I'm liking this blog so far. Could I request DJD/reader?
( Melly’s Mod Notes: I’m glad you do, anon! Hope these headcanons are to you liking since I’m going to assume that this is a group relationship with the reader. I will also be only doing SFW headcanons since it’s not specified if NSFW was desired for this prompt. If you do want NSFW and want individual headcanons for specific characters from the DJD, just shoot in another ask and I’ll get to work on that. )
✦ The human honestly thought they were dead the moment they found themselves on the Peaceful Tyranny. By that point they’ve already learned of the DJD’s reputation and are very nervous as they’re brought to the team. They can only hope that since they’re so small and squishy, their suffering ends quicker.
✦ For some reason they aren’t killed right off the bat nor are they tortured. None of that can happen since the Pet suddenly strolls up to them, takes a few deep sniffs, and licks their face. It’s… It’s disgusting but the Pet showing interest in them helps out a lot since Kaon loves the Pet and wants the Pet happy. So if the Pet wants to keep the disgusting organic fine. Looks like the Pet has a playmate now.
✦ At first Kaon wants nothing to do with the organic. Most he’ll do is make sure they’re fed and watered and threaten them with death should they pull any stunts. Then one day he walks in, aching and tired since the ‘con they cornered didn’t go down easily, and the human asks if he’s alright. He’s surprised and immediately suspicious, wondering if this is some sort of trap but the human must have noticed his suspicions since they assure him that they’re worried for him is all. He doesn’t answer them that night but the night after, when they ask again, he answers simple yes or no questions and that evolves into actual conversations that he finds himself looking forward to. Soon the human tries to prep things for Kaon’s return so it’s more comfortable for him - A cup of energon at his desk, datapads of his favourite works already set up, the Pet’s bed fluffed up. Kaon begins to tolerate their presence more and it soon ventures into liking them. A sign of that? He isn’t threatening to kill them every day now. That’s progress.
✦ Nickel, surprisingly enough, is the second member to interact with them in a friendly fashion. Realising the benefit of another small being on the ship, Nickel more or less strong-armed the human into helping out at the medbay. The close relationship they have with Kaon and the Pet also isn’t lost to her either so perhaps that’s why she felt like she could trust the human in not sabotaging the others. Initially cold and to the point to the human, they grew on her over time with how dedicated they were in doing the job and how they did their best to clean up Helex and Tesarus’ insides after an excursion. They even took her berating and scolding in stride when most folded over in fear. She’s the one who taught Cybertronian to the human so they can communicate with each other without needing to rely on the translator Nickel had originally (and begrudgingly) gave to them. It’s not because she likes the sound of their voice or wants to hear them say, ‘Thank you, Nickel’ or anything. No. Not at all. Shhhh. Shhhhh. Shhhhhhh if you know what’s good for you.
✦ Through being Nickel’s assistant, the human is able to befriend Tesarus and Helex. Having someone else taking care of their insides is new to them and the human attempts to strike up a conversation with is both amusing and pleasant. (And gives them a great excuse to not speak with Nickel when she wants to chew them out. Sorry Nickel! They’re trying to entertain the organic here so they’re real busy.) The two end up liking the human a lot in the end thanks to that cute smile of theirs and their friendly personality. Those are hard to come back in the ship. Tesarus likes to speak with them about what the cause of the Decepticons means and is the one who introduces the human to Megatron’s Towards Peace. Helex’s other pair of arms are smaller and delicate enough for him to pick up the human without fear of hurting them if he wants to give them a hug if they pass by the hallways.
✦ Vos likes speaking with the human and it’s how they become friends. What is he talking about? The human isn’t all that sure. They’ll be going over some medical reports Nickel asked them to read up on and he’ll walk in the medbay, sit down on a chair, and stare at them for a few seconds before speaking. It is the creepiest thing in the world at first but the human picks up the fact he seems kind of lonely whenever he drops by. Like he needs to speak with someone and the human was the only one they could turn to. As a result they try to seriously listen to him. Not through his words but through his body language, his tone and do their best to ensure their ‘hmmms’ and expressions fit the talk they’re having. Apparently it’s enough for him. One day he suddenly reaches out and runs a digit down the the human’s face before carefully, carefully booping the tip of their nose. That’s his way of showing affection and acceptance. Yay…?
