I personally don’t like the one-sided, limited way the gay community, particularly gay men are portrayed. Introduce the multiple facets of our community. Show the artists, the scientists, the doctors, the educators, the advocates… not just the monochromatic, gay party scene that so many people associate with our community. I think it’s so damaging and discouraging to gay youth to show them that their worth as a homosexual is predicated on physical appearance. I’m nobody to judge someone’s lifestyle, but as gay men, we’re multi-faceted with many dimensions to our existence, and that’s what should be portrayed.

Fly me to the Moon

[Next Part]
A/N: Shamelessly saw some really inspiring art. Decided to write it. Probably only a three-four part fluff.

Summary: Rainbow drags Johan to New York for a thing. Johan finds out New York is pretty neat after all. 

WordCount: 3855
Warnings: None that I know of 

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Dealing with Doctors When You Have a Chronic Illness

When you have a chronic illness, or deal with chronic pain, you learn pretty quickly that you are your best and only advocate. Doctors can often be rude, dismissive, and distrustful. They may make you feel like you’re unimportant, or imply your symptoms aren’t as bad as they really are. They may even accuse you of lying. 

It took two years, and six doctors, to finally have my endometriosis taken seriously. It was frustrating, and I often felt like maybe I was going crazy. Like maybe the pain really was all in my head. 

Here are a few things I’ve found helpful, and some advice from a friend of mine who is a doctor. Please feel free to add to them in reblogs or messages, I’d like this to be comprehensive. 

Some helpful phrases:

I’m not happy with my current method of treatment because…

I no longer feel my symptoms are manageable.

I want to trust your expertise, but I don’t feel that I’m being taken seriously.

I’m confused, can you repeat that?

I don’t understand, can you simplify that?

That will help with the pain. Is there anything that can help with…?

When going to see a doctor about a diagnosis


Make a list of your symptoms, medications (including supplements), medical history, and family medical history before going in.

Be firm and clear about how your symptoms have affected your life, and what you would like from any possible treatment (for example, is it more important to you that you are able to work full time, or that you are completely free of pain?)

Tell your doctor all your symptoms, but make sure they know which ones are the most severe, and which ones affect your life the most.

If you have a uterus, tell your doctor if you plan to have children someday.

If you don’t plan to have children, ask your doctor if the treatment would be different for someone without a uterus, or who they considered old enough to decide not to have children. Ask why they have chosen the current method of treatment instead.

Ask your doctor to repeat any instructions they have for you, and write them down. Speak up if you’re confused, and follow the instructions carefully.


Exaggerate any of your symptoms in order to be taken more seriously.

Downplay any of your symptoms because you don’t want to seem annoying or attention-seeking.

Leave anything out because it’s embarrassing or difficult to talk about. I can guarantee your doctor has heard and seen worse.

Lie to your doctor about your diet, exercise, or drug and alcohol use. They won’t judge you, or report you to the police, and it could be relevant.

Leave the appointment without a solution, prescription, or avenue of further research (eg blood tests, or a referral to a specialist).

Get angry or feel ripped off if the doctor has to google a few things. GPs are general practitioners, and it would be impossible for them to know everything about every pill and illness on earth. They’ll still get more out of a google search than you will, because they have a much better understanding of medicine and the human body.

Edit: Just to clarify, because I made someone really angry because I think I wasn’t clear on this point. If you go to a specialist, and they type all your symptoms into google and base your diagnosis off of that, of course you have every right to be angry. I’m talking about a GP checking side effects or contraindications before prescribing you something, or quickly checking to see if there’s any new information about your condition since the last time they learned about it. It would be impossible for them to know everything about every illness and medication ever, and I would personally rather they checked before prescribing me something. Doctors have access to medical journals and information that we don’t have access to, and in general they know a lot more about bodies than the average person. 

Of course, your doctor should listen to you, and talk to you about your symptoms. That’s kind of the whole point of this entire post. I just don’t think you should automatically dismiss a doctor as an incompetent idiot just because they might want to double check something before tell you.

How to talk about fatigue with your doctor

Fatigue or exhaustion can be hard to describe, and just saying you’re tired all the time can be misleading.

Write down the times of day you feel most tired for at least a few weeks before going in. Also write down what you eat, and any exercise you do. This may be helpful to the doctor, and even if it isn’t, you may be able to find some patterns that help you manage your fatigue on your own.

The doctor may ask you to rate the feeling of fatigue on a scale of 1 - 10. This can be helpful, but is also subjective. Make sure you also communicate how the fatigue has affected your life. Is it preventing you from going to work? Have you had to give up the things you love because you feel too tired to do them? Has it affected your relationships?

How to talk about pain with your doctor

Describe the physical sensation. Just saying it hurts doesn’t help the doctor figure out what’s going on, so you need to be specific.

