the-dangerous-ladies

9

Kristen Stewart, who it turns out is an INCREDIBLE Saturday Night Live host, just told Donald Trump off in the most wonderfully gay way

Kristen Stewart handed in THE strongest hosting job on Saturday Night Live for the season — scratch that, for about the last five seasons. In her monologue she addressed those times Donald Trump tweeted about her and then accidentally dropped an f-bomb on live TV in true dangerous queer lady style.

Gifs: Saturday Night Live

WATCH THE VIDEO

(Also, this quote is the ideal response to just about everything so we isolated it for your repeated viewing pleasure)

10

everyone always talks about ty lee turning on azula in book 3 and that being the catalyst for azula’s downfall but look at their first interaction in the show months earlier. ty lee is happy to see her friend for the first time in years but when azula tries to recruit her ty lee nervously she tells azula she’s happy where she is and is genuinely relieved when azula seems to respect that. then azula says she’s gonna come to ty lee’s show that night and look how ty lee’s expression changes (the last four frames in the photoset). i feel like this is such a significant moment in the series that is completely overlooked. we all know what happens at the show– azula sets the net on fire to threaten ty lee. she coerces ty lee into joining her, which is like, sad, i mean that azula has to force her friend to pretend to want to come, and they both just pretend it’s ok later. i’m not saying ty lee is completely faking their friendship the whole time they’re together for the rest of the series but this moment really shows that their foundation was based on a lie and that ty lee was at some level always unnerved by azula and there against her will. or rather she was recruited against her will and later she probably slips into the role in the team with azula and mai genuinely, they do seem to be real friends, but when the betrayal comes at the boiling rock, that was always there from the beginning. essentially in her very first scene we see the “true” ty lee who is then put away for most of the series until she comes back in her very last scene when she breaks from azula

6

“Harley Quinn?” Jughead read aloud, raising a brow and turning to look at his gang.

“That’s not even the worse one, this ones named poison ivy.” Reggie laughed pointing to the name on the screen.

“Cat woman, no ones gonna mention cat woman?” The redheaded boy barked out, laughing. “So this is what we got? These three are the most dangerous villains in Riverdale City? They all sound like women?”

Jughead, Archie and Reggie were on the hunt, there was trouble in their city. A rival gang was taking territory that did not belong to them and it needed to be stopped, they couldn’t afford to lose key business spots and one of the territories they were losing was the main drug distribution center. That would just not do.

So that brought the three boys here, checking databases and searching for the most dangerous groups to team up with, they could use all the help they could get.
“Being in charge sucks.” Reggie grunted dropping onto the couch “I wish we could just send Chuck and moose or even Adam.”

Archie shook his head “no. This needs to be done right, so we’ll do it.” Jughead nodded in agreement, as Reggie hugged again “whatever, it’s a bunch of girls, how bad could it be.”

Archie entered something into the computer before reading it over, turning to the boys

“I don’t know, but I looked up Harley Quinn, they say she’s crazy, absolutely nuts. Did you know she was the jokers girl before he died?”

Jughead stiffened, he remembered the stories now. Harley Quinn, loyal to a fault, reckless, the definition of crazy, lost her mind when batman killed her boyfriend.

Reggie seemed to come to that realization too and hopped up “that’s right! Poison ivy recruited her right after joker hit the bucket, cat woman joined after. How did we forget about that?”
Archie shook his head “more important things on our mind” he slammed his laptop shut, “well what are we waiting for? Let’s go talk to these girls.”
Jughead had an odd feeling in his stomach, choosing to keep it to himself, he followed after their fearless leader.
***
It was an odd place, dark and wet, hidden underneath the city, the doors were heavy metal and they were locked.

“Dude, what are you waiting for? Knock.” Reggie nudged him into the door. Rolling his eyes, he tapped the gun attached to his hip, just in case. He knocked.

Almost instantly the doors swung open, revealing an Asian women dressed in a mask covering her face.
“What’s your business here?” She was sharp, almost painful to hear

“We need to speak to poison ivy.” Jughead said, keeping his back straight.

“No.” just as the woman was about to close the door another voice was heard

“Oh, katana is that anyway to talk to our guests?” A woman dressed in what appeared to be vines and sporting the brightest red hair he had ever seen, appeared in the door way. He heard Reggie practically gulp from his side.

