On April 5th Lemony Snicket made a rare appearance on Twitter to answer questions on being scared in order to help you conquer your fears. The following is the transcript.
Greetings to all. You will tell me your fears and I will help you best I can, which in my experience is not very much.
Q: Should I be afraid of the dark?
A: As with mayonnaise, you should not be afraid of the thing itself, but what is lurking inside.
Q: If someone with a tattoo of an eye on their ankle approaches me and offers me a ride, should I be afraid?
A: Would your family pay a great deal of money for your safe return? My answer depends on yours.
Q: Haunted houses: scary or not scary?
A: Actual haunts, no. Teenagers at a fair, yes.
Q: What’s the scariest book you’ve ever read?
A: Angelina Ballerina, for obvious reasons.
Q: How can I, as a human of far greater strength & size be TERRIFIED of a 3-in long silverfish I found in my bathroom?
A: Power is not a matter of strength and size. Consider the fable of Dom Deluise and a thumbtack.
Q: I’m afraid of trying new things. Can you help?
A: Try an old thing instead, like Wilkie Collins or F.W. Murnau.
Q: Who is the scariest Disney character?