Universal experiences that prove why D&D is both the best and worst game ever:

“Make a stealth check.” “45.” “Your character just stops existing.”

“Now he’s gonna attack you, and—aw, fuck!” “Did you roll a nat—“ “I rolled a nat 1.”

“That’s 34 points of damage.” “I’m dead.” “You’re not dead—“

“I’m gonna cast [every AoE spell ever] on that guy.” “Hey! I’m standing right next to him!” “You’ve got a lot of HP, you’ll be fine.”

“I’m not sure you can do tha—“ “Nat 20.” “…you do that, I guess.”

“Wait, can I go ask [enemy NPC] for info?” “No, you killed him. He’s super-dead! His blood is everywhere, he’s not talking.”

“Make a persuasion check.” “Well I rolled a 2, but with my modifier it’s a 25.” “Nobody is allowed to play a bard next campaign.”

“You’re not proficient in that.” “Can I still try?” “…sure.”

“Come on guys, you almost had it.” “It’s been 45 minutes. Can you just tell us the answer?” “No. I believe in you. Now solve my puzzle.”

And, of course, the greatest one of all:

“…[heavy sigh]. Roll for seduction.”

I was waiting for my bus back home this morning after the Seattle mbmbam and taz liveshows and I saw the McElroys getting out of a van at the station and I just want everyone to know that while everyone (I mean everyone, the boys, their wives, Clint, and Sydnee’s parents) were all struggling carrying these HUGE bags, Griffin was standing off to the side, one hip cocked out, drinking a cup of coffee watching without even holding a bag. He looked like a model and I feel like I saw God.

My little brother loves the adventure zone, and his favorite character is Taako.

My little brother is 8, and he just told my mom he thinks he’s gay. “sort of gay now” he said, noting that he’s a kid. But he told her he knows he’ll be gay when he grows up.

My little brother knows I’m gay, and he’s been asking me about it. Tonight he asked me about what gay weddings were like. “Not crazy?” he said, because he’d been to one recently, and it had been a little ceremony on the beach. I didn’t realize at the moment that he might be trying to feel something out. It took me so long to come to terms with who I am, I didn’t consider that some people start thinking on it earlier.

My little brother read the Taz graphic novel with me a few months ago, and Taako was his favorite. I told him “Taako’s dating the grim reaper, his name is Kravitz”. He looked up really fast. “Taako’s gay?” he said it in a voice I now realize was peaked with interest. I thought he was just curious, but I think it was delight, and a feeling of something dawning on him.

Taako’s gay, and he’s my brothers favorite. Taako’s gay, and this was one of the first things my little brother told my mom when he told her he thinks he’s gay. he told her about a podcast with a gay wizard.

I don’t know the nuances of this story yet, and I don’t know how things will shake out down the line, but I know one thing: my little brother saw Taako as a way to help him work on figuring out who he was.

Taako’s gay, and my little brother found this fact and felt brave.

I can’t really articulate everything I’m feeling right now, but I know that representation is important, and I know that a wizard named Taako helped my little brother feel brave enough to start voicing who he is

Magnus, a man with no children and who sees Angus as tiny: [looking at toddler clothes] would these fit Angus? They say twelve to fourteen m-

Taako, an elf with a very bad grasp on human lifespans: he’s thirteen, he’s defs a toddler those are fine

Merle, who has children but they’re dwarves: these might be too big actually

Angus, a normal sized teenage human: uh,

Travis McElroy: genuinely connects with his teens and tries to build self-esteem and make friends

Justin McElroy: tries his hardest but doesn’t quite know how teens work, just kinda goofs around

Griffin McElroy: here is the clown box. give it your cell phone.

people talk a lot about getting the mcelroys on critical role and whether or not they’d break matt and honestly? I think matt would be fine. matt has been doing this for many years of many different players’ bullshit and he actively enjoys it when his players throw him a curveball. (also he has a serious advantage that Griffin doesn’t, to whit, he isn’t their shithead little brother and therefore it is unlikely to be as fun to make him Mad.) he can run with whatever they throw at him, it’ll be great.

no, what I think would be the biggest problem is Matt frantically scaling his encounter difficulty down mid-battle as he realizes that he made an extremely bold assumption about their grasp on the mechanics of Dungeons & Dragons.