the-roman-senate

Me applying for a job
  • Interviewer: Okay, thank you very much, is there something else you want to say?
  • Me: ...
  • Me: Ceterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam
  • Interviewer: what
  • Me: what
  • Cato the Elder: nice

ROMAN SENATOR CATO THE ELDER FAMOUSLY ENDED ALMOST EVERY SPEECH WITH THE PHRASE “CARTHAGO DELENDA EST,” OR “CARTHAGE MUST BE DESTROYED.”

IT WAS HIS BELIEF THAT THE ONLY WAY TO ENSURE ROMAN SECURITY WAS TO COMPLETELY ANNIHILATE THE CITY OF CARTHAGE. THE ABSURD PART, HOWEVER, WAS THAT CATO EVEN USED THIS PHRASE TO CONCLUDE SPEECHES THAT HAD ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO DO WITH CARTHAGE WHATSOEVER.

HE WOULD MAKE A SPEECH ABOUT SOMETHING ELSE COMPLETELY AND END IT WITH “ALSO, IT IS MY OPINION THAT CARTHAGE MUST BE DESTROYED.”

FOR THOSE KEEPING SCORE AT HOME, THE ROMANS WOULD EVENTUALLY RAZE CARTHAGE, SALT THE EARTH IT STOOD ON TO PREVENT ANYONE FROM REBUILDING, AND ENSLAVE THE ENTIRE POPULATION, BECAUSE THE ROMANS WERE APPARENTLY NEVER LOWKEY ABOUT ANYTHING

2

Library of Celsus, Ephesus, Anatolia.

The library of Celsus is an ancient Roman building in Ephesus, Anatolia, Turkey. It was built in honour of the Roman Senator Tiberius Julius Celsus Polemaeanus (completed in 135 AD) by Celsus’ son, Gaius Julius Aquila(consul, 110 AD). The library was built to store 12,000 scrolls and to serve as a mausoleum for Celsus, who is buried in a crypt beneath the library. (x).

Coriolanus - A Summary
  • (Contains spoilers for a 400-year-old play)
  • Citizens of Rome: Grain's too expensive! We're going to starve!
  • Caius Martius: Too bad, fragments. I'm off to fight in Corioles.
  • Aufidius: Damn you Caius Martius, you win again!
  • Roman Senate: Yay! We will call you Caius Martius Coriolanus!
  • Volumnia: Hooray, more wounds. Now run for Consul!
  • Caius Martius: Do I have to?
  • Volumnia: I'm your mother. If I say you run for Consul, you'll do it!
  • Caius Martius: Yes, mummy. Give me your voices, rabble... I mean, citizens. Please?
  • Citizens of Rome: Okay!
  • Tribunes: ...you do realise he secretly despises you all.
  • Citizens of Rome: Oh.
  • Tribunes: Banish him instead!
  • Citizens of Rome: Okay!
  • Caius Martius: Hi Aufidius. I know we're sworn enemies, but Rome banished me. Wanna kill them all?
  • Aufidius: I love you. I mean... okay, sure, sounds good.
  • Cominius and Menenius: We used to be your bestest friends. Please stop attacking Rome.
  • Caius Martius: No.
  • Virgilia: I'm your wife. This is your son. Please stop attacking Rome.
  • Caius Martius: No.
  • Volumnia: Mummy says PRETTY PLEASE stop attacking Rome.
  • Caius Martius: Dammit, Mummy, I hate it when you do that. Okay, okay. Peace treaty.
  • Aufidius: NOOOO! YOU TRAITOR! I HATE YOU SO MUCH! I KILL YOU NOW!
  • Caius Martius: *dies*