When I look into your eyes
I can see a love restrained
But darlin’ when I hold you
Don’t you know I feel the same

‘Cause nothin’ lasts forever
And we both know hearts can change
And it’s hard to hold a candle
In the cold November rain

We’ve been through this such a long long time
Just tryin’ to kill the pain

But lovers always come and lovers always go
And no one’s really sure who’s lettin’ go today
Walking away

If we could take the time
To lay it on the line
I could rest my head
Just knowin’ that you were mine
All mine
So if you want to love me
Then darlin’ don’t refrain
Or I’ll just end up walkin’
In the cold November rain

Do you need some time…on your own
Do you need some time…all alone
Everybody needs some time… on their own
Don’t you know you need some time…all alone

I know it’s hard to keep an open heart
When even friends seem out to harm you
But if you could heal a broken heart
Wouldn’t time be out to charm you

Sometimes I need some time…on my own
Sometimes I need some time…all alone
Everybody needs some time… on their own
Don’t you know you need some time…all alone

And when your fears subside
And shadows still remain
I know that you can love me
When there’s no one left to blame
So never mind the darkness
We still can find a way
'Cause nothin’ lasts forever
Even cold November rain

Don’t ya think that you need somebody
Don’t ya think that you need someone
Everybody needs somebody
You’re not the only one
You’re not the only one

Probably the song which has made me shed more tears than any other. During the midst of a heartbreak, this is the melody which offers me the most comfort. As much pain as my past brings me, I know that one day I will be able to remember him in peace. Perhaps he will remain in my past, perhaps one day life will bring us back together. Any way, whatever happened was meant to happen. Life awaits me with more blessings. I just need to make sure I don’t let any slide past me. 

Stone Cold | november pt. 1

university au + platonic + romantic + angst, teamiplier + jack

sequel to: Story of Another Us | also on ao3 | previous chapter

Bella’s song choices: Shoutout to my Ex by Little Mix, Hair by Little Mix

I wasn’t sure what was getting more attention: my tutorial with Jack, or his Antisepticeye Halloween finale. I mean, Jack always got millions of views on his videos. Why did I even have to think about it?

The most I was getting was more tweets from other YouTubers and people from Jack’s community. I received a lot of compliments on the Dollhouse tutorial, which made me happy and even more proud of it. For the last bit of October, it brought me out of my depressive mood. I didn’t expect it to last, given that I wasn’t entirely content. I wasn’t exactly sad, either. It was an empty but chill feeling. I felt good about my success, and how my YouTube channel was taking off. But I still felt down about certain things, like the breakup, my crippling loneliness, and just life in general. Naturally, that wore off and was replaced with crippling anxiety because homecoming was just around the corner.

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