the-prince-of-peace

We don’t give Christ all these nicknames just because they sound good. They actually mean something. He truly is the Son of Man. He truly is the Prince of Peace. He truly is Mighty in Battle. King of Kings. Healer. God With Us. The Almighty. Wisdom. Power. Friend. The Way The Truth & The Life. Christ is all these things and abundantly more. These are not just empty logos. He is the great “I am.”

Pink Pooka is done for my portfolio. Now to finish Merrilee Boopkins!

The Pink Pooka Prince lives on a small peaceful world filled with teatime and monsters (nice monsters) While the quiet and calm suits their shy nature they also look to the sky and wonder what other worlds and dimensions lie out in the reaches of the cosmos. Good thing they have a good friend who just happens to be able to open portals to all sorts of wondrous and terrifying places.

Pink Pooka Prince ©merrimonster, thefairygodmonster (June VanOtterdyk)
DO NOT REPOST THIS TO OTHER SITES PLEASE. 

4

“I used to have seizures when I was young. My mother and father didn’t know what to do or how to handle it, but they did the best they could with what little they had. My mother told me one day I walked into her and said, ‘Mom, I’m not going to be sick anymore,’ and she said ‘Why?’ and I said, ‘Because an angel told me so.’ Now, I don’t remember saying it, that’s just what she told me.“ 

- Prince

You know what’s great about fairy tales that haven’t been made into Disney movies?  How completely bullshit they are.  Like, if it’s a popular enough fairy tale that it’s gotten its own movie, a lot of the completely random-seeming shit has probably been excised from that version.  If it’s just been left to molder since people stopped drinking beer for breakfast, started being able to read on a massive scale, and learned how not to give themselves ergot poisoning every winter…well, it might just sound like something a sleep-deprived kindergartener made up.


“Here, dearest sister, take this vial of water.  If it turns cloudy, you’ll know I’m sick.  If it turns red as blood, you’ll know I’m dead.”

“This is a very useful thing, dearest brother, as reliable post hasn’t been invented yet, and you’re going to just wander around until you make your fortune.  I have only one question.”

“Yes?”

“Where the hell did you get this?”

“What?”

“Where did you get a vial of water that magically knows if you’re sick or dead?  Like, did you just pick it up at the market?  Did you have to go see a witch?  How much did you pay for this?  The whole reason you’re leaving is that we’re fucking broke.”

“I just…it was just lying around.”

“What, in the attic?”

“I guess?”

“Why would we have a vial of water that can tell if you’re sick or dead just lying around in the attic?”

“I don’t know.  Maybe we can ask those animals that tricked the robbers out of their cabin in the woods.  They seem to know what they’re doing.”

“The animals…that tricked the robbers…out of their cabin.”

“Yes.”

“I hate this town.”


“Young man, if you let me sit by your fire, I’ll give you a sack of gold that can never be emptied.”

“Why would you be just wandering around alone dressed like a beggar if you have a sack of gold that can never be emptied?”

“I just…am.  Fuck you.  You want the sack or not?  Because I am dog tired, and freezing cold, and offering you a magic money-sack if I can just take a load off.”

“This is the sort of magic sack that’s going to make me really happy for like six weeks and then I’m going to get murdered in my sleep by trolls, isn’t it?”

“…yes.  Do you want it or not?”

“What the hell, with plague going around again, I’m probably not going to live more than another few months, anyway.”

“That’s the sort of can-do spirit murder-trolls love to see!”

“What?”

“Nothing.”


“Young lady, I’m very hungry, won’t you please share your bread with me?”

“Shit.  Are you the sort of stray dwarf I’m supposed to help, or are you going to murder me unless I start hitting you with a stick right now?”

“…what?”

“Those are my two options, right?  I mean, I can’t just say nah, I only have enough for me, and keep on walking.  I have to either feed you or beat the hell out of you.  So which is it?  I don’t want to get magic-murdered for picking wrong.  The last person you turned into a stone or a goat or whatever, what’d they do?”

Why is every traveler on this road so fucking weird?  I just want a hunk of bread, lady.“

“So you’re not magic?”

“Oh, well.  Yeah, of course I’m magic.”

“But you’re not going to do anything magic right now.”

“Are you on some bizarre quest to marry a prince even though you have absolutely no idea how to run a kingdom?”

“No, of course not.  Jesus.”

“Then–”

“I’m trying to figure out how to turn my seven brothers from dead swans back into humans permanently.”

“Your brothers were turned into dead swans.”

“I mean, I don’t really mind, because they transform back into men at night, but my fiance won’t get married until the mill’s courtyard isn’t full of dead swans all day.  He thinks it’s gruesome.”

“Why would anyone turn your brothers into dead swans?”

“We think the local witch was just trying to turn them into swans.  Or maybe kill them.  She was on a bender, so she can’t really remember.”

“Okay, but why?”

“My brothers were kind of dicks, before they got stuck as dead swans all day.“

“I can’t believe I’m saying this, but if you give me half your bread, I’ll tell you how to turn them back into people full-time.”

“Why are you being so nice all the sudden?”

“Because I now really need a beer, and I hate drinking on an empty stomach.”


“Young woman, who is coincidentally very beautiful and very virtuous even though you grew up very poor in a time when that very well may have meant chronic malnutrition and seeing family members literally die of hunger, you may have the hand of the prince in marriage if you can lift his curse.”

“Okay, yeah, I’m pretty sure I can do that.  I’ve got some good fairies backing me up, and also half the animal kingdom.”

“That’s very impressive.”

“Yeah, I did a lot of really random stuff and went vegan for a while, and now apparently everything under the sun owes me.“

“Well, you’ll enjoy your time as a princess, then!”

“Well, before we do that, I thought maybe we should talk about why the curse was put on him in the first place.  Maybe you could tell me who did it, and why, and if we know where they are now.  Maybe we could sort of come up with a plan for dealing with them.  You know, after I break the curse.”

“Why would we do that?”

“Well, somebody sort of turned the prince into a giant fish and made it so fishermen can’t stop trying to catch him, so it seems like they might just try something else if we undo that.  I want to be ready.”

“Nonsense.  This curse was a one-time thing.”

“The witch still lives like right next door, yes?”

“Yes, but she’s calmed down a lot since she did this.”

“She just turned a guy into a newt last week.”

“But she likes us now.”

“Not enough to undo the curse, though.”

“Well, no.”

“So, we should probably have a plan, right?”

“Nooooooo?”

“Okay, I’m going to keep walking until I find an enchanted prince with more sensible parents.  Peace out, your majesties.”