the-article-is-a-little-ridiculous

So here we have a fun little article, that tells us all about how Yahoo changed tumblrs layout in order to make it a “youtube competitor” and I would be furious if it was any less ridiculous. Marissa Mayer has apparently decided that the original intention of this site, as a blogging platform that has thrived with articles, graphic design and gifs, is no longer going to make her bottom line. And just because she wasn’t able to buy her own video platform to fight youtube with, she must have decided that the only real option was to mold and push this one until all the graphic designers leave and it becomes some sort of video hybrid site that just might make money. This change wasn’t out of buffoonish stupidity, in the way that Karp made updates. This was a corporate move. This is a big fat fuck you to the current user base. This is yahoo saying, “Yeah, we know that you use our website for blogging but…we don’t really care about that.” This is a corporation straight out dictating what young people are supposed to care about, and how they’re supposed to use the online spaces that they have occupied for years. This is just fucking disgraceful. 

Please sign this petition and write to tumblr support. This may be a corporate choice, but it’s not one that we have to take quietly. 

3

I am absolutely disgusted. What the fuck is wrong with people? This was a memorial for innocent Americans that lost their lives to a senseless terrorist attack. If you’re so ridiculous that you feel the need to protest that, that’s fine. Go ahead and protest whatever you want. You don’t have any right to destroy someone else’s property. This display was cleared with the school and the fact that these assholes thought that they could destroy it anyway shows exactly how entitled they are.

I’m beyond pissed. Innocent people lost their lives. This isn’t a political statement. It’s about having a little fucking respect.

Link to the full article-
http://insider.foxnews.com/2016/09/12/vandals-destroy-911-memorial-occidental-college-campus

So basically…if you are a female and you date a man/have dated a man, you are no longer worthy of being referred to by your own name or being your own person. You are now that person’s ex-girlfriend or rumored girlfriend. This is great, just fantastic. What’s even worse is that at first, when reading the article, I didn’t even catch it. BECAUSE IM DESENSITIZED AND BRAINWASHED UGH.

GOOD FOR YOU SWIFT. every now and then, we need that little spark of sass to remind us about how ridiculous the media (and society) is AND WHY WE NEED FEMINISM.

GUYS I HAD AN IDEA!

Remember when Zoe made a vlog called “your skin doesn’t define you” and she told everyone to post picture without any makeup with the hashtag #BareFaceAndWhat?

Okay so after this ridiculous article being written I think it’s only far we bring this hashtag back with a twist. I thought it would be a really cool idea for everyone to post a selfie without any makeup and hashtag #BareFaceForZoella!

Post them on twitter, instagram, tumblr, etc. Tag Zoe and lets try and get her to notice a little sparkle of positivity and show her she’s an inspiration for us to be confident in our own skin :)

jezebel.com
I Was the Weirdest Person at BronyCon 2014

“Brony” is the nickname given to the adult (mostly male) fans of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. Their community—which is large, voracious and one of the most widely-ridiculed fan collectives this side of Equestria—gathers annually in a convention center to celebrate their enthusiasm for friendship tolerance and MLP. This year, I joined them.

You should all read this article if you have time, I thought it was a good read and not a bad look into the brony fandom from an outsiders perspective 

Fitting Room Adventures | Hoseok (Smut)

Originally posted by hoesoks

Word Count: 3,589

Warnings: s to the m to the u to the

A/N: That gif is killing me tbh thanks hoseok I hope this is worthy enough to you, anon I even threw in some oral for you so pls love me

Keep reading

No wonder Jesy and Perrie got along so well during their time on XFactor; they’re both ridiculous.

There’s a new article that features some winning quotes from these two tactful wonders!

The first quote is from Perrie about her skin tone

Oh really, Perrie.

Perhaps she’s a little gun shy about looking orange again because of the first time she tried a spray tan and failed at it.

And “taking America by storm”?  More like a taking America by a calm, slow-building drizzle….

Now there is Jesy’s foot-in-mouth disease acting up again

Stupid little Zayn Malik fans who are hating because they want Zayn!? 

They’re hating because you’re dumb girls who say dumb, immature things.

Don’t bite the hand that feeds you, girls.  The only reason you’re still a group who is able to even tour America is because of One Direction fans which include Zayn’s fans.  I’m pretty sure that a majority of Little Mix’s fans are Zayn fans who just happen to tolerate Little Mix despite the constant Zerrie shit being shoved down our throats.

