the-fantasy-room

10

I have my room, or apartment as I like to say, finished! For the most part anyways.
It’s snug, but it gives off a warm and welcoming vibe, yeah?

It’s a one bedroom consisting of a small living room, decorated in a sorta Tonberry look.
I really enjoy the warm colors of the tonberry, or maybe I just love shades of pink.
Anyways, across from the living room is the kitchen. With a two person staff to run it.
Without room for a proper dinning area I went with more of a bar/island situation.
Though I feel that it adds to that small apartment look.
Between the two areas is a door that leads to the hallway, which I really wish I could have decorated since it’s so bare, but I was already running out of room at this point.
A sharp left with lead you into the bathroom (minus the toilet) but there is a big tub and a shower, along with a towel to dry off with.
Back into the hall with a few steps down it to your right you’ll find my bedroom.
Simple in design, but everything a single goof of a miqo'te could need.

And that’s it, thanks for taking a peek at my home!

The room was like nothing Sara had ever seen: It was like starlight had been poured into the floor and the walls had been painted with the sounds of spring. It was as if the room was designed by an architect unburdened by the limits of structure or dimension or a an author unburdened by actually having to describe anything.

3

//Puke!//

Sometimes I enjoy puking, it’s like cleansing my body and throwing all the nasty things out, but even some of the nasty things can juice up your life.


I scan the pencil sketch and color it on Photoshop, givin’ a lose and messy vibe which I totally dig it, it’s more “lively” than my digital illustration xoxo


Instagram

2

In two days, it will be 2 months on T.
My IG is more complete regarding my transitional feelings: @truestelf

“I don’t wait on my transition to get something special, I waited on something special to get my transition.” - meaning I just embrace my body, and appreciate without pressure everything he gives me. After the nightmare of the previous years, everything is a sweet. No need for speed, no room for fantasies of what masculinity should or shouldn’t be on my body.

But let’s start this way:
I am finally living and never realized I was a zombie before, until life felt on my head and hit me with an infinite amount of sweet emotions, since my body is medicated, and powerful feelings of being There. I am no longer dissociated, and I am a soul, a mind, inside a body. I am capable, I have a future. It really does get better!
What was I before?! I am full of love for the being I was, struggling and brave, persistant, who embraced his truth to put me here, born, into life.

Here are the physical changes:
- I am called “sir” (since 3 weeks on T but I just thought people made a mistake because of the light or whatever), and it is a BIG relief! 🙌
- Huge voice drop but in two tones; a higher and a lower. You can here it on my IG.
- I apparently grew and am growing, ~0.8 inches. I don’t know how much is related to T itself, natural growth or standing straighter because of the growth of my back muscles.
- My body perfume has changed a lot! Nothing bad however; it’s just different.
- I sweat a lot, like before, but now a lot more is situated in my back and on the torso. It’s even fizzy, or is it just because my hair grows?
- My muscles have grown a giant lot and are very hard! I’ll post comparison pictures later in my transition.
- My beard is born (see it on my IG) ! Yaaay! And my moustache that I had before T grown much thicker.
- Hair appeared or reinforced on my body: face, arms, legs, some areas…, stomach a bit and reinforced happy trail (pictures later in my transition), birth on chest.
- Bottom growth, length and width of my thumb now (more easier to watch movies). Excuse me.
- My fat has been redistributed a bit?!
- My Adam’s apple is a bit more prominent.
- My face is more square, more massive, and I am very surprised when I step in front of a mirror! Who’s that guy? Could it be me, finally, after all those years of struggle? I’ll post comparison pictures later in the day.

Emotional changes and the modifications of feelings in my body:
- LIFE FLOWING THROUGH ALL MY CELLS! FINALLY!
- My body used to be depressed. Not myself, but my body to be exact:
I had many light and happy intentions, thoughts and purposes but my body couldn’t keep the rhythm. I did it all right but all went systematically wrong. I had no energy, no strength to study. It felt like I was profoundly ill, and I felt very strongly this huge pain and unsuitable feminine hormone reigning inside my assaulted body. It was unbearable, terrible, and too often I held my head into my hands like if my “male brain” was hurt in the fight against my body and that I tried to heal him with an impossible touch. Now, not only it’s gone, but it also becomes better each day. 🌟
- I can access my deeper emotions; It is like if they were locked before, and that they were blurred by the disconnection that puberty brought.
- Happiness is full, and it makes me confident: I lose my fear to talk or even to appear outside, along the journey, because I feel I am no longer into this despicable lie where people addressed my body instead of my soul. Not only they address my soul now, but I, also, adress my soul. Being friends with men - between guys like in my childhood - is not just a memory; I am positively apprehensive but it’s definitely coming and I can’t wait to enter my first year of university as a male in mid-september! I hope friendship with girls won’t change too much, but I guess I always was kind of a male for them too.

- My name will be officially changed around mid-august, I hope, if it doesn’t take too long.

Here we are now! If you have any question, just ask me!
Whoever is reading this, I hope you are aware that things really get better. It’s not just sweet words to comfort your heart, it is truly what happens when we can live at our fullest. And when you reach this fullest, no matter how long or how fast it takes, it’s only the Beginning of Everything.
You Matter, Your Body matters, whatever it is, whichever your way to express it, and remember that you, only, are the master of your truth in all way possible: you know it better than anyone else, plus you are the first one and the last one able to touch, modify and handle it. You’re a big boss, but sometimes this truth is just hidden. Have a great day, beautiful you!
💙💚💛💜