the worst is coming

BAMF Lance headcanons

- Lance can box. Used to practice with his uncles all the time. Almost became a pro boxer but decided he wanted to go to Space instead.

- excelled in gymnastics but he didn’t want his family to think less of him. His brothers and cousins were all mechanics, baseball players and barbers. Amd his dad supported him but he let Lance know how worried he was about them treating him different. So he kept it private until he performed his aerial dance for the bi bo bis.

- is multilingual. Yeah there are still a few issues but he picks languages up fast. He just second guesses himself a lot. His first languages were Spanish and Gaelic but he eventually learned English, Russian, Japanese and Korean. He likes to pretend he doesn’t know what Shiro and Keith talk about until Keoth insults him and Lance responds back. His accent is thick but Keith’s expression is priceless.

“You know, keith, at least when I insult you I do it in a language I know you understand.”

He starts learning Altean from Coran and when Lotor arrives on board, Lance offers him kindness and even ropes him into teaching him Galran.

He’s not worried about being perfect at it but he needs to be able to defend himself at least

*sofia vergara voice* DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW SMART I AM IN SPANISH???!!!

-hes not the best with swords but somehow he’s able to wield a machete. Keith is…so confused. When he asks Lance to make his bayard into a blade, thats the form it takes.

“Huh, would you look at that? Looks like all that time hacking at sugar cane in abuelo’s fields paid off.”

And it did. He has a mean swing. And he’s fast and adaptable. It’s just his strength they need to build up or he needs to evade heavy blows And he needs to stop thinking so damn much.

- Lance is naturally good at measuring. He just needs people to trust him. His voltron kicks would work otherwise. He used to play pool a lot and uses the same techniques for shooting. It makes him wonder. He remembers watching Wanted as a kid. Can you really curve a bullet?

He decides to test it out on the training deck.

Yes. Yes he can.

Pidge doesn’t know how he does it. According to her calculations it shouldn’t be possible.

She doesn’t call him sharpshooter until she sees it with her own eyes.

-lance didn’t always have guns. He learned how to shoot when he was young. People tried to fuck with his grandpa’s farm all the time. So they were always ready for worse to come to worst if they had to defend their land. Sometimes all they had were bows and arrows they made since there were only five guns and 8 men.

He’s kidnapped once in his pajamas. No suit. No bayard. He’s alone on this planet of slaves. He causes an uprising, helps the rebels make weapons at least to help them until they can steal the blasters off the sentries and team voltron arrives to arrows flying. At the center is Lance who’s about as accurate as Hawkeye.

“Woah,” Hunk says.

-Shiro almost has a heart attack when Lance disappears underwater and doesn’t come back up. He tries to get to him and almost drowns himself because his metal arm throws him off. Turns out Shiro can’t swim withoit significant difficulty now. Lance pulls him out.

“What the fuck were you thinking?”

“You were drowning!”

“Shiro, I can hold my breath for ten minutes on a bad day! 15 on a good day. I’m basically a fish.”

“Oh.”

He can also dive fairly deep on his own. He gas to come back up before the water pressure gets to him, though.

sillyseal  asked:

I am a little depressed cuz of my friend :/He has almost asphyxiated with carbon monoxide(fault of fireplace). Two minutes more and he would die. If his sister wouldn't come back from a walk he would die. Worst of all is that doctors found out that his heart is faulty :/. Probably cuz of this fucking carbon monoxide. So he might leave our school and end his sport carrier immediately. We would loose friend and a good player. Hug me plis...

Oh my god Seal… I’m so sorry about your friend…

That is truly awful. I hope the doctors can at least help him with his recovery. It’s so sad if he’s unable to pursue his career in sports. Poor thing… send him all of my love and best wishes to him.

*hug*

Thor: Ragnarok review

Thor has had the worst track when it comes to the MCU. His first outing was an okay-at-best adventure that took place with a cast of boring, unfunny humans instead of on Asgard where cool shit happened. When you start out your trilogy with someone like Kenneth Branagh directing and even he can’t make it cool, you know you’re in trouble. Then we come to his appearance in The Avengers, where he does decent but still gets outshone quite a bit by the rest of the cast. Then we get to Thor: The Dark World, one of the worst superhero films ever made… the less said about it the better. Then comes Age of Ultron and Thor’s overall role is negligible, especially with his weird cave dream sequence which doesn’t amount to too much. All of this build’s Thor up as one of the least-interesting Avengers, which is a damn shame, because Chris Hemsworth plays the role with such charm and enthusiasm, it’s sad to see his efforts go to waste…

…And then comes Thor: Ragnarok, and it blows all that bullshit out of the water by doing a soft reboot to the whole Thor series. Sure, the bullshit before is still canon, but Thor got dumped by his human girlfriend so we don’t need to put up with those fucks anymore, the movie takes place mostly in the cosmos which were the best parts of the other Thor movies, and best of all we have a director who knows what we want to see and gives it to us with cheesy 80s and Jack Kirby aesthetic: Taika Waititi. More than anyone before him, he seems to really GET what makes Thor so cool in the first place, and what makes comic book movies cool in general. The other Thor movies are naught but a whimper to this film’s epic Led Zeppelin metal scream. But how? How did this film fix the fatal flaws of the films that came before?

