the world used to be so shitty

kevystel  asked:

hello n-x-northwest and i would like to know if you have a writing playlist for constellations bc we need that in our lives

I don’t actually usually create specific playlists. I don’t really use music to set the mood when I write – generally, I use it to help me focus, and to block out the world. (I went through a phase where I listened exclusively to shoegaze music when writing which is in retrospect… not a sonically pleasant experience.)

But I thought about it today and I put together a playlist of the songs I was listening to whilst writing chapter 8. Some of them have special meaning to the fic and to plot developments, some of them are there because they were my Yuuri songs, and others because I like the way they sound.

So, uh, behold: my shitty taste in music.

Can we, like, talk about this?

Victor is quite obviously concerned about Yuuri’s well-being. He wants what’s best for him and wants Yuuri to succeed. 

However, it is likely that Victor has never been in this sort of situation before. 

Yuuri is “the figure skater with the world’s biggest glass heart.” He’s sensitive and wears his heart on his sleeve.


Victor does something pretty shitty.

I don’t think Victor quite handled this situation as well as he could have, but he did move it forward. He wants to forcefully motivate Yuuri, even if that meant breaking his heart.

This is when Victor realizes he fucked up.

He’s used to being selfish, so Victor probably hasn’t comforted anyone like this before.

And then we find out that Yuuri is more worried about Victor than he is about himself since his actions do have an impact on Victor’s reputation. (Oh, Yuuri… you selfless cinnamon roll…)

Yuuri obviously does have doubts.

And Victor does reaffirm that he doesn’t want to stop being Yuuri’s coach.

And Yuuri knows this. He logically knows this even if his nerves make him doubt this fact.

Continuing with the fact that Victor probably hasn’t ever had to comfort people in his life…

Victor feels like he has to rely on past experiences. I personally feel like this conclusion of Victor’s makes it seem as if he kind of wants to get through this uncomfortable situation. Kissing seems like the easiest thing to do, right?

But Yuuri refuses! Yuuri wants something more than a useless kiss. He wants Victor’s faith in him, even if Yuuri doesn’t have enough faith in himself. Yuuri wants Victor to have confidence in him.

This is very important. And Yuuri is demanding for Victor to stay by his side, come what may. 

what if Jack was a flirty drunk

seriously- what if. we know he used to party and didn’t mind hot blondes sitting on his lap, and now he doesn’t drink much and doesn’t really party. Yes yes trauma, overdose, substance abuse, etc, but imagine

jack knowing that one drink will make him smile more, two will make him zero on the nearest extrovert, three will get all the bad dad jokes and bad lines out of him and four and more? He gets tactile. Hand on arm, hugging, you can sit on my lap, tickling, smelling someone’s hair? 

(he did that to Shitty once, because Shitty uses wonderful smelling products on his flow, and Jack spent his first College Party snuggled with Shitty on the ugly couch smelling Shitty’s hair while Shitty, stoned out of his mind, explained the Bechdel test to Jack. The fact that Jack remembered the theory the next day cemented their friendship. But I disgress.)

So imagine an alternate world where Parse didn’t show up at epickegster (sorry boy, love you but you’re such a cockblocker), and Jack feels safe and ends up drinking, and Bitty slowly looses his mind because he was already attracted as fuck to Jack, but now he’s talking with his hands, retelling the atrocious jokes he heard from Bad Bob, and playing with the strings of Bittle’s hoodie? Bitty’s poor little southern gay heart is not equipped for this. 

Also, five drinks Jack? Dances to Beyoncé. 

I’m still auditioning for my family’s love. I still hold out this kind of thing, like they’ll be nicer if I play along, and I will lie. I won’t lie, there are days I go home to my family, Christmas dinners, and I will pay the price just because I’m hoping that people will be nice.

I’ll admit it. Guys, it’s tough, man. Most of us, you wrestle with your family your life, and the people who don’t, I think that’s like the most blessed resource in the world, because the rest of us are still caught in a dynamic which doesn’t leave much room for you to be very compassionate to yourself because you’re so busy trying to fit into a schemata where everybody has decided, “If I’m shitty to you I’ll live better.”

….so of course I’m a kid who is always looking for people that I can connect with profoundly. I’m willing to take the risk after you … You get kicked around enough, two things, you either withdraw totally, or you say well, “I could take another kick.” I was like, “I could take another kick.”


