the-crazy-truth

If you're my girl.

Don’t be afraid to touch me. I love touch. I crave it. Lean your head on my shoulder. Hold my hand, or even my finger. Hook your arm in mine. Rest your hand on my thigh. Trace your fingertips over my forearm. Wrap your arm around me or over my shoulders. Just touch me. I’ll love it and it’ll drive me crazy.

idol:
your body is less temple and more mausoleum when you meet him. you are sleepy-eyed and on the verge of dancing into oncoming traffic. sometimes bad intentions are better than being alone. sometimes heaven and desperation are almost the same thing.

idyll:
in this dream, you don’t have to pretend he isn’t angry because he isn’t angry. here his arms are open and he is gentle gentle gentle. he touches you and it doesn’t feel like burning. 

ideal:
you want this, you do. this is what you tell your mother when she shakes her head and calls you crazy again. it’s the truth, almost: you want something, want someone, want to stop being a monster for a little bit. 

idle:
it hurts again when you open your eyes and remember how fiery and ungentle things really are. there is so much to change but you are too tired to change a thing and so it all goes back to fire and ash and smoke and smoke and smoke.

—  chronology // s.o.

i’m so sick of writing about my heart as if it’s this beaten up, bloody thing. i’m so sick of it being something i’m ashamed to look at. i’m so sick of throwing it against the pavement, breaking it open for everyone to see, opening up my wounds for entertainment. i’m sick of my pain being an art museum of broken things. i’m sick of the only thing people knowing about me is how much i bleed.

because the truth is this: my heart, it’s still beating. and that’s beautiful, no matter what even my own self tries to tell me. isn’t it amazing how your heart keeps beating through every bruise? isn’t it amazing how no matter how much somebody takes from you, you still have more to give? isn’t it amazing? tell me it isn’t. tell me you think something else means more than the fact that i’m still living. the fact that if you’re reading this, you’re still living too, despite everything.

so no more sad poems. no more opening up old wounds. no more staring contests with the things that broke me. no more dwelling on every crack when i am still a whole, complete person. i’m so sick of giving myself a disclaimer: a “i’m hard to love,” an “i’m crazy,” because the truth is i’ve been hurt, but i’m still pretty kind, and that is truly amazing.

—  i’m going to be happy if it kills me
  • Dani Alves: "When we beat Barcelona in the Champions League, I walked up to my brother Neymar and gave him a hug."
  • Alves: "Neymar was crying, and a part of me felt like crying, too.”
  • Alves: “Was I disrespected by the board of directors before I left the club last summer? Absolutely."
  • Alves: "That is simply how I feel, and you can never tell me any different."
  • Alves: "But you cannot play for a club for eight years, and achieve everything that we did, and not have that club in your heart forever."
  • Alves: "Managers, players and board members come and go. But Barça will never go away."
  • Alves: “Before I went to Juventus, I made a final promise to the board at Barcelona. I said: ‘You’re going to miss me.’"
  • Alves: "I didn’t mean as a player. Barça have plenty of incredible players. What I meant was that they were going to miss my spirit."
  • Alves: "They were going to miss the care I had for dressing room. They were going to miss the blood I spilled every time I put on the shirt”
  • Alves: "I remember during one training session, Messi was doing things with the ball at his feet that defied logic."
  • Alves: "Of course, that is what he did every day. Only this time, something was different."
  • Alves: "Now, I need to remind you, this was an extremely intense training session. We were not messing around."
  • Alves: "Messi was dribbling through the defence and finishing like a killer."
  • Alves: "And then as Messi is running past me, I look down at his boots, and I'm thinking to myself, Is this a joke?"
  • Alves: "Messi comes running past again, and now I'm sure what I'm seeing. His damn boots were untied. Both of them."
  • Alves: "Messi comes running past again, and I think, No, it's impossible."
  • Alves: "This guy was playing against best defenders in world, just floating around pitch, and he was acting like it's a Sunday in the park."
  • Alves: "That was the moment when I knew that I was never going to play with someone like Messi ever again in my life."
  • Alves: "Three months ago, when Barcelona made their incredible comeback against PSG in the CL, I was watching every moment from my couch."
  • Alves: "You might think from reading the newspapers that I was hoping my old club would lose."
  • Alves: "But when my brother Neymar scored that beautiful free kick? I jumped up from my couch and was screaming at the television."
  • Alves: "And when Sergi Roberto performed a miracle in the 95th minute? Like every other Barca fan in the world, I was going absolutely crazy"
  • Alves: "Because the truth is that Barcelona is still in my blood."
  • Alves: "When I had to play against Barca in the next round, it was a very weird feeling."
  • Alves: "Especially in the second leg at the Camp Nou, I felt like I was home again."
  • Alves: "Right before the match started, I went over to the Barca bench to say hello to my old friends."
  • Alves: "And they were saying, "Dani, come sit with us! We saved your seat!"
  • Alves: "I went sprinting back to the field, and I could hear my old manager, Luis Enrique, laughing his ass off."
  • Alves: "Pep would tell you exactly how everything was going to happen in a match before it even happened."
  • Alves: "Against RM in 2010, when we won 5-0? Pep told us before the match, "Today, you're going to play like the football is a ball of fire"
  • Alves: "It never stays at your feet. Not even half second. If you do that, there will be no time for them to pressure us.We will win easily"
  • Alves: "The funniest thing was if we came in at half-time and the game wasn't going well. Pep would sit down and rub his forehead."
  • Alves: "You know how he rubs his head? You've seen it, right? Like he's massaging his brain, searching for the genius to come to him."
  • Alves: "He would do this right in front of us in the dressing room. Then, like magic, it would come to him. Bang!"
  • Alves: "Pep was the first coach in my life who showed me how to play without the ball."

