the-major-hellsing

You HAVE to look at this while listening to this: 
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j21f7aeTrbc


When I showed my friend gumdropgirl08​  Hellsing, she said Herr Major reminded her of a bear….like Winnie the Pooh. So I drew it. 


He has the rumblies in his tumblies that only war can satisfy


I’m not even sorry

not one bit

“Gentlemen. Operation Bait Van Winkle is a resounding success. Alucard is now exactly where we need him to be so we can move forward with our little… ‘Surprise.’ However, before we begin our next phase, I would like to take some time to address a rumor floating around the fleet. Some of you have come to believe that I like war. I wish to dash these rumors. I do not like war. I. LOVE. war. Through my life, I have discovered so many forms of war. You get up in the morning, you get into your shitty car, und you see a rich CEO who works half as hard as you do drive down the street in his Porsche. Class war. You make it to work, und you find out that the annual drug test is today. Und you just so happened to take a puff of your one-hitter a couple nights ago with your wife’s awful parents. Drug war. But then, you find out that the only ones being called in for testing are your black und Hispanic co-workers. Race war. Then, you try to post about it on your Facebook, but then all your friends start arguing about what’s right and what’s wrong. Flame war. You finally get home, und you decide to relax by watching a program about: ‘Who get’s the box?’ ‘What’s in the box?’ ‘How much is what’s in the box worth?’ Storage Wars. What I am telling you, my Nazi army of 1,000 vampires, is that I am a purveyor of war. Und with your help over the years, we are now at the precipice of our true goal. You see, I want a simple war. No class wars, no drug wars, no race wars, no flame wars… Und certainly, no Cold Wars! 

…Blueballed for 40 years 

What I want is a war that only we can bring. A true war! A German war! The sequel you’ve all been waiting for! I! WANT! WORLD! WAR!! THREE!!!" 

-The Major, “Hellsing Ultimate Abridged”

This was quite a long one, and I am so sorry it took me so long, but here it is! And I am going to have this separate from this, which is how Millennium expresses their love, since this could be a little different.

GIF Request: How They Flirt - Hellsing + Millennium + Iscariot

Alucard

This smooth-mofo is incredibly knowledgeable on what and how to seduce his partner. He knows exactly what will make his partner blush and what will get them in the mood.

Integra

Most of the time, Integra is not one to flirt. She is not one to flirt, instead allowing her partner to flirt with her. She will tend to resist up to a point before giving in and allowing herself to get lost in their affections

Seras

Seras is a very shy flirt, shooting her interest lots of glances. At times, she will try to throw in a line or two, but will stutter it out and not know exactly how to handle it.

Pip

Pip is, as we already know, incredibly smooth. His flirtatious gestures are always the perfect mix of subtlety and obviousness so that his partner understands the intent without being put off too much.

Walter

Walter has a plethora of pick-up lines, all of which range from corny to incredibly smooth. Whatever the case, his lines tend to fluster his partner, which is exactly what he wanted.

The Major

His flirtations would most likely come during dinners that they have together, since that would be his only calm time with them. He can actually be pretty smooth at times, though sometimes comes across as creepy when he gives gestures or looks.

The Doctor

The Doctor is surprisingly playful, though only when his partner initiates it. He will be doing something serious and then his partner may come in and do something mischievous. If it were anyone but them, he would be angry, but plays back with them instead.

The Captain

He will flirt by highlighting his skill, showing that he can take care of you. As shown above, he may include you in said workouts, sneaking in kisses or nuzzles whenever he is able.

Schrodinger

His flirts would be playful and not seemingly serious since he’ll compare you to silly things and just make playful jests and gestures.

Zorin

Zorin is awful with compliments and isn’t able to rightly show her affection. Any kind of show either comes across as rude, insincere, or creepy. Her partner is going to need to get used to this and be able to recognize her trying to be affectionate.

Rip

Rip is a clumsy lover, trying to be seductive, but many times falling around or stumbling over her words. Most of the time, though she is embarrassed, her partner finds it incredibly cute.

Luke

Luke really enjoys showing off for his partner, whether that means showing off physically or mentally. Knowing that his partner thinks he is amazing is very important to him.

Jan

Not only does he use innuendos at all times, he also tends to be rather playful as well, touching his partner whenever he can. Of course, sometimes he can be a little too rough for them, but always tries to make up for it by further playfulness.

