“Ye know,” he observed, letting go at last, “you’ve never said it.”

“Neither have you.”

“I have. The day after we came. I said I wanted you more than anything.”

“And I said that loving and wanting weren’t necessarily the same thing,” I countered.

He laughed. “Perhaps you’re right, Sassenach.” He smoothed the hair from my face and kissed my brow. “I wanted ye from the first time I saw ye – but I loved ye when you wept in my arms and let me comfort you, that first time at Leoch.”

The sun sank below the line of black pines, and the first stars of the evening came out. It was mid-November, and the evening air was cold, though the days still kept fine. Standing on the opposite side of the fence, Jamie bent his head, putting his forehead against mine.

“You first.”

“No, you.”


“I’m afraid.”

“Of what, my Sassenach?” The darkness was rolling in over the fields, filling the land and rising up to meet the night. The light of the new crescent moon marked the ridges of brow and nose, crossing his face with light.

“I’m afraid that if I start I shall never stop.”

He cast a glance at the horizon, where the sickle moon hung low and rising. “It’s nearly winter, and the nights are long mo duinne.” He leaned across the fence, reaching, and I stepped into his arms, feeling the heat of his body and the beat of his heart.

“I love you.”

  • Aries:When I first saw you, I knew you were the most beautiful being I would ever lay eyes on. Your laugh is contagious and I can't help but feel like I'm flying when I'm with you. Never change.
  • Taurus:You are a rock for me to stand on when I can't do it on my own. You are the most patient person I have ever known, and more forgiving than I thought possible. Growing up under your care was a blessing.
  • Gemini:I trusted you, and you ruined me. One day you will think of me and regret every time you pushed me down. One day you will see that I am more than you ever expected me to be, and my life will have more meaning than you gave me.
  • Cancer:Your voice was like music and you touched me with a gentle hand and soft words. I thought you were my cure, the medicine that would make me feel alive again; but with your poison running through my veins I can tell you now that I have never felt so much pain. It's been 3 years but I still wince at the sound of your name.
  • Leo:You showed me what love looks like and I will never forget the kindness with which you treated me. Sometimes I can still taste you on my lips and I wish you knew that I still think of you.
  • Virgo:I have yet to meet a Virgo who will have an impact on my life.
  • Libra:My feelings toward you are those of envy, I admit that I resent you. You had the approval that I have sought for 18 years and I fail to understand why you are good enough, while I am not.
  • Scorpio:It's been a while, but I still think about how we used to be. Although I have been stung by your words, I remember the laughter we shared and the all the times you were there when I needed someone.
  • Sagittarius:You save me daily and for that I can never show enough gratitude. My heart swells when you say my name, and you say it so beautifully. When I look at you, everything feels alright, and I know I'm safe. You are the most gentle person to have ever touched my skin; I hope you never let me go.
  • Capricorn:You came into my life at a time where I needed you the most. We all needed you, and suddenly you were there. It was unexpected but welcomed, and you continue to make life bearable for me. When you're around, thoughts tumble from my lips; thoughts I didn't even realise were relevant to me. Your support means the world to me, so thank you.
  • Aquarius:You are one of the strongest people I have had the privilege to know. You pulled yourself up from a dark place, and I admire you so much for that, and I wish I shared your strength. We are not often sincere with each other - it's easy to joke about our pain when you don't want to feel it. But I remember when we drank our sorrows and laid under the stars in the middle of the road, and you gave me guidance and hope. I may not say it, but you are so incredibly important to me.
  • Pisces:You took on responsibilities that should have never been asked of you, and you never complained in the slightest. When you're hurting, you put on a mask, so carefully constructed; but you can't cover the way your voice shakes, and I know you too well. You deserve the wonders of the universe, and one day you will have your own galaxy, I promise you
Only days have passed but I miss you already.

I miss your smile when you first saw me the last time we were together.
I miss your voice, telling me about how all your days have been when we’re not together;
I miss how you hug me tight, telling me how you really missed me.

I miss those loud and stomach-aching laughs when you make fun of me when I get angry when you tease me so much;
And I miss how you say sorry and say you’ll never laugh again, but miserably failing and you burst out laughing.