I’m going to start with a secret. Actually, you may learn a few secrets in this story, because I feel like I am misunderstood by many people. But let’s start with the first one.

Three months ago, when Barcelona made their incredible comeback against Paris St.-Germain in the Champions League, I was watching every moment from my couch. You might think from reading the newspapers that I was hoping my old club would lose.

But when my brother Neymar scored that beautiful free kick? I jumped up from my couch and was screaming at the television.

“Vamoooooooos!”

And when Sergi Roberto performed a miracle in the 95th minute?

Like every other Barca fan in the world, I was going absolutely crazy. Because the truth is that Barcelona is still in my blood.

—  Dani Alves (breaking my heart)
for the Players’ Tribune

shadowhunters: one heart

in which Clary finds comfort in Alec and Magnus after a huge fight with Jace.

_\|

They’ve been at each other’s throats day after day, ever since they set Ithuriel free. The entire Institute was getting sick of their screams. That’s how Clary found herself banging on Magnus’ door at 11 at night, with a duffel bag in hand, tears streaming down her cheeks. Magnus internally sighed at the sight of her, and his smile turned grim.

“Oh, biscuit.” She doesn’t know how long she’s staying, but Magnus is more than happy to have her. He’s always had a soft spot for the red-head, ever since she was a child, and he knows she’s hurting. He takes her hand and leads her inside, towards his glittery living room.

She’s not surprised to see Alec sitting on the sofa with a martini in hand, clearly waiting for Magnus to come back. Instantly, she feels terrible for ruining their night together, but before she can suggest that she leaves, Alec rises from his seat and takes her duffel bag and sets it in the spare room, without a word.

Magnus sits her down on the sofa, handing her a can of soda, partly because he knows she’d do better having this conversation sober, and partly because of the protective figure he becomes around her. Moments later, Alec joins them, knowing if anyone can help Clary, it’s him, considering he’s been on the receiving end of many rants and a few punches here and there, courtesy of Jace.

It’s not long before she’s down the rollercoaster of events that have happened between her and Jace since saving Ithuriel. First, he’d been mad that she didn’t tell him about the voices in her head, and when she’d fought back with the “I would have, if you had been around.” line, he just got even more mad. After that, the simplest things turned into the biggest fight. It got so bad that Jace didn’t even want to be at Magnus’ anymore, so now he hollows himself away in his new apartment by Hunter’s Moon.

“What do I do, Alec? I’ve tried to reach out and resolve things, but even thinking about him hurts.” He knew that was a rhetorical question, so he just stayed silent and watched the tears form in her eyes.

“Is it absolutely crazy of me to wish that Simon was my brother and not Jace?” No. It wasn’t crazy, because truth be told, pretty much everyone in their circle of family and friends wished the exact same thing, except for Simon of course. No one really knew how Simon felt anymore.