SPOILER ALERT: Everything in this article totally happens all the time.

6 Shockingly Childish Abuses of Power by Airport Employees

#6. Airport Body Scanners Have Been Used to Rate (and Berate) Your Junk

According to ex-TSA agent Jason Harrington (and every fiber of common sense in your exposed body), body scanners are much more effective for mercilessly ridiculing passengers from behind closed doors than they are for spotting terrorists. Plastic explosives were apparently indistinguishable from fat rolls, leaving screeners with little more to do than make a sport out of laughing at overweight passengers and guessing the sex of ambiguously shaped bodies passing through scans. And when they aren’t laughing their asses off at man boobs and crotchular irregularities, screeners racially profile your genitals in the name of … national security, or, as Harrington explained, “All the old, crass stereotypes about race and genitalia size thrived on our secure government radio channels.” Which makes us feel markedly insecure. In our pants.

Read More

cracked.com
5 Insane Things Comic Books Believe Women's Bodies Can Do

It’s not only a matter of relying on unrealistic body standards, but doing it to a degree that we’re not sure these characters could even survive.

Guess what’s out? Another article by me! Again, it was heavily rewritten because I have no idea how to be funny, but reading this is helping me learn a little! I hope everyone enjoys.

They’re four talented, pretty young stars with the world at their feet.

However, it appears Little Mix are increasingly forgetting to smile during their current performances, leaving them looking like a bunch of angry young women.

— 

“Why are Little Mix so angry? Pop group bring the Grrr to girl power as they pull a series of ferocious faces at Liverpool gig” | Daily Mail

Um, excuse me? What’s with this not-even-subtly-misogynistic article? AND it’s accompanied by a bunch of either shit-quality photos that any decent concert photographer would have deleted OR totally badass-looking ones with “snarky” commentary (“Perhaps their grueling schedule is catching up with the four-piece” + “Angry…or just tired?” + “Cheer Up girls! Little Mix pull moody poses”)–all the while making a point to emphasize the “militaristic” nature of Salute. 

I generally find it pretty easy to laugh about ridiculous tabloid fodder, but I am genuinely surprised/annoyed/frustrated to see something that so blatantly feeds the idea that girls should always be smiling, should never been seen as “angry” or “tired”. Maybe they are angry! Maybe they are tired! Maybe they’re just dancing! Any of which would be totally acceptable and none of which should prompt someone to suggest that maybe they should just smile!

I guess I’m just sad that they’ve taken a song that (for many people) is encouraging and empowering, and attempted to negate that by lazily relying on the same old tired and insulting tactics that are always used to cut down strong women. 

“Fuck it! Those are wings!” – scientists of the Old-Timey Fun Era

5 Ridiculous Alternate Versions of Prehistoric Animals

#4. The Flying Stegosaurus

Citing just a little less than zero scientific research to back up his claim, one “Dr. W. H. Ballou” wrote an article in the Ogden Standard-Examiner describing how stegosaurus plates could fold down at will, creating “gliding surfaces immeasurably like those of the planes of to-day.” That’s right: All it took for a 5-ton behemoth to leap from a cliff and sail gracefully across the Jurassic skies were a series of miniscule back-plates and giant dinosaur balls. To push this madness even further, Ballou asserted that the stegosaurus was a direct ancestor of modern birds (it wasn’t, of course) and its plates were actually where wings came from.

Read More

3

The amazing people over at the De Laurentiis Company got the copy of Scream magazine I sent them with my Hannibal article in it, as well as the little piece of art I put in for them, and they gave me this ridiculously lovely mention in their January newsletter! I’m so honoured that I may start crying… again. 

Thank you so much to everyone who read the article and gave me feedback - I was so excited to be able to do this, and I’m hopefully going to be writing horror reviews for the magazine’s website this year which is really exciting, so when that teacup comes together again and we get season 4, I swear on Hannibal’s paisley tie collection that I’m gonna be the first one writing about it. I don’t think I would have made it to 2016 if it wasn’t for my nakama, and to be able to write publicly about you wonderful people and our wonderful show meant the world to me. 

- Samantha x

Excerpt of Danai Gurira article- London Evening Standard

Gurira wants colour-blind casting where it doesn’t undermine the plot. “With Shakespeare, there’s no reason why Hamlet shouldn’t be Chinese or Lady Macbeth Ghanaian. It was written close to 500 years ago! The idea that we’re still thinking about colour when casting Shakespeare is ridiculous.