I miss that tired, husky voice when you feel so down, and something’s bugging you so much.
I miss those you-don’t-want-to-talk-to-me-but-i’ll-hug-you-anyway hugs.

I miss our movie marathons, food trips, and just having fun.
I miss how we just get under your blankets, and just sleep and cuddle the whole day.
I miss your kisses. I miss your hand touching my skin;
How you run your fingers on my back.
I miss how you make me feel everytime we’re together.

I miss you so much I even typed it out. I miss you so much. I just miss you so fucking much.

Happy #NoShameDay to all of you! Here’s my story:
I had a stressful but fairly normal life until early July, 2014, when I all of a sudden became dizzy and my sides were unbearably hurting. The pain lasted 9 hours and my dizziness did not go away so we went to a doctor. I was temporarily diagnosed with labyrinthitis, but with medicines and over time I did not get better. I saw an ENT after a couple of weeks and they confirmed I did not have labyrinthitis. Fast forward to July 31, I was still dizzy, it had not gone away for even a moment. I saw my first neurologist that day, who laughed at me and told me to my face that I must be faking because my symptoms didn’t line up. I kept getting more and more symptoms, and more and more tests were being done. I had to go to the ER several times because I couldn’t breathe, it took too much effort, and my head hurt like crazy and my sides were murdering me and I couldn’t even open my eyes. I live in a crappy area in the middle of nowhere so our ER isn’t too great, they only said “this isn’t normal” and sent me home after an hour, still unable to breathe. I saw an obgyn in October, who said I might have PCOS after she did an ultrasound. But we haven’t heard from her after that. By December I got to see specialists at Brenner’s Children’s Hospital and Wake Forest Hospital. At Brenner’s I have a cardiologist and endocrinologist, and at Wake I have a neurologist. They’ve ordered many more tests as well. Sleep studies, MRIs, EKGs, chest x-rays, etc. I also had to see an eye doctor (forgive me I forget their name) to check my optic nerve. Everything kept looking fine, except for my symptoms and my really bad episodes where I had to be hospitalized. Late December, my cardiologist told me my problem was probably dysautonomia/POTS, but he did not give me a proper diagnosis. Physical therapy had to be stopped because it was exhausting me more than helping me. March rolls around and I’m still dizzy, only the dizziness has gone for very rare fleeting moments, but otherwise it’s always there. My pediatrician diagnosed me with autonomic dysfunction, also known as dysautonomia. He says this illness may work itself out in 5-8 years, but otherwise it may not ever sort out. Our main goal currently is to treat my symptoms.

I can not walk on my own still, because I have no balance and I’m dizzy. It’s been this way since July. I always have to walk holding onto a sturdy person’s arm or use a wheelchair. I can’t even stand without falling. I can stand with a walker but not walk with one. It exhausts me to do any walking and I lose my breath super fast, and almost faint after even a moderate distance.

There’s my story. Happy #NoShameDay to everyone, I wish you luck on your road to recovery and that you may always have an extra spoon when you need it most!

Richard Armitage 31 Day Challenge: Day 3 A scene which made you laugh.

Pretty much the first time I saw Sir Guy scowl in Robin Hood. Richard was so brilliant at conveying disgust with everything! Those thin lips pulling back in a sneer, the eye roll, the arms crossing, the entire, “if minds could kill, you’d all be so very dead” attitude… Long before I got caught up in the drama of his love for Marian, I was watching each episode just to see Richard pulling that disdain face.

Berica Week: How do they say “I love you” for the first time?

The first time Boyd saw her, she didn’t see him. She always had her head down, her eyes casted downwards as if she was carefully watching each step she took. 

She never saw him.

But he always saw her.

In the future when they have kids, he would always tell this part as the day he just knew that he got himself a crush.

She would always respond with a laugh, and joke that it was the day she had stolen his heart. She would rush to give him a quick peck on the lips before looking at him with a big grin on her face as their kids yelled out ‘tell me more!’

The first time Erica sees him, he smiled. 

