the-lady-was-insulted

Tips on writing Southern style for Leonard McCoy.

Here’s a link to part 2 of McCoy writing tips.

Being a native southerner and living in Georgia - the home of the great Dr Leonard McCoy and DeForest Kelley - I thought it would be fun to offer some tips for writing about the South.  I love reading Bones fanfics, but I see a lot of misconceptions about my home state and city, Atlanta.  THIS IS NOT MEANT AS CRITICISM OF ANYONE’S WRITING!!!  Hopefully people will see it in the fun spirit with which it’s intended!  I’ve also tagged a few people who have written Bones stories that I’ve really enjoyed.  I hope that’s ok!!  I love everything you creative writers do!!

2. Georgia is the peach state, but we’re not drowning in peaches.  The state doesn’t smell like peaches, taste like peaches, or drip peach juice.  1.  Y’all is plural.  And yes, we say y’all all the time, but only to refer to groups of more than one person.  It’s never you guys or even you when referring to a group - ALWAYS y’all.  I can’t talk without using that word!

3. What we are drowning in is Coke.  AKA Dixie champagne, the elixir of life, the secret formula.  Nobody calls it Coca-cola, it’s just Coke.  Coke is headquartered in Atlanta and employees are not allowed to have any other soft drink on pain of being fired if they’re caught!  (True!!)  I’ve known people who wouldn’t attend a church event because someone was serving Pepsi!  Also, all soft drinks are called Coke.  If someone says, “Would you like a Coke?”  It means “Would you like any carbonated beverage of the Coke family?”  It’s never called pop or soda or anything else (especially Pepsi.)

4. Atlanta is not a small town.  It’s a city of about 5 million people if you count the whole metro area! If your story setting is Atlanta, then remember that there are no rolling fields or country roads here.  But there is Lenox Mall, Phipps Plaza, lots of nice restaurants, and lots of streets named Peachtree.  Peachtree Street, Peachtree Way, Peachtree Avenue, and Peachtree Battle Ave. are all within about a mile of my house.

5. We don’t call each other “Darlin’”.  Sometimes we call each other “hon’” or “sweetie” or I might call a boy “bud” or “buddy” but I don’t think I’ve ever heard anyone called “Darlin’

6. I would suggest not writing in Southern dialect.  It’s hard to read and frequently sounds more country than Southern.  And yes, there is a difference.  Country is more redneck, Southern is more elegant.

7. We frequently say “Bless your heart”, but it’s sort of a way of saying “Isn’t she/he sweet but stupid…”  For example, “She ordered a Pepsi, bless her heart.”

8.  Outside of metro Atlanta is rural.  Really rural.  Georgia is a beautiful state that has both beaches and mountains and we love to take advantage of both!  But not everyone lives on a farm.  I would love to read a story where Bones takes the reader to Amelia Island or St Simon’s Island - it would just be so real!  Also, we don’t ever call it the shore.  It’s always the beach.

9. It does get hot here.  REALLY hot!  And humid. But it also gets cold here - but cold to us is anything below about 45 degrees.  And the reason we’re so cold is because nobody knows what to do with it - we might own one winter jacket, so when it goes down to 20 degrees everyone just freezes.  But it’s not hot here year-round.

10. Manners are super-important.  Children are taught to say “Yes Ma’am” and “Yes Sir” from birth.  I still say yes ma’am and sir to people older than me. Gentlemen pretty much all still open doors for ladies, pull out their chairs, and stand when a lady approaches your dinner table in a restaurant (then the lady always says “Go ahead and sit!! Don’t stand on my account!”) McCoy would totally be into doing this. We ladies enjoy it.  Nobody is insulted.  But ladies also open doors for gentlemen.  We just try to be nice to each other.  I apologize if anyone ever met someone met someone rude from Georgia!  They must have been having a bad day, bless their heart. (Maybe someone offered them a Pepsi…)

11.  It’s true that tea is always iced.  And sweet. And we drink it all the time. Unless we’re drinking Coke. 

12. To me, McCoy does not sound like he has any accent, - I just don’t hear it. But Kirk sounds a little funny sometimes! 