“No, of course not, biscuit.” Magnus replied, getting her another can of soda, before sitting back down beside the girl and letting her rest her head on his shoulder.

“It hurts when I’m with him, and it hurts when I’m not with him. I don’t know which is the better option.” Jace had said the exact same thing to Alec the week earlier. Jace is hurting just as much as Clary is, she just doesn’t know that.

“If it’s any consolation, Jace is completely miserable without you. He hates that he’s hurting you.” Alec frowns, tilting his head to see her reaction.

“Then why is he being such an asshole?”

“Because he doesn’t know how to deal with this any better than you do. I know you’re hurt by what he did. Leaving you after what happened to your mom and after what happened with that psycho-warlock, but he’s hurting by what he did to you too. He’s ashamed and feels incredibly guilty for leaving you.”

It was true. After he and Luke dropped Clary off at the institute after saving Ithuriel, he went straight to Magnus’ and cried his eyes out in Alec’s lap. He couldn’t believe he’d been so caught up in some random seelie girls that he wasn’t out there protecting Clary.

Alec tried to soothe him as much as possible, but eventually, he fell asleep and when he woke, Jace was nowhere to be found. He’d shut himself out again, except this time, he was always checking in on Clary, throwing himself into work, trying to find a way to defeat Valentine, simply so Clary would be safe.

“Maybe he does, but that doesn’t matter. We can’t even stand the sight of each other anymore, not just because of that. I don’t know what to do anymore.”

“Listen, Clary. Valentine proved that you and Jace are siblings, there’s nothing you can do about that. You and Jace are going to be in each other’s lives forever, no matter what, so I think you just need to tolerate each other until you’re okay with being near each other. That’s what I did with Simon.” Alec jokes and looks at Clary, surprised to see her completely lost in thought. The two men wait in silence for her to speak, and when she does, it’s not what they expected.

“He didn’t.” Glances of confusion crossed across Alec and Magnus’ faces.

“Who didn’t what?”

“Valentine.” Clary raises her head, and looks at the wall with a vicious expression. “He didn’t prove that we’re siblings. He just said we were.” She finally looks at her two friends. Magnus quickly stands up, and starts to pace, thinking.

“Okay, so you’re telling me, that Valentine TOLD you that you and Jace were siblings. AND YOU JUST BELIEVED HIM?”

“We were in shock!” Clary defends herself. When the words came out of Valentine’s mouth, she couldn’t think about anything other than Jace. The fact that she didn’t tell him she was in love with him.

“Clary, this was definitely Valentine’s plan. He knew you’d be too in shock to ask for proof and he needed something to tear the two of you apart.” Alec reasons as Clary bolts up.

“We have to take a DNA test, of find some proof that Jace and I aren’t related.”

“Clary you can do that in the morning. You need rest.” Alec tries to convince her, but Magnus simply snaps his fingers and she’s asleep on the sofa. Alec sends him a small glare.

“What? She never would have listened to us.”

I want Dipper to return from the summer and ask his several science-teachers question in such quantity and complexity that they get headaches - and it gets worse every time

I want a school-interns semi-trend  of wearing Mabel Pines Handmade Friendship Bracelets 
I want those bracelets to double as a secret sign to mark people who you will be safe with talking to about sexuality/gender/general confusing feelings

I want the gym teacher be stunned by the Pines Twins who quickly climb towards the top of the class
I also want the gym teacher to first think Dipper Noodle-Limbs Pines is joking or acting out on a dare when he asks to join the track-team, only to be slightly intimidated by The Look Dipper gives him to make him stop laughing
He chokes on his laughter, swallows and quickly sobers up
Hastily signes the necessary papers

I want the Mystery Twins to solve secrets of their town - who stole that sign? Who started chopping that tree without permission? What lunatic is walking around in the middle of the night in a fur-suit? Frigging furries. (Actually it’s a very confused and recently left-behind cryptid who gets help from two small teens with nearly identicval faces who give him some money and directions to a place called Gravity Falls)

I want to have a class-assignment where they have to write about their summer-experiences - Mabel writes the entire, crazy truth, handing in 500% the amount they were assigned - while her twin hands in a almost empty piece of paper 
Dipper gets scolded for only writing his name and “No.”, while their teacher tells Mabel that while he appraciates creative writing, she should please just write what she did over the summer next year

Do not. Jump scare. The twins. Do not.