✦ Tarn is the most difficult one to make a connection with and it’s mostly his fault. This ‘con is going to be a stubborn one, refusing to speak with the human or even acknowledge their presence unless he absolutely must. Not even Nickel can get him to budge on this point. He’s frustrated to see the others falling for this organic and it makes him feel left out and alone, wondering what sort of charms this human has to get the others to like them so much. The best way to connect with him is through music. Asking him what he likes to listen to and letting him talk about his favourite music, the first time he heard music so beautiful it made him want to cry. Sooner rather than later he’ll ask the human if their species has anything decent to listen to. The classical genre is the best type of music to introduce him to along with letting him first hear the dramatic symphonies and pieces. In return he plays them the Empyrean Suite and, sometimes if they’re working together, he ends up humming the song as his servo subconsciously reaches out to stroke the human’s hair, back. It’s soothing.
✦ Soon enough the human finds themselves becoming a source of emotional comfort to the group. Nickel coming in to gripe about how the others don’t take care of themselves enough and how she’s worried for them. Vos coming in for… whatever he’s talking about. Tarn coming in to express his doubts about how the others take, perhaps, too much delight in executions since he doesn’t want to lose them to that. They’ll do their best to be a (figurative) shoulder to cry on while giving sensible advice on the member’s current doubts. Sometimes they’ll act on the advice, sometimes they won’t but it means a lot to the ‘cons that the human is willing to hear them out even if some things they talk about are out of their grasp.
✦ Now the human now has all of the DJD in love with them. Congratulations! I hope they don’t mind physical affection because there will be a lot of it with this group considering how touch starved they are in their efforts to keep the personas up. There’ll be a lot of nuzzling, a lot of petting, a lot kissing - mostly the Cybertronian way but Nickel won’t mind an organic’s version of a kiss. Or three. Or hey! Did she tell them to stop? No? Good so keep smooching while she hugs them back.
✦ With how big the ship is, the human will be carried around and there is an occasional fight about who gets to carry them that day. Tarn had to make a schedule on who gets to carry the human when though the human couldn’t help but notice he gave himself the most days. Everyone agrees that Tesarus is never allowed to put the human inside him when helping them get around the Peaceful Tyranny ever again because what the scrap Tesarus. What the scrap.
✦ The DJD know that, sooner or later, they’ll have to let the human go to somewhere ‘safe’ AKA where they can’t easily go to. If any Decepticon saw an organic on the ship and asked them why they were there… It pains them but it’s for the best interests of their humans. In the end it’s Kaon who lets them ‘escape’ officially. He does by ‘accidentally’ leaving the door of his habsuite open one day and taking the Pet with him. All the while loudly talking about how annoying it is that they have to dock their ship and leave the doors of the hanger wide open as Tarn makes his usual trade with that Autobot medic from Delphi. The others surprisingly fail their spot checks too as the human takes the hint to leave by packing their things, writing them goodbye letters, and heading out to Delphi for sanctuary. (Ambulon and First Aid will be so confused by how healthy and fit they are for an organic that had been with the DJD for so long.)
✦ They’ll miss their human but it’s for the best. They’ll keep tabs on Delphi more than ever now since their human is staying there. Surely they’ll be safe in Delphi, Tarn assures them. The Autobots run it and they have a reputation of adopting every little organic they come across. Besides- Pharma is under their thumb. What can he do?
Do the Transformers ever actually call themselves Transformers?
They do! The first time it happened was in the G1 episode “The Autobot Run.”
Some fans don’t like it, and I guess I understand why, it’s the name of the toyline, feels a bit silly in-universe. But I guess I’ve always thought that if “Cybertronian” is to “Earthling,” then “Transformer” is to “human.”
AU where Autobots naturally upgrade to become stronger, whereas warbuilds come online strong and top of their game.
