the-rant

LGBT REPRESENTATION IS IMPORTANT.

I never understood why reading books or watching movies with LGBT+ characters when I was younger excited me so much. Why every time I would see a man propose to his boyfriend or a trans girl getting gender reassignment surgery I would be so happy. I finally realized it’s because I was so afraid of the fact that I thought i was into girls. I didn’t think it was normal and it was hard to accept, still is sometimes. But seeing it in popular tv shows and movies, even if it’s not even a main part of the story, makes me realize it is being normalized. That I’m not alone. I’m not the only one. It’s taking time but we are ALWAYS progressing, and it is ALWAYS getting better. LGBT representation is important to me. To everyone. We need more. So much more.

here’s the thing guys, there’s a lot about hockey culture that needs to change. toxic masculinity, homophobia, racism, and i would say transphobia but probably only 5 people in the nhl even know what that is. but there’s also non-social issues that need to be fixed…for instance i know we all love goon culture because of the movie but i feel like a lot of us are missing the point of goon. it’s a funny heart warming story, but that ending is a sad one, it’s supposed to make you feel sick for watching a guy put his literal body on the line for his team for our entertainment. it’s supposed to make you think “is it worth it.?” and i’m not sure if i’m totally cool with the way tumblr treats that movie like it is worth it. but that’s beside the point because that’s just a movie.

but Connor McDavid missed out on his rookie year because of a collarbone break and surgery. I broke my collarbone and i can tell you, it’s not a fun bone to break (not that any of them are but…there is literally only 2 things you can really do about it and sadly “not moving it” isn’t an option). It’s just so sick that we’ve gotten to the point where, players are not people. They’re targets for other players, paychecks for their owners/gms, x’s and o’s for their coaches, and characters for us. When players are hurt they experience pain and depression and loneliness and helplessness and can develop or exacerbate mental illness. It doesn’t matter if they’re not hit in the brain. psychologically these men are raised with the idea that they are literally NOTHING without sports. since he was FIFTEEN Connor was treated like nothing but a hockey player, not even a human being. 

So when we act like it’s not a big deal that a guy purposefully injured him. when we act like it’s nothing when a 26 year old can get away with causing intentional injury onto a player who is seven years younger than him. we’re all totally missing the point. “it wasn’t a head injury” “he wasn’t being homophobic” ect. ect. ect. SO WHAT??? i’m sick of this idea that you have to be The Worst to be bad. 

Connor is not crying to anyone by bringing it up to the media. He is saying “this isn’t how it’s supposed to be so i am going to hold him accountable.” (because manning wasn’t going to take responsibility for his actions himself that’s obvious) Connor is sticking up for himself and taking no shit. because he is a person a real life human being who deserves (like they ALL do) to be treated like his actual personal at home life matters. You do not sell your right to be human when you enter the NHL. and players like Manning do not gain the right to treat others less than. We want more players to bring up homophobic and sexist language that’s on the ice? well let’s start here. 

i don’t care if it’s “hockey” because this shit is wrong and things don’t change if you don’t get pissed about them. and to the people who are trying to say “well people aren’t being nice to manning either” yes he doesn’t deserve some of the gross hate he’s gotten. but that’s a separate issue. there’s a different space to talk about that. 

I’m destined to forever be a pauper.

Since I graduated college 4 years ago, I’ve only been able to make 5 payments on my student loans. And those payments were only a couple hundred dollars (if that) because that’s all I could afford at that time. And those were times when I was doing alright financially.

To add to this, if I put every cent I have right now toward my student loans, it would barely cover 13% of the total loan. There’s a reason I’m not doing well physically, mentally, and financially.

So keep this in mind when you’re looking into colleges and thinking about taking out loans. A lot of people don’t talk about how rough it can be. And with the resources available online these days, there are a lot cheaper options. Think through all your options before you make a final decision!

Don’t. Please don’t.

Please don’t tweet Norman or Talking Dead “desus” questions?? Please let’s have some class. Please ask him thoughtful questions about his character. Please don’t reduce his character’s value to that of a romantic interest while disregarding what he’s going through ATM. It’s too early for desus/darus to really go canon in a way that makes sense and that’s ok. I realize it’s going to be a very exciting episode for fans of the pair and I hope to see the fandom enjoying it without going too apeshit. I know this post is mainly preaching to the choir; I’ve met nothing but first class polite and friendly people here, but there’s also been a huge increase in members and there are some troubling tweets going out to the cast already, and also inflammatory remarks directed at fans of other characters/ships.