I want Mabel to “bap” a sticker on Dipper after every trigonometry-period to cheer him up and distract him from his dark memories - it doesn’t matter if he managed to stay or not, he will walk into the next period with a grateful smile and a shiny plastic-sticker on his shirt
“You did ext-ROAR-dinary today!” is the one he is proudest of, because he managed to actually solve a question on the spot, only freezing up for a few seconds, and he is proud of that little step in the right direction- Mabel hugged him heartily and grinned “Good job, Dippingsauce!”

I want the student-body fawning over Waddles and protest as one unit in class when a teacher wants to throw the pig out

I want Dipper to use his gumption to gather support from the other students to help push through a no-meat day once a week in the menu, so his sister can sit down across from him during lunch without a pained expression at least once a week 

I want an excerpt of the school-psychatrist (or how-ever that’s called) from their POV where they sit down, have to sit down take a fucking break, shellshocked, after their first meeting with the male Pines Twin (he was send to her when he had to leave trigonometry a second time) because this kid has some problems and she is still half-way processing what the kid rambled about, seemingly without noticing he was talking at all as he stared at the white wall, and half-way already writing a letter to his parents in which she tries to explain just why this kid really needs a professional stat   

Hi!! Guys you’re AMAZING!! I can’t believe how nice you all have been with me and with the first part of my fic. I’m so so happy you like it so here’s part two.

Warning! There’s a lot of fluff

I really really really hope you like this part and that I don’t disappoint you.

Thank you so much again!

Also here’s part 1 for those who haven’t read it and want to

—————————-x———————————-

“Well, this is it. This is where I work”

They had just arrived at the kindergarten. There was a small stage in the playground and a lot of folding chairs for the public.

“It’s really nice”

“Do you want to meet the kids?”

“Yeah, I’d love that”


Yousef led the way to the building near the stage. They entered a room where around 24 kids were talking to each other in funny costumes. There was a lot of noise, it seemed like the kids were really nervous.


“Well, is someone going to come a hug me or what?” Yousef said acting like he was hurt.

As soon as the kids saw him they all ran straight to him yelling his name

“Hey buddies! Are you excited?”

“Yes!!” all the kids yelled

“Are you going to rock the stage?” he asked a little louder

“Yes!!”

“And more important…are you going to have fun?!” he yelled

“YESS!!”

“That’s right!! You know the most important thing is to have fun, it doesn’t matter if you do something wrong or you forget any line or song, you are here to have fun, okay?”

All the kids nodded effusively.

“Yousef, who’s that?” one girl asked pointing at Sana who was watching the scene with a huge smile

“Oh that is my friend Sana. Sana, come here and say hi”

She rolled her eyes but approached him and the kids.

“Hi kids, how are you doing?”

“Yousef, is she the Sana you always talk about?” a boy with glasses asked

Sana raised an eyebrow and looked at Yousef who was blushing.

Yeah, she is…” Yousef said “but I don’t talk about her always”

“Yes you do, you’re always saying that she’s smart and funny and…”the little boy said counting adjectives with his fingers

Okay, that’s enough” Yousef said embarrassed “does anyone want to ask Sana something?”

 Sana tried not to laugh at Yousef’s embarrassment. She was already loving these kids.

 “Sana, is it true that you play basketball?” a blond boy asked

“Yeah, it’s true” she said

“Not only she plays basketball, she’s great at it” Yousef added

“So she’s smart and funny and she’s great at basketball…”the boy with glasses started to count again

Aleksander, dude, not helping” Yousef said trying to make the boy stop.

“Can girls be better than boys at basketball?” one girl with a ponytail asked Sana.

“Of course we can!” Sana said, then she crouched to be closer to the kids “and do you want to know a secret? Yeah? I beat Yousef at basketball last Friday”

All the kids started to laugh along with Sana

“Okay, okay, enough with the laughs. Don’t forget who’s your teacher here” Yousef said offended

“Aw Yousef, don’t be a sore loser” Sana joked making the kids laugh harder “But listen to me kids, he’s right. The important thing is not winning or losing but having fun, okay?”

“But winning is more amusing that losing” a brunette girl said

“It can be, but losing is funny too. For example, when you lose you can ask the person that won to teach you to be better. That’s fun too.”

