the-roman-senate

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Some art for fanfic because I have no life and I need to post something

Ptolemaic Princes Sam and Dean + Roman Senator Castiel and General Lucian (Lucifer) Agustus of The Thirteenth Legion 

In case you wanted to know more about the Ptolemaic Empire/Dynasty: http://rdshepard.tumblr.com/post/162191119254/an-in-depth-look-at-the-ptolemaic-empiredynasty

@i-bleed-salt

@spnyoucantkeepmedown

You had to be a member of the like .01% to join the Roman Senate like that was an actual legal restriction on membership they weren’t the good guys there lol

Under D&D rules, a dagger does 1d4 base damage. The average human has a Strength score of 10, adding no bonuses. Several of them, due to the military background of many, likely had strength or dexterity scores of 11-14. But only two or three, and quite a few would be frail with old age, sinking to 8-9 strength. All in all, we can only add a total of +1 damage per round from Brutus.

An estimate of sixty men were involved in Caesar’s actual murder. Not the wider conspiracy, but the stabbing.

Julius Caesar was a general, which is generally depicted as a 10th level fighter. Considering his above baseline constitution and dex, weakened by his probable history of malaria, epilepsy, and/or strokes (-1 dex modifier), and lack of armor at the time of the event, he would likely have something along the lines of AC 9 and 60 HP. The senators would likely hit him roughly 55% the time.

So the Roman senate had a damage-per-round of 66, more than enough to kill Caesar in one round even without factoring in surprise round advantage.

Pantheon is derived from the Ancient Greek “Pantheion” (Πάνθειον) meaning “of, relating to, or common to all the gods”
Cassius Dio, a Roman senator who wrote in Greek, speculated that the name comes either from the statues of so many gods placed around this building, or from the resemblance of the dome to the heavens.

Requested by @keeganwj

Bewear the Ides of March!

Julius Caesar was stabbed by the Roman Senators, not hugged. Yet, if the ancient senators were actually Bewears, hugging Caesar would have been equally effective as a method of assassination. According to the Pokédex, Bewear has a habit of hugging its trainers…to death. So today, let’s figure out how this might happen.

The human spine, also known as the vertebral column, is a vital part of our skeleton and nervous system. It is made up of 33 different bones called vertebrae, separated from each other with intervertebral discs. The first seven (colored in red) are called cervical vertebrae and are located in your neck. The middle twelve bones in your back (in blue) are called the thoracic vertebrae. The lower back (in yellow) consists of the lumbar vertebrae. The last 9 vertebrae (5 in green / 4 in pink) are fused together and form the sacrum and the coccyx, or your tailbone.

It’s not easy to break a spine; the discs between each vertebrae are made of squishy cartilage that is specifically designed to absorb shock and prevent your back from breaking. The segmented nature of the vertebrae allows the back to bend in several directions, also to avoid breaking by being flexible. Not to mention the walls of muscle that surround it. 

For death to occur, the individual vertebrae need to shift dramatically so they damage the nerve that runs through the middle of them. Typically, spinal-injury deaths are related to the phrenic nerve, which connects your brain to your lungs and allows breathing to happen. Several arteries also run through the vertebral column, and if they are pinched or crushed it can result in a stroke.

Of course, how much force needed to break a spine depends on whose spine you are crushing: children have more delicate spines than adults, and so on. However, it also depends on where on the spine you are crushing. The neck (cervical spine), for example, requires a force of 3,000 Newtons (roughly 700 pounds) to fracture. But Bewear doesn’t strangle its victims, it hugs them – so Bewear is attacking the thoracic and lumbar vertebrae. Various studies find the absolute limit for lumbar vertebrae to be about 1600 Newtons (360 pounds) of force.

This is surprisingly reasonable. Boxers and professional martial artists’ punches have been documented over 4,000 Newtons (900 pounds), and kicks can exceed 9,000 Newtons (2,000 pounds). Squeezing is a little different, since it is pure muscle work instead of a forward thrust, and human grip strength at its strongest is about 150 pounds. So you might not be able to crush a spine with your bare hands, but can Bewear crush a spine with its bear hands?

