the-one-armed-man

no not so fast morty. you heard you’re mom, we’ve got adventures to go on morty. just you and me, and sometimes your sister and sometimes your mom. but never your father you wanna know why morty? because he crossed me. (ok take it easy rick, tha-that’s dark). oh it gets darker morty, welcome to the darkest years of our adventures. first thing that’s different, no more dad morty he threatened to turn me into government so i made him and the government go away. (ohhhh fuck). i’ve re-BURP-laced them both as the de facto patriarch of your family and your universe. your mom wouldn’t have accepted me if i came home without you and your sister, so now you know the real reason i rescued you. i just took over the family morty! and if you tell your mom or sister i said any of this i’ll deny it and they’ll take my side because im a hero morty. and now you’re gonna have to go do everything i say morty. forever! and i-i’ll-i’ll go out and find some more of that mulan szechuan teriyaki dipping sauce morty! anb-because that’s what this is all about morty! tha that’s my one armed man. i’m not driven by avenging my dead family morty, that was fake, i-i-im driven by finding that mcnugget sauce! i want the mulan mcnugget sauce morty! that’s my series arc morty! if it takes 9 seasons, i want my mcnugget. dipping sauce szechuan sauce morty! (what are you talking about rick!?) that’s wha-that’s what (what are you talking about??) gonna take us all the way to the end morty! season 9 9 more seasons until i get that dipping szechuan sauce. (what is that?!) for 97 more years morty (what are you talking about!?). i want that mcnugget dipping sauce morty!

  • Steven: Not so fast, Lars. You heard Garnet. We’ve got adventures to go on, Lars - just you and me - and sometimes Sadie and sometimes Lion, but never the Diamonds. You want to know why, Lars? Because they crossed me.
  • Lars: Okay, take it easy, Steven. T-T-That’s dark.
  • Steven: Oh, it gets darker, Lars. Welcome to the darkest year of our adventures. First thing that’s different - no more Diamonds, Lars.
  • Lars: Oh, geez.
  • Steven: I turned myself in to their government, but I made them and the government go away. I’ve replaced them all as the de facto matriarch of the universe, Lars. Beach City wouldn’t have accepted me if I came home without you, so now you know the real reason I rescued you. I just took over the galaxy, Lars, and if you tell the Cool Kids or the Gems I said any of this, I’ll deny it, You’re gonna deny it. because they’ll take my side because I’m a hero, Lars. And now you’re gonna have to go and do whatever I say, Lars, forever! And I’ll, I’ll go out and I’ll find some more of those Cookie Cats, Lars.
  • Lars: What are you talking about?
  • Steven: Because that’s what this is all about, Lars.
  • Lars: Cookie whats?
  • Steven: That’s my one-armed man! I’m not driven by clearing my mother’s name, Lars! That was fake. I-I-I’m driven by finding those Cookie Cats.
  • Lars: Cookie Cats?
  • Steven: I want those Cookie Cats, Lars! That’s my series arc, Lars.
  • Lars: What the heck?
  • Steven: If it takes nine seasons, I want my Cookie Cats, Lars.
  • Lars: What are you talking about, Steven?
  • Steven: That’s what’s gonna take us all the way to the end, Lars. Season Nine! Nine more seasons, Lars. Nine more seasons until I get those Cookie Cats. What is that? For 97 more years, Lars! I want those Cookie Cats, Lars.
10

I’ll See You Again In 25 Years - My Visit To The “Twin Peaks” Set In 1990

I’ve unearthed these pics of me as a goofy 12-year-old visiting the set of “Twin Peaks” in 1990. My mom won a raffle at my LA elementary school where the prize was to visit the set - they were shooting the beginning of Season 2 at the time, and they had moved their location from the Pacific Northwest to sound stages in Burbank, CA, where they had re-created all of the iconic “Twin Peaks” locations. The most surreal thing was that often the sets were built side-by-side, so I was able to step directly from One Eyed Jacks into Benjamin Horne’s office into Laura Palmer’s living room. The locations seen here are: Harold the meals-on-wheels hermit’s house (with Donna, Maddy and Harold), me with Mike the One Armed Man, The Double R Diner, Laura Palmer’s living room, One Eyed Jacks, the sheriff department’s jail, the piano in Donna’s living room, Benjamin Horne’s desk, a booth at the Roadhouse, and Josie Packard’s living room. On the day I visited, they were shooting the scene of Harold scratching his face menacingly with the rake - it adds a bit of amusing context to know that while Harold was raking his face, this funny-lookin’ kid was watching from off-camera! - Michael Lucid

matt murdock is the only person allowed to use the line ‘justice is blind’
I-I-I’ll go out and I’ll find some more of that MULAN SZECHUAN TERIYAKI DIPPING SAUCE, Veronica! … Because that’s what this is all about, Veronica! That’s my one-armed man! I’m not driven by the death of my mom, Veronica, that was FAKE! I’m driven by finding that McNugget sauce! I want that MULAN MCNUGGET SAUCE, Veronica! That’s my movie arc, Veronica! If it takes nine acts, I want my McNugget dipping sauce szechuan sauce, Veronica! That’s what’s gonna take us all the way Veronica. N-nine more acts, Veronica! Nine more acts until I get that dipping szechuan sauce! Only 97 more years, Veronica! I want that McNugget sauce, Veronica!
—  JD

anonymous asked:

What if the old school Cap comics existed in the MCU/current Marvel universe. They took liberties with Bucky's youth. Made him a masked kid. Bucky LOVES IT the first time Nat shows him the comics. He has a bunch of pages from them tacked to his walls. He hands out the panel of him riding a tank with "die n*zi scum" written on it to people on the streets.

By the time the comic makes its way round to Bucky, all the other Commandos are snickering, and Bucky gets a sinking feeling.

“What is it,” he says, not even a question. It’s pure resignation.

Dum Dum points to a panel where Captain America, looking particularly dashing, holds the hand of - a small child? In a costume? The fuck?

“It’s you,” Dum Dum says, mustache twitching. Bucky’s jaw drops.

Steve is laughing so hard he’s crying, shoulders shaking with the force of it, and Bucky would be more pissed off if it wasn’t such a lovely sound.

“Are you eight goddamn feet tall or am I a literal baby,” Bucky demands, feeling betrayed, especially when Steve flaps a hand at the panel and wheezes, “Role reversal,” which only sets him off again and makes Bucky put his head in his hands with a groan.


Comic book held in one perfectly manicured hand, Natasha asks him if he’d really been that young when he joined the army. Bucky snorts a laugh and tells her he was older than Steve. Which feels especially true now, but he’s trying not to obsess about that particular fact, so he turns his attention back to his favorite panel.

“Die nazi scum,” he reads out loud, smiling.

“A very you sentiment,” Natasha says.

She gets the panel image enlarged and put on a t-shirt for him, and Bucky wears it out and about as frequently as he can just to alarm everyone at the grocery store. Apparently there’s something intimidating about a large, scruffy, one-armed man threatening bodily harm unto his enemies.

Bucky also likes the way it makes Steve look at him when he wears it, with pride and love and maybe a hint of mischief. Like it’s a joke only he and Bucky are in on.

Bucky looks at the tiny shrimp in the shorts and domino mask and thinks, yeah, okay. The joke is still pretty funny, even after seventy-six years.

10

∆ TWIN PEAKS TAROT ∆: SWORDS & WANDS

TAKE A PEAK AT PART I
TAKE A PEAK AT PART II
TAKE A PEAK AT PART III

TAKE A PEAK AT CUPS & COINS

Direct visual inspiration drawn from the Rider Waite Tarot deck.

rick and morty: the rickshank redemption
         sentence starters

spoilers ahead if you have yet to watch this episode! i also kept in a bunch of quotes about the damn szechuan sauce just to make myself laugh.