“Ohh, I see it now. Like Yousef can ask you to teach him basketball so he can be better”

“Exactly like that. See? Losing can be fun too.” She smiled at the kids and then looked up at Yousef who was standing by her with a huge smile on his face. “What?” she whispered raising her eyebrows

“Nothing” he whispered back still smiling. He loved seeing her like that.

She turned to the kids waiting for more questions. One girl who was dressed as a princess approached her.

“You’re very beautiful Sana” she said smiling

“Thank you, sweetie. I think you’re very beautiful too. In fact, I think all of you are very beautiful”

“So she’s smart, and funny and great at basketball and beautiful…” Aleksander started to count once again.

Yousef laughed and shook his head in defeat. Then he clapped his hands to get everyone’s attention “Okay kids, show must go on. It’s time to start. I’ll be there in the public watching you. Just relax and have fun, okay?”

Sana stood up and followed him outside the building waving goodbye at the kids.

If someone had told her that she would be enjoying that much a kids’ play she would’ve called that someone crazy. But the truth was that the kids were amazing, they forgot some lines but carried on and improvised.

Being honest though, what she loved the most was watching Yousef laughing and smiling at the kids, he knew every single line and he even sang the songs. When the play ended everyone stood up and gave the kids a huge applause. Sana saw from the corner of her eyes how Yousef tried to wipe away a tear.

“Are you crying?” she teased him

“I’m not crying, I’m just really proud of them” he said biting his lip “do you want to come say goodbye?”

“Of course”


They entered once again the building they had visited before where all the kids were waiting for their parents.

“Well, well, well, what was that? It was the most amazing play I’ve ever seen guys!!!” Yousef said “I think this deserves a group hug” he said crouching and opening his arms.

 All the kids hugged him while Sana stood by the door watching the scene with a smile.

 “Did you like the play Sana?” the girl with the ponytail asked her

“Of course, I loved it. You’re all extremely talented”

“Okay guys, we have to go now, but I’ll see you tomorrow okay?” Yousef said

“Will Sana come back someday?” the blond boy asked

“Well…” Yousef started uncertain of what to say

“Yes, I will definitely come back if you want to”

“Yaaay” the kids yelled.

“Okay, kids, say goodbye to Sana” Yousef said standing up

“Yousef, can we hug Sana?” the girl that had told Sana she was beautiful asked

“You’ll have to ask her that, Emmelie”

“Sana, can we hug you?” she asked

Sana couldn’t help but laugh, those kids were so cute. She crouched once again and opened her arms like Yousef had done.

“Come here” she said and all the kids ran to her.


“Those kids are amazing” Sana said as Yousef gave her her ice cream.

They had left the school a while ago and went to have an ice cream. Sana had insisted on inviting Yousef like they had arranged but Yousef claimed that it had been his idea to go out so it should be him the one to pay. Sana only accepted when he told her that she could invite him next time. Next time, so there was going to be a next time. Interesting.

Now they were walking down the street while eating their ice-creams.

 “Is Sana Bakkoush softening up?” he asked raising his eyebrows

“No.” she said dryly. Then she smiled at him “But I get it now, why you love kids.”

“You were really good with them”

“You think so?” she asked with a shy smile “It’s a big responsibility you know? Knowing that everything you tell them will have an impact in their lives, they’re so young. That’s why I admire the job you do with them. It’s so nice”

“Thank you, it’s really fulfilling when you see a kid being nice to another kid because you told them so.”

“They’re awesome”

“And they like you a lot. They’re going to hold you to that promise of coming back, you know?”

“I will gladly come back.”

“Nice”

“I still think you wanting to have 12 kids is too much, though”

Yousef laughed. He thought maybe she wouldn’t even remember that, after everything that had happened in a few weeks.

“Maybe you’re right, I think I’d settle for 5” he said looking at her “There are 5 people in a basketball team, right?”

“Yeah, there are 5 in a basketball team” she said biting her lip

“Cool” he said nodding and smiling.

 

“Well, here we are. Back at your house” Yousef said standing outside her door, in front of her

“Yes, here we are. Thank you for walking me home”

“Of course” he looked at her. A comfortable silence settled among them. “This is giving me Friday flashbacks” he laughed

“Are you going to forget what you want to say, again?” she teased him

“No, I know what I wanted to say then and what I want to say now”

“Which is…?”