You can use words like constant, intermittent, throbbing, acute, aching, dull, sharp, burning, stabbing, stiff or tight.

You can describe your pain by comparing it to other things. For example, my pain feels like needles, being squeezed too hard, a broken bone, a toothache, a cut from a knife, an electric shock, waves that come and go, a bad sunburn, banging my elbow etc

Describe where the pain is taking place. Be specific, but try not to guess at a particular organ or muscle, even if you’re very familiar with the human body. 

If it’s helpful, you can print out this chart, and colour in the areas that hurt.

Make sure you specify whether the pain is deep inside your body, or superficial (on or just under the skin).

Tell your doctor what effect the pain is having on your life. This is extremely important. They may ask you to rate your pain on a scale of 1 - 10, which can be helpful, but pain is subjective. One person’s 8 might be another person’s 4. 

It is much more informative in the case of chronic pain to tell your doctor things like: My pain stops me from going to work on a regular basis; my pain prevents me from doing the things that I love, my pain makes me irritable, depressed, anxious, or short tempered; my pain is unbearable; I am no longer able to work full time as a result of my pain; my pain stops me from having sex; my pain has affected my relationships; I no longer feel I can manage my pain.

You may think your doctor is only interested in physical symptoms, but in reality telling them the ways your illness has affected your life gives them a much clearer idea of the severity of the symptoms, and of what treatments are necessary. 

I hope this is helpful.

Mother’s Day

To the mother who’s buried her child…who’s buried her children…who never knows how to answer when asked “how many kids do you have?”…

To the mother whose children never got to live outside of her body…who went through morning sickness and mood swings and cravings and bloating and has nothing tangible to show for it…

To the mother whose child is dying…who holds her child’s hand as he struggles, and is terrified that this Mother’s Day will be her last…

To the mother whose child has a disability…for whom this whole mothering thing is a fuck-ton harder than she’d ever imagined…who sometimes feels like an advocate-doctor-therapist-lawyer first, and a mother a distant fifth…

To the mother who’s doing this alone and doesn’t want to be…whose partner flaked out or left or wasn’t there to begin with…

To the new mother who is more exhausted than she could have ever predicted…sadder than seems possible…

To the mother whose child has made shitty choices, abused her, rejected her…made her feel like she’s failing…

To the mother who raises other women’s children as her own…who has to answer their questions about ‘why’ and ‘how come’ and ‘didn’t she…’

To the mother who made the decision to have another person raise her child…who sometimes wishes she could have decided differently…

To the woman who is pregnant and doesn’t want to be…

To the woman who desperately wants to be a mother…is trying to be a mother…and can’t…

To the woman who does not want to, and never intends to be, a mother…who constantly has to field inane questions and comments about her biological clock…

To the child who had or still has an abusive, neglectful, absent, or otherwise shitty mother…

To the child who’s buried her mother…who wants nothing more than to be able to call her up today…take her to dinner…send her flowers…

This day is hard as fuck. Be kind to yourself today.

I’m raising a glass (or three) of wine to you all. Join me if you’d like. We deserve it.

anonymous asked:

Hi, I have a question which might be too personal. I am a plus-size woman and I have a history of heart disease in my family. It's been on my mind recently and I want to go to the doctor to see how I'm doing physically. I'm just afraid that I won't be able to find a doctor who will be able to look at me as a person and won't just attribute everything to my being overweight. How did you find a doctor who would treat you with respect and look at you as a person?

Hi there!  I totally get how you feel on this. Fat stigma in regards to the medical industry is very scary and unfortunately very real, but please don’t let that keep you from getting your physicals and keeping up with how you’re doing!  I’ve been fortunate to find doctors that treat me like they would other patients and kept them for a long time, but I have had a few that made me uncomfortable.  If you can, maybe see if you can find a nurse practitioner?  That’s who I’m currently seeing now and she’s wonderful.  I’ve also heard that they generally are just more personal.  The thing is that you might end up seeing someone who is prejudiced because there isn’t really a way to scope out a huge variety of fat friendly doctors.  

The most important thing to remember is that you have every right to advocate for yourself and you deserve the same kind of care that anyone else would get.  If you feel more comfortable having someone go in with you who can better advocate for you, then maybe consider that.  Another thing to note is that if you’re someone who has anxiety then your pulse/blood pressure are likely going to be up when you first go into your appointment - ask if they can take it later on in your appointment so your nerves have had time to settle.  When I first went into my newest doctor, my blood pressure was like 130/85 and my pulse was 120-130.  The next time I went in I was a lot less nervous because I knew I was going to be respected and I also got put on an anxiety medication, so my blood pressure actually improved.  It’s been a couple years now and my BP is at 110/72/pulse at 90 and I’m the heaviest I’ve ever been - coincidentally I’m also the least anxious/most comfortable with a doctor that I’ve ever been.  Also, if you have large arms, make sure they take your BP with a cuff that’s large enough or that will make your reading higher.

