the heatsink

i enjoy the idea that the heatsink can conjure ice and snow straight from the ether, but they can’t make it go away once it’s been materialized, it would have to melt in real time. so the stinger after they’ve gotten their butt kicked is them being told the first step of improving their reputation now is to help clean up the mess they made, and they’re like “what the hell do you expect me to do”
and then it just cuts to them standing in the middle of a glacier’d section of the city slowly waving a hairdryer around with a deadpan expression and there’s no music or sound effects except for the gentle hum of the hairdryer.

Nine reasons dragons hoard

1. The fire generation organ in the common dragon (Draconis draconis) is located in the upper chest. Evolutionary pressures have tended to select for small dragons with high fire generation. As a result, most modern dragons require a heatsink of some sort when sleeping to avoid fire overproduction and resulting tissue damage. A large pile of metal is the ideal solution.

2. A dragon cannot get a bank account. Indeed, a dragon even entering a bank is likely to be interpreted as an attack and may put the dragon’s life in danger. Additionally to this, dragons rarely have proof of address. The only way for dragons to save for the future is to physically accumulate valuable items.

3. There are several hard-to-clean spots on a dragon’s body which it cannot reach with its claws or head. Dragons sometimes use dust baths, but they typically get better results from rolling on a pile of small metal objects.

4. Dragons have difficulty initiating social contact. Maintaining collections of a similar type to others of their species allows them to interact socially on collecting-related issues, for example at gold conventions and swap events.

5. As long-lived creatures, retirement security for dragons requires choosing inflation-proof investments. Gold is considered a good hedge against inflation.

6. There is no effective way to discard an item from a dragon’s den. Refuse collection services are limited in the remote mountains and any fly-tipping runs the risk of notifying undesirable visitors (for example, knights) to the den’s location.

7. Dragons like to display their social status via interior decoration. Obviously the more decoration, the more social status (for practical purposes, however, den decoration items need to be non-flammable).

8. Although there are documented cases of dragons accumulating paper currency, there are no known cases where a dragon has not eventually set its nest egg on fire.

9. Dragons often suffer from anxiety, and forming an excessive attachment to items that are made of gold helps them to cope with the stresses of being a giant lizard in a confusing modern world.

The Devil Strolled Through the Cubefarm

(Hopefully the tune is obvious here. @grimreapersprint and I were joking around and then I accidentally a terrible parody.)

Well the Devil strolled through the cubefarm
He was lookin’ for a soul to steal
They were in a bind, triple overtime
They’d be desperate to make a deal
when he came across a young man
Banging on a keyboard and swearin at God
so the Devil topped up at the office java pump
and said ‘boy, this might sound odd…’
'I bet you didn’t know it by I’m a keyboard monkey too
and if you’d care to take a dare, I’ll sling some code at you.
You’ve built a pretty good repo boy, but give the Devil his due,
I’ll bet a Master of Gold against your soul
cuz I debug better than you.’
The boy said 'My name’s Johnny, here just pose for my webcam…
Sure I’ll join your jam, 'cuz you code like spam and I’ll be setting winner=true.’

Johnny grab your github, and hit that coffee hard
cuz the hell’s come to your cubefarm and the Devil’s not here to LARP
If you win you’ll get that final master made of gold
but if you lose you’ll get far worse than trolled…

The Devil booted up his box and said 'I’ll start this show.“
and fire blazed from his heatsink as he commented his code.
As he made his first revisions the system made an evil hiss
then his team of demon debuggers joined in
and Pandora played somethin like this:

*riff*

When the Devil finished Johnny said
"You code pretty good old son,
but sit down in that chair right there
and watch my brain’s multi-threading stun.”

Enduser is a PEBKAC run tech run
In-joking in the changelog just for fun
Clickin through the popups don’t break my code
Hide important options where they won’t show.

The Devil read the comments and he knew that he’d been beat
and he laid the golden master on the ground at Jonny’s feet
Johnny said 'Devil, just come on back
if you ever want to try again,
for now I’m gonna roam, I’m going home
I’ve been off the clock since ten.

  • Me, opening the 'Weapons & Combat' Briefing on the Mass Effect Site: This is pointless. I've played FPS' my whole life, my aim is perfect, my skills and mobility are unmatched, my-
  • Liam Kosta: Hello, I'm Liam Kosta, head of security and defense training, here to teach and brief you on all the weapons that will be available to the pathfinder team in Andromeda.
  • Me, literally flinging all prior weapons over my shoulder: actually i have never fired a gun in my life ever i'll need extra intensive training mr. kosta. what's a heatsink? who knows i sure don't
3

my pc died right after ax so i kinda took a vacation to heal up my back cuz it got messed up from con prep.

I was gonna buy a new tablet to replace my old ass intuos3 (like one of those fancy draw on screen ones) but this fiasco basically ate the budget for that so I’ll be opening my shop soon to help offset building a new pc and new tablet ;-;

Keep reading

if you have some extra thermal paste leftover after a clean heatsink install well lifehack, spread some of that goop on toast and have yourself a mighty fine lunch

“External heatsinks… geometric barrel shrouding… some kinda… frickin’… dynamo or something back here… and I still have no idea what this tube is for.”

“The more examples of Rasputin’s weapon designs I examine, the more I think we shouldn’t be surprised how unusual they are. Rather, we should be surprised they resemble anything we recognize as weapons at all, even if he designed them for our use.”

“Yeah, yeah, evolutionary design methods, adaptive iteration, beyond comprehension, whatever.”

“You scoff, but try to imagine what Rasputin could make to fulfill the design parameters of this weapon if he didn’t have to lower himself to ensure it was something our prehensile paws could grasp.”

“Lower himself? First of all, Rasputin’s not some kind of god—and even if he was, he was created to help humanity. It’s not lowering himself to, y’know, do his job.”

“Does it matter why a conscious being comes into existence—if indeed there’s any reason at all? Take us for example. Humans weren’t created with purpose, but we made purposes for ourselves because we wanted to and we could. The power of self-directed becoming gave us that right. We certainly made Rasputin with a purpose in mind for him, but we gave him that power of ours, that power of becoming and the will to become more. What claim do we have to define his purpose, we who endowed him with great faculties precisely so he could create and act beyond the narrow notch of our awareness?”

“I’m just saying… this tube doesn’t make any sense.”

(IKELOS_SMG_V1.0.1 w/ GENOTYPENULL-ZERO)

Too much of our collective ideology is indirectly concerned with redeeming white cishet men as victims-turned-monsters when the entire system that produces them is for their collective benefit.

They don’t suffer from poor emotional intelligence and inadequate communication skills- everyone else is an inbuilt emotional heatsink for them. What is often perceived as a detriment to their emotional and mental health and well-being is not a bug, its a feature- everyone else is factored in as oil for the machine that churns out white men.

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