everyone knows about that whole “i like your shoelaces” “thanks i stole them from the president” tumblr thing right?? and we’ve all heard those really fake sounding stories about them right?? like someone’s teacher making a reference to sherlock or something yeah??


i was…somewhere….i don’t remember where but i remember i was out in public around a lot of people like at a mall or something?? and there was a girl sort of near/around me who randomly started up a conversation with me and i thought it was really nice and all that jazz. anyway she goes “i like your shoelaces” and i thought it was really weird because i was just wearing the same old beat up red chucks i always wear with these old gross gnarly laces like ????? so i just laughed it off like “haha yeah, they’ve got a history” and like her interest in talking to me immediately plummeted. like her face dropped and the light in her eyes dulled and she just kinda “haha yeah” and stopped talking to me and we went our separate ways. i thought it was odd but pretty much immediately forgot about it

so fast forward to a few minutes ago. i’m sitting on tumblr and come across one of those fake sounding “shoelace” stories and i’m thinking “no one really does that? when has anyone ever used the shoelace thing in real life?? never. because it never happens—” and then it struck me, like remembering a foggy dream

“i like your shoelaces”


"On the Spot" Starters
  • There are NO words that start with J.
  • Up until now I thought you were a normal person, now? Not so much.
  • Let's all agree that sports are dumb and move on with our lives.
  • I didn't know how long my balls were.
  • I was thinking it, but you were the one who said it.
  • You are so salty now.
  • It's kind of funny because it sounds like cunnilingus.
  • That's my whole life story, stories of shitting myself.
  • You wanna make sure you're not that guy.
  • *claps aggressively*
  • He died for the raptor sins.
  • Raptor Jesus is coming for you.
  • It's about ignoring science all together.
  • Nowhere in the bible does it say Jesus wasn't a raptor.
  • We get them to sign a legal document so they can't sue us.
  • I can't help but swear every 7th word.
  • Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit.
  • Swearing is a little bit like having a stroke.
  • We've discovered a new fetish.
  • I enjoy smoking grass. Not weed. Just grass.
  • Do you like... Ball pits?
  • I caused 4 forest fires last year.
  • There's no joke there, just arson.
  • You dumb fucks!
  • For life, bitch.
  • It sounds like a boy band name.
  • I can breathe more air than you can!
  • And that's how it's done.
  • Pokéchu?!
  • I call bullshit.
  • Help me, I'm desperate.
Miss Jackson: Part 8

Summary: Dean Winchester: an FBI agent that got down graded to a desk job due to a slip up that nearly costing a man his life.

Y/N, or better known as ‘Miss Jackson’: a black widow killer on the rise with money in her bag and murder on her mind.

Hold on tight, folks. This is going to be one hell of a ride.

Originally posted by grunge-girl-germany

Word Count: 1k+



HUGE Disclaimer: This is gonna be a dark fic. It involves murder, death, killing, and other dark themes that will be introduced as the story proceeds. If that doesn’t sound like your thing, I suggest turning back right now.

Also, I am in now way trying to romanticize mental illness/murder. I don’t think it’s ‘cute’ or ‘attractive’, I am simply using these things to create a story.

Song: Mirel Wagner - The Dirt

Warnings: Everything stated above.

“Try to touch the past. Try to deal with the past. It’s not real. It’s just a dream.” -Ted Bundy

Dean ran to the hotel room after seeing the writing on the wall you left for him, immediately pinning the picture of it he was given once the investigators arrived before plopping down into his chair.

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Why do I bother?

honestly this has been such a disappointing experience. I wanted to make sugar friends and share my experience and while I understand the drama surrounding my first post.. IT WAS MY FIRST post. i learned and i got the memo.

This has just given me anxiety more than anything.

I came here to share my experiences which are true, i have no one to share this with. My friends can’t relate and they are judgy.

If you think my stories don’t sound real enough for you or want to talk shit thats great…kindly click unfollow and don’t look!


you don’t know me!

Now i realized maybe you shouldn’t.

 I wanted to share this with you because IT IS too good to be true. Its the stories you hear and make you want to become an SB.  I found the men i didn’t think existed, and I’m not on seeking arrangements or sending free nudes so obviously I’m doing something differently that actually works. 

I posted myself with a paper with my username on it and the lingerie my SD gave me, apparently I just bought it myself tho and I’m pretending to be an SB. Im sorry but WHO HAS THE FUCKING TIME??? what would even be good enough proof for you then?