What you can do if you’re in a situation where you feel like a doctor is not giving you the optimal care/advice you could receive because of a weight bias:
- Bring someone along who can advocate for you
- If your budget/insurance allows, seek out another doctor
- Advocate for yourself by asking questions like, ‘what plan/treatment would you give to someone who was of average weight?’
- If they do anything that you feel is actually inappropriate or unethical ( this might be helpful if need be) then report them

Just remember that you absolutely deserve to be treated with respect.  I’ll cross my fingers for you that you get a good doctor (there are many out there!) and I hope this helps in some way.<3

As you see me

Mercy76 week - day 1: Firsts

This is my first, rushed and unrefined, contribute to Mercy76 week!

I hope you enjoy the week!

Jack Morrison was nervously walking back and forth in front of the Medical bay’s main door. He felt like he had been doing it for ages. He, after all, was waiting for a special announcement: Dr. Angela Ziegler, the girl he was lucky enough to call his girlfriend, agreed to show him her secret project at precisely 11:30 AM that day.

She has been working on that for months, and she never told him a thing about it. The only bit of intel he could gather from her was that it was something to aid her in her job and that it was a surprise, so he was not allowed in her lab for the time being. Over the past weeks, she requested some assets to be assigned to her project, mainly engineering personnel. She specifically requested Torbjörn Lindholm, and Jack, being the Strike-Commander, had to approve his transfer to Angela’s lab. He gladly signed the papers and his curiosity grew. He could have used is top-level clearance to find out what the project was about, but he trusted Angela, and wanted to preserve the secret. However the more he waited, the more it became difficult to hold back; especially after Jack started seeing Gabriel Reyes spending more time with Dr. Ziegler and going with her inside the Med Bay, his patience was reaching the limit. After much insistence, Angela agreed to show him her pet project and told him a date and an hour to come to her Laboratory.

Jack checked his wristwatch one more time. 11:25. It was almost time.

The light near the lock of the door turned form red to green and the door slowly opened.

“Please come in!”

Angela’s voice was coming from the internal speaker system.

“Angela, what’s the meaning of this? Are you ok?” he asked

“I’m fine, Jack! Come in and wait for me! I’ll be there in a moment!”

Keep reading

Escape of Anonymous Blogging

And sometimes an escape from social media can be good for the mind and soul. Perhaps it’s easy to lose sight of the simple beauties of life; early morning solitude walks in nature, appreciation for going to work daily in a profession you believe in.

Except, the escape into the world is one we are becoming accustomed to as comprising atrocity after atrocity.

I escaped the trappings of social media about a week ago, save for one solitary peek into facebook and tumblr; after noticing a great depth of animosity in place of hearts that have always been kind, priorities that are somehow askew in place of good solid friendships, the trust that is lacking in the souls of those who were once connected. Gossip in places where gossip was never welcomed. It is distressing, in times we ought to be looking outside of ourselves at the intense struggles of the people who are suffering tremendously from hate, gun violence and terrorist attacks.

I escaped instead to a world fraught with ambiguity, CNN around the clock, glued to The New York Times, and I wondered, what’s it all for?

I escaped into the solace of work, only to be met with the death of an educator, a beloved nurse who touched the lives and souls of many.  I escaped into the solace of bedside nursing care where people are wounded, hurt beyond repair, grieving losses and pain some of us may never fully comprehend, and I wondered, what’s it all for?

I spent time considering pulling this blog, a place where I had always found a solid escape from reality, where no one knew me, and I really didn’t know anyone, but then I recalled something I’ve often said to nursing students, graduate nurses, and I recalled what helped me survive my experience transitioning from nursing school to baby nurse. Find your escape at the end of the day, write it all down, every bit of it. Even if it’s bad writing, cringeworthy… to read back on. Reflect on it. The hurts, the joys the frustrations, the sorrows. Just write about it, and in six months, read over it when you’re having an exceptionally tough day. 

Read it over when you need reminding life is about more than what you’re experiencing right now. Look at the patients who have crossed your life. Look at their bravery, what they’ve encountered, and how their perspective affects you. This is the good stuff. The people who’ve changed you, and the way you practice nursing, changed the way you view life.

Look at the simplicity of how you’ve progressed. Read about the time you couldn’t get off the elevator because you feared walking onto the unit and making a decision that would kill a patient. Reread over the time that you first held a patient’s hand while they died. Read about the doubt in your skills, the uncertainty and trembling you felt when standing up to doctors, advocating for your patient. Reflect on how far you’ve come, even though it doesn’t feel like it. And then write again about what you know now. Write about your frustrations today, what have you learned, how have you grown since the last six months? What have your mistakes taught you? Do you see you are not the same person who could not get off the elevator?

