the-sorting-hat

The Sorting Hat descends on your head, riffles through your memories, and says, “I see you’ve been through some things.”

Gryffindor [indignantly]: Oi! That’s none of your business! Sod off!

Ravenclaw [cautiously]: Why do you say that?

Slytherin [furiously]: IF YOU EVER BRING THAT UP AGAIN I WILL SHRED YOU.

Hufflepuff [honestly]: Yes.

This has been: the hat’s easiest distinguishing test.

I have this Lily Evans headcanon that a lot of people might hate me for, but just indulge me for a second

What if Lily hated being a witch?

I mean, when she first got to Hogwarts she really tried to embrace Wizarding culture

But as the years went on and having magic caused her more and more pain she began to despise it

Having magic tore her family apart. Dark Magic created a rift between her and her oldest friend.

They say the Sorting Hat places you in the House with the traits you VALUE the most, not necessarily the traits you have.

My headcanon is that Lily was a Slytherin through and through. She always took care of herself first, above anyone else. She was also cunning and clever. But the reason she was in Gryffindor was because she wanted to be brave.

And she tried. But most of the time her self-preservation won out.

Rowling said that Voldemort was willing to overlook her blood status to recruit her to the Death Eaters. What if she was genuinely tempted because she hated what she was so much that she thought the Wizarding World didn’t deserve saving?

I know a lot of people think Lily sees the world in black and white, but I think just the opposite. I think she saw the world in shades of gray.

I’m just saying. It kinda makes sense that Lily would hate the Wizarding World given the time period (the First War was brewing and all that) and I think that the only way she survived was by taking care of herself first.

I also think that Severus and James kinda symbolize Lily’s battle with the light and dark inside her.

Severus was kinda the person she was: Full of anger and hatred and low self-esteem. And James was the person she wanted to be: brave and loyal and good.

And it wasn’t until she started dating James and had Harry that she started to become the Lily we all know.

I said this was an unpopular headcanon that people would hate me for. But I’m kinda tired of people making Lily out to be this flawless goddess who could do no wrong.

I’d take flawed!Lily over perfect!Lily any day.

Huffle love

request: hufflepuff reader meets newt at hogwarts and they’re both rlly shy around each other bc they like one another and eventually they go on a date and stuff aw

This is really bad im so sorry 


“Wow! this place is amazing!” 

The Great Hall of Hogwarts was lined with magical candles and a beautiful night sky. Words could not express how amazing Hogwarts was. You had heard stories of Hogwarts from your parents, but seeing it in person was amazing. Someone bumps into you and you stumble a bit. 

“Oh, so sorry,” the young boy apologizes before walking to the back of the crowd of excited first years. 

You were going to follow him, but a voice stopped you from moving. “Welcome, first years! It’s time for the sorting hat!” the headmaster’s voice rang out through the Great Hall. You watched as one-by-one, people got sorted into their houses. 

“Newton Scamander,” 

the boy who bumped into you shyly walked to the sorting hat. He looked rather nervous, the sorting hat was placed on his head. 

“Hmm, I see many qualities in you, Scamander.” 

The hat sat there for a little bit more before yelling, 

“HUFFLEPUFF!”. 

The boy had a mixture of relief and disappointment on his face. 

“Y/N L/N!” your face snapped to the professor holding the scroll. 

You walked over to the sorting hat and sat down. It’s placed on your head and it begins speaking, 

“HUFFLEPUFF!” the hat shouted almost instantly. 

You walked over to the Hufflepuff table sitting next to the Newt. He fidgets with his hands while the rest of the first years get sorted. The entire time you wanted to speak to Newt but every time you tried talking, the only thing that came out was a few uh’s and um’s. You did manage to get a small conversation going but you choked on your drink and made a huge fool of yourself. You stopped trying, and just sat there awkwardly. 

The rest of the dinner is filled with awkward tension between you two. You had to admit, Newt was a very cute boy, and his awkward demeanor made you smile. Newt though you were stunning but he was too shy to talk to you.Once dinner was over, you were lead to your common room. It was right next to the kitchen, you could see the house elves working. One tripped next to you, and you help him up, 

“Are you okay?” you ask nicely. 

The house elf nods and continues walking. You are led into the common room, 

“Boys to the left, girls to the right, we have an hour or two before bed so enjoy yourselves.” You walked over to the windows, moonlight was shining through the windows. 

Newt looked over at you, the moonlight danced on your face, he stared at you before you looked at him. He quickly looked away and played with his hands. You walked over to him, 

“Um hello. It’s Newt right?” you asked. 

