Ex-Hasidic Jew, Cut Off from Her Family After Leaving the Faith, Jumps to Her Death July 22, 2015 by

Hemant Mehta

If you are a former Orthodox Jew, be sure to check out Footsteps. And if you’re thinking about taking your life, the National Suicide Prevention Line is at 1-800-273-8255.

Faigy Mayer was a former Hasidic Jew who left the faith about six years ago. When you’re an ex-Hasid, it means you’re essentially cut off from your family. They want nothing to do with you anymore. So not only are you alone, there’s a good chance you have little formal education or fluency in English.

Mayer got past that, though. She made new friends. She learned how to code and was working on an app to help other ex-Hasids navigate New York City. She was a member of a group called Footsteps, which helps other ex-Hasids. But nothing could overcome being cut off from her family, a loss that may have worsened her own depression.

On Monday night, the 30-year-old Mayer apparently jumped off the top of a 20-story bar to end her life.

While her friends are obviously devastated, the parents who had cut her off years ago didn’t seem to feel the same way:

Chava Mayer told Daily Mail Online: ‘I don’t want to say anything. What am I supposed to say: That she’s a wonderful person? No, we don’t want to comment.‘

That’s not to say she’s not overwhelmed and saddened by the loss. It’s just odd to me that she wouldn’t say anything nice… (To be fair, it was the Daily Mail. A lot of people wouldn’t want to comment to them.)

Libelle Polaki, a friend of Mayer’s, told the media outlet why it was necessary to leave the faith in the first place:

‘The religious lifestyle was not for her. It would never have allowed her to have her own life and her own personality.

‘We went to an extremely strict high school. It was very tough.

‘She didn’t want to be a mom with 20 kids.

‘She didn’t want to be restricted, she wanted her freedom to pursue her talents and she was very clever.

‘She had friends in the last few years who supported her for who she was.’

I will never understand parents who want nothing to do with their child because she dared to think for herself. It’s not limited to ex-Hasids, of course, but we’re all aware of religious groups that treat apostasy as a crime. It’s even more jarring when you see the life and humor in Mayer’s social media. None of that takes away from — or contradicts — the depression she was feeling inside. But if you didn’t know her well, it’s possible you didn’t know how bad things really were.

Shulem Deen, a board member of Footsteps, was kind enough to share his thoughts on the loss of Mayer with me:

I was friends with Faigy, ever since I met her about five years ago at a gathering with other ex-Hasidim, though we weren’t particularly close. I know that she tried really hard to move ahead with her life, and she was passionate about the tech initiatives she’d started. But she also seemed broken by her family and former community’s mistreatment of her. I don’t know the details of her relationship with her family, but it seemed to be a major stressor in her life. Her family did not accept her choice to leave the Hasidic community, that much is clear — and they weren’t shy about making it clear to her, by withdrawing support even when she was going through very difficult periods.

In a broader sense: among the many issues faced by ex-Hasidim is mistreatment by family and former community. Those who leave are shunned and ostracized, and rebuilding a life, an identity, a community, a sense of purpose, becomes all the more challenging when so many people you know are openly hostile and judgmental of your life choices.

Suicide isn’t a simple issue, of course, and I wouldn’t feel comfortable placing blame purely on her family or former community. (I have no doubt her family is now grieving and in great pain.) But for [ex-Hasidim], mistreatment by family and former community is routine, and is a significant contributor to feelings of aloneness and hopelessness, and so I think this is something to take take into account in the broader sense.

Welcome to the BJD tumblr community, where people find a reason to be offended by everything instead of using their brains and not being whiny fucking children over what is essentially nothing. No wonder so many people look down on this hobby.


anonymous asked:

What are your thoughts and that reply you got on that "but is it biblical" post?

Besides “Lulz”?
Holy projection batman!

“Don’t twist the meaning of phrases to criticize the evangelicals who say them. It’s not what Christ does.“

Hella anachronistic.

