Never Challenge a Physics Major
Context: So my group usually plays D&D 3.5, but we decided to give Pathfinder a try. Because we play on campus we take a 2 hour break in the middle of sessions because everyone but the GM and myself has class at that time.
Setting in the Campaign as everyone left for class: We had just fought 100 bandits to reclaim a castle, and we see 900 more on the horizon coming as reinforcements.
Both me and the GM chat casually for the next 15 minutes, as I’m looking through everyone’s spell lists and coming up with a plan for us, then I come across a level 1 3pp spell that enlarges weapons by 1 size category.
Me as a light-bulb goes off: Oooo! Hey GM how would this spell work in terms of the weapon’s mass?
GM: I’m going to say that once you let go of the weapon, it becomes as heavy as it should be at that size.
Me with a huge grin: Hey could I increase this medium steel spear into a ginormous one and drop it from super high up, effectively hitting the army with a kinetic missile?
GM: Hmm… Ok since you have a +5 Intellegence score I’ll let you do this, but only on one condition; you must do all the calculations yourself, and before everyone gets back.
Me: CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!
Que a hour an a half of calculations for everything (impact velocity, how high up could my character get in 30 minutes, aim, etc)
Me giddy af: DONE!
GM: Ok, roll aim.
Me: rolls a 20
GM mumbling with face in hands: What have I done…. Ok doc, give me the diagnosis….
Me: Proceeds to explain all the science
GM who’s just done with me atm: The short version please.
Me: Long story short, I dropped a 2 ton bomb off in the middle of their ranks, and everyone died do to the high amount of psi. (100 psi minimum)
GM after a long sigh: Roll to fucking loot…..
It was at this point everyone got back to find me laughing maniacally as I roll to loot the, now dead, army, and the GM, with his face in his hands, mumbling "why did I agree to this?“