She notes a little improvement. “You look at some amazing TV shows right now, like How to Get Away with Murder with Viola Davis. The fact she is black in the show has no relevance, but it’s a part where someone would have traditionally looked at that script and said ‘let’s cast a white woman’ FOR NO REASON.” She shouts the last three words.

Exceptions are times where race is integral to the narrative or where they offer a depiction that is scarce on screen. She feels her Walking Dead character, Michonne, is one such example. Michonne was African-American in Robert Kirkman’s comic book on which the series is based. “She has dreadlocks and a sword. Black women of that nature are under-represented on television.”

Gurira tells me proudly about all the different Michonne action figures. She clearly adores playing her: “I have this fantastic character who has complexity and a distance to go in terms of who she is and who she could be. That’s an actor’s dream.”

Michonne was almost silent in the early seasons, a stretch — I suggest — for someone as articulate as Gurira. “Yes, it built up a lot of intensity in my body. It made me step away from myself and find this woman and the wounds that caused her to create a mask of disconnect to the world.”

Many fans of the show want Michonne to become romantically involved with the male protagonist, Rick, played by Andrew Lincoln. They even have a portmanteau nickname: Richonne. “It makes total sense that [viewers] see something special. They have a very intimate friendship. It is a friendship, however. I have no idea what that evolves into next.” There’s a throaty laugh: “I appreciate that fans want Michonne to get some loving, though.”

~~~~~~~~

For the full article click here.

10

Presenting the Son of Coul! This is my insane knitter friend’s rendition of Agent Coulson, as seen with Agent May in a previous post. This is Coulson’s very own shoot. So, lets see what details knitpool.tumblr.com put into this work of art. He has a tie. Not a fake tie…but an actual tie. His white shirt has real buttons and buttonholes, and so does his jacket. They are entirely separate articles of clothing, though I slipped his arms out of them simultaneously, for sanity reasons. He has normal white underwear, but I insisted that he should have the Captain America underwear on because…its ridiculous. He has pants with a little button, and these articles of clothing are knitted out of some sort of really soft, thin yarn so that they aren’t bulky at all. Black socks. Black shoes. She knitted little ‘crows feet’ in the corners of his eyes, and his brutal scar over his heart from that mean ol’ Knit-Loki that must have given him so much trouble. Toes, fingers, separated thumb. Those details start to seem 'normal’ after seeing so much brilliance, but I know they aren’t. Coulson’s hairline is perfection and his hair is some sort of special yarn too, to be thinner-seeming. He has his earpiece, a coffee mug with the Avengers logo on it, filled with yarn-flavored coffee. And he has his destroyer gun too, which he had in the Avengers, and really brought full circle in Agents of Shield. 

I hope you enjoy the little poses, since I had a lot of fun making them. He was really happy to pal around with Fury and Cap, less with Loki but hey. 

#SaveCaptainAmerica

https://www.change.org/p/marvel-get-marvel-to-stop-hydra-captain-america?recruiter=552059924&utm_source=petitions_share&utm_medium=copylink

Click this link to go to a petition to save Captain America from Nick Spencer (an insensitive writer). He has declared the Cap to be a nazi sympathizer and an evil man the entire time, making him the biggest super villian in Marvel history. 

Imagine all the little boys and girls that grew up idolizing this man. A brave, kind person who (without the serum) wasn’t all that fit or imposing but nonetheless stuck up for the little® guy. This man destroyed a hero created during a time of ridiculous discrimination for the shock value. 

Info on the issue:

http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2016/05/25/captain-america-writer-nick-spencer-why-i-turned-steve-rogers-into-a-supervillain.html

http://www.comicbookresources.com/article/spencer-explains-steve-rogers-captain-america-return-sam-wilsons-status

http://time.com/4347224/captain-america-hydra-agent-marvel-tom-brevoort/

http://www.newser.com/story/225675/nerds-are-outraged-over-new-captain-america-reveal.html

Julie Plec says fans will never guess how Nina Dobrev will exit the show...uhh

http://www.ew.com/article/2015/04/10/vampire-diaries-nina-dobrev-exit-theories

Uh, that makes me a little nervous. I really hope it’s not that “eternal sleep” possible spoiler from someone who says a friend of a friend who is friend’s with Julie Plec said Kai puts Elena in an eternal sleep and connects her to Bonnie’s life, therefore if Bonnie dies then Elena wakes up, but as long as Bonnie is still living then Elena would stay asleep. And if they try to find a loophole then they both die. 

To me when I heard that I couldn’t stop laughing at how ridiculous that would be. I mean..really? Hahaha. I still highly doubt that would happen, because it doesn’t make sense logically. But here’s JP’s quote in this interview: 