I think about the catharsis of writing a personal journal outside of blogging, a place where we can’t escape the honesty of our thoughts, untouched or unread by others, and I consider how we find other means of escapes to help us cope, and then I am pulled back to the brutality and uncertainty of what the world is experiencing, and sometimes there is no escape from that.

I consider how each of us now are affected in our daily lives by the animosities, atrocities and how it pervades our souls, pervades our thoughts and begins to invade our minds. I consider how this transitions to the places we escape and how we treat, respect and honor one another. I consider the impact of self responsibility. I consider, what’s going to be next?

I don’t write because I am a writer - I’m a nurse, and I write for catharsis, a process much like the practice of nursing where we need to hit erase and begin again. I write because in times of direct or global trouble, we sometimes look to the anonymous world where harm, hate, suffering and atrocities are at arm’s length, and we are almost a community.

Carrie Fisher...

My preferred take on the present situation: She is now more powerful than we can possibly imagine.

Terrific actress, thoughtful writer, clever screenwriter and gifted script doctor, courageous advocate and gadfly: she will be so missed.

Are you feeling overwhelmed and anxious? Take a deep breath and read this.

Today I felt very overwhelmed and anxious with the assignments I have and their due dates. I decided to find a good article to read in order to calm myself down. I felt much better while I was reading it, and then I thought one of you guys could be needing this too. Below is a copy of this article as well as its source. I hope this article helps you feel better too. 

13 Questions To Ask Yourself If You’re Feeling Overwhelmed

“ You skipped breakfast, your boss moved your deadline to the end of the day and you forgot to wear deodorant (again!). What do you do when it all feels like too much? Start by taking a deep breath and asking yourself a few of these questions.

1. Why Am I Overwhelmed?
"Overwhelm” is increasingly common as demands on human attention increase exponentially. The human brain just wasn’t designed to handle the environment we inhabit. For the vast majority of world history, human life – both culture and biology – was shaped by scarcity. Food, clothing, shelter, tools and pretty much everything else had to be farmed or fabricated, at a very high cost in time and energy. Knowledge was power, and it was hard to come by; for centuries, books had to be copied by hand and were rare and precious. Even people were scarce: Friends and relatives died young (as late as 1900, life expectancy in the United States was approximately 49 years). This kind of scarcity still rules the world’s poorest regions. But in the developed world, hundreds of millions of us now face the bizarre problem of surfeit. Yet our brains, instincts and socialized behavior are still geared to an environment of lack. The result? Overwhelm – on an unprecedented scale. 
– Martha Beck

2. Am I Really Busy Or Does It Just Feel This Way?
Most of us judge how busy we are by how much we have to do. When there are too many things to do, we think we’re busy, and when there isn’t much to do, it feels like we’re not busy at all. But in fact, we can feel busy when there isn’t that much to do, and we can feel relaxed even when there’s a lot going on. The states of “busy” and “not busy” aren’t defined by how many things there are to do. Contrary to popular opinion, there is no such thing as multitasking; the brain can tend to only one thing at a time. Being too busy or not being busy is an interpretation of our activity. Busy-ness is a state of mind, not a fact. No matter how much or how little we’re doing, we’re always just doing what we’re doing, simply living this one moment of our lives.
– Norman Fischer

3. What’s The Priority Here?
Think about it: Humans are the only creatures in nature that resist the pattern of ebb and flow. We want the sun to shine all night, and when it doesn’t, we create cities that never sleep. Seeking a continuous energetic and emotional high, we use everything from exciting parties to illegal chemicals. But natural ebbs – the darkness between days, the emptiness between fill-ups, the fallow time between growing seasons – are the necessary complements of upbeats. They hold a message for us. If you listen at your life’s low points, you’ll hear it, too. It’s just one simple, blessed word: Rest.
– Martha Beck

4. What If I Don’t Have Enough Time?
There are two problems with time. The first one is that after a certain number of hours fatigue inevitably sets in. After that, you make more mistakes, you get into more conflict with co-workers, you’re less creative and you’re less efficient. The second problem with time is that it’s finite, and most of us don’t have any of it left to invest. Our dance cards are full. For example, in an effort to get more done, one of the first things we’re willing to sacrifice is sleep.