To her, it was like the clouds had parted on the rainy day. Like a sunset slowly fading into the night sky. It was like a breath of fresh air. A transformation just waiting to begin. A start of something new.

He was her bright sun, even when he repeatedly told her that she was the sun and he was merely her moon.

When she got a job at Mama’s Bakery, the first thing she asked Mama to teach her to bake was a cookie. She gave Boyd one of the successful ones, a cookie in the shape of a sun.


The first time they went on a date, they were nervous in different ways. Erica had butterflies in her stomach. She was excited, but also a little frightened. Even if she gained a ton of confidence with her change in looks, she was still the same girl. She’s scared that he would leave because of that.

Boyd couldn’t stop shaking. His knees were shaking so much, and his vision swam like he was going to faint on the spot. His palms haven’t stopped sweating since the day Erica had asked him out. 

He took a deep breath. 

Everything is going to be fine. 

Everything is going to be just fine.

And it was.


The first time they said “I love you” was when Erica was working behind the counter at Mama’s Bakery, and Boyd was patiently waiting for her shift to end. It was the end of the day, and the constant flow of customers had moved to a slow crawl. There were no customers in the shop and Boyd sat on one of the high stools, pen in hand, helping her write out her ideas of arguments for her next essay as she cleaned the counters.

She was thinking of another argument when she looked up, and saw him smiling at her. That rare smile of his that he showed only to her. The one that meant he was super happy. And his smile coupled with the sunset in the glistening behind him through the front window did it for her.

“Hey.” He spoke, breaking her thoughts. His smile faded a bit, turning into a more casual one. “You got kind of lost there. What are you thinking about?”


“Hmm. Care to share?”

“I love you.” She blurted, her face turning red.

He looked at her. That beautiful smile returning to his face.

“I love you too.”

1st grade internalized racism(?)

When I was in the first grade I decided to wear my hair out for one day in its natural Afro state for the first time vet and….in my predominately white class, I was mocked,made fun of, and laughs at because of how big it was. Even my teacher laughed and I have never been more embarrassed and they told me to look in the mirror and I saw myself, and teared up an never wore it like that again.I literally went home an dreamt of having straight hair. From that day forward for seven years I never wore my hair out and loose because I thought it was ugly and was terrified of being made fun of again. It took me till THIS year to let my hair out an accept myself…even now I’m still subconscious…rlly….puts things into perspective….pls protect kids with nappy hair or an Afro.

I just found this pic of a 17/18yr old me.
I remember this day vividly. I had recently broken up with my first boyfriend and for a very long time I felt unattractive and undesirable. This particular day I was getting ready to meet my cousin in central LDN. I put on this dress (hadn’t worn one in ages, I preferred baggy jeans and track suits) and I remember looking in the mirror and for the first time in my teenage life I saw myself as beautiful. I acknowledged and accepted that I was beautiful. I remember laughing a lot this day.
This day was the beginning of my journey towards self love and this picture reminds me of how far I’ve come. I’m so proud of myself and everyone else that has decided that ‘self love is the best love.’

You’re all beautiful. Honestly.

Next time you look at me with those cold eyes, remember how it felt when I was the first thing you saw in the morning.

Remember the nights when you were sleeping with your arms wrapped around me and everytime I tried to move you would pull me closer.

Remember the days we spent talking about the future and how you said that you’re going to marry me one day.

Remember my stupid little habits and my silly panic attacks that made you laugh everytime.

Next time you look at me with those cold eyes, remember to admit to yourself that I am not the only one who fell in love.

—  those cold eyes used to be so fucking warm.

anonymous asked:

17, 18, 25, 26. 29, 30, 33, 37, 40

17. I love making people laugh :3

18. I have an obsession with James Deen, no I didn’t spell that wrong

25. Worst thing… Hmmm I’d rather not go into it but basically sexual assault

26. Best thing ever, I mean I feel really lucky that my family is so cool and loving and fun so can I pick being born I to my family?