“I like you Sana, just thought you should know that in case you didn’t already know”

Sana’s smile slowly grew as she processed his words.

There they were, the dimples Yousef loved so much.

She was about to say something when he interrupted her.

 “It’s okay. You don’t have to say anything” he said taking a few steps backwards as he smiled at her “Goodbye Sana”

 He put his hands on his pockets, gave her a final smile, winked and turned around to leave. She stood there watching him leaving.

Sana laughed to herself. That boy was so extra.

 

Later that night, after the 101 questions her mom had asked her when she entered her house, she sat on her bed ready to go to sleep. She grabbed her phone and opened the text conversations but someone knocked on the door.

 “Can I come in?” Elias asked

“Yeah”

“So, how was your date?”

“It wasn’t a date Elias” she said rolling her eyes

“Yeah right, you can fool mom but you can’t fool me sis, you have been smiling since you got home”

“Whatever”

“Okay, okay I’m leaving.” He said walking to the door. “Just know that I’m happy for both of you and I hope things work out”

He turned around and started to leave but Sana called his name

“Elias” he turned around to face her “Thank you”

“No problem, sis. Good night”

“Good night”

Once she was alone she grabbed her phone again.

————————————–x——————————

This is it!! 

I really hope you like it and you don’t think it’s out-of-character

Also I’m sorry for the hideous heart but the emojis wouldn’t work in the app

Again thank you so much for reading and hope you liked it.

You guys are amazing with me and I can’t thank you enough

(Note: to those of you who reblogged the first part and added some beautiful tags just know that even though I can’t answer you directly like I do with the comment, I do read your tags. Hope you don’t think I’m a stalker but I really love reading people’s tag when they reblog my posts. So thank you!)

songs each sign should listen too prt5

✿ actually listen to the songs pls tysm ✿

aries; prince - let’s go crazy

taurus; zayn - truth

gemini; kyle - iSpy

cancer; childish gambino - 3005 ( parkinson white flip )

leo; jhene aiko ft. frank ocean & the weeknd - runaway

virgo; g-eazy - calm down

libra; kehlani - alive

scorpio; fetty wap - 679 ( haven bootleg )

sagittarius; taio cruz - break your heart

capricorn; alina baraz- pretty thoughts

aquarius; g-eazy - acting up

pisces ; melanie martinez - crybaby

Painskatingly Obvious  (STVTFOE Fan Fiction)

Originally posted by palemom-sleepydad

Geez, the season two finale absolutely killed me! I am so glad that season 3 will be coming back this summer because I could not have waited over a year to see what happens next with Star, Marco, Toffee, Ludo, Jackie, and Moon! With that in mind, I’ve been seeing a lot of stories about the aftermath of the finale from Marco and Star point of view but not Jackie. While Starco is my OTP of the show, I have grown to really enjoy both Jackie as a character and her relationship with Marco. Plus, I hate how in some stories, the writers will portray Jackie as a total jerk even though that is totally out of character for her! So I decided to whip this story up. I hope you enjoy it, and please leave a review telling me what you think of it XD.

______________________________________________________________

As Jackie watched Marco run up the stairs after Star, Jackie couldn’t believe what just happened. One minute she and Marco were just having a fun time at the party, the next minute Star was shouting Marco’s name, rambling about  how she may never be coming back to Earth, and telling him that she have a crush on him before she started to cry and ran upstairs. Even though she normally went with the flow of things, the sudden turn of events had pushed Jackie off her “skateboard of calmness” so to speak, sending her into a whirlwind of mixed thoughts and emotions. How long has Star had a crush on Marco? How could she’ve never noticed any signs suggesting Star had a crush on Marco? Why did she help Marco get the nerve to talk to her if she had a crush on Marco? What was she supposed to feel? Was she supposed to feel ashamed that she was the reason why Star never tried to make a move on Marco? Angry at the fact that Star would just reveal such a huge thing before suddenly running off? Or sad the fact that Star, a person who she view as a very close friend, was suddenly leaving Earth, possibly forever, because of her? She was so wrapped up in her own thoughts that she didn’t even hear anything that Janna said until she literally started shaking her, which snapped her out of her train of thought.

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