the world in your eyes

I believe in an alternate world
Not so different from my own
One that isn’t quite out of reach
But I must reach for it alone

Many things would stay the same
A similar place with similar friends
But the biggest change affects the most
Are the means justified by the ends?


I don’t know where I’m better off
If I should accept my current place
Or see how the other could treat me
If I blindly took the leap of faith


We’re all living in alternate worlds
It all seems different through your eyes
What’s real is all just in our heads
And our surroundings are told to us as lies

—  Decisions that seem bigger than us (and a truth big enough to envelop us completely)
10

happy birthday to our dearest jungkook!
thank you for being you 

10

happy birthday to our sweet namjoon!
thank you for being our galaxy 

HEART OF GOLD

*sun is how you think, moon is how you feel, venus is how you love*

Aries The Velocity. When you’re with her, her heart pumps adrenaline straight into your veins. She is the arms you fall into when the rush becomes too much. You never knew someone with such a hard head could have a heart this soft. She’ll light you on fire until you get used to the burn, until her jarring touch is as soft as feathers. And she will help you up every time, you take her hand and it’s like being in a freefall but it’s okay because you’re not alone. What she want’s deep down is someone who can run wild with her. You lose her the moment you try to control her. Don’t. Just enjoy the ride, for it’s one of a kind.

Taurus The Mystic. She is the vivacity of the living, the one who defies gravity. Her heart floating around her body makes you believe in magic. The kind everyone wants to experience. She pops her gum and tells you to put your money where your mouth is. So you rip your chest open, the blood of your beating heart splattering onto her lips. She cradles you in her arms, your worship inducing a heartfelt laughter that echoes through the vertigo of your final moment. “You did good.” she whispers, and at last you are at peace.

Gemini The Dandelion, her soaring heart tied to a string. She’ll rock you ultra slowly until you feel you could fade away into nothing, and live forever amongst the clouds. She demands you show her everything you have to give, before she even much as gives you a smile. The quest for her heart is for only the brave. She doesn’t mind what people say, the one who she calls hers has to be unyielding. So she won’t feel so liquid all the time.

Cancer The Lighthouse. Her satin heart is safely kept, for the one who will finally be worthy. But for now she will dance, she will dance with every angel until she finds the one with the shy smile and the softest curls. At night she tells the Moon all her secrets, and now she has a secret that makes her bones shiver and her lips tremble. She loves you, I promise. Just ask the Moon.

Leo Her heart is a cup overflowing with all things lovely, filling the hearts of others as easily as she fills her own. The Fountain of Youth. Hope, lust, tenderness. You can’t help but look at her in awe and think, “I am. Because of you.” The fear you try so hard to ignore is because she doesn’t need to prove her worthiness to anyone, you’re worried that someday she won’t need you. But if she loves you, you don’t need to be afraid. She will be with you when the world ends.

Virgo The Goddess. Her heart is a forest, full of life and mystery. She brings my soul to harmony in return for the respect she rightfully deserves. She cares for her world with everything she has, believing in the pure radiance of the noble hearted. Many might mistake her benevolence for weakness. However when she finds a bad seed, let’s just say nature can be a cruel master. After all she is the source of life and will not be exploited by the greedy. But to those who love with an open heart she gifts the vitality of spirit, and the liberation of the metaphysical mind.

Libra Her slow heartbeat echoes as it pulses against your palm, right through your bloodstream. She licks her lips and sways her hips to the rhythm. The Delilah. You cross your heart and close your eyes. “Open.” she whispers, and the cosmos had swallowed the pool table and barflies of the roadside dive. All you hear is her soft giggle and ocean waves crashing in slow motion. “Welcome to Eden.” You look around you, and you notice your blood isn’t vibrating anymore. You ask her how she found this place. She gently shakes her head with a smile on her lips and says, “Darling, you’re inside of me.”