29. I try to forget all of my mistakes and live in the now

30. Read the book then watch the movie

33. Best day of my life… Hmmm I really liked the day I went and saw grouplove and Mumford and sons in concert with my sister. The day I met my first love was aight too

37. Not really anything near death, one time when I was younger I was looking down while walking and walked I to a crosswalk and almost got hit by a car but my dad grabbed my shirt and pulled me back onto the sidewalk so that was cool of him. Also I fell face first into a
Giraffe cage once

40. I hella believe in love

anonymous asked:

Hiya huffylemon! Look. I love you and I love your blog. But seriOUSLY WHY THE HELL DO YOU KEEP REBLOGGING THAT CRAZY CHICKEN EYED LADY SHE HAUNTS MY NIGHTMARES AND I LITERALLY SCREAM EVERY TIME I SEE HER. So yeah. If you could never do that again. Thanks! Have a fabulous day!!!! ❤️

haha thanks! I love that post so much, I laughed so hard the first time I saw it! But yeah I can see why you’d have the nightmares…have a great day too!

A list: the most tiring, most full day ever.

  • My assigned nurse had a very thick accent, so it was hard to understand 100% of what she said, but she knew that and was very understanding about it.
  • My patient assignment had a very rich, NPR kind of voice. He busted up laughing when I told him so and continued to be pleasant throughout the day. I was so sad when he had to spend the rest of the day at another unit.
  • Saw my first rapid response on the tele unit. The ICU nurse in charge was student-friendly and let us watch their process, grilled us (in the nicest way possible) about the patient’s condition and the meds that were ordered for it, and let us follow the patient down to ICU. He also called our professor and verbally gave us gold stars for being smart and running around the floor bringing him whatever was needed. Woohoo.
  • Helped discharge patients for the first time today. I successfully did not run anyone’s wheelchair into anything.
  • Walked in on a patient who was doing things that should not be done in a hospital room where people are constantly walking in and out… also her door was open… like why would you even…?
  • Vitals. Accucheck. Vitals. Accucheck. Vitals. Accucheck.
  • I only sat down for a total of 30 minutes out of 10 hours on the floor and have yet to ever go on break at this particular hospital.
  • I almost fell asleep on the road countless times.
  • I didn’t realize how tired my legs were until I basically collapsed onto the stairs and didn’t move for a good five minutes as soon as I got home.
  • Now for 3 hours of homework for tomorrow’s 7AM.
☆Hillary’s Update☆

This week has been busy and almost a blur!
I closed the store each day this week and continue to do the same next week. Tomorrow is my last day before my two day break. I don’t feel overwhelmed or dreading work at all. I enjoy it. My co-workers are great and fun. Today there was a new co-worker I was supposed to meet for the first time, but it turns out I knew her from waaay back to kindergarten! When we saw each other this morning, we stared at each other in the eyes at first and laughed. We knew each other right away. She is a sweet girl and we had fun talking about elementary school days and high school. Anyways, that was a highlight of the day.

Another highlight was that on the way home I got a free coffee and cookie from starbucks because their servers were down. Haha aw yeaaah. It was meant to be that I impulsively crossed the street from waiting for my bus at the bus stop to try and get caffeine. ^-^ Free foooood (and coffee) = Happy Hillary

April 19th

For the very first time since the day I met you, I forgot your birthday. The day had been so serene, so full, that I almost felt in my chest that something was missing. Missing but not necessary. It wasn’t until I dropped my mom off at the panaderia that I saw baby Kevin, whom innocently asked me if I was going to join him and your sisters at the park to celebrate your birthday. I laughed, the way I always laugh when Kevin or Nathaly ask about us, or make certain comments that reflect their denial of us ever breaking up. Actually, it was more of an explosion. Something that shook the ground, cracked it open, something that affected not just us but everyone close to us. It was like a famous celebraty had died and all the fans mourned, mourned for not just a day or two but weeks. After I caught my breath, I jokily said “Pues no me invitaron” and with his 4 or 5 year old voice said that I didn’t need invitation, and your sister, his mother laughed because she and I both know that an invitation is never needed for me. I am still seen as your families favorite, I am still invited to all the family gatherings, to the sunday strolls to la pulga, I am still theirs. And in their minds, and in their hearts they truly believe that one day you and I will reconcile and that our love will rekindle and burn just as much as it did years ago. How we could walk into the mall, or at the park, and the heat would be so strong it would melt the hearts of all people that laid eyes on our intertwined hands. How it burned marks onto the skins of other couples that watched us be everything that they were hoping to become. I still remember. I know you remember. These are memories that will never be let go.They hang on my soul like a piece of art at a museum. So close but will be left untouched and only visited occasionally, maybe on special occasions. 