But consider this disturbing fact: Sleeping even a single hour less than our bodies require reduces our cognitive capacity dramatically. Much as we try, we can’t fool our bodies. Consider this statistic: Even a single hour less sleep than you need to feel fully rested takes a significant toll on your capacity to think clearly and logically when you’re awake. Sacrificing sleep is self-defeating. So, what’s the solution? It’s not to manage your time better. It’s to manage your energy. 
– Tony Schwartz

5. Am I Surrounded By Energy Suckers?
Energy Suckers (a.k.a Negative Nancies, Debbie Downers and Sad Sids). These are the people who find the cloud around every silver lining. If you can’t cut them out of your life entirely, turn your interactions with them into a game. When my neighbor says, “I hate this horrible weather!” I say, “Isn’t horrible weather great? It means I don’t have to wash my car!" 
– Donna Brazile

6. Do I Have to Do It All By Myself?
Insisting on doing everything yourself burdens you and prevents others from feeling valuable and needed. Delegate more at home and at work, and free your time for things you love and excel at. 
– Julie Morgenstern

7. What Would It Take For Me To Just Say No?
Most people claim they give in to sudden requests because they hate letting others down. I say it’s more about not disappointing ourselves: We’re hooked on feeling needed. If we take a hard look at ourselves, we might see that we unwittingly encourage people to come to us for every little thing. Interruptions can also be a welcome distraction. Faced with an unpleasant task, we’re more than happy to turn our attention elsewhere. Finally, we often don’t say no because of simple disorganization. In a choppy and shapeless day, we handle disruption immediately because we figure, if not now, when? While it’s important to be reasonably accessible to the people you live and work with, you don’t want to spend most of your waking hours in helper mode at the expense of completing your own critical tasks. Even if you’re in crisis management or, for that matter, if you’re a stay-at-home mom, you need to prioritize requests. Otherwise you get trapped in a whirlwind of multitasking where you start many things and finish nothing. 
– Julie Morgenstern

8. Is My Stuff Taking Over My Life?
Every single person I have met tells me not only about their own clutter problems but about those of a family member, or those of a friend. Nobody seems immune. The stories are not dissimilar – papers and magazines run amok, garages overflow with unopened boxes, kids’ toys fill rooms, and closets are so stuffed that it looks like the clothing department of a major retailer is having a fire sale. The epidemic of clutter, the seeming inability to get organized, and the sense that "the stuff” is taking over affects us all. We are at the center of an orgy of consumption, and many are now seeing that this need to own so much comes with a heavy price: kids so overstimulated by the sheer volume of stuff in their home that they lose the ability to concentrate and focus. Financial strain caused by misplaced bills or overpurchasing. Constant fighting because neither partner is prepared to let go of their possessions. The embarrassment of living in a house that long ago became more of a storage facility than a home. This clutter doesn’t come just in the form of the physical items that crowd our homes. We are bombarded every day with dire predictions of disaster and face many uncertainties – some real and many manufactured. Think about the perils that we’ve been warned about in the last decade alone – killer bees, Y2K, SARS, anthrax, mad cow disease, avian flu, flesh-eating bacteria… the list goes on and on. We are also faced daily with reports of war, an unstable economy and global terrorism coming very close to home. Surprisingly, this endless barrage (its own kind of clutter) inspires many of the families with whom I work to finally take control of their own clutter. In an unpredictable, dangerous world that is out of their control, they look to their homes for stability – to get some degree of organization back into their closets, their garages, their home offices, their lives. This quest for organization is a deeply personal response to the feeling that the rest of the world is out of control. 
– Peter Walsh

9. But, I Want So Much. Will I Ever Be Enough?
When we are busy focusing on what we don’t have, we don’t pay attention to what we do have. Wanting is different from having. Wanting is in the future. It is based on an idea of what might make you happy in five minutes, tomorrow, next week. But having is here, now. Most of us don’t let ourselves have what’s in front of us, so we’re always wanting more. When you don’t let yourself have what you already have, you are always hungry, always searching, always restless. 
– Geneen Roth

10. Am I Breaking Out Because I’m Stressed Out?
As the mind-skin connection gains credence, beauty companies have seized on the new marketing opportunity, launching serums and balms that they say cater specifically to the effects of stress on the skin. Without any independent clinical trials to back up these product claims, dermatologists are skeptical about how effective they might be. But doctors do advocate paying extra attention to your skin during tumultuous times. “If you already use acne products, increase the frequency of application when you’re entering a stressful period,” says Fried. And because skin’s immunity is impaired when you’re under stress, making you more susceptible to sun damage, he says, it’s even more important to apply (and reapply) sunscreen. A bonus: Taking special care with your daily beauty regimen may help soothe your spirits as well as your skin. Fried conducted a study in which 32 women used an alpha hydroxy acid lotion on their faces for 12 weeks. Their skin felt smoother in the end, but the participants also reported feeling happier in general. “As soon as these women saw an improvement in their skin, it fostered a wider-reaching sense of optimism,” says Richard Fried, MD, PhD, a dermatologist and clinical psychologist. “Their feelings of stress or depression also decreased because they felt more in control – over their skin, their bodies, their world." 
– Jenny Bailly

