the-shoes-are-my-dead-cousin's-shoes

Idk
  • Guy:Did you hear about the fire at the shoe factory?
  • Girl:Lemme guess a lot of "soles" were lost? God at least attempt to be clever.
  • Guy:You think this is a fucking joke? The factory on 8th is gone, 2500 employees are all dead except for my cousin the fire nearly caused an explosion!
  • Girl:Oh my god I'm so sorry. Is your cousin gonna be ok?
  • Guy:The heat of the flames were so intense that it fused his shoes his feet so he needs surgery.
  • Girl:That's awful
  • Guy:Yep. The only shoes left are stuck to the only one alive. I guess you can-
  • Girl:Son of a bitch I swear if you say what I think you're gonna say...
  • Guy:say he's the....
  • Girl:I will murder you
  • Guy:SOLE survivor!
  • Girl:.........
  • Girl:...........
  • Girl:I'm pregnant and your dad is the father