the importance of being earnest

oscar wilde
  • had three middle names
  • spoke five languages
  • was sentenced to prison for sodomy
  • was 16 when he had his first kiss
  • loved to travel
  • had an eidetic memory
  • lied about his age on his marriage certificate
  • held seances at his house
  • spoke with his hand in front of his mouth bc he was embarrassed by how supernaturally white his teeth were
  • kept a vase of flowers on his writing desk to neutralize the smell of his ashtray
  • had a passion for interior design and aesthetics—his drawing room was painted blue and covered in dragons, he even pressed feathers into the plaster to make it look cool
  • the kids at his school called him “grey crow”
  • one of the reasons he didn’t commit suicide was bc he was afraid he would go to hell for it
  • his favorite word was ivory
  • his last words were “i am in a duel to the death with this wallpaper, one of us has got to go”
  • his grave, in paris, has become the target of mass quantities of lipstick kisses. no lie. it’s literally covered in lipstick stains. and a sphinx. he also asked to be buried with his former lover’s ashes

anonymous asked:

When did you lost your virginity?

lady bracknell, i admit with shame that I do not know. i only wish i did. the plain facts of the case are these: on the morning of the day you mention, a day that is for ever branded on my memory, i prepared as usual to take my virginity out in its perambulator. i had also with me a somewhat old, but capacious hand-bag in which i had intended to place the manuscript of a work of fiction that i had written during my few unoccupied hours. in a moment of mental abstraction, for which i never can forgive myself, i deposited the manuscript in the basinette, and placed the virginity in the hand-bag. and i left it, god forgive me, in the cloakroom of one of the larger railway stations in london. victoria.. the brighton line. i lived for that regret ever since. i would never forgive myself. 

the signs as oscar wilde quotes.
  • aries: “I don’t want to be at the mercy of my emotions. I want to use them, to enjoy them, and to dominate them” (Dorian Gray; ‘The Picture of Dorian Gray’).
  • taurus: “The good ended happily, and the bad unhappily. That is what Fiction means” (Miss Prism; ‘The Importance of Being Earnest’).
  • gemini: “Do you really think, Arthur, that it is weakness that yields to temptation? I tell you that there are terrible temptations that it requires strength, strength and courage, to yield to” (Sir Robert Chiltern; ‘An Ideal Husband’).
  • cancer: “The mystery of love is greater than the mystery of death. Love only should one consider” (Salomé; ‘Salomé’).
  • leo: “Be warned in time, James, and remain, as I do, incomprehensible: to be great is to be misunderstood” (letter to James McNeill Whistler, 23rd February 1885).
  • virgo: “Don’t come here. I will come to you. Ever yours” (letter to Lord Alfred “Bosie” Douglas, August 1894).
  • libra: “The only difference between the saint and the sinner is that every saint has a past and every sinner has a future” (Lord Illingworth; ‘A Woman Of No Importance’).
  • scorpio: “I am so glad you like that strange coloured book of mine: it contains much of me in it. Basil Hallward is what I think I am: Lord Henry is what the world thinks me: Dorian is what I would like to be — in other ages perhaps” (letter to Ralph Payne, 12th February 1894).
  • sagittarius: “Everyone is worthy of love, except him who thinks that he is. Love is a sacrament that should be taken kneeling” (‘De Profundis’; letter to Lord Arthur “Bosie” Douglas, written during Wilde’s incarceration at Reading Gaol).
  • capricorn: “Ideals are dangerous things. Realities are better. They wound, but they’re better” (Mrs. Erlynne; ‘Lady Windermere’s Fan’).
  • aquarius: “…we shall have true, beautiful, healthy Individualism. Nobody will waste his life… One will live. To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all” (‘The Soul Of Man Under Socialism’).
  • pisces: “A dreamer is one who can only find his way by moonlight, and his punishment is that he sees the dawn before the rest of the world” (‘The Critic As Artist’).
Aaaaaah!

I am so on a literary-adaptation webseries kick right now!  I felt I have to share all the ones I’ve seen/have in my “Watch Later”.

Now, before you say anything, I’m all up to date on the Pemberly Digital series.  I’m not going to talk about “The Lizzie Bennett Diaries”, “Welcome to Sanditon”, “Emma, Approved”, or “Frankenstein, MD”.

