pre-hogwarts sirius headcanon (:
— the blacks first sensed that sirius was meant to be different than them was when sirius was six and kept refusing to take more piano lessons. refusal and disobeying the wishes of his parents at an age where he was mature enough to know what he want was something unheard of, so walburga was suspicious and orion was indifferent, but extra wary and careful with sirius. ever since then, regulus was favoured more by his parents and sirius was often left in the shadows, was only brought up and remembered when guests came by and conversations about the next family heir and eldest son were brought up.
— when sirius was nine, he was sitting at his desk with papers in front of him and a quill in his hand. he was writing poetry — which wasn’t something bad, but when his cousin, narcissa walked in and saw how messy his handwriting was, she instantly laughed about it in front of everyone. walburga and orion were embarassed, but it was nothing compared to how embarrassed they felt when orion nicely asked his son, in front of the whole family, if he was interested in changing his handwriting into a certain font and sirius replied with, “no, i don’t care if my handwriting is messy and i don’t care if anyone else does. no one has the right to comment about it unless i am inking my words onto their skin.”
— sirius was eleven and he was standing with his parents at king’s cross, already dressed in black robes, his hair cut short and brushed back neatly. too neat and too brushed back to the point that even the september’s warm and chilly winds couldn’t let any strands go free. once the express arrived, his father knelt down in front of him and tied a green, black and white scarf around sirius’ neck. with his lips pursed and a challenging glint in his eyes, sirius shook his head and quickly pulled off the scarf, not showing any hints of emotion as the wool burnt his skin. “i won’t be needing it now, father, because i still am not sorted,” sirius explained. walburga, standing next to regulus, gasped. she said something and she looked angry, while orion appeared to be speechless, but sirius couldn’t hear any of her screeches because the hogwarts express arrived and it was too loud and too late.
— it was too late, because sirius left and when he came back during winter break, the walls of his room were magicked into gryffindor and muggle themes and the way he acted lacked respect and elegance and the moment his lips parted, arguments and demands of changing and pride poured out. it was too late, because sirius had found people he could trust and people he could love and sirius had found out the truth and found himself and broke the bars caging him in. it was too late, because sirius was different and he was always meant to be different and he was too stubborn to obey.