You ran your fingers through your hair and stared at the floor. 

“Yup, Newt is my name” He replied nervously. 

“Cool cool, um I like your name,” you say. 

“Thanks I was born with it” he blurted out. 

You stifled a laugh, he was so silly. You were about to answer him when someone ran up to you. 

“Hi! Your Y/N right! I’m Emily! Can I just say that I got the best vibe from you,” she continued rambling on, you didn’t want to be mean so you continued talking to her. 

Out of the corner of your eye, you could see Newt walk away and go up the stairs to his dorm. Your heart fell a little because you wanted to keep talking. The rest of the year was like that. Newt and you would try to talk but some how always got interrupted. 

You really fell for the freckled boy. His love for animals and how nice he was. His smile lit up the room and he was very smart. It was the same with him, he watched you, he loved your kindness and your loyalty. You had such a big heart and admired everything about you. 

It was 3rd year now, you and Newt haven’t spoken in a while. He was always with Leta. You ran onto the Hogwarts express and looked for a place to sit. Every cart was full except for one, you walked up to it and saw Newt and Leta. Unfortunately, you were still madly in love with Newt. You sighed and opened the door, 

“Excuse me? Can I sit here, everywhere else is full,” you ask quietly. Newt looks up and his mouth formed into a big smile. 

“Yes, of course you can,” He replies happily. You sit across from him and Leta.Leta’s arm is wrapped around Newt’s, and she’s leaning on his shoulder. 

“So Newt,” Leta starts, 

“Are you excited for hogsmeade this year?” she asks excitedly. 

“Mm Hmm” Newt mumbled, his attention wasn’t on Leta, but on you. 

You were reading your book, but he noticed you hadn’t turned the page in five minutes. Now, either you were a slow reader, or you weren’t focused on your book. You were actually listening to their conversation. You really wanted to ask him out on a date, but he wouldn’t want to go. He doesn’t even like you! Could you go as friends? You continued asking questions in your head, unaware that Newt was watching the whole time. 

“Hey, Newt, a couple of my friends invited us to another cart, want to come?” Leta asked. 

“No I’m okay, I’ll stay here” Newt replied. Leta leaves, and it’s just you and Newt. You continue “reading” your book. 

“Y/n, I know you aren’t reading,” Newt said. You peered up from your book and gave a sheepish smile. 

“How did you know?” you ask. 

“You haven’t changed the page the whole time you’ve been reading” Newt replied, like it was nothing. You were rather confused, he was talking to Leta, how did he notice that? 

“Would you like to go to Hogsmeade with me this weekend?” He asked randomly. 

Your head snaps, “Are you serious?” You ask in disbelief. Newt’s smile fell and he looked away, 

“It’s okay if you don’t want to go, I-I nevermind it was stupid,” he says sadly. 

You stand up and move to sit next to him, “No, that’s not what I meant. I would love too. I was just shocked. I’ve had a crush on you since you bumped into me on the first day of Hogwarts,” you blurted out. 

“And I fell for you when I saw you help that house elf, and when the moonlight fell on your face,” Newt confessed. 

You grabbed his hand in a burst of confidence. He turned a slight red, but he didn’t pull away. 

“There’s a candy store, filled with amazing sweets. My brother brought me some one-year,” Newt babbled on about Hogsmeade. 

You listened to every word he said, you were ecstatic that the freckled boy liked you back. You slightly zoned out and started counting his freckles. Newt looked over at you and noticed you weren’t listening. 

“Y/n, what are you doing?” He asked, amused. 

“Counting your freckles” you reply. 

He laughs and moves closer to you and you rest your head on his shoulder. He leans over and kisses your forehead. You blush and ruffle his hair. 

“You have really soft hair,” you murmur. 

“Thank you, I like your hair too,” he answers a little awkwardly. 

Honestly, the whole contact thing made him nervous. He started tapping his thumb absentmindedly on your hand. You were tired, and it was getting dark. 

“You can sleep if you want to, love” Newt tells you. You were about to object, but you yawned before you could speak. 

“I don’t mind, really,” Newt assured you. 

“I feel bad falling asleep on you though,” you told him. 

He smiles and kisses you nose. “It’s fine, I’ll wake you before we get to Hogwarts,” he promises. 

You sigh and lean back on his shoulder. You were asleep in minutes, the soft tapping on your hand felt comforting and it lulled you to sleep. 

Newt leaned against the wall of the train and looked out the window smiling because he finally had you.


Okay this was crap im sorry. 