I will, however, point out that they have started a new one, an adaptation of Little Women called “The March Family Letters”.

And now, one to the plugging!

“Classic Alice” is a webseries about a college student who decides to live her life according to a series of classic novels

“Nothing Much to Do” is Much Ado about Nothing set in high school in New Zealand.  Use this playlist to watch the whole series, since it encompasses 4 different channels.  Seriously, watch this one.  I want to watch it again, and I almost NEVER do that! *complete*

“Elinor and Marianne Take Barton”.  Sense & Sensibility in college, told via Marianne’s vlog.

“A Tell-Tale Vlog”  Edgar Allen Poe and Lenore decide to film a vlog about living together.  You should also check out the other videos by Shipwrecked; they’re all of a classic literary and romance bent.

“In Earnest”  The Importance of Being Earnest set in college, told as a series of vlogs from the viewpoints of Jack, Algie, and Cecily, all on one channel for your convenience!

“The Autobiography of Jane Eyre” is a modern Jane’s vlog.  This is another one I might watch again. *complete*

“Green Gables Fables” Anne Shirley in high school, now, with a vlog.  Her classmates also have vlog channels, so make sure you watch those when they come in.

“From Mansfield with Love” Jane Austen's Mansfield Park set in a hotel that was a great estate, told via the vlog of the put-upon junior housekeeper.

“A Midsemester Night’s Dream” is a production of A Midsummer Night’s Dream……….. with a few updates to the dialogue, and modern characterizations.  Like hipster-Lysander and Drama major-Bottom. *complete*

“The Importance of Being Mike” is kinda inspired by The Importance of Being Earnest.  Like, what would Cecily be like if she lived now?  Oh, yeah, it’s not the story you’re used to.

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And now for the things I have queued.

“Jules and Monty”  Romeo and Juliet have been given the same assignment for their college Communications class: keep a vlog. *complete*

“The Emma Project” is yet another vlog adaptation of Emma*complete*

“University Ever After” appears to be about the college-age versions of a bunch of fairy tale characters.  Made by the same people as “A Midsemester Night’s Dream”, but made before.  I’m watching them in reverse order.

“A Bit Much”  Another vlog adaptation of my favorite Shakespeare play.  Dunno the specifics yet, but I will in a couple days.

“Kate the Cursed”  The Shrew has a video blog.  I have to see this.

“The Nick Carraway Chronicles”  If F. Scott Fitzgerald had lived now, his greatest story would have been told via vlog.

“Much Ado about a Webseries”  Guess what this is YET ANOTHER adaptation of?  Something I wouldn’t miss, that’s what.

I’ve just realised how similar this exchange is to the famous “interview” scene in “The Imprtance of Being Earnest” by Oscar Wilde, in which Lady Bracknell tells Jack Worthing (the love interest of Gwendolen Fairfax) to sit down, to which he replies “I prefer standing”. This is interesting as Mycroft is said to have played Lady Bracknell at school, going by the final problem, directly addressing this similarity… and considering how Lady Bracknell is interviewing Jack for marriage to her daughter here… 👀👀👀👀👀 we may be expecting a happy announcement by the end of the series…

I’m gonna write an updated comedy of manners about excel spreadsheets and webcomic artists in which Jack Worthington is a data analyst who has invented a fake free-spirited webcomic artist brother so he has an excuse to visit the city; his STEM mentee Cecily lives in the burbs and builds robots but dreams of going to the city to meet Jack’s romantic artist wastrel brother. Meanwhile Jack’s friend Algernon, who is a “startup entrepreneur” with no visible employment, has discovered Jack’s secret life and threatened to tell his girlfriend, hipster social justice activist Gwendolyn, who thinks Jack works for Algy’s startup because that’s way hipper than wrangling Excel spreadsheets all day. 

All is upset by Mrs. Bracknell, the imperious baby boomer who can never get the right coffee order or change from Dr. Frederica Chasuble, a barista who has an unmarketable PHD in feminist classical theology and a crush on Cecily’s college admissions coach Ms. Prism. Mrs. Bracknell doesn’t want Jack marrying Gwendolyn because due to a database error at the hospital when he was born, most institutions (banks, cellphone providers, insurance companies) think Jack is deceased. 

I will call it The Importance Of Saving Versions.