The Foxes As Things My Friends Have Said

Neil: I am what scientists call a sentient disaster.

Andrew: Don’t worry, I’ve already scouted out the potential body hiding places around here. (Nicky probably: I wasn’t worried but now I am…)

Kevin: Sometimes when I’m at the gym I start screaming and people think I’m doing an intense work out but I’m really just remembering that one time I was given a C when I know I deserved a B+.

Nicky: *drunk and trying to flirt* Lucky for you, I am a gay with no standards and daddy issues.

Dan: Who needs their own kids when they are a Group Mom of nine friend-babies?

Matt: Sometimes I worry that my dog thinks I’m ugly.

Allison: It should be a crime to deny people from my presence.

Renee: I tried being nice but sometimes a girl has to step on some balls to get where she needs to be.

Aaron: My mother doesn’t love me but at least the Starbucks man remembers my name and order.

Seth: I’m not a stoner but like I think I’m addicted to weed.

A personal WIP of something from my Pokemon writings
Soo not even closed to finished but I wanted to post something even vaguely relevant to my current interests LOL Have been revamping the story quite a bit so I’m super pumped about it.

Whenever someone ask Neil why he is dating Andrew these are the sarcastic answers he gives, because he doesn’t need to justify his relationship to anyone:

“I always wanted to be the taller one in a relationship.”

“I’m just holding out for when he dies, because then I will inherit all of his knives.”

“Free and limitless supply of cigarettes.”

"He promised to protect me from my serial killer father and the Yakuza. How could I turn that down?”

“Kevin really pissed me off one day. To get back at him I did the one thing that would drive him absolutely crazy, date Andrew.”

“I’m dating Andrew Minyard?”

“One day he asked me for the date in German. Turns out he was asking for a date. I apparently don’t know German as well as I thought I did, and I’m too petty to admit it.”

“I heard he was pre-med. So I decided that if all this Exy stuff falls through I could at least be the trophy husband of a Doctor. Turns out it’s Aaron who is pre-med.”

“I’m really into Maseratis.”

  • Andrew: *picks up phone* what happened now
  • Neil: I'm lying in a pool of blood
  • Andrew: it your blood?
  • Neil: yeah I think so
  • Andrew: where is the blood coming from?
  • Neil: probably the stab wound
  • Andrew: you were stabbed?
  • Neil: oh yeah definitely