“I won’t comment on how we will exit her,” EP Julie Plec says. The show’s fans, however, have plenty of theories. Here are a handful of them, submitted to EW via Twitter; share yours in the comments. And know this: “If by some miracle someone in this section is actually right,” says Plec, “I will personally take them to lunch—or a Skype cocktail hour—to talk about being a writer because clearly they should be one.”

I can tell you right now if it turns about to be that eternal sleep theory then she clearly needs to stop being a writer and be put away in a nut house.

The Ferriman-Gallwey scoring system for hirsutism

I spotted this while checking out a few articles on Pinterest, and while I can see many of the illustrations marking for hirsutism. I don’t know if I agree with the private area and thighs. We have hair all over our bodies. I just cannot see classifying pubic hair and a little thigh hair as hirsutism, at least in my opinion. When managing my hirsutism, my doctor always looks for the hair along my hair line extending, the amount of hair on my arms. But I also have it on my lower stomach, lower back, and further on. I just think it is ridiculous that many females are noticing their body hair and freaking out about it, because society expects us to be hair-free. When a girl comes to one of us, crying about faint, barely there hair on her face or arms, even stomach or chest, it is completely unacceptable for society to become this way. Before I was diagnosed with PCOS and hirsutism, I thought my body hair was normal, but then again, that was years ago. No one should be ashamed or embarrassed of their body hair, hirsutism or not. If one decided to remove their body hair, or leave it as it is, that is their choice.

I found the Evaluation and Treatment of Hirsutism in Premenopausal Women: An Endocrine Society Clinical Practice Guideline, but I have yet to get around to reading it. I just thought I would post if anyone else is interested, because I have heard people talking about it. 

Social Media Discourse

RANDI HARPER

So within the past week, amid the Star Citizen fiasco that I am wading through, I made the mistake of, you know, exercising my Free Speech rights and commenting on a GoogleIdeas article that appeared in my Twitter feed.

While I don’t want to make this statement about the aforementioned Ms Harper, let alone her storied history of wanton online abuse and harassment, in order for me to articulate the reason for this statement, I am left with little choice but to mention how we got here.

On the morning of Sept 24th, my day off, I was minding my own business, getting caught up with all the social media shenanigans when I was made aware of two Tweets by Ms Harper.

As ridiculous as they were, even though I didn’t get the context at first, I just assumed they were a joke. Especially since I had never before had an altercation with Ms Harper.

So I played along.

It wasn’t until I tried to look at her feed for context, that I realized that I had been blocked by her, presumably before she sent those tweets. Which is why they never showed up in my feed and I only saw them via re-tweets and mentions.

So a few of my followers started to re-tweet her feed, as well as DM me the context.

I was still slightly bemused and really thought I was just being trolled. That sort of thing simply doesn’t faze me. I’m used to it. And I tend not to overreact to such things.

I then figured out that these (1, 2) were the posts that seemingly enraged her (out of ALL the women who were a part of the GoogleIdeas event).

So I wrote Ms Harper a private (at the time) message which I pushed via PushBullet.

Now you are probably wondering how I got her phone number. I will give you the short version.

HARPER & THE GGAUTOBLOCKER

Over six months ago, at the height of the IGDA and ggautoblocker

controversy, the IGDA as well as Ms Harper, were under a barrage of attacks and negative publicity over the use of that tool.

Though I was well aware of Ms Harper’s online history, I was always of the opinion that people who are under constant attack, tend to do/say irrational things. As such, they have every right to use whatever means necessary to defend and protect themselves. I personally regard the use of blocking undesirables akin to A/V software. And even those tend to block legit software, websites etc routinely. You have to be vigilant.

Anyway, as the IGDA had seemingly - and unwittingly - endorsed this tool, Ms Harper fell within my purview of engagement in order to get to the bottom of it.

During the course of that, I had put a call out to Kate Edwards at the IGDA in order to engage her in discussions as to why this tool was being used. I advised them to stop using it. And in that conversation (as well as my online postings) I outlined the legal ramifications, as well as the potential for abuse if such tools were used to target innocent people. Especially where censorship and retaliatory actions are concerned. This aside from the potential for “false positives”.