Like say, when an Autobot first comes online, they are little more than soft protoform. In those first few seconds of sentience, they receive their first upgrades that allows them to perceive the world. Most importantly they gain armor– something that will protect their softer bodies; something they NEED to function.
After a while, when their processors have developed a bit more and they have actual personalities, they receive their second upgrade: a special skill. It comes almost seemingly at random, yet the bots say it feels just right. It is something UNIQUE to them, and everyone around them, and comes without prompting.
Finally– and few know this– Autobots can receive additional upgrades depending on WANTS and DESIRES. The number of these upgrades are technically limitless, but to gain them one must reach a meditative state, as well as have a frame/processor developed enough to make room for more functions. You must be in-tune with your frame and spark, ready to receive…
So imagine if Prowl and Optimus get to talking about this (cuz you KNOW Prowl would know about this sort of thing) and Optimus decides to give it a few shots at the base. Bumblebee and Bulkhead prove to be too distracting, so he never quite gets into his meditation. Fast forward to about a week later, Optimus is captured by the cons and is locked up in a cell. When Blitzwing finally leaves, he’s all alone… and he decides to give mediation another shot.
He pictures himself as strong as a warbuild, to be taken seriously and protect everyone he cares about; he visualizes himself flying, taking Sari for a flight and able to dodge even Megatron’s claws. How fun it would be– how HELPFUL he would be. Suddenly he is overcome by a bright light emanating from his spark chamber…
He feels… different. A good different. When he is able to reorient his senses, Lugnut is yelling at him, demanding answers. The con also left the door wide open in his haste to interrogate. Emitting what might have been a growl of irritation, Optimus decides to take his chances and test out this new feeling, bolting for the door. Lugnut of course attempts to stop him, but Optimus is able to push the con’s huge arm back and shove past him.
Breaking free, he encounters a stunned Blitzwing, who witnessed his newfound strength. Optimus does growl now.
“Out of my way!” That shakes Blitzwing out of his shocked state.
“Not a chance, little Autobot.” -whrr- “Why don’t you go back into your cell and play a game of ‘sit don’t speak’? Ehueheuhueh~”
“I don’t think so.”
“You want to go outside? Why, Rapunzel…” -whrr- “YOU THINK THIS IS A GAME!? I WILL *CRUSH* YOU, PUNY BOT!!” By this point Lugnut has shaken his surprise as well and is gearing up to charge into the fray. Optimus is able to battle them both– they are in a cave, so the cons have little advantage in their altmodes. He knocks Lugnut back with a fist to the faceplates and wrestles Blitzwing to the ground after kicking his pedes out from under him. Before they can regroup Optimus is sprinting towards the only light he can see, assuming it’s an exit.
It is an exit, however it’s thousands of feet in the air– they are on a fraggin cliff face by the sea! Optimus backs up from the edge. Okay, hand-to-hand combat is one thing, but this? Even if he did get the upgrade, it practically goes against nature! He’s a grounder, accustomed to something solid beneath him, this… this is just too much…
“Ooohoohoo, nowhere to run little Autobot ~!”
“Get back in your cell and our glorious leader, Lord Megatron–” Okay, Optimus really doesn’t need to hear anything else.
He can’t hesitate anymore. It’s now or never. Optimus takes a leap of faith; Blitzwing and Lugnut gasp.
The plunge is terrifying.
Optimus closes his optics and digs deep, trying to calm himself, trying to activate whatever new software is required to make this work. Finally, he feels his plating shift. Small propulsion units appear on his back, on his pedes, and servos. By instinct his face mask closes… and he is suddenly weightless.
He is clumsy still, but is able to maneuver himself in the direction of home. The cons are probably too shocked to follow. Optimus grins to himself– this is amazing! This is wild! This is– really, really really high up, holy Primus! Just has he takes a gulp his blue optics meet wide red ones.
It’s Megatron. Come back from… well whatever it was he does when he’s out. Optimus never really found out. In his shock he falters for a moment before panic takes him and he wills his frame to go faster, faster, he’s GOT to get out of there!!