11. Is All Stress Bad?
Short-term stress triggers the production of protective chemicals and increases activity in immune cells that boost the body’s defenses; think of it as having your own personal repair crew. "A burst of stress quickly mobilizes this ‘crew’ to damaged areas where they are likely to be needed,” explains Firdaus Dhabhar, PhD, director of research at the Stanford University Center on Stress and Health. As a result, your brain and body get a boost. A quick surge of stress can stave off disease: Studies suggest that it strengthens the immune system, makes vaccinations more effective, and may even protect against certain types of cancer. Small amounts of stress hormones can also sharpen your memory. In 2009 University at Buffalo researchers found that when rats were forced to swim – an activity that stresses them out – they remembered their way through mazes far better than rats that chilled out instead. The key, of course, is balance. Too little stress and you’re bored and unmotivated; too much and you become not just cranky but sick. “It’s important to pay attention to your stress thermometer,” and to stay below the boiling point, explains life coach Ruth Klein, author of The De-Stress Diva’s Guide to Life. 
– Melinda Wenner Moyer

12. Is It Better to Fight Anxiety or Is It Okay to Be Nervous?
Accept that you’re having an anxiety moment – trying to squelch or deny it will only make it worse – and just focus on what’s in front of you, says David Barlow, PhD, founder of the Center for Anxiety and Related Disorders at Boston University. If you’re at an interview, meeting or party, listen intently to what the other person is saying. Make eye contact. When it’s your turn to speak, be conscious of every word you say. If you’re at your desk, respond to overdue e-mails or tackle the pile in your in-box. Whatever you’re doing, take a few deep breaths to help let the anxious thoughts and feelings float on by. 
– Naomi Barr 

13. How Do I Stop Focusing on the Clock?
The elimination of time from your consciousness is the elimination of ego. It is the only true spiritual practice. Here are three exercises to help you move in this direction:

  • Step out of the time dimension as much as possible in everyday life. Become friendly toward the present moment. Make it your practice to withdraw attention from past and future whenever they are not needed.
  • Be present as the watcher of your mind – of your thoughts and emotions as well as your reactions in various situations. Be at least as interested in your reactions as in the situation or person that causes you to react.
  • Use your senses fully. Be where you are. Look around. Just look, don’t interpret. Be aware of the silent presence of each thing. Be aware of the space that allows everything to be. Listen to the sounds; don’t judge them. Listen to the silence beneath the sounds. Touch something – anything – and feel and acknowledge its Being. Allow the “isness” of all things. Move deeply into the Now.
– Eckhart Tolle"


Wow. #TheView fucked up. NURSING is a talent & I hope you realize that if you or your loved one is ever hospitalized that the person you will mostly depend on is THE NURSE, not so much the doctor bc they do rounds with their hundreds of patients. THE NURSE is the one who has first hand perspective of what the patient is going through & are the ones who CALL the doctor to advocate for the patient. #boycotttheview #shameonyou

Common Misconceptions About Nurses

1. We flunked out of Med School.That would be a no.. A hell no. First, and foremost, we CHOOSE to be nurses. The caregiver on the frontline, entrusted with patient’s safety, direct patient care, vigilant monitoring. There’s a reason why attending doctors request that nurses come on rounds; we are the primary source of information about the patient, and as a sidebar; we have education and training that reaches Masters and Doctorate levels, but we are more interested in being called “nurse.”

2. “You clean patients and give bed pans….isn’t that demeaning of your job?” One hundred percent of our job includes doing whatever it takes to help a patient feel more comfortable. Yes, at times we find ourselves wiping bottoms with explosive diarrhea, excrement we didn’t know a human body could hold, we wouldn’t be human if we didn’t admit it didn’t affect us personally - Yet this is how we see it; Preserving a patient’s dignity is never demeaning.

3. “But you only have a patient or two. It doesn’t look that hard on TV.” Follow a nurse around for even an hour, and you may rethink this statement. In critical care, Peri-Op, or home care, you may have one or two patients, but you will work hard every damn minute of those twelve hours. In Med Surg, ER, L&D, you may have up to 10 patients or more, many at critical status, but they are extremely busy patients, many of whom are de-compensating, and here you will barely have a minute to catch your breath. TV only touches the surface of what we do, and is glorified for ratings. TV doesn’t show the labors of slaughtering a body during cardiac arrest, the sweat of our bodies in a crowded room, the honesty of fear, the shouts of doctors, nurses, house supervisors, the agony of losing a patient - and the reality of cardinal errors. TV doesn’t accurately portray how a nurse feels after a gut wrenching day of attempting to save a life, the insomnia, the late night thoughts of “what if”.