Junot Diaz in conversation with Hilton Als

ugh i’ve been thinking about “auditioning for your family’s love” a lot lately after the election, after realizing that my family may love me and vice versa but we will never reach an understanding on why activism matters, why speaking up matters, even if it makes you a target. it’s very sad to reach my hand out to measure the full distance between us.


i know that jacobs screwed us with s3 because the storylines were inaccurate and the show’s quality dropped a lot but i genuinely believe that he was going to fix all of it in s4 HAD HE BEEN GIVEN THE CHANCE and that’s why he made gm goodbye kinda focus on the bmw characters because he probably thought he would have a whole new season to fix gmw and now we’re just left with loose ends and a shitty series finale and i’m so sad about it

also really quick the villain in ghostbusters was a whiny dude who was like “i am a GENIUS and EVERYONE IS MEAN TO ME SO I NEED TO DESTROY THE WORLD” and the women are like “uh dude, same here and people are completely shitty to us too, if not shittier, and somehow we manage to not do that??” and if that doesn’t sum up a lot of violent shit that goes on in the world today then i don’t know what does

You guys should check out the band AJJ

They are a folk punk band that sings about a wide range of things. Frontman Sean Bonnette writes most of the songs, and the band sings about a lot of topics, including:

I’ve loved this band for years, and I want others to enjoy them just as much

I think it’s unfair to blame J.K. entirely for the shitty information we’re getting about the rest of the Wizarding World. I believe she tried to tell us, her fanbase, that she was done with Harry Potter, by writing the Casual Vacancy. I think the demands of us, begging for more information, more tidbits, more story, and the demands of her publisher and whoever else makes money every time she creates something new in the Harry Potter universe are wearing her out. I think she wants to be done, and we won’t let her. So she’s tired, and she doesn’t have the energy to contribute to creating more. While it’s okay to criticize what she’s creating and endorsing now, (Ilvermony, the Cursed Child), I think it’s important to take notice what we are demanding.  

  • Me before practicing: I really love classical music. So deep. So sophisticated. I really, really love it. Chopin and Liszt's works are so intricately planned out, as if God's own music. Have you heard Rachmaninoff? Man, I worship those composers. When I hear their music, I am reminded of the constant beauty of this world around us. All it takes is to listen and an open heart.
  • Me after practicing: Have I mentioned I love music? I really love practicing, too. It's like a bridge between the heavens and the earth, you know? The rush of practicing is like an adrenaline shot. I love music.

a-little-cas-in-a-blanket  asked:

Marine biology au!! (Kinda) Jack is the son of world renowned scuba diver Bob Zimmerman, who has the most recorded dive time &deepest dives ever. Jack started following in his footstep when an accident happened on a deep dive of his. Now he captains boats to take pple out scuba diving. Bitty used to be a free diver & did competitions, but now he's more interested in scuba diving, since you can stay down longer. Shitty does environmental law & likes hanging out on board (being naked in the) 1/??

2/?? (Being naked in the sea is chill, brah). shitty also dives a little so he can see what he’s protecting. Lardo doesn’t dive much, but she likes taking her inspiration from the sea & occasionally does sculptures out of the litter she finds while out on the boat. Ransom is a marine wildlife rehabilitator, & studies/cleans up coral reefs on the side w/ his best bro Holster, who monitors the coral reefs to see if they’re still healthy. Holster still likes referring to random as a coral reef in

3/?? As a coral reef in this au. Chowder is a shark biologist and he! loves! Sharks! (Both the hockey team and the animal, thinks both are misunderstood). Likes hanging out w/ lardo bc he can point out different species to her & give her pointers on what species to do pieces on to bring awareness to. (Also, in this au I hc farmer working in the same marine life rehab place as ransom). Dex is a lobster biologist!! Is v worried about them ok bc his family depends on them and they’re being over

4/?? And lobsters are being over fished!! Angry about the industry & helps does ship yard repairs on the side for that extra $$ (being a lobster scientist doesn’t pay very well ok). Nursey is a recreational hipster diver that uses jacks boats bc his old environmental studies buddy shitty recommended him. (Nursey was gonna become a oceanographer before he figured out he preferred writing about the ocean than reaaaally studying it. He writes books & dives so he can accurately describe underwater

5/?? Tango is someones (maybe dex’s? Chowders?) intern, and wants to know everything!! He just wants to learn ok. Whiskey works at jacks shipyard/dock/pier thing but hangs out with the douchey pple that own boats on the docks nearby. The Haus is jacks nicest diving boat. (John Johnson gave it to him as a gift/sold it to him @ a discounted price, saying something about how Jack would really come to love it). Ok I think I’m done!! Sorry that this is really long (also sorry if i forgot anyone <3

I accept this if it can have the aesthetics of The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou

The craziest, most complicated theory on how Throne of Glass and ACOTAR are linked:

Aelin manages to escape Maeve and has a MASSIVE battle with Erawan where everything gets destroyed, and even the continent gets broken up into smaller pieces. Aelin succeeds in sending Erawan back to his own shitty little realm, and has a family with Rowan.