If you want to tweet questions, think of something. Think. Something thoughtful. Ask him how Daryl’s attitude has shifted while in captivity. Ask him what, if anything, has given Daryl hope. Ask him how his reunion with his family and how he is welcomed back or forgiven might change his approach in this world. Ask him how he feels about ____, if he misses ____, if the group was uprooted where he’d lead them next? Please, ask him any number of things that have nothing to do with the ship, flood them with great questions, so that nothing cringeworthy gets on the air unless the directors REALLY want it to!

If you want to ask about his relationship with Jesus, you could ask about whether or not Daryl trusts him at this point, or what Jesus would have to do to further that trust. Does he see any potential to learn from him as a fighter or work together? Is making new friends going to be difficult for him? I mean, their group has been isolated for so long. Rick also played a part in bringing Jesus to Alexandria; why, when it came to Jesus, did Rick have to remind Daryl of his own morality? 

Please. I love this ship because I love BOTH the characters and their actors. Please just support them without harassing the writers or making the cast uncomfortable with lewd questions. There’s no need to draw their attention to this fandom atm; I think there’s a genuine potential for them to become close in the future and I would hate to taint that or jinx it by coming on too strong, you know? If anything we’ve seen that the writers will retaliate against fans who are rude and demanding.  

I love you all and you give me LIFE, please let’s not shit ourselves just yet. 

this is a rant explaining why I think Yurio x Otabek is okay and my annoyances with people against it. read at your own risk.

OH LOOK AN OPINION:

I don’t understand the whole “You can’t ship Yurio with Otabek! He’s 15!” thing because when tf did I say I wanted them to have underaged sex?? There’s a difference between having sex and dating romantically ya weirdos.

I’ve known so many people who dated younger than 15 in high school. That is perfectly fine without sex. It is legal too lmao.
Also, the age of consent changes everywhere. Where I am from (Canada), it is 16.
Considering Yurio is 15 rn and it’s December in the show, he’d be 16 in March, his birthday. Otabek and Yurio seem like they would take time to form a relationship, even longer than 3 months, which is when Yurio would be able to consent. So, them dating rn wouldn’t even be problematic because by the time they are ready for sex, Yurio is old enough to consent.
That’s just for 16 consent age too. If consent is older somewhere like 18, I’m sure that Otabek would wait cause he seems like a nice, calm dude. (Ugh can’t believe I gotta write this out for fictional characters too. JFC Tumblr. w/e it’s been bothering me for a while)

This is something that just annoys me on tumblr like “you can’t ship them!! too young!! and 3 year age gap ew!!” But then y'all be like “if it’s two consenting adults, it’s ok!!” Like ok I agree with that but, you are a complete hypocrite if you go “3 years are too much!!” one second and then say a 25 year old can have sex with a 40 year old the next. What is this logic and reasoning??
Yes, both parties should be legally consenting but don’t pull this shit like “oh 3 years is too much” but then say “15 years is fine if they’re old enough.”
Just saying “Hey that’s underage so no” is fine, because one or more members cannot consent. Why the hell is the age gap brought in??
Yuuri and Viktor have a 4 year gap and that’s fine, but you guys are disgusted with 3 years for Otabek and Yurio even when it’s aged up. (I seriously don’t get this, if anyone wants to explain it to me, feel free.)

To summarize: I ship Yurio and Otabek romantically. That is legally okay. I think that they should have sex when they can both consent (which varies on location).
I do not like y'all pulling this shit of “it is gross because he’s too young” because that only applies to sex. It doesn’t address romantic feelings at all which is at the core of every ship. In conclusion, please keep your negative bullshit away from a ship, especially when you’re not considering the age of consent in locations besides your own. And please simply say something is underaged (which is the real issue) rather than saying there’s an age gap (because that doesn’t apply when they’re older).

Ginny x Mike 1x10: Switching Positions

Both on and off the field, professionally and personally, Ginny and Mike relationship developed a nice balance, an equal and respectful balance of signaling and responding, of call and answer, of pro-acting and re-acting. Professionally, it is Mike’s job to give the sign to Ginny and for Ginny to react to it—to throw the pitch he called for. Their personal relationship, their potential romantic relationship has worked much the same way: where Mike would set the boundaries, would initiate their intimacy—both emotionally and physically, and Ginny would respond to it, returning his intimacy in equal measure.

