the-lost-child

If Peter has to die in Infinity War, even temporarily, I want to FEEL it. No boom, he’s dead, back to the battle.

I want to see Tony hugging his dead body, hear him screaming and crying like any dad who just lost his only child.

I want to see Groot realize that, though he’s just a teen, he’s not invulnerable.

I want to see Wanda cry because she can feel Peter’s death and Tony’s grief and she knows what it’s like to lose your whole world.

I want to see Strange run over and try to staunch the blood flow, do CPR, do anything to desperately try to save his new friend.

I want to see Rhodey pulling a struggling Tony away from Peter’s body, his own voice shaking as he tries futilely to calm his best friend down.

I want to see Clint and Scott pat whatever part of their uniforms holds the picture of their kids while Clint starts moving towards Wanda.

I want to see everyone look at the friends and loved ones they have on that battlefield with shock and grief and a new terror in their eyes because the teenager - the happy, sassy, brilliant teenager with a long life ahead of him who had more protection on that battlefield than anyone thanks to Stark tech and a hoard of protective adults - was just killed in front of them. And if he couldn’t survive… can any of them?

To the guys who feel like they can't interact with children

To the guys who see a lost kid crying at the grocery store and want to do something but can’t in fear of looking like a kidnapper

To the guys who get harassed out in public with their younger siblings

To the fathers who are treated like predators for being around their own children

To the male teachers who get worried looks from parents worried about leaving their child with a man

I see you, you aren’t creepy, it’s okay. I respect men who are good with kids, who actually care and actually want to help when a lost child is scared, who are passionate enough to help their siblings or to spend time with their children, who have made it their profession to educate children.

I’m sorry that society makes you too nervous to be able to show the same platonic affection to children that women are able to.

I see you. Thank you for caring.

Saturn can be difficult to generate satisfaction or ‘good feelings’ out of. Often the tasks we set with Saturn are admirable goals. But Saturn turns these dreams into concrete and resulting expectation. This is an area of life where failure is not an option. It can make the resonance very harsh and create obstruction through our own fears and self destruction. Saturn accepts nothing less than accomplishment. And when we accomplish his outstanding feats, we are not immediately gratified or rewarded or celebrated. Life seems to go on as normal, all the work we have done seems invalid, so much energy, effort, and pain expressed to feel nothing? I guess that’s the ‘expectation’ quality of Saturn. It’s the internal vision of greatness. Saturn knows our true potential beyond the self consciousness, complexes, and worry. The area of life where Saturn touches can feel like a non negotiable contract.

Saturn in the 1st house: Forced to constantly challenge ferocious critique from the ego, trapping the spirit in caged form, the individual can be forced through isolation and rejection and heartbreak to wake the inner alchemist. Saturn in the 1st is the late bloomer. It takes many years for the ancient spirit to come to grips with its human attributes 

Saturn in the 2nd house: Life, stability, and security can remains in constant fluctuation or threat. It can seem like no matter how hard the individual works, saves, or commits themselves they never catch a break. It can feel as if they are forever sacrificing their own self pleasure 

Saturn in the 3rd house: The individual must pass their exams. And they must do exemplary well - even if it’s not their subject of choice. Saturn in the 3rd has to fight a difficult battle with their own minds and generating focus, self belief, and confidence, academic failure is spirit destroying. And no matter what the score, the forbidding voice in the back of the mind, ‘you should have studied more’ 

Saturn in the 4th house: There can be a constant fight for security, stability, and safety. The individual charters through haunting inner territory to find the lost inner child. And it can seem like no matter how hard they try to nurture the inner child she is unwilling and traumatised, intense inner work is done with Saturn in the 4th and there is typically no one there to see it 

Saturn in the 5th house: The individual wages a battle on the ego, but the swords are raised by the ego. The expression of personality is pressured and bound by insecurity but forced into blinding light to perform a script that seems alien 

Saturn in the 6th house: Honourably committed to larger-than personal causes, the individual works tirelessly in the background, offering heart, mind, and talent to everybody in need of assistance. But they rarely receive commendation or recognition, the work is laborious and thankless 

Saturn in the 7th house: Relationships are commonly demanding, challenging and seemingly unforgiving. The individual may be forced into partnership with intensely difficult or critical people, those who echo their critical inner thoughts out loud as insult and become more isolated as a result, forced to wade through shadowy projections 

Saturn in the 8th house: The physical form and ego grips the spirit in stranglehold, the reticence to enter non physical states such as through meditation, union, enlightenment can be inhibited by the unrelenting fear of ‘letting go’. Often the individual will be expected to manage other people’s resources

Saturn in the 9th house: Achieving academic, theological, philosophical accreditation is vital. The individual faces exceeding pressures undertaking higher education and getting their works out into the world. When they finally graduate, publish the book, or learn the reading there is little or no credit from Saturn 

Saturn in the 10th house: The individual is forced to stare down intimidating and discouraging authority to achieve the remarkable vision set by Saturn. There is pressure to leave an imprint in the world, but the world is unwelcoming 

Saturn in the 11th house: An outsider pretending to be one with everyone, or so they think. The individual is forced to acquire, withhold, and release sacred and higher wisdom that can be mocked or branded by an unready society, the individual must continue to share their truth regardless of its loneliness 

Saturn in the 12th house: There is a powerful contract written in the theme of sacrifice and salvation. The individual’s duty to the collective are severe, the development of spiritual awareness and gnosis can sweep the individual into madness like a riptide. There are intense, invisible obligations undertaken for the spiritual nature of humanity

-C.