the-only-person-who-never-left-him

I just had a new realization for this wood splitting scene. Tony says “That would end the team! Isn’t that the mission? Isn’t that the why we fight? So we can end the fight, so we get to go home?” Steve then splits the wood out of frustration. Steve NEVER gets to go home. He throws himself in the fight to stay occupied and not have to REALLY think about the fact that he can never go back. He won’t have to REALLY think about all that he missed. He has no place out of the soldier scene. That’s where he will always belong and the idea of them no longer needing him to fight scares him, because he needs them. When everyone else goes home, who does he really have? No one. His home is long gone along with everyone that went with it. The only person he has left has no idea who he is.

Rec: The Novelty Maker

Title: The Novelty Maker
Author: Sasha L. Miller
Format: Short story
Published/Free: Free
Length: 64 pages
Status: Complete
Rating: Teen
Warnings: None
Link: https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/276149
Summary: Harlowe is a maker of small mechanical gizmos - novelties meant to amuse the wealthy. Scarred on the left side of his face, Harlowe is never seen without his leather mask or his prickly demeanor. The only person who has managed to get close to him is Cole. Cole is utterly in love with the enigmatic engineer, but even he can’t seem to breach all of Harlowe’s walls.  

Review: This is an engaging, friends-becoming-more story with a charming steampunk (clockwork-punk?) setting.

Enemies To Lovers (2) Masterlist

Alliance - earthtowhiskers

Summary: Dan and Phil grow closer in their fight to survive. Together, they struggle to unite their clans against a common threat.

At The Great Divide - phantasticalities

Summary: Phil Lester never imagined he’d be needed by Dan Howell. He’s the boy who has hated him for years, the boy that’s always interested Phil but has lived in the secrecy of the wobbly home next door. Dan, the boy with nothing left, the boy with osteosarcoma.

Case Closed - notanannoyingfangirl

Summary: Dan and Phil are lawyers, and sometimes their cases against each other get a little too…. heated.

Condemned - phandabbydosey

Summary: Kind hearted Phil Lester has never so much slapped another person, but he finds himself locked away for the murder of his brother. He’s innocent, but no one will believe him, not when the only DNA on the murder weapon is his own. Phil struggles to come to terms with life in prison, though perhaps a familiar - albeit unwelcome - face from his high school days will help ease the transition.

I Didn’t Know - philstriker

Summary: Dan and Phil absolutely hate each other. They’re always at each other’s throats, throwing vicious insults and cold glares. But the thing is, they’ve never hit each other, not once. Until one day, Dan decides to throw the first punch.

Lester’s Reading Dandelion - wanabewriter

Summary: In the heart on London, there lies a bookshop owned by Phil Lester. Lester’s Books & Bagels is a thriving little place until another bookshop opens up across the street.

Look Who’s Crying Now - phantastic-day

Summary: AU where Dan and Phil are in a health class and they somehow get paired up together to be partners in a fake baby project but plot twist, they really don’t get along and have learn how to get along and fall in love.

Notifications - notanannoyingfangirl & insanityplaysfics

Summary: Indie movie actor, Phil Lester hadn’t meant to get under Dan Howell’s skin. In fact, they could both had could never have even dreamed of meeting other. So when a shitstorm erupts over twitter claiming that they’re a couple (who knows how that rumor started) and their agents desire to take advantage of the attention to launch a movie featuring the two of them… well the could both be happier.

Paintball - constipatedhowell

Summary: two paintball teams, Dan and Phil are enemies, they end up hiding behind the same barricade and things go down.

The Next Best Thing - interrupted-by-fireworks

Summary: Everyone in the world has matching numbers to find their soulmate.

Though Kid You’re Not Exactly A Dream Come True - pianoboyhowell

Summary: The moment Dan is told about his piano lessons, he hates the idea. And the plethora of dread and embarrassment takes the form of Phil Lester; fellow student and, now, arsehole teacher. The fact that Dan can’t control his fingers as they splatter across the keys just gives Phil more reason to spit out insults, and Dan just wants to get it right; maybe that’ll wipe the smirk off his face. And as the music starts to lead, Dan finds himself down paths he never thought possible.

Under The Mistletoe - holysmokesphan

Summary: It’s no secret that Dan and Phil hate each other, everybody knows it, including their own families. But now, It’s the holiday’s time, and a Christmas party is being thrown at the Lester’s house, and of course… Dan’s family has been invited. Dan’s being forced to go, even though he clearly doesn’t want to but his mother doesn’t care. The night quickly changes when Dan and Phil get stuck under a mistletoe.

Vodka And Caramel - japan-phan

Summary: enemies-to-fuck buddies fic.

