the-mouse-and-the-mask

re·al·i·za·tion

noun

The moment of sudden clarity when feelings are finally recognized, or are made aware for the first time.


It hit you one random afternoon in the studio, a soft beat filling the silence in the small, dimly lit room as you curled up even more snugly into Yoongi’s blanket on the black leather sofa. His back faced towards you, bits of his blueish black hair sticking out from beneath his black beanie, his head bobbing slightly to the beat as he clicked away on his mouse. From the side, you could see the black mask tucked under his chin with one strap behind each ear, his fair skin strikingly pale due to the contrast with his dark clothing and onyx eyes. He chewed on his bottom lip in concentration, mumbling softly to himself as his other hand fiddled around with the different controls on his sound board. He was in the zone, as per usual, and over the course of the past few months, you’d come to learn very quickly that he did not appreciate being bothered while he was in this state. Just like the very first time you’d met in your composition class.

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Monday 8:27am
I woke up with you on my mind.
You called me babe last night —
my heart is still pounding.

Tuesday 10:53pm
Today I realized we won’t work.
What we are is hurting her.
And I think she matters more to me than you do.

Wednesday 11:52pm
I broke things off with you today.
She barely said a word.
I’ve never regretted anything more than this.

Thursday 4:03pm
I shouldn’t have sent that message.
You shouldn’t have been so okay with receiving it.

Friday 9:57pm
I almost messaged you today.
I didn’t.

Saturday 8:49pm
I’m walking around town in search of alcohol.
They say that liquor numbs the pain of having a broken heart.
I want to put that to the test.

Sunday 2:32am
I heard you texted a girl you’ve never spoken to before.
I wonder if it’s because you’re trying to replace me.
I can’t help but wish you weren’t.
I thought I was irreplaceable.

—  a week with you on my mind, c.j.n.
Move on, leave, run away, escape this place… but don’t forget about me, about us, about this town. Always remember where you come from so you can appreciate how far you’ve come.
—  c.j.n.