First let’s give you a rundown of the story: It has been two years since Thor has left Earth. His girlfriend has dumped him, he has found no Infinity Stones, and as soon as he returns to Asgard he finds out Loki has hijacked the throne and hid his father, Odin, on Earth. And just when things don’t seem like they could get any worse, Odin dies and releases the wicked Hela, his firstborn child who was banished long ago for being an evil bitch. She makes it to Asgard and starts trying to dominate everything, while Thor and Loki end up on the planet of Sakaar… though Thor is stuck fighting in gladiator battles while Loki, who through temporal bullshit showed up a week earlier, has sucked up to the grandiose ruler known as the Grandmaster and landed himself in a cushy position. Soon enough Thor is up in the gladiator arena against his old pal, the Hulk, and from here Thor tries to figure out how he can get back to Asgard and whoop Hela’s ass. Can the mighty Thor manage this impossible feat, or is Ragnarok finally upon him?

Keep reading

Some of the most iconic quotes from Ragnarok

You’re lucky i have really good memory.

-”Now you might be wondering, why i, Thor the god of thunder ended up here” 

-”Hold on, let me just circle back around- i thought we were really connecting just then” 

-”BEHOLD- my stuff”

-”I named this one Des and this one Troy. Together they are destroy” 

-*upon seeing Loki’s statue* “what the-” 

-”Hello Father.” “Oh shit”

-”I present Thor, prince of-” “No no no, you had one job.” 

-”I swear i left him right here” “Right here on the sidewalk or in that nursing home that’s being demolished?

-”I don’t know, i’m not a witch” “No? Why do you dress like one then?” 

-”I can’t believe you’re alive, i saw you die, i mourned for you!” “Im honored?” 

-”I HAVE BEEN FALLING FOR THIRTY MINUTES” 

-”you think you’re some kind of sorcerer? Don’t you think for a second you second rate-” 

-”Kneel” “I beg your pardon?” 

-”she’s the, It starts with a b” “trash” 

-”I don’t see thunder, but i do see sparkles!” 

-”Oh do you know each other?” “I’ve never met this man in my life” 

-”He’s my brother!” “Adopted.” 

-”aw now he’s threatening me” 

-”DIRECT ME TO WHO’S ASS I HAVE TO KICK” 

-*being dragged away* “AGH LOKI”

-”It sounds like you had a very intimate relationship with your hammer, so much that losing it was comparable to losing a loved one” “that’s a nice way of putting it” 

-”YES! WE KNOW EACH OTHER, HE’S A FRIEND FROM WORK!” 

-”Oh and Loki, Loki’s alive! Loki, look who it is!” “I have to get off this planet” 

-”YES, THAT’S HOW IT FEELS!” “Sorry i’m just a fan of the sport” 

-”What’s the team called?” “the uh.. revengers” 

-”i want revenge, you want revenge, and you uh..” “I’m.. undecided” 

-”Surprise!” “OW!” 

-”MBLERG ITS ME” 

-”THE SUNS GETTING LOW THE SUNS GETTING LOW” “Would you stop that?!” -”You’ve been on other planets before!” “yeah! one!” “Well, now it’s two”

-”wait you’re just using me to get to the hulk. That’s gross” 

-”Just give me twelve hours” “i can do it in 2″ “…I can do it in one” 

-”Were going through there” “the devils anus?” 

-”We might as well be strangers now, two sons of the crown set adrift” “I thought you didn’t want to talk about it” “…Heres the thing” 

-”Loki, i thought the world of you, but lets face it, our paths diverged a long time ago”

-*holding back tears* “yeah, maybe it’s for the best if we never see each other again”  

-”Hey, lets do get help” “what?” “Get help” “No, that’s humiliating” 

-”Do you have any other ideas?” “No” “were doing it.” 

-”Help my brother’s dying, get help!” *Flings loki at enemies* “HELP HIM” 

-”It’s a luxury ship, like for orgies and stuff” “did she just say this ship was used for orgies” “yeah, don’t touch anything” 

-”I CAN’T FLY THIS THING” “USE ONE OF YOUR PHD’S YOU HAVE PLENTY” “YEAH BUT NONE OF THEM ARE FOR FLYING ALIEN SPACE SHIPS!” 

-”This looks like a gun” *fireworks and loud music erupt from spaceship* 

-”In return, i wish to be granted safe passage through the anus” 

-”You know i don’t like that word” “What? mainframe?” “What? why would you think-? Slaves!” “Oh sorry sir, prisoners with jobs” 

-”YOUR SAVIOR HAS ARRIVED!” 

-”But man, you’re really the worst” 

-”Who are you? Thor, god of hammers?” 

-”I saw you coming” “Of course you did” 

-”You’re late” 

-”Hit her with your thunder!” “I just hit her with the biggest thunder bolt in the history of thunder and it didn’t do anything!” 

-”HULK NO! CAN YOU FOR ONCE JUST NOT SMASH!” “BUT BIG MONSTER!’

-”Asgard is not a place, it’s a people” 

-”Oh Miek’s dead, i stomped on him and felt bad so i’ve kind of just been holding him all day”  

-”It suits you” “I might hug you if you were here” “I’m here” 

-”Do you think it’s a good idea to go back to earth?” “Of course, the people there love me!” “…Do you think its a good idea to bring ME back to earth?” 


Tsk. Just how are you planning to represent our liege if you can’t even dress yourself properly?”

Odin: it was a powerful spell. Your mother would have been proud of you.

Loki: that’s literally the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me, which is how we got here

Thor: you’ve lied and murdered a lot of people

Loki: haha yeah wild, anyway Dad tell us about the New Evil Sibling

Hela, clawing her way out of a prison dimension: what up I’ve killed millions and I’m fucking horny to do it again

Odin’s gold powder ghost: she’s the real worst child

Loki: I know this is a dire situation but honestly everything’s coming up Loki right now

Oh Lord Jesus, Thor and whatever God(s) willing to listen. My Hillary Clinton post is circulating again. Run. Save yourselves from the neo-nazis and the “I’m a feminist but” internalizers. I’ll try to hold them off.