Most of the population dies during that battle, and there are barely any humans or fae left. Because there are barely any living things left to be in control of, Mala, being a goddess, remakes the world using what we know as the Cauldron.  But as she does so, other powerful creatures slip into the world.
After making more Fae and Humans, she leaves them alone once and for all. Mala keeps the mountain Erawan was buried in as a memorial for everything that happened before, then leaves the world and seals all access so no other god can tamper with what she has created. The powerful creatures get trapped there.

Back in the Throne of glass series, Aelin had children with Rowan and their family survived. Because of what Elena did with Erawan earlier, every few thousand years there would still be another powerful Fire-Wielder like Aelin in her descendants, no matter how many different families bred into the bloodline.

Fast forward to Mor’s lifetime. We do not know of her powers yet in ACOMAF, and I think Mor and Rhys are the descendants of Rowaelin. I think Mor is one of the Fire-Wielder ‘incarnates’, while Rhys is not as affected by the powers, but because he was born in the same generation as Mor, he inherited Aelin’s almost limitless stash of power (and sassiness). 

At one point in ACOMAF, Feyre asks about Mor’s role in the Inner Circle. Rhys replies with something like “I will call on Mor when Azriel and Cassian are both dead on the battlefields”. That is some proof that Mor is a fire-wielder powerful enough to destroy battlefields. It was by pure luck that she inherited Aelin’s blonde hair (and possibly blue eyes). Amren is one of the powerful creatures that slipped into the world as Mala was remaking it.

So, that concludes todays episode of stupidly-unrealistic-but-there-is-a-chance-of-it-happening-smaller-than-Tamlin’s-dick Theories. Happy waiting for Tog 6 :)

Polish Queer women of the 19th and early 20th century - voices silenced (by themselves?)

I’ve been reading up on queer history in Poland and I have some thoughts about it that I want to share. Being a bisexual woman myself, I want to know what it used to be like for people like me and why is the current situation so shitty compared to Western Europe in particular?

First of all, homosexuality was decriminalised in Poland as early as 1932, which was not common in Europe and probably most of the world at the time. The fact that there were no penal consequences for homosexual behaviour perhaps sheds light on the legal situation of queer folk in Poland and social attitudes towards homosexuality. I mean, I suppose it worked along the lines of “I won’t go to jail for this so it’s kinda ok, it could be way worse”. But this only led, most probably, to social invisibility, even more jarring than now (now the LGBTQIAP+ community in Poland has a lot going on in terms of fight for civil rights! it’s still kinda shitty, though). No one knows what would have happened, had there not been a communist People’s Republic of Poland after 1945. Would there have emerged a gay liberation movement? The interwar period certainly had its flaws but it definitely wasn’t the police state that Poland became after WWII.

Anyways, I could probably go on and on about it but in such case I should back up my thoughts with some sources and more research, for which I don’t really have time.

However, I wanted to share something else as well. Lesbians in communist Poland were pretty invisible (see: Krzysztof Tomasik’s “GEJEREL: Mniejszości seksualne PRL-u” and chapter 7: “Czy istniały lesbijki?”, which translates into “Did lesbians exist?” - doesn’t that sum the whole thing up?) but homosexual (and probably also bisexual) women in the pre-war (both WWI and WWII) era were almost untraceable as they expertly blotted out any traces of their otherness which would have been subject to slander and libel at the time. I’ve been reading about Maria Konopnicka and Maria Rodziewiczówna and what I read about those two writers (Kopnicka lived in the second half of the 19th century, Rodziewiczówna was born in that time and is considered a writer of the interwar period) stands in stark contrast to what I’ve been taught at school.

You see, in Poland we seem to have a long tradition of making famous writers (artists, musicians, etc.) into bronze sculptures rather than remembering them as actual people. Chroniclers and biographers of the communist era would be partly to blame for inconsistencies and omissions in biographies as would be general social attitudes as well. However, those writers themselves made no attempt to chronicle their non-heteronormativity in any way (or at least nothing direct) as a method to avoid social stigma from their contemporaries. So apart from photographs and descriptions of them provided by third parties there is not much to go by and we can only speculate about alleged, unfortunately, lesbianism of such national icons as Konopnicka and Rodziewiczówna. 

Konopnicka was a very prolific writer and also celebrated by her contemporaries. Her poem “Rota” was a candidate for the national anthem after Poland became independent in 1918! This was huge! Rodziewiczówna was also a very prolific writer, probably her most well-known work nowadays is “The Summer of the Forest People”. She shared her life exclusively with women and she never married a man. This is what she looked like in 1911 (!):

And while Konopnicka dressed typically for her time (google her if you want), look at Maria Dulębianka, with whom Konopnicka shared most of her life (and with whom she was also buried in one grave for a short time!):

Not a very typical look for her time (2nd part of the 19th century). Dulębianka is also considered a precursor of feminism in Poland.