It is the same caution that I extend to others when discussing GamerGate. A lot of people foolishly and maliciously brand it as a hate group, and in turn, brand the gamers associated with it, a hate group. Regardless of their innocence.

I told Kate that I would discuss with Ms Harper the merits of her tool so that, as an engineer myself, I could better understand it without passing judgement from the sidelines.

Via Twitter DMs - all of which I have archived - I had several exchanges with Ms Harper.

So imagine my surprise when, during the course of that, I discovered that, for some reason, I was actually placed on that ggautoblocker as well. No reason given.

I provided Harper with my GV number to call me in order to have a discussion about the tool, as well as why I was placed on it. I notified her that I had also spoken with Kate Edwards.

She subsequently called me. According to my call logs, that was precisely 33hrs later.

The conversation was short and direct. There was nothing personal about it. Harper talked about her previous job, what her plans going forward were, why she wrote the blockbot, how it worked, a bit about how she was being harassed etc.

Nothing else.

Later, she sent me a DM with the GoogleGroups link to ask to be removed from the list. In other words, I now had to go and ask to be removed from a list that I had no business being put on in the first place.

I was subsequently removed from that list.

I never heard from, nor communicate with Harper again.

Fast Forward to Sept 24th.

THE GOOGLEIDEAS FIASCO

As a result of this drama created - out of the Blue - by Ms Harper, those who were watching it unfold, came up with a synopsis (1,2) of what went down and in a very accurate sequence of events.

And so it had begun. The latest episode in a Harpish Drama event.

From behind the confines of her block, as seen from the many archives being passed around, Ms Harper and her followers proceeded to change the narrative - completely without context - in a bid to, again, to make her the victim. Despite the fact that she - again - started this latest drama and by her own actions which in turn led to where we are today.

In support of this, I submit the following storify which completely changes the narrative and skews the timeline and sequence of events. Complete with Tweets by myself and others, taken completely out of context and manipulated in support of said defamatory and false narrative.

Ignoring the denizens of her feed, especially the many people who fuel her drama, while refusing to call out her abhorrent behavior, I continued with the discussions in my feed and with my followers.

Knowing how these things go, I got into a discussion with my attorney who informed me that she can say anything she wants, even if untrue it had to rise to a certain standard. Of course, I already knew this. However, the key here is that making false defamatory statements, knowing them to be false and with malice, are reasonable cause of action. Which is why truth, more often than not, is always an absolute defense against defamation.

As a result of this, I was advised that if I wanted to send her a message that I wasn’t playing around and to advise her - on the record - that she was engaging in defamatory conduct, that a cease & desist (which by all accounts she would ignore), followed by a restraining (there is precedent) order (which she can’t ignore), were the best course of action because they allow the true events to be documented and inserted into the legal record. And doing so was better than all the obfuscation (see her Twitter feed and go from there) she and her followers were now attempting to perpetrated in their attempts to change the narrative and make her the victim. For something SHE started. And something SHE completely - out of the Blue - made up. Again.

Despite the fact that her second tweet was false, it falls under hyperbole (not to mention “he said, she said”) because the standards of defamation also rest with one’s ability to show malice or that what was said (slander) or written (libel) could be believed by a reasonable person.

Which is precisely why I was laughing when this whole thing started, and the primary reason that I had responded as I did, as captured here for context:

No reasonable person would believe that I could possibly ever be attracted to Ms Harper. Let alone get to the point of discussing marriage.

Notwithstanding the fact that I’ve never had any prior contact with her, let alone even met her.

Let the record show that it was over six months ago since that conversation took place with her.

People who know me, know that I try to maintain an intensely private personal life. One that is completely detached from my business as well as my infamous online persona. In this instance, knowing that ignoring her would not make her stop - since that’s how **bullies** operate - I was left with no choice but to make the comment that I did about my wife, as well as post her photo for context.

Subsequently, I made a series of tweets for clarity, and which someone was kind enough to compile into a TwitLonger.