 OK - I’m going to stop here.  If anyone has any questions please feel free to ask!!  I’m hoping to read a lot more Bones stories and I hope this helps!

@bravemccoy @mccoymostly @outside-the-government @outside-the-government @kaitymccoy123 @paigeinastory @atari-writes @medicatemedrmccoy @trade-baby-blues @anotherstartrekimagineblog @arrowsshootyouforwards @youre-on-a-starship @imaginestartrek @mybullshitsensesaretingling

Monster’s Pride Tarot: Six of Pentacles

Maybe you’ve heard this story before. Two sisters, one the golden child, the favorite, as pointed and mean to others as her mother is. The other the scapegoat, polite and compassionate, made to do the chores, fetch and carry, serve the other two. The scapegoat sister ventures into town and helps a crippled old lady draw water from a well. In exchange, she is blessed, for the old woman is a fairy in disguise.

The mother is piqued that her favorite child got no blessing while her other daughter won a boon. She orders her favorite to go out to the square and look for an old lady to help, so she too can receive favor. But the golden child, so intent on looking for the old lady, insults and pushes aside a young girl who asks for her help. The young girl reveals herself as the fairy and curses the golden child as punishment for her actions.

Each sister gets what she deserves: one a mouthful of gold and jewels, the other a mouthful of vermin and poison.

Except… was the cruel sister truly cursed, or is her mouthful of poison a blessing in disguise? The sister enchanted to spit riches with each word has the three great golden coins of providence, but the sister enchanted to spit vermin with each word has three great crowned familiars at her beck and call, each ready to teach her to harness power and lead her through the mysteries of witchcraft. What lessons will she learn from this story? What sort of person will she become, now that she can experience hardship and learn lessons from the shadows?

And what sort of person will the blessed sister become? Now that her words can buy her anything she desires, what value does kindness have to her?

Who will be the monster in this story?

Get a printable, colorable version of this by pledging to my Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/felixwarren

Perseverance - Derek Hale x Reader

As always, thanks to @julieanncupcake!

Pairing: Derek Hale x Female Reader

Derek Hale Masterlist

(Picture isn’t mine if it’s yours and you want to be credited for it or for me to remove it, just let me know!)

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thesushimonster  asked:

Rosvolio + "If you die, I'm going to kill you."

They were supposed to mourn, not fight. But Verona requires blood, and if it does not come from love, it’ll come from war. Decades long hatred cannot be erased with just one happy marriage and one night spent in common drunkenness. It didn’t take the talk of servants, it didn’t take hot-blooded men, but when suffering Lady Capulet throws an insult towards Lord Montague, towards his treacherous, dead son, it’s as good as a slap to the face. Swords are drawn the second the Lady’s voice fades, her anger turning into crushing sadness. She swats her husband’s arm away, and she turns on her heels and moves away before the chaos truly begins.

Rosaline, in the middle of the Montague crowd, has no such luck. She catches Livia’s eyes, and before she gets to shout her name, push her way through bodies, swords, whatever – she’s spun on her heels, and the only thing she can see is Benvolio’s leather shirt. She turns tense against him, too close too fast, but if he notices it, he doesn’t show it.