The Houses as Teachers I've Had
  • I'm sorry that this is the most steriotypical thing you'll ever read.
  • Ravenclaw: 1. My english lit professor, who always got really excited and would go off on tangents for discussions, leading us all to an existential crisis at least once a week. Likes to pretend he's scary and aggressive when really he's a small walnut who really likes books. Randomly cut me off in a conversation because he decided to teach me how to 'punch men'. Likes to write books where he is always a main character because 'it's easier than actually going outside myself and trying these things out'. Literally trips over everything. 2. Another professor who was literally the king of oversharing and then would say things that were hysterical but would offend people who weren't understanding their irony. When people's logic didn't make sense, he'd keep following it until he twisted it to a humorous outcome. Also gave us all existential crises. Lectured about the correct way to live your life and when I asked what it was he went "hell if I know, I'm only making it up as I go along and hoping that when I die, God doesn't saute me".
  • Slytherin: 1. My high school English teacher. Loved me, hated everyone else, failed people who were shitty in general, favoritism like no other, liked to make people debate things out but didn't have a personal point to prove. Let things slide if she liked you, very sarcastic. If you said something stupid, she would threaten to shove her stiletto heel in your eye socket. Said she only cried once in her life, and it was when she was in college and her Shakespearean Verse teacher had a thick Jamaican accent, and she never knew what was happening. 2. My Spanish teacher from Mexico who was literally so chill all the time, and only disliked like 2 people who were always antagonizing him (he failed them and passed everyone else). Would say and do everything really dramatically and said ZORRO at least once per class. Complained about the price of bananas. Gave up in the last month and just made us watch Jimmy Fallon videos every day because 'Jimmy Fallon is the man'.
  • Gryffindor: 1. Skateboarded into my freshman comp. course every day, forgot to wear pants under dresses that were see-through, would make us read vague philosophical essays that she then used to advance her own personal agendas. Rarely ever taught, mostly just went on tumblr while everyone looked around frantically. Tried to convince us to raise our children genderless by giving them a name like 'turnip' and never telling anyone their sex. 2. History-enthused teacher who used modern analogies to explain american history. Was the most petty man ever, it was perfect. When 'sporty' guys in the class would refuse to participate, he would pull out a small basketball and his wastebasket, and every time they got a question correct on the verbal review, he would let them shoot. Sweet guy in general, would walk people to the nurse, authoritative and honestly ugh I love him he is my son.
  • Hufflepuff: 1. Math teacher who ever Friday brought in some kind of baked good or candy, had little songs she'd dance around the classroom singing, chubby and sweet little woman, really liked Bon Jovi. 2. An advisor I met with once only because I wanted to drop a class that I was failing who sat me down for four hours. She started crying about 6 times, read me a whole bunch of motivational quotes, kept reading excerpts of the bible, and randomly having us pray together

The other day, I wondered how the world of Harry Potter would be different if all students were sorted every year, rather than only in their first. So I wrote this.


Little is changed from Harry Potter’s first year at Hogwarts. Still he sits under that hat, thinking, not Slytherin; still the Hat considers his potential before sending him to Gryffindor. Still he is joined in Gryffindor by Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger, still the Slytherin he so feared to be in will hold Draco Malfoy. Little is different about the placement of the older students, for all the Sorting Ceremony is made longer, and the Hat’s song a little changed, with their participation. Fred and George Weasley, like their younger brother, are still in Gryffindor. Ambitious Percy Weasley may be in Slytherin by now, maybe not yet, but he is a Prefect regardless. Oliver Wood or someone like him will still be Harry’s first Quidditch Captain.

In Harry’s second year, he and Ron are in more trouble than ever for missing the Sorting Ceremony. Now the Hat must be got out again to Sort these two boys who have caused such a stir, to confirm what surprises no one: both will remain in Gryffindor this year. (This time, Harry is once again thinking his wishes to the Hat, but instead of not Slytherin, he is pleading, Gryffindor, Gryffindor – picturing the warm Gryffindor common room that is the first home he has ever known, the first place that has welcomed him rather than shut him away. The hat, once again, obeys his wishes.) Both boys are relieved to find their House much the same as they left it; Hermione Granger is in their midst again, joined by Ron’s shy little sister Ginny.

