the-salty-spitoon

Bouncer: Welcome to The Salty Splatoon, how tough are ya?

Girl Inkling: How tough am I? HOW TOUGH AM I? I once won a Tower Control match all by myself!

Bouncer: Hmm, not bad…

G. Inkling: AND I HAD A CHARGER WEAPON!!! AND MY ENTIRE TEAM DISCONNECTED 20 SECONDS INTO THE MATCH!!!

Bouncer: So–sorry to keep ya waiting!! Right this way ma’am!!

If you disliked Korra in any of the books prior to book 4, then I do not want to hear you try to justify her characterization, acting as if the dissenters are wrong for disliking how she was treated. Do not try to convince me that she was slung through the mud for the greater good, or that her brutalization was necessary to have compassion for others. There is nothing humbling or balanced about seeing her struggle that much only to still be uncertain about her future. Get the fuck out of here with that weak ass faux eastern philosophy.

I make a left down the alleyway, turning my phone’s LED flash on to scare the scavenging rats out of my path. The wind blows cold. I lift my jacket collar; half to keep the chills from my neck, and half to keep my face in shadow.

I pause and listen to the gutters drip into the dumpsters. I remember now. 3rd door on the left after the end of the fire escape. I lay a single finger on each door, muttering as I pass “One… Two…” I square off at the third door, knock once and tap 5 times; once for each finger (don’t ask why. I don’t make the rules and I barely follow them.)

I take two steps back, only having to wait a moment for the hooded figure to step under the single light in the alley.

His grisly voice curls the already chilled hair on my neck. “Welcome to the Salty Spitoon; how tough are ya?”

“How tough am I?”

I join him under the light. He looks me dead in the face; I stare right back. I know he can smell the valve oil on my breath. 

“I owe a debt to the government.” I pause and check over my shoulders. You never know who’s watching. “One I don’t plan to pay” I add.

“What’s the debt?” He asks condesendingly

“$31.00.” I sneer

“In library fines." 

I cry everytime
  • Bouncer:Welcome to the Salty Spitoon how tough are you?
  • Spongebob:How tough am I? Got a new bottle of ketchup?
  • *Bouncer hands him ketchup*
  • Spongebob:Hiya S;FILHJ ADSOITJRFJVCNF'AFDJOI FSEPWJRF DJNVFGJHDS FKJAFHGH *takes a deep breath* SDFKJWE FBNV'O'Z KJRQAHESBDFV ZJ
  • Spongebob:Could I perhaps run this under some hot water...?
  • Bouncer:Get out.