I helped Belen set the cake in the trunk of her car before i headed to my own and before she closed it Kevin stood there and with a very disappointed face asked me “ Please Ale, porque no quieres venir”, and there is no easy way to tell my nephew; i say nephew because he has become a part of my family and although his uncle and I are no longer together he will always remain my nephew and I will always remain his aunt, that I simply do not want to. That I no longer want to share special moments like today with him and even if I did go, which I considered for an instant, I would make her feel so uncomfortable. She would sit there and watch his family flock to me, love me, create memories, and crack jokes in a language she is trying to learn but will never own. I could, but that is not me, the thought makes me laugh and smile i have to admit but its also cruel. I am not cruel. I am not her. She was once my friend and although she has done what she did, I am not her and I cannot purposely cause pain to others. The pain she caused me could be argued to be unintentional and id believe it if she had confronted me about the situation mujer to mujer before she slept with him, maybe even after, but woman to woman. She didn’t and that is okay, it takes a specific type of breed to have that type of courage, a brown breed, she will never be Mexicana and that will haunt her for as long as they are together and If it is forever then forever it will sting her. When she see’s herself in the family pictures, standing out like a block of ice in the middle of palletas de fruita fresca. That is a pain that I will not know and I do not feel right inflicting any more pain then she already has to bear. Especially when they all know her for what she has done. 

“ A la orta kevin”, assuring him that perhaps next time will join them on this date for a celebration but not today. Today, I have chosen to come to the starbucks next to the panaderia and finish all my homework while my mom is working. Waiting for time to pass so that she and I can go home. I texted you Happy birthday and you responded and that is as much as we can share, even if we both have each other marked on our hearts, the reality is next year i’ll probably forget your birthday again, I have erased it from my important dates list in my head, i have let it go, like our anniversary, like our love, like you.

-Alejandra Reyes  ( 

90 day LDR challenge

Day 5: How did you meet? Tell us your story!

Our first encounter was in the hall my freshman year I was with my friends trying to get to our next class when this guy is just standing in the middle of the hall blocking the way and he wouldn’t move I grew impatient so I shoved him a bit and said get the f*** out of my way causing him to get annoyed and walk away. Later the same day the same guy is walking towards my group of friends with one of my best friends of the time boyfriend . We instantly had an attitude towards each other until I saw his eyes I thought he has really pretty eyes, turns out I had said that out loud and he looked at me funny and I instantly turned bright red and he laughed and said “bipolar much” I laughed and introduced myself and apologized for the incident that occurred earlier in the day and he accepted it from then on we were best friends three years and now dating 2 years (:

So I eventually gotta see you today, of course. I knew I was haha. Cause I wanted to. Today was an emotional day for me. First it was me crying this morning about you forgetting that I was gonna see you, when really I never said anything and was mixing up my days. And then later that night, you dead legged me and gave me a bruise on my thigh and made me cry and laugh haahahaa. It hurt so bad that I cried, but it was funny at the same time. I was laughing for a good hour cause you would keep touching or talk about it and it made me cry haahaa. That’s the first time you saw me cry and you were all over me and making fun of me cause of how emotional i was ahahah. Overall, pretty fun day as usual. Weird and emotional, but fun still. 