“We’re all getting exhausted with followers of Eastern Orthodoxy saying ridiculous things like this.“

I feel like how N.T. Wright must have felt when he wrote Justification to respond to John Piper.  Essentially, “Interesting point, but nothing to do what I was saying…so let me explain…”

Not once was evangelicals mentioned. This had nothing to do with Eastern Orthodoxy or evangelicalism or denominations but Christology and hermeneutics and an improper ‘flat reading’ of Scripture [in fact, Brian McLaren, a Protestant theologian has an excellent book critiquing and offers a better way to approach the library of divinely inspired books we call ‘The Bible’].  Unfortunately many laity cherry-pick verses to support any agenda–as long as they can find 'scriptural support.’ While at the same time, many non-christians approach the scriptures in a similar fashion, i.e. reading Genesis 1-2 as a divinely inspired science text book, or simple 'inconsistencies,’ and therefore reject them.

Brian Zahnd [a Protestant pastor] has a great quote about the Bible that supplements my quote: “The Bible is the word of God that bears witness to the Word of God — Jesus Christ…What the Bible does infallibly is point us to Jesus Christ.”

“Also, the phrase “followers of Eastern Orthodoxy” is v funny.

sicktress asked:

Reid - Bathroom!


  • How does the character prepare in the morning?

well, the morning?  is that a thing??  reid stays up way too late for morning readiness.  and in the supreme unfairness of all things, he just rolls out of bed and looks great.

  • Do they sing in the shower?

reid prefers baths.  there is only singing sometimes.  mostly sad songs.

  • What kind of hair product/make-up do they use?

oils and perfumes, a touch of kohl around his eyes.

  • How clean is this character?

hygiene is on his to-do list, lol.  if there isn’t a bath available he’s not above scrubbing in a pond.  or bucket.

  • Does the character have thousands of shampoo/shower gel bottles by the shower, or do they use only the bare essentials?

he’ll use whatever is around ^^  everything or nothing!  his favorite bath is a bath that has another person in it.  <3


“- the shotel was a true sickle-sword once used in ancient Ethiopia. Its shape made it extremely difficult to block with another sword or even a shield—shotel would just curve around it to puncture the defender. Despite that and its vicious appearance, it was almost universally considered useless.

The hilt was too small for a large, scythe-shaped blade, which made it an unwieldy weapon to hold or aim properly. Fighting with a shotel proved quite difficult. Because of the shape of the blade, even drawing it from its scabbard was somewhat awkward. Scabbards stretched a foot longer than the swords themselves and were worn pointing behind the owner, which meant drawing it with the blade facing the correct way required a large bend of the wrist. 

European accounts of the weapon were extremely negative, and even the Ethiopians themselves considered shotels little more than ornamental. They had a saying about the shotels that essentially deemed the weapons useful for nothing more than impressing women. We suppose some weapons were just meant for a different kind of battle.” 

anonymous asked:

Please right a fanfic where Claire is taking a bath then Owen sneaks up and suprises her then they have a little water fight! Ahh that would be so cute

Home is whenever I’m with you…

Tranquil days ceased to exist for Claire Dearing, although it never did in the first place. Ever since Jurassic World, her life had been set on fast forward. She couldn’t even remember the last time she had taken the time to unwind and focus on herself for just a few moments. Today would be the day, and nothing could possibly ruin it.

Keep reading

Unless you have investigated a problem, you will be deprived of the right to speak on it. Isn’t that too harsh? Not in the least. When you have not probed into a problem, into the present facts and its past history, and know nothing of its essentials, whatever you say about it will undoubtedly be nonsense. Talking nonsense solves no problems, as everyone knows, so why is it unjust to deprive you of the right to speak? Quite a few comrades always keep their eyes shut and talk nonsense, and for a Communist that is disgraceful. How can a Communist keep his eyes shut and talk nonsense?

It won’ t do!

It won’t do!

You must investigate!

You must not talk nonsense!