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I work in a pub/restaurant as a bartender, and since the pub area isn’t table service customers have to order at the bar, so I take a fair amount of food orders each shift. The menu has a cheaper lunch option with smaller serving sizes available til 6, but unless someone is ordering something specific to the lunch menu (such as sandwiches) most of the time they’ll go for the main menu option, so I always check
The other day someone ordered two servings of fish and chips, which is an option available both on the lunch menu and the main menu in different serving sizes. The guy has the menu in his hands as he’s ordering, he is pointing at the product on the main menu and saying in no uncertain terms I want this one. I even asked him if he meant the large haddock as opposed to the smaller lunch serving and he said “yeah that”, so I put it through as the main menu portion. He didn’t contest the price and went back to his table.
Minutes later this woman came over saying she’d her receipt said she was getting the £9.99 dish rather than the £4.99 one, can she change it to the cheaper one, and I hurried to the kitchen to find my manager and see if it could be changed/refunded (we can’t change orders once the chef has started cooking unless it’s the server’s mistake). As soon as she saw my manager her story changed. She told him she’d ordered from the lunch menu, that “the lady must have assumed” and “if I were doing this job I’d always assume that someone ordering at this time was ordering from the lunch menu”. The manager asked her if she specified the lunch menu option AND SHE SAID YES. SHE DIDN’T PLACE THE ORDER! I “assumed” they wanted the normal dish because her friend literally brought the menu over to the till and literally pointed at the main menu dish and literally said he wanted that one. I checked the order and he agreed. It’s not an easy mixup on the customer’s part because the lunch menu and the normal menu are completely separate, ie on separate sheets of paper. Don’t try to make me look like an idiot because you fucked up your own order! And don’t refer to me as “that lady” and insult me when I’m stood right in front of you! And for fuck’s sake, don’t act like you’d know how to do my job. It’s pretty obvious you have no idea how a restaurant works.

“if i had a million dollars” by the “bare naked ladies” is the most insulting thing to us actual millionaires in the world and everyday that it gets radio play is a day that we are unjustly othered, belittled, and sileinced.

Of Words and Swordplay

Chapter 4 Summary: Daenerys has her first lesson with Jon, sparring with swords and well as words.

Chapters 1-4/? on a03!


The weather on Dragonstone was fairer than it had been, so Daenerys had Jon Snow summoned outside for her first lesson. She was waiting in a private courtyard—private for all except the dozen Dothraki warriors she had along the perimeter for her guard—thinking it should be the northman waiting on her, not the other way around. Even so, taking Jon Snow as a sword tutor was already unconventional. A queen waiting on one of her rebellious lords couldn’t make things any more unconventional than they were.

Nevertheless, as she ran her hand over the pommels of the training swords set into the wrack she’d had carried outside, Dany couldn’t help but be anxious to begin. She was anxious to have her lessons completed, and to take Drogon out and avenge her allies. She refused to feel anxious about the northman.

“Your Grace,” he called from behind her. Daenerys turned just as he stepped out from under a stone archway, pulling on a glove. His dark hair was pulled back from his face as it always was, and when he stepped into the sun its light made the scars on his face seem darker against his pale skin.

Dany wondered when he got those scars—where he was and how they happened. She wondered if she would ever know.

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anonymous asked:

Alright, you can't just leave us hanging. Tell is the story of the marriage of Skadi and Mr Lady Legs.

How dare you insult Njord’s sexy gams like that, those are very manly and beautifully turned ankles. 

Anyway. Skadi is initially disappointed because she was ready for Balder’s sexy face, but Njord’s not in the least ugly either, and the longer she looks at him the more into the whole ‘rugged sailor’ looks he’s got going on she is. Njord’s not too upset either, because Skadi is a stunner, if one who carries enough weaponry to arm half of Asgard. (Honestly that would just be another plus, in my book)

The wedding was lavish and magnificent. After the hangover cleared, the time came for the new couple to decide where to live. They agreed to spend nine days in each of their homes, and decide which they liked better. 

Now. Skadi is the goddess of winter, of survival and the hunt. Her domain is the high mountains, as harsh and beautiful as sun on a frozen sword. Thrymheim is the name, and there the snow never melts and the winter storms howl like wolves in the night. 

For nine nights the couple stayed in Thrymheim. Skadi was perfectly happy. Njord was miserable. As they made their way back down after the nine nights was up, Njord announced that while the sex had been pretty great, the locale had been awful, and he was excited to thaw out the icicles on his balls and show his new bride his beautiful home in Noatun, his warm and lovely home at the seashore. 

For nine nights the couple stayed in Noatun, where Njord was thrilled to be back near the sea. Skadi, meanwhile, hated it. It was too hot, she couldn’t sleep, the seabirds wouldn’t shut the hell up, and how can you sleep here I’m sweating bullets.