‘  anyway, that’s how i escaped from space prison.  ’
‘  i just got my sixth promotion this week and i still don’t know what i do!  ’
‘  it’s great to have you back no matter where we are, but wouldn’t you like to go home?  ’
‘  get out of the booth, take all your clothes off, and fold yourself twelve times.  ’
‘  you cheap insect fucks didn’t think i was worth your best equipment?  ’
‘  relaxed, enough?  ’
‘  he is the smartest man in the universe.  ’
‘  well, when you’re not sure what you do for a living, you can make your own rules.  ’
‘  you’ve hardly touched your pills.  ’
‘  stop saying his name. he abandoned us!  ’
‘  horses live longer than tortoises now. is that what you want?  ’
‘  maybe i just want you to care if i run away yelling!  ’
‘  admit it, you’re going crazy cooped up in here.  ’
‘  yeah well, tough titties.  ’
‘  that depends on who breaks first: me or the titty.  ’
‘  if we stay here we’ll die along with all your memories.  ’
‘  oh, that sounds cool. i can get what i want and you can say goodbye.  ’
‘  fine, but i’m driving.  ’
‘  hey, i like being 35. i can rent a car now.  ’
‘  they weaponized the eiffel tower!  ’
‘  no one’s special to him. not even himself.  ’
‘  i’m not right! i was using ghoulish overkill.  ’
‘  we’re going to the day it all began… and ended. the moment that changed everything.  ’
‘  i’d like to get a 10 piece mcnugget and a bunch of the szechuan sauce. like as much as you’re allowed to give me.  ’
‘  in 1998 they had this promotion for the disney film mulan where they created a new sauce for the nuggets called szechuan sauce and it’s DELICIOUS.  ’
‘  wow, this sauce is fucking amazing! you said it was promoting a movie?  ’
‘  i used to wear blue pants.  ’
‘  well, well, well if it isn’t us.  ’
‘  nobody has to know about that. we can put it right back and pretend we never saw it.  ’
‘  i’ll make it up as i go.  ’
‘  oh my god… i have that exact same top!  ’
‘  that’s my sister. this used to be my home.  ’
‘  imagine doing anything you want and hopping to a timeline where you never did it.  ’
‘  excuse me? we don’t pass on this. who do you think you are?  ’
‘  i heard sci-fi noises. did you make a breakthrough?  ’
‘  i only wanted to stop by here for a quick ‘i told you so.’  ’
‘  why would you do that? what is the matter with you people?  ’
‘  i’ve got it… i’ve fucking got it!!!  ’
‘  awesome possum!  ’
‘  yeah, that’s the three lines of math that separates my life as a man from my life as an unfeeling ghost.  ’
‘  you can alter anything you want about a totally fabricated origin story.  ’
‘  lovely. not only is my plan screwed up, i also forgot how to improvise!  ’
‘  he’s a spy, blow him up.  ’
‘  i’m gonna go take a shit.  ’
‘  he’s not a lawyer. we just keep him here because he’s fun.  ’
‘  i say: fuck you.  ’
‘  you killed him because you were jealous of him. that’s pretty obvious.  ’
‘  what? no! i don’t want to see your pog collection.  ’
‘  let’s not suck the ghost of his dick too hard.  ’
‘  he’s not a villain, but he shouldn’t be your hero. he’s more like a demon or… a super fucked up god.  ’
‘  i know you’re too stupid to get this, but you’re really fucking this up right now.  ’
‘  i wasn’t going to let her die, you fucking moron!  ’
‘  you’re a serious fucking idiot. you basically killed us all!  ’
‘  who’s stupid now, bitch?  ’
‘  i’m almost proud.  ’
‘  look, i’m not proud to share this, but the truth is i just kept crawling and it kept working.  ’
‘  guess who dismantled the government?  ’
‘  please don’t leave me again.  ’
‘  is there any light beer left? it’s insane what you miss in prison.  ’
‘  no, you’re right. where’s the vodka?  ’
‘  i’m sorry to hear that, sweetie. i hope i had nothing to do with that.  ’
‘  i better tend to him before he changes his mind and doesn’t move out.  ’
‘  but never him. you wanna know why? because he crossed me. ’
‘  take it easy – that’s dark!  ’
‘  welcome to the darkest year of our adventures!  ’
‘  if you tell them i said any of this, i’ll deny it and they’ll take my side because i’m a hero and now you’re gonna have to go do whatever i say – forever!  ’
‘  and i’ll go out and i’ll find more of that mulan szechuan teriyaki dipping sauce because that’s what this is all about – that’s my one-armed man.  ’
‘  i’m not driven by avenging my dead family, that was fake.  ’
‘  i’m driven by finding that mcnugget sauce. i want that mulan mcnugget sauce! ’
‘  that’s my series arc. if it takes nine seasons!  ’
‘  i want my mcnugget dipping sauce. szechuan sauce!  ’
‘  that’s what’s gonna take us all the way to the end!  ’
‘  what are you talking about?  ’
‘  nine more seasons. nine more seasons until i get that dipping szechuan sauce or 97 more years!  ’
‘  fine. fuck it. who cares?  ’

Winter Shadow - chapter 2

Work was really slow today so you get two chapters. Hope that’s OK, sorry. 

And all credit to @pixierox101 for the idea, not me xx

They woke at dawn wrapped around each other, bare skin cold in the unheated lodge. No time, or need, for words: they would be expected at the base and lateness would be punished.  They both dressed, strained and tired muscles complaining at the movement but disregarded, pain too familiar a companion to attend to.

He led the way, as always, out onto the hillside, skirting the treeline to stay out of view of early risers, but there was no one around.  They walked for four hours in silence before stopping to drink from a meltwater stream coming down the mountainside. The sun was hot on their backs now, the cool water a blessing as they cupped their hands and poured it over their heads.

They were used to spending time together without talking, their connection not needing words, more primal than language, so she was surprised when he spoke her name as they walked off. He stopped, and waited for her to catch up from her customary position a pace behind.  Walking side-by-side felt unfamiliar but comfortable, as if there was a half-forgotten memory of walking down a woodland path with someone once. She watched him, waiting to see what he needed to say.

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