When he finally reaches the mainland outside the city he touches down and exvents heavily from exhaustion. He’s never seen Megatron look like that in any of their encounters, or in the holovids he’s watched. It would seem he’s baited a beast. Oh, he is in SO much scrap the next time they battle…
How much more would they fear for the world if they knew that Bumblebee had offspring with BLITZWING??
I imagine it like Bee going “I’m pregnant” and the Autobots just putting their hands on their head going “what no” and Bee saying “I swear, I’m pregnant” and everyone starts stomping around chanting “no no what” and then he adds “with Blitzwing’s child” and the Autobots just run around cursing yelling “why would you do that what the hell” “how did this happen” “I’m so confused and I have a lot of questions” and Prowl’s like, I dunno, aggressivelly planting trees in the background or something.
Was supposed to be a review of whole issue but. Prowl man.
@decepticonsensual pls read this when you’ve read the issue! But not sooner, it’s spoilers. Sort of.
The soundtrack influences a lot of how I see the issue. (spoilery images in link)
The dreamscape in the beginning… oh wow. When you listen to Prowl’s (maybe) theme on the soundtrack, and connect the bits to the last page in the issue, Prowl becomes tragic. Very, very tragic. He hasn’t lost himself, he has given up his humanity in order to try and do the best thing for everyone.
What’s up with his crest looking an awful lot like the con symbol in the dream? I suppose it might be nothing, but maybe it’s a subconscious/visual nod to how Decepticon his methods are. Ends justify the means, peace through tyranny (holy fuck Prowl).
Prowl mirrors Megatron, he has one true vision of what must be done to Fix Everything, but he absolutely refuses to become the Face of that thing. He’s made himself into a center that keeps the Autobot machine running, and given up himself for that. He has emotions, or has had them and for a long time he’s suppressed them in order to do what must be done.
For him it’s the numbers that matter. One ruined life, some hurt feelings, to save many. Numbers (amount of lives) > feelings. The dream reveals that he legitimately just wants PEACE. And he knows how it can be done! He gave up himself in order to do what’s right, so he has too big stakes to back up and ask “what if I’m not right?”. Though in one of Roche’s interviews he said that Prowl has sat back and wondered if he’s going too far.
“It was you and the others. Who did… what you had to do.”
Prowl doesn’t do anything for himself. He always protects the majority, and he utilizes puppets; Kup (literally), Optimus, the Wreckers, Spec Ops. He has many different kinds of pawns who are used to manipulate his way into the result he needs. And directly, the result he needs is what everyone else needs too.
He’s completely unselfish, because he thinks he can give up living for himself in order to live for everyone else, he’s just a cog in the machine. And that’s what really breaks my heart. He’s doing it all alone because that’s what he needs to do in order to do what he needs to do. It’s similar to how Megatron became the face of the Decepticons, in order to do what needed to be done, he took a different role. They both control their factions, just from the entirely different ends, Prowl wants to be invisible, Megatron visible (when he led).
Apparently one reader felt my last rant was misleading. Fair enough, I didn’t talk about the content of Transformers: Age of Extinction and used it as a segue into our greater problem of lowering the achievement bar to a point where even things like picking our nose is considered a grand accomplishment. It’s the reason why I called it a rant, and not a topic. Rants can go anywhere, I just needed a starting point. I apologize for the misdirection, but I won’t apologize for my politics.
But if it’s a rant against the movie that was advertised, then who am I to unfairly not deliver? Transformers: Age of Extinction was the seed for my rant, so let’s find out where it all started. Against my better judgement, I watched the movie.
Emerging from the film I had the urgent need to chug a Bud Light in one of those fancy blue cans, to eat an Oreo cookie, to buy my wife some Victoria’s Secret and pretend in my mind that she’s underage jailbait. My brain feels this because I’d been bombarded these messages for 165 fucking minutes nonstop, a relentless 3D barrage of product placement and pent-up Bay psychosis and misogyny.