“How can I help you boys today?”

Archie stepped forward now,
“We need to speak to your gang, we would like to ask for your assistance.” He was determined and unphased by her sexy demeanor and intense green eyes. Jughead was uncomfortable, who the hell was this poison ivy?

“ hmm a proposition I suppose? Why don’t you come inside? I’ll grab the girls.” She turned and they followed.

It wasn’t nearly as scary on the inside, there were pinks and purples covering the walls, next to pictures of flowers were machetes and saws, hung in the wall next to cages and guns. Okay maybe it was a little scary.

“Harley! Kitty! Get on out here, we have company. Why don’t you sit?” Ivy motioned to the couch beside them. As soon as they sat, they heard the familiar tick of high heels and a wicked giggle. They all turned their heads and Archie’s jaw dropped while Jughead felt his eyes go wide.

While Archie stared at the raven haired beauty in the skin tight cat suit, Jughead couldn’t keep his eyes off of the blonde with the red and blue tips. She was beautiful in the scariest way possible , her pale skin marred with scars and tattoos, hearts and words, her hauntingly light blue eyes were covered in red and blue eyeshadow and her lipstick was smudged nearly down her chin. Her body was perfect, squeezed Tight into a tiny little tshirt and shorts, her long legs were covered in fishnets and accentuated by the heeled boots she had on. She was dirty, in a positively sinful way, smudges of black and brown covering her exposed skin. He watched as she smiled and her pigtails swung.

She had a bat in her hands, and was swinging it in time to her hair, “well hey there sugar, it’s nice to meet you!” It took him a second before he realized she was standing in front of him, looking him in the eyes.
He quickly looked up “nice to meet you too.” He mumbled out, she just giggled, and hopped over the couch to sit beside poison ivy.

The dark haired girl that had Archie drooling, was much more graceful, she sat delicately on the couch and crossed her legs while Harley sat criss crossed on the couch, leaning her head against the baseball bat and smiling. “What’s up?” She giggled, poison ivy patted her gently on the knee and smiled

“It seems these fine gentlemen have a question for us? You have the floor.” She nudged her head.

Archie finally tore his eyes away from the cat and sat up straight “we need help. There is a gang coming from over in pembrooke city, they’re big and they’re monopolizing all of our ports, we can take on most of them, but we need the extra help, we know how… dangerous you ladies are and we would like to ask for your assistance.”

Cat woman laughed “you want us to risk put lives for you? What would we get out of it?” She practically purred. Reggie answered now “we’ll pay you, good money. It’ll be worth your while.”

Harley was giggling now her eyes still on Jughead “we don’t need money silly, we’re bad guys, what do we need with money?” She was still smiling when poison ivy nodded

“I agree, we need something with more incentive, perhaps you’d be willing to give up one of your hide outs? We’ve been thinking of opening another lair, as soon as the pussycats break out of jail, they’ll need something inconspicuous”

Jughead stared at Archie, they did have the spare hide out in central, looking at him he nodded

“Deal. We have to warn you, this is not a typical gang they’re dangerous and they won’t hesitate because you’re females.” Archie added

Suddenly Harley was sitting next to Jughead, clutching his arm “ you don’t have to worry about us, we’re crazy! that’s what everyone says ya know?” She smiled and as he stared into her eyes, he couldn’t help but see the sadness seeping through. He placed a hand over her tiny bruised one, and smiled gently.

Veronica nodded “you have a deal, do we get to know your names atleast?” She was eyeing the redhead and he wiggled a little under her stare.

“Of course, I’m Archie and this is Reggie.” He pointed to the cocky boy who took Ivy’s hand in his own, “the pleasure is mine.” The redhead actually giggled. “And that there is jughead”
He motioned to him.

Veronica snorted, “what a group of names you all have.”

Archie smiled as they walked to the door
“Please like cat woman, poison ivy and Harley Quinn are any better?”

Harley who was clutching onto Jugheads arm, she giggled wildly. “Those aren’t our real names silly, there are nicknames.”

The three boys stopped and turned to the girls

Poison ivy smiled “Cheryl. Cheryl blossom.”

Cat woman rolled her eyes “Veronica lodge.”

And the infamous Harley Quinn just beamed
“I’m Betty. Betty Cooper!”

Platonically.

