therapy session went well? question mark?

i did end up showing her the email where i explained my experience with npd, and she was super validating. she said that this definitely seems to be a real thing i’m struggling with.

she also asked me if i had ever looked into other personality disorders, and i vaguely told her that i have, and that i was diagnosed with avoidant personality disorder a few years ago. she then asked, “what about borderline personality disorder?”

so we talked a bit about that, too. i didn’t even need to bring it up with her, she just assumed it on her own.

so, she calls what i’m experiencing “narcissistic and borderline tendencies”, which is fair i suppose, since she hasn’t assessed me and so can’t say anything for sure.

but yeah. i liked her reaction, unlike how it’s gone with most other mental health professionals who’ve essentially told me, “you have nothing more than what you’ve already been diagnosed with.”

i get that the stunts are as frustrating as ever but i wish people would stop and realize that the way stunts work…is that louis and danielle’s teams are coordinating this stuff…everyone knows what’s going to happen…it’s not like danielle is some evil person rubbing her hands and scheming behind louis and his family’s backs trying to make their lives difficult…like…i don’t know how to put this but the past few days have been so frustrating because i feel like a lot of people are losing sight of what a stunt is…i don’t like danielle either and there are plenty of valid things to criticize her for but to act like she’s an evil bitch going behind louis’ back for posting a picture in a shirt or with his sisters or something is…just another way of turning louis into a helpless victim and it makes me really uncomfortable on a lot of levels. he knows what’s happening and OF COURSE i know that this is the furthest thing from what he wants, but it’s not like he opens up his phone in shock at whatever minor social media thing danielle did today.


Lottie Tomlinson Must Haves – for links, visit my polyvore x

anonymous asked:

Do you really think Ichigo should have been a captain? I don't think he has the qualities of a captain but he has power of a captain. It was made clear in an interview by kubo himself. He thought renji has the power of a captain but not the qualities. And don't you think this ending was inevitable after kubo saying ichigo is human side's protagonist and rukia is shinigami side's in an interview? Cause they were always intended to be separated as death and living like Yhawch said in his last word

I’m not putting this under a cut because I want everyone who comes across it to see it and to consider it as a warning.

Kenpachi doesn’t have the qualities of Captain but he has the power of one. He knows essentially nothing about kidou, hakuda, and hohou, and knows only the very minimum about zanjutsu, if anything. Yoruichi appears to have been a Captain without ever carrying her zanpakutou around when bankai is a prerequisite. The idea of Captain’s having “qualities” is already undermined by virtue of who is employed.

All that truly matters is combat effectiveness. In that regard Ichigo far surpasses Renji.

And no, I don’t think it was “inevitable.”

First of all, the dichotomy of Ichigo and Rukia as being “human” and “Shinigami” protagonists should not be taken nearly so literally. Ichigo is the son of a noble Shinigami and pure-blooded Quincy with a Vasto Lorde class Hollow stuffed in his soul. He’s just about the furthest thing from human that there can be in the series, even if he identifies as one.

(We never see, at any point in the series, a true substitute Shinigami, i.e., a normal human who is bestowed Shinigami powers.)

Even if one decides to, you know, ignore that and what it clearly means, here’s an interesting fact about humans: they die.

Ichigo is already technically dead! He no longer has a soul chain! Urahara had Tessai cut it in Chapter 60. This was established way back in Chapter 6 as being the metric that defined whether one is dead or alive. In other words, Ichigo died somewhere between July 21 and July 31, 2001.

They shove him back in his body and it still works, but the dude is definitely not a human anymore after that point, ignoring all the wacky nonsense going on with his soul.

This is furthermore reflected in the fact that Ichigo identifies with the Shinigami above all else, as I’ve already explained. Twice. He is deliberately plotting a course that will divorce him from his “human” existence.

Speaking of that, how did Ichigo deal with being a “normal human” again?

Oh, that’s right, he fucking hated it, lied to himself about it being what he always wanted, and was a miserable wreck, and everybody knew it. Look at Keigo’s face. He knows.

Chad sure the hell knows. And after Xcution finally offers Ichigo a path to getting his powers back, who immediately picks up on the change in his attitude?

They sure do look happy for him! Why? Because he’s happy. Gee, sure sounds like a representative of the human world who wanted nothing more than to settle down and play Tekken every day to me!

What is meant by Ichigo’s “humanity” is his perspective and sensibilities (i.e., modern, pseudo-Western ones, valuing things like “human rights” and “freedom of choice” and so on—you know, Humanism), as opposed to those of the Shinigami, who aside from Rukia, operate at about the level of a Bronze Age level enlightened despotism. They appear to have somewhat enlightened policies on gender and perhaps even sexuality, considering, but there is functionally no difference between Yamamoto and say, Genghis Khan.

