I can’t stop thinking about the wisecrack carrie fisher would make about debbie reynolds dying a day after her: the joke about her family, always bringing the drama, the ‘she couldn’t stand to let me have all the attention even when I had just died. I want you all to remember that I did it first.’
I like to imagine her in the afterlife adding material to her stand up: ‘I’m really disappointed to be here tonight, I was hoping I’d get to haunt george lucas for that metal bikini.’ ‘do you know how long the line for this place is? I flipped off nancy reagan and fidel castro on the way in. ’ ‘when I said dear lord please don’t let me live to see that orange buffoon be president I should have been a helluva lot more specific.’
playing to a sold out audience, her mother in the front row. bowie and rickman at a table in the back.
Teddy’s birth as seen by Lily, James and a very jealous Sirius
Sirius: I don’t like babies.
Lily: You almost died of happiness when you first held Harry. You even cried.
Sirius:*hissing* I did no such thing because I don’t like babies.
James:*grinning* Maybe it’s just this one baby Pads.
Sirius: Shut it, Prongs.
Lily: Another war baby, I hope his fate will be different.
James: It will be because this time the war will end, Lils.
Sirius: Tell me when it’s over.
James: You had begged to be there when Evans gave birth?
Sirius: I was young and stupid.
Lily: Aren’t you being a little bit too dramatic? You should be happy. It’s Remus for heaven’s sake.
Sirius:*sarcastically* I’m so happy that the love of my life is having a baby from my cousin’s daughter.
Lily: When you say it like that..
Sirius: *impatiently* Well, that’s how it is.
James:*excited* He is here and he looks like a handsome potato.
Lily: Oh this is weird.
Sirius: What is weird?
James: Let’s just say all those cousin marriages took it’s toll on your gene pool Pads.
Sirius: What the fuck are you talking about?
Lily: *quietly* He looks like you.
Sirius: You have got to be fucking kidding me.
James: Um, yeah, no.
Lily: Can I ask something? How will they know if he’s a werewolf or not?
Sirius: Full moon, there’s no other way to know. *pauses, stares at the baby* He really looks like me.
James: I think there’s another way.
Sirius: No, there i–
Lily: His hair is becoming ginger?
Sirius:*relieved* IS HE A METAMORPHMAGUS?
Sirius: It’s impossible to dislike him and I’m trying really hard.
Lily: His name is Teddy Remus.
James:*laughing* Oh, now that’s cheating. Harry James, Teddy Remus I mean, come on Moony.
Sirius: He always thought he couldn’t ever have a child because he wasn’t entitled to it being the monster he is. I tried to tell him maybe thousand times, look at his face.
Lily: You like Teddy, don’t you?
Sirius: Of course I like him, I love him even. Look at how Moony’s face lit up, I haven’t seen his eyes glow like that in years.
James: Now, he has a reason to survive.
Lily: Did Remus just apparate from the side of his new born baby and wife?
James: He did, where is he Pads?
Sirius: He’s at the Weasley cottage where Harry’s hiding.
James: He is scaring the living shit out of them.
Lily:*smiling* Ah, I missed excited Remus.
Remus hugs Harry.
James:*longingly* Hug him for us, too, Moony.
“You’ll be godfather?” he said as he released Harry.
Lily: *starts crying* Merlin, Remus must you make me cry?
James:*his hands in his hair* My son is the godfather of my best friend’s boy. I never knew I wanted this until this moment.
Sirius:*sadly* He will be a better godfather than I ever was.
James: Pads. we chose you. Me and Evans. We chose you because we knew you were perfect for it and you did everything you could.
Sirius: Yeah, I got myself locked up in Azkaban.
Lily: No one is blaming you for that, not us, not Harry.
James: Harry loved you even though you had two years together, you were his Paddy and he was your fawn. I wouldn’t have even dreamed of making another person the godfather of my first child.
Lily:*staring into distance* We were going to have enough kids for each one of you to become godfathers but you, you were the obvious first choice. You are James’ brother, please stop feeling guilty about this.
James:*trying to cheer Sirius up* Let’s enjoy this moment mate, imagine how punk rock this kid would be.
Sirius:*softly smiling as he’s staring at his hands* Very.
Lily: Come on let’s just watch Remus before the dark times start again.
There is a certain booth in a certain Denny’s haunted by the ghost of Andy Jones. His tortured soul remains barred from the afterlife lest he settle his unfinished business, an unfinished glass of Fanta. At certain times of night you can hear him. “sip”…”sip”…”sip”. But like Sisyphus and his boulder, every time Andy’s Fanta nears the bottom of the glass, a server comes by to top him off. Always tending to the refills. 24 hours a day. 7 days a week. Trapping him forever in this ether between the realms of the living and the dead.
okay but like… overwatch seems especially attractive to tall people (reyes, reinhardt, zarya, etc.), so the watchpoints are all built around the idea that the average human height is six foot plus. and since there’s not a chance in hell he’s gonna go fetch a Tall Person ™ to get things down from the top shelves, hanzo starts climbing all over shit to reach the high places. he free-climbs up walls, he can handle a set of kitchen cabinets. he is a hero to the short people on base.
This is a really good point and an amazing headcanon, and as a smol person myself i fully embrace this like you have no idea. The man is also a master of furniture jenga, who can and will use anything he can lift to reach his destination. And being the master of pranks (@blckwatchmccree & I decided this), He is the smol terror the tol’s fear in the dark kitchen when hunting for midnight snacks… they never know what cabinet they might find him in ready to strike.
Another 15 Things that you could put in your BOS/Grimoire/whatever you call it.
I decided to write another of these lists…. I really do hope
they help someone.
The chakras – do you use them? Write about it? Research
Your magical ethics – what do you believe you
should and shouldn’t do? It’s all well and good following others rules, why not
come up with your own?
Myths/legends – are there any myths or legends
revolving around deities you work with or even just like? If so how about popping
them in your book.
Folk tales – do you live in an area with a rich
folk tale history? Do you believe in the folk lore? Are you a traditional witch
who works with the lore of the land?
Names of each full moon.
Photos of your altar.
Family traditions – do you have any traditions
with your family? Do you on the first day of spring go for a walk with your
parents every year? Or do you visit a loved one who has passed in the cemetery
on their birthday?
Views on the afterlife – do you have an opinion
on what happens after we die?
Deities to call upon – if you work with deities,
but do not have matron/patron why not write a list of the deities that you can
call upon for different situations.
A table of smudges – I cleanse my home every
month or so (I have spiritual activity here) I have a table that says when I
have/need to cleanse my home again, and notes on what happened.
Herbal growing – if you grow your own fresh?
write about it.
Making your own cleanse/smudge sticks – a how
Nature correspondences – especially things that
are local to your area, that you could potentially use in spell/ritual work.