Speaking of freckles, I never thought I was a freckly person but I went outside for like two hours and suddenly my skin got invaded by a billion dots and it was really weird. Not like Phil who’s like ‘I’m white, I look like Voldemort *bam* I’m white but have brown spots everywhere like a leopard’. I just got little dots. Scary. But I love freckles. Freckles is one of those things where a lot of people feel insecure about them, especially when you’re younger and in school. But let me just say for the record: Freckles are beautiful. Like people with really freckly faces, you know what I’m talking about with really freckly cheeks. I know that some people see, you know, conventional, perfect, beige skin and they don’t like it but trust me, a lot of people like freckles, think they’re very beautiful and unique. If you have freckles, do not feel insecure. They’re like an upgrade. They’re like a bonus you unlock in a video game.
Okay, are you ready for this? Don’t say I never treat you. Do you guys, right now, want some fan service? Do you want me to just give the people what they want? … Okay, you’re not ready for this, you’re not ready for this. Are you ready? You’re just gonna die. You’re not ready for this. Okay, this is going to be insane. You’re not ready for this. So we were out having lunch with our friend Laura and then I had to go meet up with my mum, who was in town, because I left my denim jacket at their house over Christmas - boring. And I went outside in just [the weed jumper] and this is really cold, right? ‘Cause when the wind blows and such and it’s been really warm in London recently but I went out and it was like freezing and I had to go walk for like twenty minutes to meet my mum, so you know what I did? While Phil was going home and I was going for a walk? I asked Phil if I could borrow his coat and I DID. Holy shit. So for twenty minutes today, I was wearing Phil’s coat. That-that… I mean, don’t say I never do anything for you. Okay? Don’t say… don’t say I don’t give the trash cans what they want. Don’t say I’m too busy acknowledging what the casual viewers and the calm people that don’t like crazy people, that leaves comments on my videos saying ‘Dan, this doesn’t represent me. I’m a normal person. I really don’t like watching these danisnotonfire videos where you're crying all the time. I feel like it’s too intense. We’re not all like that.’ You know, so there you go. I mean honestly.
You should speak to somebody. You should. If you have a problem, do not suffer in silence. Speak to a friend, or a teacher, or a sister, or another adult. You might not like your parents or your teachers or your siblings, there will be someone you can talk to. You’d be surprised. Any kind of random relative. Even if you don’t think they can help in any way, it’s just good to talk because little Dan was just like *timid face* the whole time and *laughs* now I have so many issues. Honestly, they’ll be with me forever.
@danisnotonfire during his live show on the 7th of February 2017
Please listen to him. Too many people look back at their lives realising how much could have changed if they’d dared to open their mouth about what was bothering them. It’s scary as heck but please do not suffer in silence.
Why is Dan so cynical? Do you think I’m cynical? … I don’t believe in ghosts, I don't believe in many things that aren’t proven by science. Does that make me cynical? I don’t think that makes me cynical? I’m quite a positive, outwardly, you know like inwardly negative, inwardly existential and self-deprecating, outwardly wholesome. That’s life. “That’s not cynical, that’s logical.” There we go. Thank you, you with the accurate definition. Yeah, I’m very logical, so if something doesn’t really make sense in this universe, I don’t really think *giggles* that it’s true. … If anything is my thing, I think it the whole existential crisis aspect that is my entire universe, so if anything that should be something with my content that I should try to reflect more of. … “Are you a nihilist?” I’m not, no I’m more of an existentialist. I think that nihilism, which is kind of the belief in nothing and doom and gloom, circles back to existentialism, which means that if you’re a nihilist and you believe that nothing has any meaning… If nothing has any meaning, therefore there is no rules that need to be followed, your human behaviour, you know society is all irrelevant because nothing has any meaning… What that means, is that everything has equal meaning because if nothing has any meaning or any reason for existing then everything has equal meaning, which means that if you chose something or if you like something then that has meaning. So for me it’s not about being hopeless, it’s kind of like the inspiring thing that, you know, if you’re an existentialist you think that whatever you believe in is, you know, what’s important, because if nothing has any meaning then it’s up to you to just decide what’s important to you and that is exciting. So you see what I mean? It’s like it sounds really doom and gloom but it comes from a wholesome place, so it’s that dichotomy of everything being pointless and therefore also inspiring “love thy neighbour” and enjoy holding doors open for people. That what I’m all about to be honest.
Summary: Phil has always known that he loves Dan more than Dan loves him. Rating: Teen Word Count: 4.2K Tags: Angst with a Happy Ending, Established Relationship, Miscommunication, Mutual Pining, Self-Esteem Issues Author’s Note: Even on vacation in Hawaii, I can’t stop writing fic! This story was inspired by a very emotional scene in “Doctor Who” between Amy and Rory.
Love You More
Phil pressed close to Dan’s sweat-slick skin, running a hand down along his waist and hip, stroking him gently as they both calmed, Dan’s breath still coming fast but slowing under Phil’s gentle touch. Dan rolled to turn toward him and their lips met, softer now than they had been, still eager but no longer desperate. Dan smiled against Phil’s lips but did not speak, simply nestling closer into Phil’s arms until a shiver wracked him and he leaned down to pull up the sheet and duvet to cover them both.
Phil’s hand rose to stroke through Dan’s hair, which was damp and curling with sweat, and Dan hummed contentedly, his eyes closing and his breath evening out as he drifted toward sleep. Phil continued to comb his fingers through the curls, his eyes still open, looking past Dan’s shoulder into the darkness.
He wished this was all he wanted, but it wasn’t enough.