Probably. This shouldn’t come as a surprise, but most animals are stronger than humans in terms of muscle exertion. Some chimpanzees have been shown to be eight times stronger than humans. This is mostly because of the way we use our muscles: humans have developed a lot of control. We can finely tune our muscles, precisely control our finger movements, only using certain muscle fibers at one time. This saves us energy in many ways: you don’t have to use your entire bicep to lift up a pencil, like you might when you’re lifting weights. Other animals don’t have this control: It’s all or nothing for them. Physically, the way their muscles activate prevents them from having the fine control that we have. In other words, Bewear is incapable of giving a small hug. It can only give big, spine crushing squeezes.

Bewear’s hugs must deliver a force of 1600 Newtons (360 pounds) in order to break a trainer’s vertebral column.

IN the second century of the Christian era, the Empire of Rome comprehended the fairest part of the earth, and the most civilised portion of mankind. The frontiers of that extensive monarchy were guarded by ancient renown and disciplined valour. The gentle but powerful influence of laws and manners had gradually cemented the union of the provinces. Their peaceful inhabitants enjoyed and abused the advantages of wealth and luxury. The image of a free constitution was preserved with decent reverence: the Roman senate appeared to possess the sovereign authority, and devolved on the emperors all the executive powers of government.
—  The opening of “The Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire,” Edward Gibbon’s famous explanation of how and why the once-great empire ended.

Here’s another Tomarry/Harrymort prompt that no one asked for:

Ancient Rome, where - wait for it - Tom, orphaned at a young age, was sold as a slave to a wealthy Roman man (Gellert) who sees potential in him as even a child, and is eventually trained to become a gladiator (who were just glorified slaves, in Ancient Rome).

He is very good at this.

Tom kills with unprecedented swiftness and violence, hoping, like all gladiators, to someday buy his freedom. It’s almost like some other force is at work when he steps into the ring. His opponents often end up running from him under his glare, and he is referred to as ‘Voldemort’ by spectators. They eventually forget ‘Tom’ ever existed.

Enter Harry, high-born aristocrat and sole Heir to the very rich and influential Potter family, who has just started his role as patrician within the Roman Senate. Albus, current emperor and most powerful man in Rome, has taken a liking to the young new politician and invites him to sit with him at the Coliseum that night.

'Have you ever seen gladiators fight?’ he asks. Harry hadn’t, but even he had heard the whispers of 'Voldemort’. Albus smiles.

'You’re really in for something, then.’

…so basically, a politically powerful Harry, a physically powerful but socially disadvantaged Tom, the potential for some scandalous Gellert/Albus (because of course Gellert will invite all the most powerful figures in Rome to his crazy, lavish party, where his Gladiators are just there as eye candy, which is how this whole thing kicks off), and… and I think someone should write this. ✨

The signs as normal and real words:

Aries: Sousasexual, deriving sexual pleasure from acts involving famed marching band composer John Phillip Sousa.

Taurus: Iponderous, a deep and wistful desire for effective copyright law.

Gemini: Terrorium, the room in a Roman senators house built specifically for cowering in existential fear.

Cancer: Brimshaw, the act of carving and polishing hats, commonly with nautical scenes.

Leo: Dogunism, a sociopolitical system in which a state is formed of dogs.

Virgo: indefication, the act of soiling ones trousers as a result of not knowing which option to chose.

Libra: Granulage, a scientific measurement of how uncomfortable getting sand under ones bathing suit is.

Scorpio: Eckling, the act of guffawing whilst inside of an echoy space such as a cave or well.

Saggatarius: Pottincing, a short lived European martial art involving shortswords and ladles.

Capricorn: Santoff, a situation where one has too many chips for their dip or vice versa.

Aquarius: Rhemmurell, a substance that is a combination of two disgusting things but is quite tasty if one actually tried it.

Pisces: Pratchettophone, a word that sounds like the sort of thing author Terry Pratchett would use.

Then let amorous kisses dwell
On our lips, begin and tell
A Thousand, and a Hundred, score
An Hundred, and a Thousand more,
— 

Catullus - From Catullus 5

Translated:  Richard Crashaw


Artemis:  If you’re interested see link for entire poem (Latin and English) with notes and history of use in popular culture.  I couldn’t just leave it alone. :)  



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Gracchi Bothers: the reformers

Tiberius and Gaius Gracchus were a pair of tribunes of the plebs from the 2nd Century BC, who sought to introduce land reform and other populist legislation in ancient Rome. They were both members of the Populares, a group of politicians who appealed to the average citizens and that opposed the conservative Optimates in the Roman Senate. They have been deemed the founding fathers of both socialism and populism.

