the-moore

  • Major: I hit someone with my car! I think it might have been a kid, I don't know. They weren't wearing reflective clothing. I-I-I panicked, and I drove right back home.
  • Liv: Are there any pieces stuck in the grill?
  • Major: What?
  • Liv: hair, clothes, skin? Shoes stuck in the wheel well? We've got to make sure the car is clean. Strip down, I will burn your clothes in the car port while you shower. Impact blood travels, so you've got to scrub your bellybutton, armpits, legpits, inside your eyelids...everywhere.
  • Major: Okay, I get it-
  • Liv: Keys! I need your keys. I'll run the car into a tree to cover up any dents this kid may have caused. Better, I'll slam the brakes and let the car behind bump me into it so we don't have a knock on our insurance.
  • Major: ...
  • Liv: Next hurricane, I'll chop don the tree in case any flesh transferred to the bark. We never speak of this again. I love you.