OOOO! I got to hold Sophia too! She’s so cute! D;;;;;;

if only he saw what I see. how happy I’d make him. listen to him talk about his bad days, fear, anxieties, not talk back but just listen. And when he’s ready reassure him that he’s onto something. when his back hurts from working all day, kiss it and massage it till he falls asleep in my arms. go out with him and watch him fall prey to the fact that I like to dance so that eventually he starts to sway with me. lay in bed and watch movies we both love and makeout when his Netflix freezes. show each other new music constantly, peeking into his brain and his into mine. Making each other laugh till it hurts, sitting and just talking over Apple pies for hours. Getting fat together but eating healthy together too. Going to get empanadas and Mexican cokes just like we did the first time we hung out. Kissing me when we get in the car and taking my breath away like he always did. sliding his hand between my legs and making me feel it everywhere. Exchanging more secrets and trust as we fuck, letting him into the darkest corners of my mind bc I know he wants to see them and will never judge. Listening to him be condescending and cringe, but knowing this asshole is mine. Share new experiences together, feeling his hand between mine….feeling his art on my body. If only.

growing gardens

This month’s Mother Goose Time theme is “Growing Gardens”. I feel like this theme is such an important one to experience for young children. We plan on having a big garden this summer, and it’s really cool to see Zo become so excited about it. ^ When I opened my May box up, the first thing I saw was the book of the month– “Lettuce Turnip the Beet!”. Full of really cute plant-related jokes, colors and counting. I’m not sure Zo understood most of the jokes, but she laughed at every single one :)

^ Finally have a place to store my monthly curriculum! $10 Goodwill purchase, reupholstered by my very talented step mother. I love that it keeps my stuff uncluttered and out of the way while we aren’t using it. 

^Day one: Soil.

^ This is what was inside our first day-pack. Name tags to practice writing, theme poster and a science project.

^ I absolutely love this project. Over the next few weeks, Zo will get to observe & record her own tiny plant growing. 

^ After our first day, the only thing she wanted to do was play in the dirt and in her sandbox. I loved watching her imagination run wild as she would pretend to plant seeds and watch them grow into all sorts of silly things. I can’t wait to post more on this subject as we DIG deeper into it (ha, see what I did there!? ;)

At 2:52am, Im thinking back to the day we first met, August 1st 2013 at Purley Station, platform 4, you came round that corner, and I smiled when I saw you, I was nervous but excited, it wasn’t awkward at all, we joked and non stop spoke, and from that day we started learning about each other, I listened to some songs you liked in McDonalds saying your music taste was rubbish, you took a mug shot of me whilst eating, that was such a bad mugshot, we laughed at the 2 fat people in floral clothes, you laughed at me when I got wound up at being on a hot stuffy bus that wouldn’t move, you then took a picture of us to remember that day, it was such a good day, then when it was time to say goodbye and we waited for your train, I just wanted to kiss you so bad but I was nervous, then thankfully on platform 5, Purley Station despite the stares we got afterwards, we kissed, it was special, we laughed half way through it because it made us so happy, but we both loved it, I’d love to re live that day with you.

Another time I remember, was the first time you saw me cry, we were in the woods in Horsham, I remember tearing up and trying my absolute hardest to not cry at the fact I thought I’d lost my chance with you, and whilst your head was against my chest and my hand in your hair and the other holding you around the shoulder keeping you close, you asked if I was crying, and thats when I burst into tears, I remember you telling me to stop whilst wiping away my tears and then cuddling me again, regularly checking if tears are still falling until they stopped.

Will you take my hand and just make some more memories with me and care for each other again like we did at the beginning? Just let me know when you’re ready baby.

So there’s this really attractive guy I work with at the restaurant I’m employed at. I only saw/met him for the first time on Wednesday but he was staring at me all night. I had the next day off so I went down with my sister for lunch because she wanted to see where I work. I wasn’t even aware he was working that day, let alone the day shift, and he was our server. He was joking with me and my sister then he suddenly asked when I work next (fidgeting a bit awkwardly). I told him I worked Friday night and he was like, “oh… I have tomorrow night off… But I’ll be here Saturday! And Sunday and Monday and Tuesday and Wednesday and Thursday! Pretty much every day but Friday.” So I just laughed and said he was lucky to have Friday off and he shrugged with a grin and walked away. Well, I went in to work last night and guess who was there eating. Mhm. He kept joking with me and talking with me until he left. Maybe it’s just wishful thinking but I think someone has a crush on me. ;)