Note that the “paper bag” comment is in reference to a joke by comedian Rodney Dangerfield. You can read it here:

I knew a girl so ugly that she was known as a two-bagger. That’s when you put a bag over your head in case the bag over her head breaks

That was the end of that.

THEBLOCKBOT

During this shitstorm, I was informed via DM that I had been placed on theblockbot as Level 1.

Naturally I was curious. Even though it was amusing to me that it is now so ridiculous that being on it is like a badge of honor. The hilarity that ensued in my feed over this, is pure joy to behold.

Despite my best attempts in trying to find out why I was placed on it, I was met only with ridicule and trolling. One of which was perpetrated by one of their own female admins, @MAMelby.

To the extent that amid my search for answers, this person instead sent me this YouTube video for my troubles.

This morning, I engaged this person in a discussion in order to find out precisely why I was placed on this list shortly after being harassed by Harper. Here is an archive of the exchange.

Then sent me a link which is supposed to articulate why I was added to this blocklist. As expected, it’s pure bullshit.

These statements should concern everyone as they completely encapsulate the dangers of using such a tool as well as using it for wanton abuse and censorship.

1) "We have never claimed to be objective.” (citation)

2) “It seems that the blocker added you for what they saw as an excessive retaliatory reaction.” (citation)

3) “These are my opinions based on the archival information and my own viewing of your twitter activity."  (citation)

4) The person subsequently posted this excerpt from their declaration of intent

I subsequently deduced from my exchange with this person - an admin of @theblockbot that

brilliant. now it comes out. so you’ve just confirmed that the blockbot serves no purpose other than a “big stick” for censorship“ (citation)

And THAT is precisely why, for many months, I have said that the use of this sort of tool has the potential to be abused by those who would misuse it. This is allowed. Yet, each day, people are up in arms about the govt. and corporations collecting their data, misusing it etc.

This person stated it even more eloquently than I did:

No, the block list is deliberately associating others in an attempt to shame them publicly for voicing dissenting opinions.“

CONCLUSION

The sequence of events as have unfolded clearly show how tools like this can be used for abuse, harassment and censorship. It is dangerous.

As I type this, like others, I am left wondering why Ms Harper, for all her online antics, and going by the very rules & guidelines used by @theblockbot, why is she NOT on it?

This is where we are. 

I don’t take this sort of thing lightly because it goes beyond trolling and "fun”. 

A statement has already been prepared by my attorney to be dispatched to not only GoogleIdeas and Twitter, but also other groups who seek to shield and empower these people, try to pass them off as innocent victims (yes - they are in many regards) while these very victims are doing precisely that which they claim to abhor.

It is this double standard that has tainted the spirit and nature of online discourse and in which the lives of many innocent people - many of whom can’t defend themselves - have had their lives ruined.

This will not stand.

UPDATE: As if on cue, less than 48hrs after the Harper Incident, another member of the pose, Brianna Wu, decided to jump on the bandwagon. And as shocking (not!) as it may sound, she too lied about my experiences (arguments) with her. But given my experience with Internet discourse and my penchant for archiving every goddamn thing when dealing with lunatics or people off their meds, I made short order of her bullshit: I posted the archives of both Facebook discussions I had with her in the past. 

How Eyelashes Have Changed Over the Last 100 Years

Back before anyone had ever heard the word “Kardashian,” one guy was playing around with coal dust and Vaseline and haphazardly created the world’s first mascara. His name was Eugene Rimmel. Yes, of the Kate Moss red lipstick Rimmels. Back then, though, he was the personal perfumer to Queen Victoria. And today, you can respectfully refer to him as the impetus for this article. Welcome to the evolution of eyelashes.

1920s

One day in 1915, Mabel Williams was dutifully trying to darken her lashes by rubbing a burnt cork in petroleum jelly. Her brother, Tom Lyle Williams, recognized how ridiculous this was and attempted to help by adding cottonseed and safflower oil to the mix. He called his product “Lash-Brow-Ine,” and officially launched a little company called Maybelline in 1923 (that’s his sister’s name plus the word Vaseline). At the beginning of the decade, you can see that lashes were fairly sparse (Lillian Gish, left), and the silent film stars of the era relied on kohl liner to enhance their melancholic gaze. By the end, however, eyelashes had beefed up significantly  (Gloria Swanson, right). Sure, that was probably aided by falsies—which had their official film debut in 1916’s Intolerance, Love’s Struggle Through the Ages on actress Seena Owen—but artificial lashes did not gain widespread use in Hollywood until 1930.