Neville Longbottom, who had been plagued throughout his first year in Gryffindor by doubt as to his right to be there, is with them again, too. They missed his silent drama at the Ceremony, too, as the boy sat under the Hat that could see into his mind and reflected on the end of term. He had remembered standing up to the three classmates he thought he could call his friends, only to be left behind – hexed, as he so often was, ridiculed. More proof that he did not belong in the brave House. But he remembered, too, Dumbledore’s voice at the end-of-year feast – praising him for doing what was hard. He remembered being awarded House points for this simple act, and with the meagre sum, winning Gryffindor the House Cup. That heady feeling of being, for just one moment, a celebrated hero – that was like nothing else. That was worth a year and more of self-doubt. So Neville now unpacked his bags in the Gryffindor dormitories again, and, like Harry, he felt for the first time that he was home.

Harry has grown complacent, all his friends staying with him from his first year to his second. He hears the warnings of the older students on his Quidditch team (some of whom go from one House’s team to the next from year to year), the reminders that he will need to make new friends soon, but he does not really believe them. He cannot imagine his world changing even more than it has.

This is why he feels as though his stomach has dropped out of his body, as though he has fallen into some bottomless pit, when things change in his third year. He is still in Gryffindor, yes, and still with Ron, thank goodness for that, but Hermione Granger is no longer of their House. Hermione, who spent the last term of her second year as a statue, whose research was the only part of her that got to be a part of the battle in the Chamber of Secrets, who scrambled and sweated when she was unpetrified to pass all her courses in the remaining days of term – despite the promises of the administration that classes missed by the basilisk’s victims would not be held against their grades. Hermione, who had been called an “insufferable know-it-all” so many times that it had almost stopped hurting, who had felt so frustrated with the cavalier attitude her fellow Gryffindors took to classwork. She was now a Ravenclaw, the blue insignia on her robes matching that of Ginny Weasley, who seemed to have shrunk in on herself after the events of last term. (Ginny, like Harry in his first year, sat under the Hat in her second year thinking not Slytherin, not Slytherin, but then she had paused, and thought, not Gryffindor, too, because Riddle had possessed her despite her red-and-gold robes, and because she did not feel brave.)

Ginny, Hermione, and Luna Lovegood (here is one girl the Hat cannot imagine placing anywhere but Ravenclaw, though it will surprise itself in years to come) soon find each other in the Ravenclaw common room, and form an odd, but tight, bond over the first few weeks of term. Hermione finds that it is nice to have close friends who are girls; she never had this in her two years in Gryffindor. She still finds time to talk to Harry, to help him with an essay in the library or to keep him company on restless Hogsmeade weekends or to walk with him to Hagrid’s hut. They are still friends, and good ones; no disparity of House can change the bond forged in fighting a mountain troll together, and all they have been through together since.

She explains this, at last, to Ron Weasley in the days before Christmas vacation, when the dark looks he has been sending her all term finally come to a head in a shouting match outside the Divination tower. Ron, too quick to view matters in black and white, had seen her Ravenclaw badge as a betrayal, a defection. Had imagined that this was her choice, rather than the honest assessment of the Hat. Had felt left behind, discarded, second-rate, dismissed like his brothers’ hand-me-down robes that he wore. With Harry to remind him not to be an ass, to remind Hermione that Ron was always like this, they made up soon enough. Hermione laughed and called Ron an idiot, but fondly; and he laughed back, and told her that the blue and silver only made her look more the nerd. The trio were reunited, even if they were in different houses.

And, after that fight at least, perhaps the difference of house was a blessing in disguise. Crookshanks could not worry at Ron’s rat when they lived in different common rooms. There was no fight between Ron and Hermione about their pets; when Scabbers went missing, there was no talk of foul play, only an agreement between the three friends that they would try to find him. The three were still present in the Shrieking Shack, two Gryffindor children and one Ravenclaw, to bear witness to the true identity of Scabbers, to bear witness to the reunion of the three living Marauders. They still saved Buckbeak; they still lost Pettigrew.

Keep reading

The Sorting Hat
  • Sorting hat: </b> you belong in Slytherin, bro
  • Harry: </b> no, pls anything but Slytherin
  • Sorting hat: </b> no drarry is my otp
  • Harry: </b> but Gryffindor-
  • Sorting Hat: </b> did I FUCKING STUTTER
  • Harry: </b>
  • Sorting hat: </b>
  • Harry: </b>
  • Sorting hat: </b> SLYTHERIN
Here's a thought:

What if the Hogwarts sorting process is less about who you are, and more about what you need?

The sorting hat sees a boy thrust into a new world he barely understands, a boy desperate not to blend in with the crowd, and a girl who would sink as deep into her books as she is allowed, and says- what do these children need? They need courage. The courage to keep moving forward despite overwhelming circumstances and high stakes, the courage to see themselves as heroes, the courage to speak up and speak out against injustice.