Tiberius Gracchus, born in 168 BC, was the older of the Gracchi brothers. He is best known for his attempts to legislate agrarian reform and for his untimely death at the hands of the Senators. Under Tiberius’ proposal, no one citizen would be able to possess more than 500 iugera of public land (ager publicus) that was acquired during wars. Any excess land would be confiscated to the state and redistributed to the poor and homeless in small plots of about 30 iugera per family.

The Senate was resistant to agrarian reform because its members owned most of the land and it was the basis of their wealth. Therefore, Tiberius was very unpopular with the Senatorial elite. His main opponent was Marcus Octavius, another tribune who vetoed Tiberius’ bills from entering the Assembly and whom Tiberius had previously gotten removed from office.

When King Attalus III of Pergamum died, he left his entire fortune to the people of Rome. Pergamum was one of the richest cities in the ancient world, and Tiberius wanted to use the wealth from Pergamum to find his agrarian law. This was a direct attack on Senatorial power and the Senate’s opposition to Tiberius began to increase.

With his term coming to an end, Tiberius sought re-election as tribune for the following year. This was unprecedented and his opponents claimed that it was illegal and Tiberius was trying to become a tyrant. On election, violence broke out in the Senate between Tiberius’ followers and his opponents. Tiberius was beaten to death with wooden chairs and nearly 300 of his supporters suffered the same fate. These deaths marked a turning point in Roman history and a long-lasting association between violence and the office of the tribune.

Tiberius was succeeded by his younger brother, Gaius Gracchus, who was also a social reformer. He was quaestor in 126 BC and tribune of the plebs in 123 BC. He is generally considered to be a more complex and confrontational figure than Tiberius, and he had a much clearer legislative agenda that extended beyond simple agrarian reform. Some of his laws appear to have been directed toward the people responsible for his brother’s death.

He renewed Tiberius’ land law and founded new colonies in Italy and Carthage. He introduced a law that no conscription of Romans under age 17 would be allowed and that the state would pay for basic military equipment. Previously, the soldier had to pay for his own equipment, which was especially difficult for the lowest census class. Like his brother, he also funded state-subsidized grain. Another law passed by Gaius imposed the death penalty on any judge who accepted a bribe to convict another Roman guilty.

Gaius’ opponents tried to win away his support and he lost popular appeal by 121 BC. After a riot broke out on the Capitoline Hill and one of Gaius’ opponents was killed, the ‘ultimate decree of the Senate’ (Senatus consultum ultimum) was passed for the first time. This law gave the Senate the power to declare anyone an enemy of the state and execute him without trial by a jury. A mob was then raised to assassinate Gaius. Knowing that his own death was imminent, Gaius committed suicide on the Aventine Hill in 121 BC. All of his reforms were undermined except for his grain laws. Three thousand of his supporters were subsequently arrested and put to death in the proscriptions that followed.

The tribunates of Tiberius and Gaius Gracchus began a turbulent period in Rome’s domestic politics, and their careers and untimely deaths emphasize both the strengths and the weaknesses of the tribunate. In the following decades, the tendency toward violence became even more clear as numerous tribunes saw their time in office come to an end with their deaths.

ROMAN SENATOR CATO THE ELDER FAMOUSLY ENDED ALMOST EVERY SPEECH WITH THE PHRASE “CARTHAGO DELENDA EST,” OR “CARTHAGE MUST BE DESTROYED.”

IT WAS HIS BELIEF THAT THE ONLY WAY TO ENSURE ROMAN SECURITY WAS TO COMPLETELY ANNIHILATE THE CITY OF CARTHAGE. THE ABSURD PART, HOWEVER, WAS THAT CATO EVEN USED THIS PHRASE TO CONCLUDE SPEECHES THAT HAD ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO DO WITH CARTHAGE WHATSOEVER.

HE WOULD MAKE A SPEECH ABOUT SOMETHING ELSE COMPLETELY AND END IT WITH “ALSO, IT IS MY OPINION THAT CARTHAGE MUST BE DESTROYED.”

FOR THOSE KEEPING SCORE AT HOME, THE ROMANS WOULD EVENTUALLY RAZE CARTHAGE, SALT THE EARTH IT STOOD ON TO PREVENT ANYONE FROM REBUILDING, AND ENSLAVE THE ENTIRE POPULATION, BECAUSE THE ROMANS WERE APPARENTLY NEVER LOWKEY ABOUT ANYTHING