After her nine nights in Noatun, the couple had a heart-to-heart and agreed while they liked each other okay, there were going to be never-ending battles over the air conditioning setting, and they were better off going their own ways. So Skadi returned to her high mountains, to her snow and ice and glaciers and howling wolves, while Njord remained by the seaside, and while both remained on friendly terms the marriage was over. 

Feanorian Week, Day 7: Nerdanel Headanons

- People always think Feanor as the crazy one. But Feanor is methodical, and aside from very understandable grief, structured and through. If he hates you, he acts carefully and destroys you with a sweet smile. Feanor is like Maglor and Maedhros. Nerdanel on the other hand? She’s the one Celegorm, Caranthir and Curufin inherited her temper from. During the early years she punched very stupid noble lady, who thought to insult HER husband for his life choices. Nerdanel is the violent one. She hauls stone blocks around for fun, thank you, she can look after herself.

- Nerdanel is the one with the temper, the bruised and bloodied knuckles and Feanor loves his wife even more for it.

- She has also raised seven boys. She knows every dirty slur in existence. Also, dick jokes. Nerdanel is the Queen of Dick Jokes. She knows ALL OF THEM. (Seven Boys! Seven! And one very sarcastic husband.)

- Sometimes Nerdanel isn’t sure how they all survived long enough to swear the oath in the first place. First: broken bones, bruises and bloody noses aren’t even worth mentioning anymore. There’s always someone who’s injured. In the worst case, they’ve more than one patient. One memorable occasion Celegorm had a broken leg, Caranthir a sprained wrist, Maedhros a nasty cold, Maglor a stomach bug, Feanor and Curufin burns of various degrees. All while she was heavily pregnant. So, unless someone is bleeding out or the house is on fire it’s not an emergency.

- After they had Celegorm, Nerdanel and Feanor decided their children could deal with their parents having sex. Getting a quiet hour for themselves is impossible anyway. Lead to the Red-Sock-on-the-Door system and it’s respected, unless its the bathroom. If you have sex in the bath and get caught, it’s your own fault.

- Feanor wants grandchildren, some of his of sons wouldn’t be opposed, but for Nerdanel no woman his good enough for her boys. So far all have run away screaming sooner or later. Celebrimbor remains a mystery her sons won’t talk about.

- Nerdanel has no opinion about her husband relatives. It’s not a secret that she loves her boys above anything else. The rest doesn’t matter.

- When she’s working, sleep is for the weak. Often Nerdanel just nods off somewhere and her boys are so kind to carry her to bed. In a similar manner they bring her food, when she’s deeply buried in her sculpting.

- Caranthir is her angel, because the system of household chores would collapse without him.

- Prank Wars and Bets are banned. If they happen, then it’s not inside the house and this all Nerdanel asks for. Still, when Formenos is built, she insists on reinforced walls.

- Despite all the arguments she has with Feanor, she’s still insanely in love with him when he swears the Oath. And in the end, she doesn’t live long enough in order to hear about the fate of her sons. She dies the moment Feanor does.

so this happened like two days ago and ive been just kinda thinking abt it since then, but my mom, who has been notoriously intolerant/uncomfortable with lgbtq+ topics, started talking to me abt how a trans lady was insulted and threatened on a talk show and how disgusted she was abt it. and how she just now started to realize how much danger trans people are put in by ignorant and transphobic people, and how she acknowledged that she herself had some bigoted viewpoints, and then proceeded to actually listen to me talk about trans issues.

like im still not comfortable to come out to her but hey its a step in the right direction