So, what I’m trying to say here is that these women were extremely good at hiding their true identities. I think this quote sums it up pretty well:

When asking about the relationship between Konopnicka and Dulębianka, it is to be considered whether homosexual women living in Polish territories were able to articulate their preferences and create a lesbian identity. Additionally, Konopnicka rather obsessively concealed or even misrepresented whole aspects of her life. Hiding her feelings and desires must have been her everyday reality, as she revealed: “Even to the people closest to me I write in such a way that a police officer could read this if he so desired.” Besides - even if Dulębianka and Konopnicka were not in an erotic relationship, what would this mean? It does not change the fact that it was a woman that the author of Imagina (one of Konopnicka’s books) chose as her life partner and it can be called a relationship if the people involved live and travel together. A relationship which lasted longer than the life Konopnicka shared with Jarosław, whom she officially married.

Polish original:

Pytając o relację Konopnickiej i Dulębianki, trzeba się zastanowić, czy w ogóle homoseksualne kobiety żyjące wówczas na polskich ziemiach były w stanie urefleksyjnić swoje preferencje i wytworzyć lesbijską tożsamość. Do tego u Konopnickiej można zauważyć raczej obsesyjne przemilczanie, a nawet zakłamywanie całych aspektów swojej egzystencji. Ukrywanie uczuć i pragnień musiało być jej dniem powszednim, skoro zwierzała się: “Ja nawet do najbliższych piszę tak, aby to mógł czytać p. żandarm, jeśli mu przyjdzie ochota”. Zresztą - nawet jeśli Dulębianki i Konopnickiej nie łączyła relacja erotyczna, to co miałoby z tego wynikać? Nie zmienia to faktu, że właśnie kobietę wybrała autorka Imaginy na towarzyszkę życia, a można chyba mówić o związku w przypadku osób, które razem mieszkają i podróżują. Związku, który trwał dłużej niż życie z oficjalnie poślubionym Jarosławem.

Tomasik, Krzysztof. 2014. Homobiografie. Wydawnictwo Krytyki Politycznej. ISBN 978-836-468-232-2.

So it is very sad that this is the only way we can attempt at uncovering the truth. It is incredibly tragic that these women erased their own identities, which means we can’t give them voice now and can only make guesses here and there. But I think that’s something at least. Anyway, I wanted to share these thoughts with you guys, this is by no means a scientific article or anything, just a bunch of thoughts put together.

“There are people in this world that you’ll come across. Most of them will come and go from your life.
And there are those rare people who come along and make a really big impact on your life.

They’re the ones who have so much love to give. They care so much about you, and they always go unnoticed by others. These people are the ones who always get the shitty end of the stick, the ones who are scared to be used and hurt again. They’re also very unappreciated, and often get taken for granted. They can have so much shit on their plate, and still find the strength within themselves to get through the day.

But let me tell you, these people are true blessings. They make life so much more enjoyable, and fun.
If you come across one of these people on your life journey, please do not let them go. They appreciate the fact that you’re also there for them in their time of need.”


she’s now my bestfriend


i never really make posts about ichigo which is a shame because i actually really like him as a character (negative character development/ending aside). when i started reading bleach i found it so refreshing that he didn’t exactly know what he wanted to do. in series like naruto/one piece the MC knows what he wants to become from the beginning of the series, while ichigo’s desire to become a shinigami only gets stronger as the manga progresses. and even though he did have some ridiculous power ups, his inner struggles (the rain, despair, his inner world) were so interesting to read about. i wish kubo would’ve focused more on that aspect of ichigo rather than introducing 50 villians all at once. imo ichigo was a good main character but unfortunately he had a shitty writer that couldn’t properly use his full potential…

Everything good in the update

The ass-tapping bro bump of approval from Lardo

Jack ‘droopy heart eyed at my southern love’ Zimmermann

Having straight, white, cis, Shitty B. Knight completely acknowledge where he went wrong and instead of making dumb excuses completely apologizes 

Jack Laurent Zimmermann telling the funniest joke in the world like this is the best i love him so much

At least one of the frogs <3 <3 <3

Justin ‘we die like men’ Oluransi

The Relatable Content™

And last but not least, the actual use of clear communication used in a lgbt+ couple and not having to watch them go through constant discourse thank you Ngozi <3 <3 <3

In Conclusion, I

happy spring c morning


Bitty wakes up to the sound of Shitty sprinting up the stairs, shouting his fool head off. Oh. Goodness. It’s nearly 11, and he’s slept in… at least it’s a weekend… but goodness, he’s groggy. He lies in bed, staring at the ceiling, trying to get used to the nearly-noon sunlight streaming in through his window like nobody’s business. So bright. So much of it.


mumblemumble “..what is…”

“Drink up, drink up, drink early and often, my man, today is a day to party! I’m goin out there–”

mumblemumble “…my chair…”

“–I gotta greet the world!”

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