(Rukia, as pointed out, is a very modern and even rather futuristic thinker who is very at odds with their worldview, which is probably in no small part why everyone thought nothing much of Soul Society’s efforts to crush her. Kaien was much the same. By the way, this is why Rukia is the Shinigami protagonist, because she embodies what they can be, not what they are.)

A brief musical interlude at this point for your patience in making it this far.

They say we are what we are
But we don’t have to be.
I’m bad behavior but I do it in the best way.
I’ll be the watcher (watcher) of the eternal flame.
I’ll be the guard dog of all your fever dreams.

I am the sand in the bottom half of the hourglass (glass, glass)
I try to picture me without you but I can't 

The way the remarks regarding Rukia and Ichigo being the twin protagonists of the “Shinigami” and “human” sides should be read as them coming from different sides of the tracks, not where they reside or where they will remain. Ichigo does everything possible to divorce himself from a human existence and despairs when confronted with it, in addition to literally being of another world to begin with. He simply happened to be born on the wrong side of the tracks.

Which is not to say that he is “of” Soul Society, and especially not the Seireitei, because he isn’t in outlook, and that’s what makes him special. (The same is true of Rukia, who is from Rukongai, and likewise has a different outlook.)

In summary, no, I don’t see there being any textual evidence really linking Ichigo to a mortal existence until Chapter 686, and where I come from that’s what we call a retcon and bad writing.

As a final point, I’m becoming annoyed at some of these asks I’m getting that appear to be consistently interested in insincerely challenging my viewpoint, seemingly deliberately misreading itpresuming things about it, or more generally seem to be about making me waste my time pointing out the obvious.

Now, I don’t know if there’s a concerted effort behind this suddenly happening, or if it’s just a coincidence. I’m disinclined to believe in conspiracy theories, even if the prevalence of these being anonymous asks is mighty suspicious.

However, I’m also rather tired of having to beat the same points into each one of these posts because frankly, I’ve got better shit to do, like work on these prompts people have asked for.

So! In the event that this is part of some effort to waste my time, let me say that I am well aware of this phenomena:

And if that is indeed the aim behind all of this, maybe you think it’s cute or funny and you’re having a laugh. And maybe you’re right, it’s kind of funny. I’d have a laugh about trying hard if I was half my age too.

But the text is there. It exists. It’s not very complicated.

And y’all need to go fuckin’ read it again.

Dear Tai Lopez

AKA This douche:

Congratulations on making an ad so annoying that nobody even knows what it is for, because nobody waits to find out.  In this ad you:

  • Brag about your car
  • Brag about your home in the Hollywood Hills
  • Brag about your collection of books, which seem to be the type of Ted-X Malcolm Gladwell-type books that people like you buy to make themselves seem smart.

And probably a whole bunch of other annoying stuff that I didn’t make it far enough to find out about.  I just wanted to say thank you, because at least according to this reddit thread my reward for making it to the end of your ad would have been a spiel for some self-help guru horseshit.  A lot of potential victims are protected from you by nothing more than your endless stream of humble-bragging smug douchebaggery. 


Oooh. A friend just asked my thoughts on the money situation with writing – why writers don’t talk about it, if it’s impossible to make it without a spouse or financial support, etc.

It’s a complex discussion. The poor thing just got a small book of an answer in her text messages.

I’ll say that in some ways my marriage is backwards, and that I suspect many marriages where one partner is a creative are. Everything rallies to support writing, whether or not money is being made.

Incidentally, that’s exactly the format a marriage takes when a spouse goes through med school. No money is made, but everyone rallies to get through. I know this in a very real writing-the-checks way.

It’s easier together. It also raises eyebrows when one partner is seen as carrying the other.

But the money. The second we know what someone was paid for a book we make assumptions about it. A big advance can cause you to lose friends, or meet the kind of “friends” you never wanted. A small advance (or not selling at all) makes living and writing incredibly difficult. It can also make someone feel their work isn’t valuable. We don’t talk about money in order to protect ourselves, and because we’re afraid it will vanish, or never arrive.

Writing alone is hard. I’d say it’s nearly impossible. I’ve yet to meet a writer who hasn’t had some kind of financial support at one point or other; that’s partly why we beat ourselves up. We feel we should be able to survive, but a payment-on-production system is in direct conflict with the amount of hours needed to produce books of quality. Simply: if you sit down to write a book and that future book is your only source of income, you will starve. To live you must always work at least two jobs. Sometimes that other job is a marriage, which feeds you creatively while feeding your wallet and letting you write.

Yes. I said marriage is a job. It is. You are working with your spouse, always. It’s also a business. In my marriage we were in the business of medical school for a long time. Now we are in the business of making a book. Same company. Different focus. Two CEOs.

I have longer thoughts on the money question that deserve more space than this small post. The money part is uncomfortable. It doesn’t make sense, and it is always coupled with fear.

*Apologies for typos and any odd phrasing. I’m composing by phone.