For my own safety and the discretion my SD’s deserve I won’t be posting certain things that would “prove” I’m an SB right away.

I have my plane ticket and hotel reservation and all the conversations with my SD’s but thats how dumb girls get caught.

 i don’t need to post that for you to believe me, you don’t even have to believe me for all I care, fuck off.

I made this blog for me and for sugar sisters that actually want to encourage one another if that sounds like you please stick around :)


Sirens | Storm Chaser Gadreel | Gadreel’s Gigs Challenge

This is for Mandi’s (@kazchester-fanfiction​) Gadreel challenge. My prompt  was Storm Chaser. I could not have done this without Ceej (@demondean-for-kingofhell​) who wrote the parts I could not <3

I don’t know how many of you have ever lived in an area with severe weather, or tornado sirens, but it’s terrifying. Not just the sound of the sirens, but the thing that follows.

This is the story of a girl who moved to the midwest and didn’t know any better.

Originally posted by heytheredeann

Originally posted by bored-no-more

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A breaking story alert sounds on the television and they both stop talking to listen, Elizabeth feels her eyes going huge as she sees the body from last night!

Reporter:  “Breaking news from the Garden District of New Crest, Detective Marcus Fox was found dead in an alley behind the New Crest Health Club.  Police Chief Johnson informed us that the death is under investigation but it appears to have been a homicide….”

Matthew turns to look at his sister:  “Hey, weren’t you there last night?”

Elizabeth feels sick to her stomach and stares at the screen in horror till she hears her brother talking.

Elizabeth:  “What?  No, I decided to look somewhere else. Um…. I just remembered I need to do some homework.”

Matthew watches his sister walk away with a confused look on his face.  She never did homework!  The only reason she wasn’t failing was because their father donated so much money to the school.

If you’d like to read the Chaisson Legacy from the beginning and check out my other stories, please click here.

i came back home at like 2am yesterday and found my brother eating guac n chips in the kitchen n it turns out that HE jus started playing overwatch too and he mains genji. the two of us spent 5 minutes just talking about how excited we were that the shimada brothers were so hot and that SOUNDS like a fake superwholock tumblr story but i mean every word, we had a very enthusiastic conversation about Sexy Asian Representation. i love him and im eating cold noodles w him next week

anonymous asked:

omg please make more videos i loved listening to your gas station story

hahaha really?? this sounds fake but okAY

I really stepped outside of my tiny comfort zone today okay so I’m going to tell this redundant story that is going to sound so much like a fake post bc it’s so out of character for me

So we were in The Curve, which is a shopping centre in Kuala Lumpur, the capital city of Malaysia - it was my much more outgoing friend Shara and I, and we were walking down this pretty outdoors area with red LED blossoms on the trees when we came across a dance troupe performing in the open, inviting members of the public to join in and copy their routine

Now, being quite a reserved person I contented myself with bobbing awkwardly to the music, but then Shara dragged me into the middle of the massive circle of spectators and suddenly we were dancing to La Bamba in front of like a hundred people along with the troupe

Okay so I’m not a bad dancer when I’m actually trying (and boy was I trying in front of a hundred people) anyway so Shara yells, over the music, “Wow, you’re really good” as we did a simple salsa and now this is the scary part - everyone is like whistling at me bc they all heard Shara and are now looking at me and idk why bc I’m not THAT good but the dancers clear the floor and EXPECT ME TO SOLO DANCE


Anyway so the main guy teases me for being shy and I’m just internally screaming bc one of the dancer girls is rlly pretty and she smiled at me




I GET TO SALSA WITH PRETTY GIRL (who had like the prettiest headscarf ever too omg it had like little pink flowers on it)????? And Shara dances with random guy and I have never been happier tbh I can’t believe I did that it was so wild and crazy


Kayak panorama view of Hood Canal, a fjord that forms part of Puget Sound, Washington State.

anonymous asked:

ever seen fukigen na mononokean? its a wonderfully gay anime about a boy who sees spirits owing a debt to the owner of a tearoom who solves spirits' problems and its so wonderfully colorful and gay help

oh!! no never! 

BUT OH THERES A FOX im sold im watching it tonight,,,


Tell me if this story sounds real to you. Naive little kid with good grades and big ideas decides “Hey look at me, I’m gonna move to Zootopia! Where predators and prey live in harmony and sing Kumbaya!” Only to find, whoopsie: we don’t all get along. And that dream of becoming a big city cop: double whoopsie; she’s a meter maid. And whoopsie number three-sy: no one cares about her or her dreams.