anonymous asked:

can you plz plz plz explain that tweet about hasidic jews? and your tag "#just shake the asparagus and smell the lemon just go with it" i am sooo christian and soooo confused! much luv man. xx


So the fact that a non jew wouldn’t get it is kind of the joke don’t feel bad! We grow up around it our whole lives so we never really realize exactly how weird our traditions are until we have to interact with other people. Right now, we’re celebrating the jewish holiday of Sukkot, which is basically our fall celebration of the beginning of the agricultural season. The bEST part of it is that we have to build what’s called a Sukkah- which is kind of like a GIANT FUCKING WOODEN FORT IT’S SO COOL with thatched roofs to see the stars through, and after the religious days have passed we’re supposed to decorate it, hang out, eat sleep and party in it! It has a lot of religious significance pertaining to dependence on god and the earth and the Exodus. In a secular way, and in the way I was raised as well, it’s a mitzvah to invite people in to celebrate with you! Jewish or not! Like the story of Abraham and the Angels. 

What that tweet is referring to though is the lulav and the etrog, and that’s where things get HILARIOUS.

SO the lulav isn’t asparagus and the etrog isn’t a lemon. An etrog is a a sweet smelling citron that represents the heart because it’s most commonly found in Israel, Palestine, and other significant MENA areas which many Jews are native to. It has a little bit to do with the diaspora as well i think. Anyway, the funny thing is that an etrog has to be kosher certified and meet to certain aesthetic and storing standards AND WE DON’T EVEN GET TO EAT IT DURING THE HOLIDAY. PLUS it’s a status symbol too. like the family who can get the nicest, biggest etrog has something to really brag about. What we’re meant to do is entwine it with the lulav, a collection of a palm frond, myrtle, and willow, hold it in our right hands, and then… i’m not kidding.. shake it. You shake it north south east west up and down while saying the prayers to bring in blessings from every corner of the earth, especially rain. it’s basically a jewish rain dance but hey we’re the only people who have ever been able to grow tomatoes in the Negev so maybe it works. It also represents Jewish unity and unity with G-d and the world around you, so it’s an incredibly fulfilling thing to do. So back to that tweet, it’s really funny and endearing to think of a Hasidic man standing on the street with a lulav just trying to make some pals and give people the opportunity to participate with no concept of how insane we look to other people. Tbh he probably doesn’t care because it’s a rad holiday and I love it very much. 

This has been your friendly jewish history lesson of the day


Every year since 1976, on March 30, Palestinians around the world have commemorated Land Day. Though it may sound like an environmental celebration, Land Day marks a bloody day in Israel when security forces gunned down six Palestinians, as they protested Israeli expropriation of Arab-owned land in the country’s north to build Jewish-only settlements.

The Land Day victims were not Palestinians from the occupied territories, but citizens of the state, a group that now numbers over 1.6 million people, or 20.5 percent of the population. They are inferior citizens in a state that defines itself as Jewish and democratic, but in reality is neither.

On that dreadful day, in response to Israel’s announcement of a plan to expropriate thousands of acres of Palestinian land for “security and settlement purposes,” a general strike and marches were organized in Palestinian towns within Israel, from the Galilee to the Negev. The night before, in a last-ditch attempt to block the planned protests, the government imposed a curfew on the Palestinian villages of Sakhnin, Arraba, Deir Hanna, Tur'an, Tamra and Kabul, in the Western Galilee. The curfew failed; citizens took to the streets. Palestinian communities in the West Bank and Gaza, as well as those in the refugee communities across the Middle East, joined in solidarity demonstrations.

In the ensuing confrontations with the Israeli army and police, six Palestinian citizens of Israel were killed, about 100 wounded, and hundreds arrested. The day lives on, fresh in the Palestinian memory, as in 1976, the conflict is not limited to Israel’s illegal occupation of the West Bank and Gaza Strip, but is ever-present in the country’s treatment of its own Palestinian Arab citizens.

The month following the killings, an internal government paper, written by senior Interior Ministry official Yisrael Koenig, was leaked to the press. The document, which became known as the Koenig Memorandum, offered recommendations intended to “ensure the [country’s] long-term Jewish national interests.” These included “the possibility of diluting existing Arab population concentrations.”

Israel has been attempting to “dilute” its Palestinian population - both Muslims and Christians - ever since.

the situation is as dire as ever. Racism and discrimination, in their rawest forms, are rampant in Israel, and are often more insidious than physical violence. Legislation aimed at ethnically cleansing Palestinians from Israel is part of public discourse. Israeli ministers do not shy away from promoting “population transfers” of Palestinian citizens - code for forced displacement.