Oh fuck. Misogyny! Watch out, here I come with my bullshit politics again. Let me address that thought right after we finish this agonizingly long crane up Nicola Peltz’ legs and hold on her booty shorts, all the while we’re reminded multiple times in the film that she’s underage. Michael Bay wants us to know this. He also creates a giant vagina robot that gets blown away and has his a-hole protogonist-bot quip: “Take that, bitch!”
Ah, such eloquence. Such displays of a gentleman’s entertainment. Gimme that beer (or berrrh). Better yet give me that weird Chinese beverage that is so prominently displayed for no other reason that there’s a demographic to be cashed in upon. Wait - did Stanley Tucci just take the most incredible transmographic compound in the history of the universe and turn it into a ‘Beats by Dr. Dre’ bluetooth sound pill? This just shows us that Michael Bay isn’t stupid, he’s just mocking our own stupidity, which simply makes him an asshole. An asshole we’re freely giving our money to. Over and over again.
Halfway through this cinematic equivalent of punching myself in the nuts- wait, let me correct that, because I’m being an insensitive liberal asshole here. Comparing this movie to punching myself in the nuts is an insult to the underrepresented minority of people who actually enjoy getting repeatedly punched in the nuts. I’m sorry for being so insensitive and hostile to people having a good time. Go ahead and ignore the ‘do not try this at home’ warning on the last Jackass movie and create papercuts on your scrotum and pour lime juice into it. Have mindless fun. That’s your right, and I’ll pay to see you do it.
Because this is America (or better yet TEXAS, USA as the film reminds us, because there are so many other Texas’ out there) and in America we want our stories to not make sense and show Frasier Crane getting paid to lead an anti-immigrant parable only to have that mildly interesting plot point killed off in favor of even more questionable jailbait humor. Hey look, Nicola’s Red Bull-sponsored racing boyfriend just produced a legal document that says in Texas it’s okay to fondle an underage girl. Well I’m glad Michael Bay cleared that up for us.
Maybe I should follow the lead of the blatantly pan-Asian autobot (thank GOD they got rid of the blatantly ghetto Black autobot from the last movie) and try not to rock the boat. This is just a movie after all, and it’s okay if a movie has denigrating lowest-hanging-fruit messages like not being able to make an omelet without breaking some eggs (an Autobot yelling “just run ‘em over’ in reference to not being able to get those pesky humans out of the way) and Pleistocene revisionism that would make intelligent design proponents desperately look for scientific logic. It’s okay. This is entertainment, where nothing has to work, as long as it gets blown up in the end by a robot riding a giant fucking robot dinosaur.
I miss old curmudgeon Grimlock.
Sure, stupid is a form of entertainment. But lace that stupidity with misogyny, sexism, racism, nihilism, sociopath tendencies to kill innocent bystanders and NOT have any of these aforementioned elements be a part of the narrative or character development is just outright pandering to the worst parts of human civilization. It’s a propaganda snuff film, one that purports to be mindless entertainment and yet fuels and reinforces our most selfish and evil behavior. It’s absolute fucking horse shit, and we gave it our money, and because we gave it our money, we’ll continue to get more and more of it. Like FIFA. Like Hobby Lobby. Like Chick-Fil-A.
By giving shit like Transformers a pass, we’re giving passivity a positive veneer. Transformers doesn’t even try to be good, and we accept it as passable entertainment. We’ve given up even trying to embrace good entertainment, because as Robert Greene wrote “if we don’t try too much in life, if we limit our circle of action, we can give ourselves the illusion of control. The less we attempt, the less chances at failure. If we can make it look like we are not really responsible for our fate, for what happens to us in life, then our apparent powerlessness is more palatable.”
So continue to justify the inane and empower it in the name of mindless entertainment, of good chicken, of our God-given right to have a good time at anyone’s expense, because those people are far away and have nothing to do with our lives. That’s our right, let the next generation worry about the consequences of our insouciance, our fear of losing creature comforts, our desire to not fight for our right to party responsibly. The right to party has to be earned, it is not an entitlement.
THAT’S what I got from Transformers: The Age of Extinction. Sorry I misdirected on the last post, I hope this clears it up. Let’s go enjoy Tammy this weekend, I hear it’s insanely stupid entertainment.