Why You? || Introductory Para

Sebastian Smythe had never been one of the nicest guys in the world, everyone that; he was an asshole who wasn’t afraid to tell you how it was and if you didn’t like it, too bad. The truth hurts sometimes. But after everything had happened with Blaine, he was genuinely trying to show that he wasn’t always this asshole, that he could be a nicer person towards people. In all honesty it was his way of having a shield, after his mom left when he was only little he had never been able to get close to anyone because he always feared that if he got too close, they would abandon him too and in his eyes it was easier to just push people away rather than get his hopes up. Sebastian had even moved back to Paris with his dad for a year, wanting to just get away from Ohio so he could focus on himself and his family; it hard not knowing where he truly belonged, but he eventually found his way and came back with a fresh start. 

However what he never expected was to get sick during that year, he had random muscle spasms in his fingers and weakness in his right arm; he of course had a number of tests and was frighteningly diagnosed with ALS. The news struck hard and as soon as he got home he just spent the day cuddled up in his father’s arms, they didn’t have the best relationship but they needed one another more than anything at this point. That diagnosis was only a week ago, he’s trying to move forward and he wants to be comfortable throughout all of it, so both himself and his father had started the process of trying to find a carer that he could get to know, could become comfortable with before they actually needed to start helping him with everyday tasks. Sebastian didn’t want to feel awkward during his most vulnerable moments and luckily his father understood that. So here they were, getting ready to interview more people, getting ready to give each person a trial run to see what they can and cannot do. It was a tiring process, but they both knew it would soon become beneficial.

It was a bright and sunny Monday morning, Sebastian had gotten himself washed and dressed and was currently rolling his eyes as his father insisted on buttoning up his shirt and doing everything else that he was sure his son would now need help doing. “Dad, my right arm might not be as strong as it used to, but I can still button up my shirt, zip up my jeans and put on my socks and shoes. It- it just takes a little extra time, that’s all.” He declared softly, looking into the mirror and using his stronger hand to fix his hair into place before his dad coated it in hairspray for him. “Thanks…” The younger boy mumbled, knowing that was coming next considering they went through this every morning. 

Sebastian’s father scooped him into his arms bridal style and carried him down the flight of stairs, sitting him comfortably on the couch in the living room and going to get him his bowl of chopped up fruit and his protein shake for him. The nutrition in his diet was now crucial and the older man always made sure his son was aware of the complications he could put himself in if he didn’t take the extra caution. “The first applicant sound be here soon.” The former Warbler said to his father with a smile, happily eating his fruit while he kept a close listen for the doorbell. Sure he acted happy and excited now, but he was honestly terrified because it could be anybody and he had to spend the day with them when his dad would head to work.

Unreal

An old crumbling building
A dimly lit room
A disheveled bed
Yoongi was laying

With an outstretched arm to the side he stared on the empty space in the bed. He tried grasping something but there was only air. He never touched the place you slept in, he could not bear to erase the only memory he had left of you. Where were you? Where was the girl he gave his heart to? Where was the person who said that he had a special place in her heart?

Right.

You left.

You left him.

“Fuck you!” He screamed into nothingness. Frustration and sadness were flowing through his veins as he willed himself not to cry. So this was how being played with felt like. His thoughts were only occupied by confusion. The only feeling he had was of his heart being cut in half. But why? Why couldn’t he let go?
He felt the soft tip of the pillow on his fingers to force himself to focus his attention elsewhere.

But memories of you began clouding his mind.

When you first kissed.

When you first said you loved him.

When you’d lay on his lap and talked about everything.

And…

When you told him you didn’t feel anything

“Yoongi…” You said as he opened the door, he stepped out to hug you but you stopped him.
“Y/N? Is there a problem?” The uneasy look on your face fueled Yoongi’s worry.
A deep breath, that was what you did before you spoke the words that would finally end this.
“I don’t love you”
He started laughing. He thought this was a joke because the idea was ridiculous. A glare from you said otherwise.
“I only needed someone to take my mind off things. It wasn’t supposed to get this far so I’m stopping it”
What was it that Yoongi felt? Anger? Sadness? He didn’t know. He grabbed you and kissed you but you pushed him away.
“Stop” Was the last word you said then you turned your back to leave.
He grabbed your wrist and you sighed at his actions. You regretted why you took playing with him too far.
Facing him you spoke up “If you’re going to ask me to look you in the eye and repeat what I said then ok…

I don’t love you”

You pulled your wrist out and walked out. Yoongi didn’t stop you. He saw truth in your eyes as you said those bitter words. He couldn’t speak anymore.
He silently whispered as he watched you walk away “I need you”

Yoongi punched the headboard multiple times with gritted teeth. Why did he have to remember it again? Opening his knuckles, he saw the purple stained knuckles, he didn’t care though, it was just physical pain. Who would even care?
Words and emotions suddenly flowed through his mind and he started to rap, which was one of the things he was passionate in doing

“Because of you, I’m becoming ruined
I wanna stop, I don’t want you anymore
I can’t do it, this sucks”

He stopped, and just frowned.