Ten episodes in, what we forget is that their relationship didn’t start that way. They didn’t start  doing this smooth dance, in partnership and in-sync with each other. No, they had to talk it out and feel it out and establish an intimate place between the mound and home plate. It is the same with their in-limbo romantic relationship. They have learn the signs they give each other,  learn to trust each other emotionally, and figure out who’s going to be the one to give the sign and who’s going to be the one to respond to it. And, unlike last week (x), Ginny and Mike have switched their natural positions: Establishing Ginny as the one who will call the shots in their personal/romantic relationship, leaving Mike to respond to them while Mike will be the one to call the shots on the field.

Which is beyond perfect.

Though in the meantime, while their figuring out their positions in their personal relationship, Ginny and Mike are going to miss a few signs and throw a few bad pitches, as they learn to do this intimate dance with each other—much the same way they did in the pilot (parallels, anyone?). So, when:

Mike signals: About last night, we don’t need to…
Ginny responds: No! No, definitely not. (Off-balance: they’re both lying)

Ginny signals: I’m doing a interview with your ex-wife today
Mike responds: Yeah, no, I know, I talked to the producer about you (Off-balance: they’re mixing the professional side with the personal one)

Mike signals: He’s frozen at the sight of Ginny and Rachel togetherBut: I’m good
Ginny responds: Then I’m good too. (off-balance: they’re both in emotional hell)

Ginny signals: She’s melting into another man’s embrace.  
Mike responds: Nice, Balker! Good for you. And walks away. (off-balance: they. are. in. emotional. hell.)

Mike signals: I thought we didn’t need to talk about that.
Ginny responds: I didn’t think so either. (off-balance: Congratulations you two idiots are in sync with your out-of-sync-ness)

Ginny signals: But maybe we should.
Mike responds: About what? How two teammates went out for a drink… (off-balance: They were actually two people starting to seriously fall for each other. COME. ON.)

Ginny signals: That’s what happened?
Mike responses: That’s what happened. (off-balance: Yeah—you two are doing your in-sync with your out-of-sync-ness thing again. Isn’t it tiring? ‘cuz both of you look pretty tired of it)

Mike signals: The pitching calls
Ginny responses: With great pitches (Perfect balance)

Ginny signals: Pitches 4 balls in a row
Mike responds: Running to the mound (Balance: while Mike thinks it’s a personal issue and Ginny thinks it a professional issue—it’s both)

Mike signals: You want to talk let’s talk. You were right.
Ginny responds: Shut up. (off balance: Mike is addressing their in-limbo relationship. Ginny is avoiding it.)

Ginny Signals: I Throw the ball. I give the speeches. And I decide if you and I are gonna talk about what happened the other night. Not you. And decided we’re not, by the way, because we’re teammates. And as long as we’re teammates, that’s how it’s gonna be.
Mike Responds: Fine by me. (Perfect Balance: They are addressing their professional relationship and their personal one—totally implying their status personal relationship WILL change when they’re no longer teammates.)

Ginny ❤️  Mike Forever

Here's the truth

Some of our faves are problematic. Being a true fan is acknowledging those problems and not allowing them to abscond with it. Sometimes it shapes the way you know view this person. Whether that means you stay a fan or not, is completely your prerogative. But you have to recognize that they aren’t saints, and they certainly are not martyrs. Everyone is human. Mistakes will be made, feelings will be hurt, childish actions are sometimes taken, and immature words can be spoken. You don’t necessarily have to forgive, and you certainly don’t have to forget, but again, that is completely and one hundred percent up to you as a fan. As long as you recognize their faults as well as their accomplishments, you’re good to go.

People seem to have really mixed feelings about this American version of SKAM. I thought I’d add my thoughts on the matter.

The idea of it, is cool. As an American I agree that we need more shows like SKAM. Shows that encourage finding common ground in the face of diversity, girl power, and all around progressive views! Sign me the fuck up!!

Here’s the problem:

We aren’t Norway.

We are a country that just elected a known sexual predator who has been endorsed by the KKK.

We are a country founded in capitalism that refuses to veer away from this ideal of money and power over love and peace.

Until we face these issues and completely uproot our discriminatory system that doesn’t give a fuck about minorities, the poor, transgender folks, and women, a show like SKAM cannot authentically exist and would just be another money making scheme disguised as something progressive.

THAT’S MY PROBLEM WITH THIS ADAPTATION.