4. All nurses want to marry Doctors, and all Doctors flirt with the nurses. While it’s true that many romances are sparked from proximity, commonalities - and perhaps some innocent flirtation, it doesn’t imply this is the only connections we will find at work. There’s also other nurses, techs, nutritionists, pharmacists, respiratory therapists - nurses may flirt with doctors, but they also may have a mind blowing conversation with the transporter who everyone else underestimated to be less than intelligent. Nurses are interested in the human beyond the title, and beyond the mask.

5. Doctors do not respect nurses. Not always accurate. Respect, and lack thereof, is attributed to a person, and their character, not specifically the profession. While there may be doctors who talk down to nurses, there are also just as many doctors who treat nurses with the utmost respect, valuing their collaborative input, and as an important sidebar - nurse have the utmost respect for what a doctor does for their patient. Every hospital role is unique, stressful, and has its own challenges and rewards. And nurses respect that.

6. “You get more days off than regular jobs. You should be more energized”. That would be a no, as well. Every job, not just nursing, has its own stresses. It’s incorrect to assume that nursing is a light job merely based on less days of work. We work 12 hour shifts, often longer when a patient is in distress. We require a great deal of rest and often solitude to reflect on the enormity of what we recently faced, and our decisions. We often prefer the company of just our pets, who have no demands except to be near us. We may like to go to a party, but find ourselves exhausted after only a drink and overwhelmed by too many people, longing for sleep and the bliss of drifting off into oblivion of only calming thoughts - we actually admire anyone who can finish a day’s work and be fresh enough to go out that same night. Maybe people perceive us as boring homebodies, but we are sometimes just honestly content with perfect quiet, a sort of stillness so we can face another day.

7. “ The doctor saved my life.” In many regards, this is true. The role of the doctor is integral in patient care. However, it would be incorrect to assume a life is saved unilaterally. Nurses make critical decisions that contribute to saving lives. But it would also be incorrect to assume nurses are the only ones saving lives. It takes a team effort to save a life, and often it starts with the patient care technician, or the nursing assistant, who noticed something was amiss. It’s the collaboration of many disciplines that anticipate, and contribute to quality of care - from the lab tech who draws blood when no one else can find a vein, to the radiologist with educated diagnostic skills to the pharmacist who catches fatal errors. Everyone’s role is unique, everyone’s role is important. And everyone has one goal. To care for, and maintain the dignity of human life.

8. “There isn’t any real growth in nursing. You’ll always be a nurse.” This may surprise people, but we are just fine being called a nurse. But do not say “just a nurse.” It minimizes what we do. Nursing actually has a great deal of growth opportunities. Many of which the public do not even see. And we are ok with that. A great deal of growth is internal, and we carry that with each patient we meet. Besides, titles do not solely bring respect. It’s character, and how well we honor one another and what we do.

9. “Nurses complain all the time.” Hmm. This may be true. Oops. We spend 12 hours practicing patience, mediating between doctors, families, pharmacy, advocating for patients, other nurses and debating supervisors about safety. We are not complaining about our job. We love being nurses, we are complaining about the LIMITS of the job. Every job has its difficulties, its stresses, and struggles. This is just simply ours. Please understand, and support us when we feel discouraged, and not very social or cheery. Sometimes we are conserving our smiles and positivity for our patients and coworkers.

10. Nurses are strong, resilient and tougher than people would guess.
Actually, this is true ;)

I’m so tired of explaining to people that I don’t want to be a doctor. I don’t want to diagnose. I don’t want to prescribe. I don’t want to manage care. I don’t want to go to med school. I’m not “trying to play doctor” when I advocate for my patients. I want to provide hands on care at the bedside to my babies. I want to be a nurse. I shouldn’t have to preface that desire with “but I love doctors!” or “I actually had better test scores than my med school siblings, I just didn’t want to go that path!”

Nursing deserves respect on its own, without any comparison to what doctors do. We’re not in competition and I have nothing to prove.

If It’s Tiny And Coughing…

If it’s tiny and coughing I must protect it - is a directive that is part of the Winter Soldier’s programming. 

It wasn’t planted by HYDRA.

No, this specific mission imperative was part of James Buchanan Barnes’ psyche, planted a very long time ago, closely entwined with his memories of a floppy-haired, skinny boy with bright blue eyes, tiny fists raised against the injustices of the world.  HYDRA didn’t stand a chance against that. 

So, it was not a huge surprise that the Winter Soldier’s attention was drawn to raspy, painful coughs coming from a tiny figure stuck on the roof of a house somewhere in Little Whinging, Surrey. 

The Soldier had been to 12 Privet Drive, where he’d ended the life of one of the HYDRA doctors who’d been responsible for his “reprogramming."  His slowly returning memories recalled a man who took an almost sadistic glee every time the "Asset” was called in for a wipe.  The doctor advocated for “frequent wipes to ensure the stability of the Asset’s programming.”