—  Mao Zedong

anonymous asked:

dont understand why formerly colonized countries are prone to corruption. we're finally free then we're not. being cheated by my own countrymen bums me out tbh. i want to leave for the west but the west is shit too :/

When you’re left stripped of your resources, all past progress left in vain, devastating insecurities and self-hate that ruins morale, broken kinship, and an economy in ruins, it makes it easier for corrupt politicians to climb their way up. You’re essentially starting from nothing. Less than nothing. 


hey. so my names jasmine. idk if anyone’s gonna take the time to read this. and idk if anyone even cares but i just wanted to share that i recently lost a big part of my life. actually the most important person to me. June 8, 2015 my father passed away of natural causes (ruptured aneurism). My father was in Emory Undergoing numerous surgeries and procedures to try and save his life. He was in the hospital for an entire week. He was in a coma the whole time and I never got to speak with him while he was on his death bed. When he passed my entire family came together and had a beautiful memorial service for him where we all contributed to the funds. My father was cremated and his ashes buried. He has no headstone though. It only costs $1500 and if my family were to come together again to pay for it, it’d cost essentially nothing. But they’re not trying to do that. My mother and father were never married so me being his oldest child I am next of kin. I inherited everything that was his though it wasn’t much. I also inherited his hospital expenses which left me millions of dollars in debt at only 18 years old I was forced to file bankruptcy. All I want, and my 15yr old sister want is for a simple headstone to mark where my fathers ashes lie. He is buried right next to his mother who also passed 25yrs ago by the same cause. I wants fathers name on a headstone next to his mothers so people can visit him and so I can visit him and so people don’t forget my father. I made a gofundme because I have run out of options. I hate to ask for handouts but there’s nothing else I can do. If you’ve taken the time to read all of this then you have already given me all that I ask of you. The rest is up to you but I am already thankful that you’ve given me your time. If you’d like to help furthermore here is the link to my gofundme. ( Thank you.

50¢ or $50, anything helps and is greatly appreciated A simple reblog would be equally appreciated.

you know just because the Gems are essentially ageless there’s nothing that really says they can’t look wrinkly and stuff

tiny old lady gems

- Clone cultures vary between company, especially if the commanding Jedi tries to include their men in their native culture

-Every clone is a brother (not necessarily in terms of gender) and they consider each other to be very close. They’re more than just friends but the relationship is nothing romantic/sexual (essentially QP relationship)

-There’s a term for the closest brothers (that I have yet to come up with, but I like brothers-by-choice [from reulte]). They have a QP relationship and are as close as two clones can get.

-Being a brother means more than just that person being a clone. It also means one would provide moral, emotional, or physical support or give their lives for their brothers.

-On that note: “disowning” one’s brother is when you brake all bonds you’ve formed with that person. It means you would not risk your life to save theirs or provide emotional support for them. It does not have to be mutual, but in most cases when a clone is disowned, it’s returned. Disowning a brother is not taken lightly, and shame is normally put on both parties.

-Clones have their own language. Each company has their own “dialect” and certain words can vary between them. There are Basic words (i.e. clankers, Ahsoka’s use of the word “tinny”) and then there are words they make up.

-There’s the base language that is rumored to have started on Kamino, and as each battalion spends time away from each other thye form the dialects

-The Command Clones get together every once in a while to figure out the differences in the languages

-The clones have their own hierarchy of most important to “least” important clone outside of standard rank. The medics are at the top because they never divulge information and are always open to listening. Command clones are second and then closes brothers are third and tertiary.


-Again, Religion varies between companies.

-However, most clones believe there is an afterlife for them, no matter what they did or didn’t do during the war. They believe they will see their brothers and live happily with them for eternity.

-There aren’t any “gods” per se, but some clones will hope (they don’t say pray often) to whoever’s listening that they’ll make it through a battle with their brothers

-Some will hold onto something special from another brother, and that would almost be like a prayer/offering that they’ll make it out alive (likely because they have to go and collect their item from the other clone).

-Clones believe they’re bonded through souls, and the clones with QPPs are guaranteed to see each other in the afterlife.

-They also believe clones with these relationships can feel each other’s emotions, even when they’re sleeping. This is supported by the fact that one Commander had a nightmare and woke up, and right after that his soul-brother (?) woke up and tried to comfort him. The first hadn’t made a noise.