1930s

With lashes now darker than ever before—the product was aptly renamed mascara in 1933—makeup pioneers set out to conquer another goal: the curl. Patents for lash curling devices began cropping up in 1923, but it was the 1931 invention by William McDonnell and Charles Stickel coined “Kurlash” that made a splash in the mainstream market. The ‘30s lash curler basically looked the same as your Shu Uemura one today (complete with rubber replacements), and since it was fashioned from stainless steel, it was cheap enough for the average Jane to afford. Actresses Bebe Daniels and Jean Harlow were fans too, apparently.

1940s

Runny mascara face was still a problem back in the ‘40s, though. This issue was solved by Polish immigrant Maksymilian Faktorowicz (you know him as Max Factor now), who originally created a waxy cream formula in the ‘20s that was used in films by Theda Bara and Clara Bow. The only issue? It was so sticky that after shooting their scenes, the ladies couldn’t open their eyes. By the ‘40s, however, this formula issue had been reversed, and waterproof mascaras hit shelves. Screen star Hedy Lamarr and singer-actress Sheila Guyse did not have to suffer the same fate as their predecessors.

1950s

Although it was now considered a daily part of women’s beauty routines, mascara had still been sold in pots and cases up until this point. Translation: application wasn’t easy. In 1958, however, Revlon introduced “roll on” mascara in a tube, complete with spiral brush. Just a whirl of the mascara wand and a swipe of lipstick, and you had wide-eyed, family-friendly goodness (Janet Leigh) or wide-eyed, bombshell status (Rita Moreno).

1960s

Then things got groovy. While the Hollywood stars of decades past had dabbled in falsies, they largely eluded the general public. That all changed in the ‘60s when exaggerated eyes came into vogue, with a little help from swinging London models Twiggy and Penelope Tree (center and right). Women used Revlon’s 1961 “brush on” mascara to paint spider lashes on their lower lash line, or went to beauty salons to have artificial cluster lashes made from human hair or synthetic materials glued in place like American actress Diahann Carroll (left).

1970s

Maybelline introduced its iconic Great Lash mascara to the market in 1971, which boasted a water-based formula that essentially eradicated eye irritation (it’s still one of the top-selling cosmetics in the world today). Nevertheless, the ‘70s were divided on the general eye area. In one corner, we had the glittery excess of Studio 54, as modeled by one Liza Minnelli. In the other corner, we had the back-to-nature minimalism seen on actress Karen Allen and countless other center-parted, bare-faced beauties. We call it a draw.

1980s

While it first hit drugstores in 1961, colored mascara gained more traction in the ‘80s—which really shouldn’t surprise anyone. When girls weren’t getting dressed up to cruise the mall, though, they were playing up their eyes with brown tones like Molly Ringwald, or letting mascara take a backseat to blush like a totally amazing Demi Moore.

1990s

Both the ‘80s and ‘90s experienced a bit of a ‘50s revival, spurred by Madonna and culminating with Twin Peaks’ Sherilyn Fenn (center). That being said, lashes weren’t a big thing in the ‘90s. Blame it on Nirvana—or Kate Moss—but there’s no denying that while lips went bold and lip-lined, brows went whisper-thin and lashes were drowned out by eyeshadow. See ‘90s Reese Witherspoon and Gwyneth Paltrow for reference.

2000s

They came back in the aughts, though, mainly in the form of falsies and preferably served alongside clear lip gloss and a spray tan. Gabrielle Union and Sarah Michelle Gellar played it safe, but J-Lo got some flack from PETA when she showed up to the 2001 Academy Awards wearing auburn fox-fur lashes. Regardless, her move brought artificial lashes (which hadn’t enjoyed widespread popularity since the ‘60s) back in a big way, even spurring The New York Times to write a trend piece on the practice in 2005. As for the mascara industry in general, things were going okay: 60 percent of women reported they used the product in 2002, and the global mascara market brought in $4.1 billion in 2009. Yes, there was a recession going on then. And yes, the market still increased by 15 percent.

Today

Nowadays, no celebrity steps on to a red carpet without faux eyelashes (or at least it feels that way). Many industrious ladies also invest in lash extensions—which last for weeks instead of hours—to add some mileage to their blinks. The concept of extensions, in fact, is so new that there’s no reliable information as to how it all started. Maybe we invented it? Whatever the case, there’s no denying that things are more insane than ever before (Kim K, Katy Perry, and Agyness Deyn demonstrate). And we wouldn’t have it any other way.

Related:

The Evolution of Lipstick

The Evolution of Eyebrows

The Evolution of Manicures

The Evolution of Bobs