Getting up from the bed he grabbed a container of gasoline

Poured it on the bed

Lit it up with a lighter
Everything started to burn as he just stood there.
“It’s better this way, I have nothing to—-
-
-
-
-
-
Yoongi sat up with a panicked look strewn across his pale white skin. His breathing was heavy and erratic, his heart racing.
He reached for you in the bed but you weren’t there
"Y/N!” He called out. Was his dream coming true? No it couldn’t.
When he didn’t hear your voice responding to him he got out of the bed to look for you.
“Y/N! Where are you?” Just as he was about to grab the doorknob it opened and you stepped in.
“Y/N!” He hugged you tightly as tears started to flow from his eyes.
“Yoongi are you crying?” You asked as you stroked your boyfriend’s hair. You looked at him, you saw that he was indeed doing what you thought. You wiped the tears off his face and fixed his hair.
“Ya, why are you becoming a crybaby? You never cry” Instead of answering he grabbed both your hands and stared at you intensely.
“You’ll never leave me right? You love me right?” Question that caught you off guard. Why was he acting this way?
“Y/N please” He pleaded and it was filled with much desperation that it scared you.
You removed your hands from his grasp and placed the on his neck. Leaning in you, placed your forehead on his “Yoongi, I love you too much to leave you. Please don’t doubt that. You’re my man and I wouldn’t want any other girl to have you” You finished off with a peck on his lips.
A sigh of relief escaped his lips. He placed his hands on your waist and hugged you. “That dream isn’t real I’m sure of it now. It just seemed so real that I lost you”
“It’s not Yoongi, I’m here right?”
“I know. I love you” And he carried you back to the bed so he could cuddle and forget about the horrible nightmare.
(If you noticed I based it from the I Need U mv bc while watching the original version I got Yoongied af and I got scenario writing feels so yay I guess?)

to consider:
  • gay af, buffy with a bit of tummy fat trans boy bokuto, being insecure about his gender, but then starting to feel good about it, not without konoha’s, akaashi’s and kuroo’s help
  • grey aroace dark skinned akaashi, finding out that he can like not only one person, but three at the same time and being totally comfortable with being with them
  • poly pansexual, half colombian half japanese konoha, who was in a unhealthy poly relationship in high school where two other ppl pretty much didn’t care about him, being scared of falling in love, but then actually falling in love with people who deeply care about him and who love him back, and never feeling left out ever again
  • genderfluid pansexual kuroo, being in denial about his sexual orientation and trying to not to think that sometimes he feels like he’s not a guy at all, but then finding people who help him feel good about who he is and finally accepting himself 

I understand that racism is a big problem in our society today, but people need to stop saying that it’s the reason behind every comment we make. I have never made snide remarks about zayn’s race, and I’d really appreciate it if people stopped assuming that all white people are racist.
I lost respect for Zayn after he left the band because he made the choice to say he wanted to lead a normal life but is choosing to go solo. He started talking shit on the people who got him to where he is today, simply because they don’t like the person he’s been hanging around. I don’t agree with that. Louis never made a comment about Zayn. it was only about Naughty Boy, yet Zayn stepped in and trash talked Louis, which I don’t agree with. If any of the others did that I would call them problematic too. ITS. NOT. WHITE. SUPREMACY. it’s knowing where you started and who helped your career and treating them well, which he wasn’t doing.