America needs to stop being so ethnocentric and deal with its shit show of a country instead of pretending we’re all living the American Dream.

i’ve forgiven so much that’s it’s making me bitter because i’ve forgotten to let go and now there’s rope burns on my hands and i am bleeding and i am bitter and i am tired of spitting out forgiveness when i can barely muster up enough courage to tell someone they have hurt me. sometimes people tell me i have hurt them and it stings. every time i hear how i’ve wronged someone it’s another light going off in my skyscraper body. i don’t want my building to go dim but i am so tired of people walking all over me and i know there’s not a thing i’d do differently because id rather be a door matt than someone who hurts anyone else but i hate it. i hate it so fucking much.

Pitch’s Ship OTP: Bawson FTW

So, it was always going to be Mike x Ginny. Destiny. Fate. Writers’ rooms. Actors’ chemistry. Fandom response–Mike and Ginny were written to end up together. It’s rare and quite amazing that the writers, producers, and actors would all share the shipping plans for the show with us and be open with it. But, let’s be clear, we knew from the 1x01 and Ginny and Mike (basically) agreed in 1x09 that Once they are no longer teammates, they’re totally ending up together OTP style: with a chessy ending flash-forward scene of walking into the sunset (or off the ball field) with a kids and a dog and a smile and a kiss.

Because:

  • She’s his legacy 
  • His speech started her successful MLB career
  • Because he asks her to trust her
    • And she did
  • Because she asked him to dance
    • And his life changed when he didn’t
  • They can communicate in actions, words, or silence
    • And understand each other better than anyone else. 
  • They have an inexplicable ability to know what’s going on underneath the surface for the other
    • And know how to give each other what they in the moment.
  • As they work through the same struggles individually, the more they will understand themselves—and thus the other person.
    • Hello? Parallel emotional journeys? Totally soulmates.
  • Because they fell in love with each other without even realizing it.
    • And couldn’t wait long to act on their feelings.
  • Because their game code seamlessly translates into an emotional code. 
    • And thus they have a built in, unbreakable trust with each other.
  • As her catcher, Mike is literally at home plate, and metaphorically Ginny’s home–he’s home in her heart, and he’s also a home for Ginny–a place where she can find warmth and safety and love. 
  • As his pitcher, timing is her thing. She has to decide when to pitch and when to make her move. And Mike gives her time. 
  • Because (as long as their teammates) Ginny will be the one to call the shots in their romantic relationship while Mike will be the one to call the shots on the field.
    • Which is beyond perfect.
  • Because, okay? Ginny ❤️  Mike forever.

While browsing a random tumblr blog last week, I came across a series of tweet screenshots of a man justifying women’s overt fear of men. Other than it being a sweeping, fearmongering generalization (and obviously sexist), it tugged at me in a way that wouldn’t leave me alone. Something about it made it more personal than I thought it should have.

Then it hit me. It hurt me because men I love and adore who help women, and others that I do not know yet do the same, were just thrown under the bus. Women who could have benefited from being shown this reality were being hurt as well!

Do you know what my husband has gone through with me to help me heal from my sexual assault? Far more than some fucker with a twitter account. Do you know how much my male friends stand up against violence on women? Far more than some boy feminist looking for some progressive points. Do you know how hard male investigators work to find the rapist? How much hell male family members go through with their daughters who were hurt??? How much male victims of abuse and assault have to hide and bury because of “fearing men and blaming them is totally justified!” BS agenda?

You get the point. And I am sooo sick of it. I am so sick of blame being assigned to a single gender and carrying it around as a legit talking point. I want to stand side by side with good men - whether as “allies” or fellow victims -, hold them up, and let the world know that fear only leads to hate and won’t help the human condition.

Your inflammatory tweets aren’t going to do that, so keep that garbage away from me.

I’m just so amazed by Shawn i can’t even put how i feel towards him into words. Like the amount of passion he pours into his music and performances (especially Ruin and Mercy) is immeasurable. Each time he goes out onto that stage my jaw is on the floor, amazed by him. He is literally just playing guitar on stage but he has such a great stage presence. he doesn’t need dancers or crazy stage props. its just him, his voice, and his guitar (and his band). Also, he can play a show with 10,000+ people but still emotionally connect with each and every one of them. That is something most people can’t do but at only 18 years old he seems to do it effortlessly. He is so raw up on stage, showing every little piece of him as he gets lost while singing a song and those are the best parts. Shawn Mendes has just started and its scary how much this guy can already do. He will truly be a legend in the future and I’m glad to say i was here to witness it all. Im so proud of him and it can only go up from here.