Tubalcain

Tubalcain is incredibly vocal with his affections, telling his partner how much he cares about them and how amazing he finds them, always reminding them how much he sees in them.

Enrico

Enrico, like most of the Iscariot, is unable to show traditional affection since he would have to hide his relationship. Instead, he would leave little gifts for his partner, mostly sentimental ones, anonymously.

Anderson

Anderson and his partner are not able to be a normal couple, not even being able to express affection normally. His flirtations more come from sincere confessions of love and compliments.

Yumie/Yumiko

Both personalities are ecstatic lovers, tending to their love’s needs in attentive ways. As well, she tends to be rather playful, enjoying surprising her partner, the nature of which depends on which side is in control at the time.

Heinkel

Oh my God forgive me for this GIF. Heinkel is actually rather awkward at times when it comes to flirting. They will try to be smooth, but will sometimes comes across as confusing or strange.

Why thank you! :) I ended up changing this to a headcanon thing since I couldn’t find any GIFs that I thought could work. Hope that’s alright!

Headcanons: Partner with a Sunburn - Hellsing + Millennium

Alucard

-Would have no clue what it was or how to handle it

-He’d want to touch it, unintentionally hurting his partner the first time before doing so more delicately

-When it was time to apply the lotion, he would do it if only so he could touch his partner

Integra

-Would scold her partner about wearing sunscreen in the first place

-It would take her partner asking to have her apply the lotion for them

-She will be a little bit more delicate with you, but don’t expect special treatment

Seras

-Would go out of her way to buy some lotion, bringing back multiple bottles

-^She would leave the beach right away, not minding that she’s in her swimsuit or anything since you were more important

-At some point she would be able to be out with you even as a vampire, so she’ll always have some sunblock on hand for you

Pip

-He would jokingly yell at the sun for harming his precious partner

-Then, he would sensually apply the lotion, being a smooth-mofo while simply rubbing on some aloe vera

-He would try to make you feel better by recounting all of his tales of much more embarrassing burns 

Walter

-He would tease for a bit before noting the seriousness and helping with some lotion, maybe even bringing some painkillers

-Every time you wanted to go back outside, even if just to go to the grocery or something, he would check to make sure you were wearing sunscreen

-If you didn’t listen to him and burned again, you would never hear the end of it

Major

-He would enact war on the sun! He would order the Doctor to make you some special soothing lotion

-He would try to find some way to make you feel better, most likely taking you to dinner

-He may not want you going outside for a while since he worries for you, as well as the prospect of skin cancer

Doctor

-Would become frantic and bring you every bottle ever of lotion

-He would however let you know that you’re skin is a remarkable and beautiful thing no matter if burned or not

-Would avoid touching you there until he was sure it was fully healed

Captain

-He’ll first try to convince you to wear his jacket whenever you go outside, even in the burning heat

-Somehow he would know the UV radiation stats for the day and would show you them as if to scare you from going out again

-If you are out together, he’ll hold his jacket like an umbrella over you to shield you

Schrodinger

-He would tease relentlessly, saying how you were so clumsy

-After applying lotion for you, he would want you to put some on him even if he wasn’t burned

-Would really love applying the lotion and end up smothering you in far more than you needed

Rip

-Would not have any clue what to do and would freak out

-Once you explained it and what you needed, she would have a lot of fun applying due to its strange form

-She would look up everything about sunburns so the next time she would be prepared and ready to help you

Zorin

-Would tell you to suck it up

-If it really hurt, she would have you point it out so she could apply the lotion for you

-From then on, she would tell you to just stay inside since she can’t go out anyway

Luke

-As long as it wasn’t peeling yet, he would apply the lotion for you

-^If it was peeling, he won’t touch it with an eight-foot pole

-He will apologize later, stating that he does in fact love your skin, but not when there are pieces falling off

Jan

-Would most certainly use lotion as a way to touch you inappropriately

-With him around, he would probably never allow a sunburn since he would want to help you with the lotion right away

-He can’t go in the sun so he’ll lament not being able to get burned himself

Tubalcain

-Would apply lotion right away with a soft touch

-From then on, he would always have sunscreen for his partner on hand

-He would ask to touch it lightly since he liked the warmth of your skin there