biorhythmicadaar Garth!!! (It’s an artists version of Hawke but the more I look at it the more I think of Garth at his current age. Sorry artist I can’t credit you I didn’t log your name :/)
Garth is Nora’s best friend and occasional fuckbuddy. He was born to the same werewolf village Nora lived in but he was born about 15 years after she left. (When they meet he’s 16 and she’s 135). They met while he was running for his life from pursuers trying to drag him back to the werewolf village. When they first encountered each other she assumed he was there to catch her so she pushed him against the walls of a stable and put a dagger go his throat (she’d never actually kill a werewolf so he wasn’t in any real danger). She figured out quickly what he was about since she was the only person had met who spoke the werewolf tongue. She offered to help him since he was in need and Nora would help a werewolf in need anytime. He clung to Nora throughout his early life. She taught him the common tongue as well as how to survive in this unfamiliar land. When he came of age his bestial nature began to rebel against him due to his less primal life choices. Nora had helped where she could but she wasn’t an actual werewolf herself so she could only do so much. He went to see a priest who believed he could purge enough of the demonic force that enslaved all werewolves so that Garth could live a peaceful life without being at war with himself. It quickly fell apart as it was discovered that the beast could not be purged without killing the host, however the ritual had already started and couldn’t be stopped. Nora stepped in and made a pact with the demonic force. She bond their souls together so that he could live without the demonic force while still maintaining his werewolf blood, but if one of them fell to wickedness then they both would. Later Garth met a lovely adventuring battle maiden named Kara who he joined the company of. They fell in love and got married. Leaving Nora for a time. He soon found however that while he shared a soul with Nora, he also shared eternal youth and immortality. He watched his wife die and that scarred him for some time. He resented Nora a great deal after that (she understood but didn’t like Kara that much so she felt bad for him not for her). A few centuries go by and Nora stumbles onto Garth living a carefree life working in a brothel and getting drunk a lot. She decided to buy him for a night and pretend she was a patron all the way up to him trying to get her into bed then she revealed herself freaked him out got a good laugh then they had a good chat and got on good terms again. Being immortal is taxing for them both so they occasionally have sex with eachother in casual ways and occasionally have relationship with eachother knowing that both are still deeply in love with their respective first loves. While he hates the crazy crap Nora gets him into he also loves it as it keeps life interesting.

Dark Nights // Declan & Nona

Ever since Declan had told Elliot the truth, somehow he only felt worse. That wasn’t Eli’s fault, but the weight he had been carrying on his shoulders for a year was killing him. The one person who definitely wasn’t his biggest fan was Nona, and he knew it. He had all but told her when he first came to the house, calling himself the crazy slut from Arizona and saying she’d never believe why he cheated on Elliot. Somewhere deep down Declan believed that he and Nona could actually move past this, so that only left him one option. He wanted to tell her. If Elliot trusted her, he could too. Maybe she’d learn to forgive him once she knew, and he knew there was a change she wouldn’t, but he had to try. After pacing back and forth outside of her room for a few minutes, he walked in and searched for her. He approached her hesitantly and sighed. “Hey…can we go somewhere and talk? I wouldn’t ask you if it wasn’t urgent.”

I used to think that I actually had an uncle named Sam who I’d just never met, and I always felt left out whenever I heard people talking about Uncle Sam because I thought that everyone else in America knew my uncle and I was the only person who’d never met him

anonymous asked:

Hey, so question, is your character Muslim? Because, aren't Muslims advised against alcohol or something? (No hate, just wondering!)

no, it’s okay!

uh, i made my aladdin an atheist, or rather, agnostic. he may be an arabian, but his views were different. considering he did not grow up in a well-off family, or rather, none at all. his father left him and his mother was captured by a group of bandits. he was basically alone. aladdin was also not the type of person who would follow rules or pay attention to laws, unless he tried to get away with things; like stealing. he’s more grounded than spiritual. he believes that there may be something or someone out there to help him, but in reality, he only has himself to rely on.

idk if that made sense??? i’m also basing on the fact he had never attended formal education. in the case of notapriize‘s group verse, aladdin’s a wannabe. he would risk anything to be accepted by society, especially with the royals. he wanted to live a life where he’s appreciated for who he truly is. not by his social status, nor by the rumours spread by his schoolmates.

I don’t hate that he left.
I hate that I’m starting to feel this bitter taste in my mouth again after trusting someone who let me down. I hate that my memory is so full of him, I hate that I can only see him. I can see him in my coffee, I can hear him humming songs, I can almost feel him lying beside me. But there’s nothing besides the numbness in my body.
He’ll never sing to me again.

maybe if i get it out, it’ll help me to accept the truth and get over it.

a fellow from my past reached out several months ago (shortly after i left joe), and we have been intermittently chatting here and there. once a month, if even that. brief little talks.

he recently expressed a desire to meet up one day and catch up in person. i said sure. there’s a bit of geographic distance between us, so i don’t know if (or when) this will actually happen.

there is no non-assholeish way for me to say it, but this guy is the only person i’ve ever been with who has ever left me (as opposed to me leaving them).

i was only “with” him for seven, maybe eight months in college (“with” in quotes because although we were exclusive, we never labeled ourselves as anything), but it took me almost two years to get over him.