Scorpio The Red Winged Angel, always under my skin. The beat of your heart vibrating through my system and I’m afraid that if you touch me I will shatter to a million pieces. Late at night I dream of finding someone as sensuelle as you. Sometimes I wonder how many hearts you own, even though I can’t quit you. I don’t know what I am addicted to more, your touch or the fact that you could disintegrate the earth from underneath me if you wanted to.

Sagittarius The Honeymoon. The fast moving gal who likes them slow. If you want her heart take her for a night drive. Show her the world through your eyes. Make her feel something she’s never felt before. Free yourself from the malevolent, open your chest and breathe her in. Give her the part of you that makes you human, and she will turn you into something ethereal.  

Capricorn The Empress. Class and a pure heart, and the international woman of mystery. And even though games don’t interest her, that don’t mean she doesn’t know how to play. No one does it like her. It’s almost painful how she works you, heightening all your senses with perfect impulse control. Engage at your own risk, because she will make you miss her more than anyone you’ve ever met. But if you want to love her, she’ll hold you down for life in hazy love daydream.

Aquarius I’ve seen her in my fantasies. The Extraterrestrial. She’ll waltz right into your love sphere like she owns the place, utterly unignorable. And then she’ll smile, like she has no fucking idea. And you wonder if she really doesn’t. She goes around granting all your wishes and you wonder, why she gives you the world but won’t let you feel her heart. And she will never tell you, because feelings are hard for robot girls. She is afraid she’s too cold inside. What she doesn’t realize is she loves enough for the entire universe, she is too busy electrifying other dimensions into existence. One day she’ll come back down to earth and see everyone around her on their knees.

Pisces She is the light that shines through the night. The Clair de Lune. You fall into her plush essence and she lets you, like a bug stuck in her amber heart. And you think how every moment of your life has brought you closer to this, to her. You finally understand the beauty of minimalism. Not every star needs to be possessed. Not every silence has to be filled. The most important things are the ones you can’t see with your eyes. Live for this. For the feeling.

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Yeah, okay.

IT’S GETTING KINDA HOT IN HERE

*I wrote this with the sun and mars signs in mind*

Aries: It was a cool summer night. “You’re crazy.” I said as you pulled me towards an abandoned building. “Don’t be scared, I just wanna check it out.” We wandered through the decaying concrete, graffiti on every wall possible. I was so scared but I was trying hard not to lose my cool. After all you were absolutely loving this. There was a loud creak and I jumped, grabbing your arm. “Babe calm down, look at me.” You said soothingly, rubbing my shoulders. We made out there in the middle of the building; in the middle of the night. Your kisses enthralling, and for a moment I forgot about everything else. The creak came again but louder, “Okay, fuck this.” You laughed, grabbing my hand and we ran as fast as we could out of there and into the summer air.

Taurus: It was pitch black, our kisses growing more urgent as you fumbled around trying to undo my buttons. “I can’t see anything.” you chuckled. I sparked my lighter and you looked around for a candle, finding one and lighting it with my flame; never taking your eyes off me. You undid my pants quickly with a smirk on your face and threw them dramatically across the room. Your lips finding mine again, making up for the loss of contact. “You are so fucking hot” you whispered, running your hands down my body, a trace of goosebumps forming on my skin. You pushed in slowly, moaning as you felt my heat. You buried your face in my hair I lost all focus. I just held on for dear life as the candlelight flickered erratically on the ceiling.

Gemini: Your bedroom was covered with so many posters I couldn’t see what colour it was painted. You had not one, but two lava lamps, one purple and one orange. We were laying on your floor, listening to Frank Ocean on vinyl, “Sometimes I think about faking my own death, and leaving the parts I don’t like about myself behind.” you said somberly, drawing lazy circles on my stomach with your finger. “Where would you go?” I asked. You propped your head up, your adorable face flushed purple in the light from the lamp. “Anywhere but here,” you said pulling me even closer, “only as long as I could take you with me though.” I ran my finger across your bottom lip and you bit it, we giggled quietly, then sighed. You kissed me so deeply, like an ocean tide that ebbs and flows. We made love, slow love right there on your bedroom floor. Every now and then, when things are quiet, parts of that night come back in flashes when I close my eyes.

