the-rear-pocket

Rise Above

October 24, 2075 - Marymoor, mid-afternoon

Armed with an insulated to-go box of pizza and a head full of Bliss, Kestrel walked through the streets of Marymoor under a haze of fog and smog. The sidewalks were already starting to go slick under her boots as the fog condensed and froze around her, and there was little to be done about the cold seeping through the bullet-holes in her well-worn leather jacket. The cold had her shivering and shaking all over, but the Bliss made her care little and feel less of it.

She’d gotten a draw on her funds from Gold Sun before the shaman had left the hotel room over half a week prior, and half that had already gone to a smaller, but steadier supply of the drug. She hadn’t meant to hit up before leaving the pizza place, but the gears in her stomach were already turning. Another dose or two was tucked neatly into her rear pocket, just in case.

Porter’s machine shop came into view, lights on inside barely visible through the haze. Kestrel had, of course, checked to be sure of the hours. She should have called prior to even getting on the first bus it took to get all the way out here–over an hour and a half and three bus lines–but here she was anyway. It was, she reminded herself, a visit long past due.

Kestrel took in a breath, adopted a grin, and sauntered on over. She took a moment to brush aside brownish-blonde locks and tugged the entry door open.

“Yo! Porter? You in?”

A DEA officer stopped at our farm yesterday...

“I need to inspect your farm for illegal growing of drugs.”

I said, “Okay, but don’t go into that field over there…..”

The DEA officer verbally exploded saying, “Mister, I have the authority of the federal government with me!” Reaching into his rear pants pocket, the arrogant officer removed his badge and shoved it in my face. “See this fucking badge?! This badge means I’m allowed to go wherever I wish… On any land! No questions asked or answers given. Have I made myself clear?! Do you understand?!”

I nodded politely, apologized and went about my chores. A short time later, I heard screaming, looked up, and saw the DEA officer running for his life being chased by my big, old, mean bull… With every step the bull was gaining ground on the officer, and it seemed likely that he sure enough would get gored before he reached safety. The officer was clearly terrified.

I threw down my tools, ran for the fence, and yelled at the top of my lungs…

“Your badge! Show him your fucking BADGE!!”

Daily Best Jokes: Only the BEST jokes selected for you. Get your funny on!

new -> spring2k15 -> ketchup -> Bronze56k Bulletproof Armor Vest is constructed with 100% woven Aramid fibers with a polyester carrier for moisture wicking, stain resistance and anti-microbial performance. Front and rear pockets are available for additional 5" x 8" or 8" x 10" trauma plate protection. Removable straps and ballistic suspension system also allow you to easily configure the vest for your comfort.

a gift for Pia

The lovely @mypiafan​ has come down with a case of pink eye…so sorry to hear you’re under the weather! Sending you hugs and warm wishes to get well soon!

Here’s a wee Modern Glasgow snippet to help you feel better…

—–

Jamie hitched the paper bag higher against his shoulder, turning his back to Claire so that she could fish the key out of his rear pocket.

She unlocked the door but her other hand lightly cupped his bum, squeezing. He yelped, then flushed. “Jesus God, dinna do that in the street, Claire,” he hissed.

She smiled at him. “Does that mean you’ll come?”

“Do I really have a choice? What kind of event is it?”

She returned her hand to his as they slowly climbed the stairs, voices echoing in the stairwell. “It’s the hospital’s annual charity gala. Formal. Fancy. I wasn’t going to go, but now – ”

He set down the bag on the tattered welcome mat in front of the door to Murtagh’s flat. Turning towards her, he cupped her lovely face between his hands.

“I’d love to. If nothing else, to make all the other men jealous.”

She smiled so widely that he couldn’t help but kiss it. It went on for a long time.

And would have lasted longer had Murtagh not whipped the door open. “Are ye gonna wait out there all day, or – ”

Claire tried to pull away but Jamie held her tighter, twining his hands in her hair, swallowing her mouth.

The older man sighed, picked up the grocery bag, and slammed the door.