Some highlights from a Drunk Shakespeare production of Macbeth
  • So basically, five professional actors get together to perform a Shakespeare play, and one of them gets really, REALLY drunk  
  • The drunk actor (playing Lady Macbeth) started this (the second show of the night) with six shots already down and had had 12 total by the end of the night
  • Numerous celebrity impressions including Seinfeld, Louis Armstrong, Christopher Walken, and Elmo
  • So much profanity, like every other word, dear god Shakespeare would be so fucking proud
  • M and Lady M basically just insulted each other the whole time in extremely petty and profane ways it was the most accurate depiction of their relationship that I’ve ever seen.
  • Classical dancing to Bye Bye Bye
  • The final battle between Macbeth and Macduff performed as a dance battle
  • Macduff’s son was renamed, as suggested by the audience, Big Dick Jerome
  • An audience member read from Fifty Shades of Gray
  • Lady M switched to Spanish halfway through “out damned spot”
  • Macbeth gave a soliloquy in German
  • Car air fresheners as Birnam Wood
  • Witches taking leftovers of audience’s drinks to make a potion (which the drunk actor chugged)
  • Macduff (as Bernie Sanders): I just hope my wife and kids are still alive.
    Ross (as Trump): Well, you know-
    Macduff: I just hope they live through the end of the play.
    Ross: Well you know, they might, they might not. They probably will, I’m
    sure they will, but you never know, those 2nd Amendment people…
  • The entire play concluded with the Independence Day speech complete with rousing music

anonymous asked:

So, I usually NEVER complain about my job. Because I actually enjoy it. I'm a cashier. But, today the power went out. And I had to get customers to leave. And all of them were in protest because they wanted too get their stuff. Understandable. But, I have no electricity. I don't have a register. And then an old lady insulted me for the fact I was willing to ring up the already marked meat. She said "wow, all you young folks can actually do the math? " like yes, I can. Screw off woman.

Ugh I hate baby boomers

You're a pain

Fluff with Jae from Day6

“What is that supposed to be” your boyfriend of one year said to you with a clear expression of confusion. You looked down at your notebook at your drawing. You were never the best drawer but it was a slow boring day so you thought that you could draw to pass some time. “It’s supposed to be a bunny you pabo” you said to him with you hand dramatically on your chest. “It looks like a mixture of bugs bunny and a old lady with a constipated expression” he says laughing at your drawing. “You look like a bunny with a constipated old lady face!” you poorly insult him. He gasps dramatically. “Well I must be one hot grandma then” he says flipping his hair. You laugh at your boyfriends silly antics. "You’re so insane" you say laughing putting away your constipated grandma bunny. “I’m insane about you" he says laughing at his poor attempt to flirt with you. “Um I don’t think that’s how the original expression works Jae” you say to him with an odd expression. “Um I’m pretty sure I said it perfectly right thank you very much young lady” he says snapping his fingers in a circle.

“Ummm no you didn’t”

Uhhhh yes I did

No you didn’t you pabo

Yes I diiid

No you diiidn’t

Yes

No 

Yes

……Fine

“I knew you would agree” he says cockily. You give him a blank expression. “Why are you looking at me like that” he asks. “What?” Oh no reason” you say staring at him trying to make him uncomfortable. One thing led to another and you both were having a intense staring contest. When he was almost so close to winning, one of his bandmates starts busting in “ HEYYYY gu- what are you too doing?” Wonpil said questioning why you too were sitting on the couch staring at each other. The sudden loudness made Jaehyung jump in surprise blinking while doing so. “NOOOOOO” he screams at his own defeat. “YASS” you say running up to hug Wonpil to thank him for assisting in your win. “In your face” you say to Jae. Obviously feeling awkward by the situation Wonpil slowly backs away into the door he came from. “That was mean, you cheated” Jae says, arms across his chest and pouting. “AWWW Jae I’m sowwy” you look at your boyfriend with puppy eyes. He sighs as gives in to your adorable face. “Fine” he says rolling his eyes laughing and pinching your cheeks. He puts his arm around you and snuggled you closer. You cuddled into your boyfriends side giving each other a sweet kiss on the lips. “Even though you’re a pain, I still love you” you say to him. He kisses you once more. “Same here” he says to you kissing the top of your head.

NEVER CALL UNDYNE A MERMAID! D:

And thus, we call her ‘Fish Lady’ instead…Because it insults her less, though that still doesn’t mean you won’t your bum whooped. lol~