The Doctor’s end was filled with pain.  It was not quick.  Nor was it merciful.

When the Soldier was clean, he stepped out into the cold December night and was prepared to slip away to his next destination.  But serum-enhanced hearing let him hear those pitiful, racking coughs and the first image that came to mind was so vivid, the Soldier spoke aloud.


He followed the sound to a deserted house, and found a barely dressed toddler on the roof.

The toddler wore a shirt that was several sizes too large for him, the collar exposing one bony shoulder.  He was thin, evidently malnourished, with a wicked scar shaped like a lightning bolt on his head and bruises on what could be seen of his arms and legs. 

The child flinched when the Soldier made it on the roof, curling in on himself.  He whimpered.  And then he coughed again.  

Children had no place in a war but the Soldier made his decision quickly.  He wrapped the little boy - perhaps he was no more than a year old, maybe two, in his own coat, murmured soothingly, smoothing messy black hair over his head.  The child bore all the signs of ill-treatment - there was no way the Soldier would return him to an abusive home.  So he took the child with him.

The child looked at him mutely once asked for his name.  And then said, “Fweak.”

At that point, the Soldier regretted not taking the time to find this child’s apparently worthless caretakers.  At least Steve had given him back his name, though he dared not claim it yet.  Perhaps if there was some mercy left in this world, he could be James Buchanan Barnes again.

But for now, the Soldier would not call this little boy “Freak.”

The Archangel Michael was the patron saint of soldiers.  It was a good enough name.  It didn’t take him long to shorten it to “Mikey” making the little one giggle. 

When the Soldier traveled, he became Jamie Grant, single father to little Michael. 

As more memories returned to him, the Soldier had a better idea of why little Michael’s strange, lightning-bolt scar gave him a sense of unease and danger.  It didn’t take him long to track down his long lost grandfather, who was, incidentally, looking for him too.

Grampy was incensed when he’d been told little Michael’s story and said the scar came from a curse and held within it a facet of a very dark, very evil undead spirit.  Grampy, of course, was both feared and revered by the Undead for a very good reason.  For the sake of his new adopted great-grandson, he healed the curse scar and expelled that undead spirit. 

It tried to fight, of course, but Grampy was an old hand at this and sent it wailing back into hell where it belonged. 

And then, he told his grandson, “Make your way back to your mate, for he needs you as well and be prepared to grovel, you foolish boy.”

As it turned out, Bucky ended up groveling all of his own volition, though his beloved had said, “It’s not your fault, you didn’t know.  You saved my life anyway.”

Also, Steve was absolutely entranced with little Michael.  The affection was mutual. 

It didn’t take long for Michael to drop his accent and to adopt the Brooklyn of both his fathers.  He would have his own room, though both his fathers didn’t mind if he wanted to cuddle up next to them for naptime.  He would have a Bucky Bear to guard his dreams and an Uncle Tony to build him new toys, though his fathers drew the line at “Tony, you can’t build him a Jaeger, for God’s sake.  Where would we even stash a giant robot?”

“He’d transform into a little one! You think I can’t reproduce Transformer technology?”

“Tony, no!

Michael James Rogers-Barnes would have nourishing food to eat, glasses when they discovered that he needed them, uncles and aunts who were kind and did not call him “freak” and still, most importantly, two loving parents.  Who happened to be super soldiers.  And a vampire Grandfather who frequently visited and delighted in smashing all the old vampire myths and cliches to smithereens. 

Michael would later adopt one of his uncles’ propensity for deplorable language because “Expelliarmus, motherfuckers!” but that’s another story. 

- end -

Note:  So I did the obligatory Harry Potter crossover.   I might write more.  I’ve suddenly fallen in love with a Harry who speaks Brooklyn-ese. :P

Years before the White House was lit in rainbow colors celebrating the Supreme Court’s decision legalizing same-sex marriage, President Obama used a routine bureaucratic tool that ended up significantly changing the government’s understanding of gender and how it can be changed.

The process began during Obama’s first year in office when he issued a memo in June 2009 instructing agencies to extend to same-sex couples some benefits that the spouses of federal employees receive. Over time, that directive led to a decision by the Social Security Administration to greatly lower the threshold requirements for changing one’s sex on official government documents, a change that would determine how a person’s gender is recorded on passports, tax returns, marriage licenses and other documents.

Since June 2013, someone wishing to change their sex classification on their Social Security card has needed to provide only a doctor’s note guaranteeing that “appropriate clinical treatment” is underway.

Before then, a person seeking to change their sex on the document had to undergo gender reassignment surgery, an expensive and, many LGBT advocates and doctors say, unnecessary procedure for a transition to take place.


Obama’s Quiet Transgender Revolution | Juliet Eilperin for the Washington Post

A great Friday read on what the Obama administration has done for transgender communities. In one word: lots.