Pairing: Barry Allen x reader

Warnings: Cursing, inappropriate themes

Prompt: “I platonically want to have sex with you—no big deal.”
________________

“Hey, could you run these up to Barry for me?” Joe, your partner of 5 months asked. You were a transferred detective from Keystone who came to Central City looking for adventure. Boy, did you get one. After accidentally walking in on Barry using his powers you found out he was not only super attractive but also a superhero. You may have a crush on him.

“Yeah, sure.” You take the files and run up the stairs to his lab. You knock on the door frame which draws his attention to you. When he sees you his face lights up as you start to saunter over to him. You hand him the file and he thanks you. You sit on his desk with your feet swinging down. “How’d your date with that one chick go?”

“Fine, I guess.” You squint your eyes skeptically.

“Okay so you called a date fine, then added I guess, indicating it was not fine.” He sighs.

“I just— I mean not to be conceited, I just feel like all she wanted me for was my looks.”

“Ooh. What’d she say to indicate this?”

“Just— she um, she kept on making references to, uh, doing the deed?” You started laughing. You couldn’t help it. Barry Allen was the only man to ever pass up a purely platonic sexual relationship. “What’s so funny?”

“She wanted to bang you dude, you gave that up because she liked the way you looked?”

“Well— when you put it like that.” He huffed and slumped in his chair. “I just wanted something more with her than just… Sex. But clearly that’s all she wanted.”

“You know, you are the only man I have met to pass up sex. I mean there have to be hundreds of girls who want to fuck you cuz your hot and you pass it up because you want a relationship. I just find that hard to believe.” You shrug your shoulders and hop off the desk, fully prepared to go back to work.

“(Y/n).” You turn around as acknowledgment. “Did you just call me hot?” He’s smirking as he says it.

“Mhm. Hell, I’d bang you.” He looked surprised.

“W-what?”

“I platonically want to have sex with you—no big deal.” Then you turned and walked out leaving him confused on what your friendship really was.

***

Five days later, you haven’t talked to Barry. You and Joe got swamped with CCPD work, and Barry with Flash work. Things started to slow down so Joe invited you to dinner with Iris and Barry to thank you for the hard work. Of course you said yes.

You weren’t really worried about seeing Barry after your confession. He could ignore it completely, or he could pick up the subtle-not so subtle- offer.

You walked up the sidewalk to Joe and Barry’s house and rang the doorbell. When the door opened you were greeted by the West daughter, who had seen you less than Barry had.

When you walked in you noticed Barry on the couch chewing nervously on his lip.

“Hey, Iris.” You whispered to the brunette. “What’s up with Sonic?”

“He’s been super nervous ever since this morning. I dunno why though. He won’t budge when I ask.” She shrugs her shoulders and walks to the kitchen to help her dad. You decide to follow.

***

Later, after Barry sets up the table you all sit down and start eating. You, Iris, and Joe make polite conversation, while Barry stays quite and picks at his food.

“Hey Barr. What’s up with you? Why are you so quiet?” Iris asks.

“Huh? N-nothing’s up, I mean it’s not like anything happened— pfft what happened? Nothing.” He’s looking around frantically while talking and then when done he stuffs his face. Iris huffs with annoyance and Joe is on the break of laughing.

“Barry. Why are you acting weird?” Joe asks smiling and chuckling.

“What–I always act weird.”

“Weirder than usual.” You say trying to help. He looks at you and opens his mouth and closes it quickly then goes back to eating his food fast so he didn’t have to talk. “Okay, weirdo. So, Iris, how’s work?”

***

Later on in the dinner, you suddenly feel a hand on your inner thigh. You look at the source of the hand, whom was Barry, quietly eating his food. Acting like he’s not touching dangerously close to your lady parts. You put your hand over his and start to move it a little bit closer but stop when it’s just before your hip. You see him smirk out of the corner of your eye.

***

“Hey Joe, where’s your restroom?” You ask Joe close to the end of the night.

“Upstairs, second door to the right.” You mumble a thank you and stand to go to the restroom.

Once out of the bathroom, you see Barry resting against the opposite wall, resting. You smile then smirk.

“I think you and I both know, that I know the reason you’re acting weird.” He chuckles lightly then pushes himself off the wall, slowly walking over to you looking at you like you’re his prey.