-Some clones were known to adopt the religions of their generals.

anonymous asked:

A little boy puts on a princess crown. Trans activists: "SHE'S A LITTLE GIRL NOW." Radfems: "or he just put a chunk of shiny plastic on his head and that is symbolic of nothing." Transactivists: "NO. IT'S A LITTLE GIRL."


—Mod Neo

Saying "I'll pray for you", "Sending Prayers" etc. is a Cop Out.

Been thinking about this a lot lately, particularly on Facebook and social media, when someone is suffering due to a death in the family, an injury, loss of employment. Religious folks are so quick to all chime in, one after another, with this sentiment. What percentage of them actually go kneel by the bed at night(or however) and take the time to mumble some prayers and follow up on this? I suspect very, very few.. Not to mention the fact that it does essentially nothing. Wouldn’t the world be a better place if people didn’t have this easy way out? Wouldn’t people be more compelled to actually DO SOMETHING? Cook them a casserole, or give them a referral for a job? Even rack their brain just a little bit, to see if they can actually help in some way? I’m sick of it, how could you possibly bring this up to a religious person without insulting them, or somehow bring attention to this?

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anonymous asked:

I honestly would not have pegged Aussie as an engineer because a) he doesn't mention it 12 times a day like all the ones I go to school with and b) he doesn't have a superiority complex. Anyways congrats on the new job and I promise that wasn't a backhanded compliment lol

At the end of the day it’s just a job (and between you and I nonnie, it’s not even that hard. The degree is tricky but the job is essentially technically oriented middle management). Most engineering grads tend to have a holier than thou attitude until they realize that your degree only qualifies you for an entry level job in a field where EVERYONE has a degree so it’s worth essentially nothing and you still have to start at the bottom.


There’s some people claiming that Pearl is incredibly guilt-tripping and abusive but what they don’t seem to understand is that whilst Pearl isn’t exactly flawless, she is at heart a good character, as are the rest of the cast.

Sworn to the Sword gave a lot of people the wrong idea of Pearl, I think. She instills a really self destructive mindset into Connie, and everyone recognises that it’s wrong and tries to fix it. She also confuses Steven for Rose, but I think that these are not intentionally ‘abusive’ acts but are unintentional products of her grief for Rose’s death. They’re also evidence of her own self-hatred, and are the result of a selfless choice to help Connie learn to swordfight. She is not a manipulative person, but her own lack of self esteem causes her to see Connie as herself and essentially call herself nothing, or worthless. She’s speaking to herself in Do it For Her, not Connie.

It’s clear that Pearl wouldn’t even dream of abusing Steven or Connie, or the other Crystal Gems. She makes mistakes, but at heart cherishes Steven and his friends, being fiercely protective and loving of Steven as the good thing that came out of Rose’s death, and recognises and appreciates him as an individual as opposed to simply 'another Rose’. She can be really mean to Amethyst, but cards about her at heart and most of their fights are simple bickering at worst.

Pearl is clearly not over Rose’s death. It clouds her view of life and the people around her, but it does not make her a completely heartless being. Fans have a tendency to twist her actions to the worst degree because they are most visibly wrong, but she’s not the only guilty party, and her flaws are vital to her character.

All of the gems are flawed. They’re meant to be flawed. They’re not meant to be perfect. They all do bad things along the way, not just Pearl. Amethyst can be rebellious and prone to starting fights and messing up, and Garnet can be arrogant sometimes due to her leader status and cast away the other gems at times when they need to act as a team. The gems aren’t supposed to be hated for their mistakes, though. They’re supposed to be equally likeable characters.

Sure, what Pearl has done in the past cannot be excused, per se, but you can’t just call her a terrible character and cast her aside just because it’s easier to pick out her flaws.

llioon asked:

Alfred is a bro and when Bruce has a partner over before and after he is with Clark .He sets up all the essentials and restocks the lube and condoms. Needless to say Alfred has some military grade ear plugs when Bruce is gonna frickle frackle.

Alfred is just so great. I love him so fucking much like, Alfred just needs a show all to himself. If he can, with a straight face, get the essentials for Bruce during and after the frickle frackle, then he is nothing other than a saint. He is amazing and perfect and I love him.

And I bet Bruce’s bum appreciates him as well.