When in the chronicle of wasted time
I see descriptions of the fairest wights,
And beauty making beautiful old rhyme
In praise of ladies dead and lovely knights,
Then, in the blazon of sweet beauty’s best,
Of hand, of foot, of lip, of eye, of brow,
I see their antique pen would have express’d
Even such a beauty as you master now.
So all their praises are but prophecies
Of this our time, all you prefiguring;
And, for they look’d but with divining eyes,
They had not skill enough your worth to sing:
For we, which now behold these present days,
Had eyes to wonder, but lack tongues to praise.
—  Sonnet 106 by William Shakespeare

Although Wu-Tang Clan has made 10 references to Star Wars, Eminem is the one rapper for whom MC stands for MidiChlorians. Thanks to the Yoda of Rap—that’d be producer Rick Rubin—Marshall Mathers has grown from a young padawan into a Jedi Knight. His 12 references mention ewoks that pop Reeboks and cast himself on both sides of the Force, once as Obi-Wan and many times as Darth Vader.

 Read more lyrics and find out WIRED’s favorite Star Wars rhymes.

The Erotic Adventures of Young Brendol Hux II

@reserve - why did you make me do this? 

(Takes place in the same fictional universe as Savages


“This better not be your idea of a joke,” Hux says, sliding into the narrow gap and pushing the refresher stall door closed behind him.

His minion’s face is impassive: Cadet Knight wouldn’t know a joke if it was staring him in the face; which in this case, it is. He gestures with a tilt of his head. “Look.”

Hux follows his gaze to the grubby wall panel where someone has scrawled “BRENDOL HUX FONDLES COX.”

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