the write life for you

Really Very Important Advice for Knitters

1. FAQ: What can you use instead of a yarn bowl? Literally anything. Cups. Bowls. Cookie jars. Your little sisters. The skulls of your enemies.

The floor. The floor makes a fantastic place to put yarn.

Unless it’s the floor of your balcony. Because then the yarn will inevitably fall through the slats and the neighbors get kind of peeved about falling yarn cakes and also, you will absolutely have to throw the rest of your knitting after and then go downstairs and fetch it. Or so I’m told. By other people. Who are not me.

2. Whoever told you DPNs are hard and circular needles are where it’s at is a lying liar who is lying with their pants on fire. DPNs are not hard. Stitches do not slip off. There are no funny gaps. You do not poke yourself all the time. Circular needles on the other hand, exist solely because the devil once had a slow day and thought, “How do you think I could ruin people’s lives in the subtlest way?”

3. No. You never have enough yarn.

4. FAQ: How many projects are too many projects to have going at once? This is a trick question. Do not answer. Demand a lawyer. Or more yarn. Or both. Actually, make sure there is always a lawyer in your knitting circle. As a precaution.

5. All lost needles will be in the sofa. Only people who are not you will be able to find them. With their butts. Call it free acupuntcure, laugh, and offer them enough alcohol to not notice when you apply sutures.

6. You sitll don’t have enough yarn. Your kids, on the other hand, don’t really need that much lunch money.. Or do they, the greedy little bastards?

7. You will never feel as in control of your goddamn mess of a life as when you make a gauge watch. It is a heady feeling, best experienced sparingly so try not to make one more than once a year.

8. People who say knitting involves math obviously don’t understand you at all and really, if you’d wanted that fucking vest to fit, you would have bought it in a goddamn store and not invested a hundred and twenty bucks, seventy-five work hours, a broken marriage and traumatized children in it, so shut the fuck up and admire it, you asshole!!! ADMIRE IT!

9. Maybe get that yarn bowl after all. And that yarn. They match! You’re practically obligated to buy it now. In fact, buy seven skeins. At least.

10. Look. Patterns are really just society’s way of stifling your creative and free spirit, okay? Burn them. Burn them all.

11. Just take the fucking yarn already! Who cares if you can’t afford it. It’s not like the cops will ever -

Just let it be said
You were all I wanted once.
You were like a song
Always stuck in my head.

Now when I think of us
It’s like thinking of an old friend.
There’s an immense distance,
But that chapter in my story is dead.

—  K.N.B.
I still wear your t-shirts to bed sometimes and although I have washed them a lot I can still smell you on them. What I am trying to say is I am in love with him now but I will always love you too.
—  m. a.

rlnerdgirl  asked:

"Are you fucking insane!?" Sterek

“Are you fucking insane?” Stiles screeches at Derek as he rounds his jeep.

“I wasn’t going to leave them,” Derek stands his ground on this.

“I mean clearly, I get that.” Stiles huffs and opens the back of the jeep so Derek and put the wolf cubs on the blankets there. “But, dude, at least call me first so I can have like something ready for what looks like an entire litter of wolf cubs.”

“Their mom was shot.” Derek answers by way of explanation.

“Alright so,” Stiles rubs his hand over his face. “I am going to need curly fries and a mocha milkshake if we are going to become experts in wild life rehebilitation in an evening.”

“Okay.” Derek answers with a small smile.

“And call Deaton while I drive. They are all getting check ups today!” Stiles calls out as he rounds the Jeep again to the driver’s side door. Derek climbs into the back so he can hold the wolf cubs in his lap as they drive. 

I’m gonna be real here I don’t know how I’m going to catch up on this reading BUT I REALLY WANT TO SO PLEASE. If I missed something that you tagged me in, please send me a message!

4

“why do you love lance so much?” why do you NOT?! look at him! this boy can light up any room he enters

bonus:

I miss you. I won’t admit that to your face, or over text, but right now my heart feels like it’s shattering over and over again and I just want you right now.
—  An excerpt from a book I’ll never write. (#60)
Why do I still care when it’s obvious that you don’t.
—  Day 185
You say I am the best you’ve ever had, but neither of us care to admit I am also the best you’ll never be able to keep. I am a furious, windstruck storm of a human being, with passion bordering on madness and romanticism bordering on obsession. My kisses are the only part of myself your lips can fathom, and your hands cannot even touch my body without your fingers staining from all the storms that rage within me.
You seem to love the type of women whose eyes are serene and bright as the summer days they spend with you, who are beautiful and competent in the ways the world is only to happy to accept. They love with lukewarm tenderness and just a hint of arrogance only a life of privilege can bring- they hurt you, perhaps, but never amaze you, and the height of their unpredictability will end in a drunk car ride home that tastes almost as common as the whiskey you drink to forget them. But forgotten they will soon become, and there are many, many, women who will share the shade of their eyes and the nature of their well contained laughs. They will take months from you, tears from you, and sobriety from you temporarily, but never anything deeper. You do not understand the ways, then, in which women like me love. I will take the speck of honey brown from your eyes, the warmth of your skin, and the movement of your hips and hold them closer than you pull me, for I do not know what it means to feel without completion. To love, to feel, to touch without giving all of myself is a foreign concept I have no desire to become acquainted with, and I am sorry, but the only compensation I accept is everything you cannot give in fear it will destroy you. I will love you with all I have to offer, all of my madness and wild hair and sweet laughter and crooked teeth, and while there could be paradise between us, I offer no promises about what we will take from each other. Does that frighten you? It should. The truth is I am as full of destruction as I am affection.
You crave the sensation of me on top of you, but you do not understand me. Do not be fooled by the kindness in my eyes or the softness of my skin- I am a multitude of miraculous tragedies dressed in art. And as much as I want to love you and spread the deepest parts of myself over you like the tides on a coastal shore, I know you cannot love me in the way I demand to be loved. You are too accustomed to the idea of affection with no lasting consequence, and so you cannot possibly have enough to give without leaving me at least partly empty. I am someone full of presence, and any absence you leave will leave me bare.
—  ap (7.17) I do not know what it means to love with mercy
You see, at first, I did regret you. I regretted ever giving you that satisfaction of having me so easily. I used to regret ever being so vulnerable for you. I would regret the memories we had created at 2PM as well as the ones at 4AM. Now, I’m just so thankful for you. You taught me that there is nothing wrong with showing a man just how crazy you are for him, it is not my fault you were incapable of loving me back. You taught me my worth. That I should not lose an ounce of sleep, crying over something that is completely out of my hands. You taught me how to love myself enough to let you go. Because of you, I know what I deserve now and I will never settle. You did that. I am forever grateful for you.
—  You were a life lesson. Thank you R.
I miss you, I don’t have a best friend anymore, sure I have close friends, but no one is there like we were for each other. I hope you miss me too.
—  give me a call
I don’t love you because I think you’re perfect, I’m not that naive. I know no one is perfect, but you’ve become perfection in my eyes because of how much my love for you has grown. It’s growing even still.
—  K.N.B.