“Oh really? Maybe because you confessed you thought I was hot. Maybe because you said you want to have sex with me. Maybe because ever since I’ve been having dreams about you and me… together. Maybe because all I can think about is you.” He’s now so close to you he’s trapped you between him and the wall. He tilts his head to hover over your lips and then grabs your hips and pulls you close. You put your hands on his arms and close your eyes, waiting. When still nothing happens you nudge his nose with yours. “Or… Maybe it’s something entirely different.” He walks away, leaving you breathless.

***

Later you take all the dishes into the kitchen alone. You start to wash when you hear footsteps.

“You wash, I dry?” Barry asks you innocently.

“No. I’m mad at you.” He smirks smugly and dries the dishes you hand him.

“And whys that?”

“You know exactly why.” He puts down the dishes then looks at you. You’ve already dropped everything and you’re looking at him.

“Maybe because—”

“Don’t start.” You grab a fistful of his shirt and forcefully kiss him. He returns with exactly the same force. You only break away when you hear a loud crash In the doorway.

“WHY ARE ALL MY CHILDREN TRYING TO GET WITH MY PARTNERS?! FIRST WITH IRIS AND EDDIE, THEN YOU AND PATTY, NOW YOU AND (Y/N)! STOP.”

Captain America Civil War Review Containing Spoilers and Emotions

Score: 8.5/10

Handsome strong big fight. Big boys punch hard, feel hard, get hard. Hold me in your strong arms handsome America man. Hold me to your enormous pecs I want to listen to them whisper to me. I love you.

So many men. I wish I could smell them. Here is what I think they smell like

Keep reading

Barry when...

You’re the other good meta in town

Though both of you two were good, you kind of had this love-hate relationship with each other. At every scene of crime and danger, from an old lady getting robbed to mass murder, both of you would be there. The only difference was that he showed his interest in you, while you liked to keep your mutual feelings of him for yourself. 

“Y/MH/N, we can help each other, if you would just let us-”
“Us? So you have this little team that wants me by your side as well?” You stepped closer to him, so close you could almost breathe the same air. Maybe it was realizing his mistake, or maybe he really just got lost in your eyes, either way, he kept gazing at them. If you were completely honest, a part of you really liked it, though the greater part overruled it and made you a bit uncomfortable.
“What, are you gonna kiss me now?“ When he didn’t answer, just continued to stare, you made a bold move: You pecked his lips. 

Pulling out of the 2-second kiss, you made a quick – hopefully witty, comment:
"I don’t usually do that before the guy buys me dinner, but you’re an exception, Barry Allen,” and then you disappeared, leaving the speedster shocked. Shocked because you had figured his real identity, shocked because you kissed him, shocked because he enjoyed it even more than he’d thought beforehand.
“Oh dayum,” Cisco said into his earpiece. 


A/N: BTW: Y/MH/N= your metahuman name. From experience, all of the work I really liked have gotten little amounts of likes, where the ones I didn’t like got tons. Now If y’all don’t like this, I’ll get seriously concerned. This was honestly so good!

Imagine Fili’s and Kili’s reaction when they hear that you will join them on their journey. They would first be a bit concerned that this would be too much of danger for a lady, but then come to the conclusion that Gandalf wouldn’t have invited you, if he wasn’t sure that you could do this.
“So, you are our number 16, lass?”
“I think so. I’m Y/n”
*under his breath* “Well, I guess I have a new lucky number”

zero0000  asked:

Here's a dumb idea: Mighty Ranger Danger opens for Pop Superstar Tommy Oliver

A typical backstage encounter while Ranger Danger is touring with Tommy Is A Girl’s Name:

“Found it!” Zack announces triumphantly, holding up his phone. “Our Article Title of The Week. I know it’s only Wednesday, but I’m calling it now.” 

This has become a Thing that Zack does.

Turns out, the boy has a gift for finding the absolute worst tweets/posts/articles that reference one or more of them (either in Ranger Danger or Power Ranger form), to the delight of pretty much no one but Zack himself. It’s caused some real trauma; none of the Rangers are sure they’ve recovered from a particularly disturbing tweet involving Jason’s abs and an ice cream sundae. (Jason had hit the ‘block’ button with enough force to break the computer mouse.) 

And yet Zack persists. He even clears his throat. 

“Popstar Lesbian Love Triangle? Tommy Oliver Spotted Cozying Up with Ranger Danger Ladies!”

Keep reading