he took me to the city once where we explored random places and saw the christmas tree at night and he took me to a surprise irish pub. he got me a CD of celtic women singing. he knew my obsession for ireland and did little things to please me. when i thought i was being academically dismissed from college he wrote me a letter that i still have (6 years later) tucked away.

it took me a long time to get over him, this person that (in my mind, at least) has been the only person to leave me. i’ve always been the one to leave, except with him.

when i see his name on my phone, i get jittery. when he said he’d like to meet up, i got flustered. my heart is actually accelerating just typing this and recounting everything.

but here’s the truth: i know he probably just wants a decent, reliable, backup hookup this summer.

there’s no other explanation. i’m not terribly close to his summer house. he hasn’t seen me in years. it would be very nice to catch up and chat and see how he’s been. but why would he want to see me or talk to me? he could have any girl he wants. he’s tall and handsome and hysterically funny. so why put forth the time and effort with someone you’ve already had when you can just go out and bring home a lovely girl from somewhere nearby?

i don’t get it. why start talking to me again? i’m not interested in just a hookup. i honestly wish i was, but i can’t. i get too wrapped up and possessive and territorial. he should know that. he knows me. i’m not down for casual whatever.

so why? fuckin fucking fuck. fuck.

i know i shouldn’t care. he’s part of my past and that’s where he should stay. shouldn’t let myself get worked up over him.

but i’m so fucking lonely hahaha this is gonna wind up poorly. oh well.

the pirate captain never knew her family or even knew who
gave birth to her.  they abandoned her, left her alone in the
woods.       the person who took care of her was the former
captain of the ship she now captained;    he raised her as if
she was his own,   teaching her everything about how to be
a pirate.                    after many years, she was a master at
sword-fighting,   & finding buried treasure. once he died, he
made her captain, & she never forgot him. 

her job today was to kidnap the princess of this kingdom, she
was worth more than any gold,            at least in the king and
queen’s eyes.   the only way she would give her back is if she
got the gold she deserved.  then she would get far away from
this kingdom,        not looking back. once her men brought the
princess,      she took a hard look at her. if she hadn’t seen so
many strange things while sailing the seas,     she would have
gasped, but she just stared at her, with wide eyes. 

          ‘ tell me, why do you look like me? is this some sort
            of spell you’re parents have done? ‘ 

Entry 6 (TFIOS) Feelings + Doubts + Opinions

At the end Gus died. I think it was better for him to die than that he continued living suffering, but Hazel was left devastated and that was not ok. I think that at the end Hazel gave Gus everything she had just because she was in love and also because she felt safe around him but we can not be humans who only depend in one person. I would like to quote of F. Scott Fitzgerald “And in the end, we were all just humans… Drunk on the idea that love, only love, could heal our brokenness.” I think this is a 100% real. Hazel never got confidence until she met him and that’s great because sometimes you need someone who supports you, but what happens after with her if he just left. We notice she was devastated and in the end I just wonder (if now that life has taken her motivation of a worthy life) if she is going back to her “I’m not enough” thoughts because in the beginning she thinks too much and feel so little because Gus was the only one avoiding her own destruction. Now that he will never come back I’m just struggling because Hazel will go back to her.
I loved The Fault in Our Stars but sometimes it was hard for me to get really involved. It might be mean but I don’t really feel that just  because you have a disease you have to be more sympathetic towards that person. I mean, fuck cancer not only because of that you can getting to the book because Will have problems and that just because you have a decision cannot be sympathetic. It was also hard to get into the novels because John Green is such a bad writer that you have to force yourself to read like seven pages to finally get to an interesting moment or a good quote and after that it’s another seven pages of just bullshit.

faceofeleven:

He closed his eyes and tilted his head forward, allowing the precious moment to sink in.

“Rose, can I ask you something?” He opened his eyes and gazed up at her. “I love you, and I know you return those feelings better than I ever can, but–”

He loosened his grip on the ladder. “I’m glad you love the Doctor in any body you see. That means universes to me. But as much as you love the Doctor, how much do you love me?”

He felt like he was doing himself injustice. Or worse: insulting her. “I only ask because I’m different than when we met. In obvious places, of course, but in some different, subtle ways, too. You know I’m not the same person who left you on the beach. Right?”

Rose looked at him and frowned.  “What do you mean?  I know you’re not the same man, you did something he never could.  You opened yourself up to me, you allowed yourself to love me without regret.”  She reached out to touch his face.

“You have changed, you’re different.  You have more experiences, time you spent without me..those experiences have shaped the man you are..is that what you mean?  I love you, I loved you then..but not as much as I do now.”  

She bit her lip. “Is that what you mean because if not, well, I’m at a loss..”  She tucked a bit of his dark hair that was sticking out behind his ear.