Joyce, this is Hawkins, okay? You wanna know the worst thing that’s ever happened here in the four years I’ve been working here? Do you wanna know the worst thing? It was when an owl attacked Eleanor Gillespie’s head because it thought that her hair was a nest.
Guys, regarding one of my gifsets, I know that Sam tricked Toni – but that doesn’t mean that the accusing voices ringing inside of his head telling him to just end it didn’t affect him one bit. Whatever Toni injected inside of Sam made him start hallucinating his worst nightmares. And one of them happened to be Dean.
Because the least pleasant titles that he was ever being given was by his own brother. Freak and monster. The only person Sam will allow to breach his mind and break him emotionally is Dean, because he’s Sam’s weak spot and he’ll easily drink in the poisonous words of his big brother. In fear of losing him, Sam takes the blame and ultimately does think it’s his fault.
But in the last episode, Sam knew that Toni was watching him, and conquered his nightmares all at once like the strong dude he is. There is a reason for why he hallucinated Dean’s voice. Because Sam still does fully blame himself for all he’s been accused of doing and hearing Dean judging him and looking at him like he’s a monster is the last thing he wants.