The hat sees a lost girl whose world has been shattered, who can’t be bothered to fit the world she sees to others’ standards, and says- what does she need? Knowledge. The knowledge of how and why things happen, and the wisdom to accept the things she cannot change.

The hat sees a boy desperate to fill his father’s shoes, used to getting his way and confused at a world that works differently than he was taught. The hat says- he needs power. He needs an identity that will remind him that he has worth, that he can be more than he is.

I wouldn’t want to attend a hogwarts that sorted based on what universal human trait I exhibited most often. I wouldn’t want to attend a hogwarts that sorted similar personalities into uniform groups. I would want to attend a hogwarts that sorts based on its students’ needs, doing its best to help them succeed.

When dumbledore says, “perhaps we sort too soon,” maybe he sees the good that a little bit of courage, instead of a sense of self-worth inflated into superiority, could have done Severus Snape.

Maybe the most dark wizards come out of slytherin because, despite their house’s best intentions, they never quite find the confidence they need there. And it is the unsatisfied, those most disenchanted with the system, who seek to destroy it.

The fact that you're not your House stereotype doesn't mean the Sorting Hat was wrong.

A Gryffindor can be afraid of bugs, have anxiety, appreciate the small and pretty things, be introverted, enjoy lazy afternoons, choose not to fight if they find it smarter.

A Slytherin can be self-conscious, rely on others, love the sunrise, like cheesy pop music, be afraid in the dark, like scented candles, hate snakes, be pacifist and shy.

A Ravenclaw can prefer company to solitude, party loudly, forget about homework now and then, excell at Quiddich, have a learning disability, be a hot mess.

A Hufflepuff can be selfish sometimes, be more rational than expected, enjoy books, be extremely brave, like high heels, have a bright mind, have a bad day.

The fact that you’re not your House stereotype doesn’t mean the Sorting Hat was wrong!

ron didn’t know how the sorting ceremony worked so i am genuinely curious what all these poor first years were thinking like i totally believe there were 11 year olds so desperate to get into ravenclaw or something that they memorized the dictionary and practiced a dozen basic spells only to find out some old hat was gonna recite a poem and read their minds just to tell them “yeah kid you like intelligence and all but damn look at that ambition ur gonna be slytherin” and this kid just looks into the camera like they’re in the office

The Houses and External Validation
  • Against what many people think, the houses aren't always what you believe from the outside.
  • Gryffindor: Majority of the time, they really couldn't care less. If you don't like them, don't like them. Only certain people's opinions matter to them, and those people they are close to they'll do very much to gain their respect, but trueness to self supersedes.
  • Slytherin: Craves external validation. Wants to be likes, or rather just to be thought of in a certain way by people. Will care more about what family (people they're loyal to) thinks than gryffindor, and often will let tradition overpower personal wants. Very rare for them literally not to care what someone thinks, and that's when they truly loathe someone.
  • Hufflepuff: Loves external validation because that means everything is good and there is general consensus. Wants positive external validation and instead of becoming angry like slytherin when they cannot get the validation of someone, hufflepuff becomes disheartened. Will not care about external validation if the disapproval is because of a belief that the hufflepuff strongly holds.
  • Ravenclaw: Moderately cares about validation, but probably the least of all the houses, because to them, logic and correctness are the way they are and they really don't care all that much if you dislike them simply because you don't like the facts.

Those sorted into Gryffindor are not the bravest. For what eleven year old would stand in the face of any fear? The children that the sorting hat decides are best for Gryffindor want to be the bravest; want to be the most daring. The children that put on capes and pretended to fly; the ones that knew in their bones they had to stand in the face of fear.

Those sorted into Ravenclaw are not the smartest. For what eleven year old knows all? The children that the sorting hat decides are best for Ravenclaw want to learn; want to know all. The children that studied everything around them because they could; the ones that knew in their bones they had to ask every question.

Those sorted into Hufflepuff are not the most hard-working. For what eleven year old works to all ends consistently? The children that the sorting hat decides are best for Hufflepuff want to be loyal; want to work hard. The children that always stopped to help out despite no reward; the ones that knew in their bones they had to help other people be special.

Those sorted into Slytherin are not the greatest. For what eleven year old has an end; let alone further it by whatever means? The children that the sorting hat decides are best for Slytherins want to be cunning, want to be successful. The children that realised that the ends justify the means; the ones that knew in their bones that they had to strive for better, for bigger.

For what eleven year old is a person fully developed? No, the sorting hat does not sort for what they are, nor what they might be, but what value they hold truest in their heart.