Cancer: Snow had been coming down like crazy all day and everybody was staying inside. We had made the heroic journey to the store to get the bare necessities. Popcorn, paprika Pringles and those fruity toffees. Now we were cuddled in an abundance of duvets and pillows watching Spirited Away. “Are you cold?” you asked softly. “No I’m actually really warm.” I said adjusting the pillows behind me. Your eyes shot around the room, you bit your lip as your gaze landed on me. “What?” I asked when I noticed you staring. You grinned, “I’m kinda cold.” I couldn’t help but laugh as I lifted my blanket and pulled you into my cocoon. Your hand slipped under my shirt as you got comfortable. “Oh my god, your hand is freezing.” I shrieked. “Warm me up then.” you teased as you kissed me gently.

Leo: “You are such a goddamn hypocrite, why are you being so possessive?” I yelled at you. “Because I fucking love you!” you screamed even louder. My eyes shot wide as the words left your mouth. I felt like I was about to faint. Like everything I’d known for the past two months had been wrong. I put my hand on my forehead and slowly sat down on the sofa. “Since when?” I asked warily. You sat down next to me, leaving a little space between us, not wanting to scare me away. “Since the day I met you.” you said more gently. I shook my head in confusion. All these months I’d been crushing on you, telling myself I was a fool for thinking you could ever feel the same. “Look, I should go.” you said standing up, I grabbed your arm quickly and pulled you to me. I kissed you with my eyes open, I didn’t believe it but my eyes couldn’t lie. You picked me up and put me in your lap. “We can’t do this.” I whispered into your neck. You grabbed me even tighter, not ready to let me go. “Tell me to stop,” you breathed kissing down my collarbone, your finger toying with the band of my panties, “just tell me to stop.” Your eyes searched mine for an answer. Your finger inching further, grazing down the lace in front. I moaned into your mouth, giving you the answer you needed. The one we both needed.

Virgo: My phone buzzed next to my laptop. It was almost midnight and my chemistry notes were making less sense than ever. “Hi baby.” I half sighed as I answered. “Where are you?” you asked. “On my bed, what’s up?” I could hear your breathing through the phone, “Nothing, just thinkin’ about you. ‘Bout us.” you said cheekily. I closed my eyes as that familiar lightness hit my stomach. “Oh really, what are we doing?” I teased. You half groaned on the other line, “Thinking about your skin, running my tongue up your spine, and swirling it around your-” Now I was the one who moaned. “Can you come pick me up?” I panted. You laughed, “Thought you’d never ask.”

Libra: It was my first birthday in the new city and I was feeling more homesick than ever. You knocked on my door and told me to get dressed while you poured two shots of tequila. You took me on an adventure, stumbling through a regal museum slightly tipsy. I was laughing at this modern piece, you asked why I didn’t get it, I said the shape was a bit funky. From behind you wrapped your arms around my waist, pressing yourself up against me, “I think it’s a quite stimulating.” you whispered with a sly grin, and my entire body shivered. Then you took me to dinner, your eyes staring into mine the whole time and I could hear my heart beating in my ears. It was like moving between worlds, reality changing from hour to hour. I don’t even remember what we talked about, only what I was feeling. We couldn’t even last until desert, our minds running away from us. As soon as I opened the door to my place your lips crashed onto mine, and for the first time that night I felt like I could breathe.

Scorpio: “Do you wanna wrestle?” I asked you with a wicked grin on my face. “I’m not gonna wrestle you.” You said not taking your eyes of the TV. I jumped on you and the Xbox controller went flying. “You asked for it.” You growled as you started fighting me back. I knew I had no chance, I just wanted to get you all fired up. Before I knew it I was on my back, hands pinned down above my head and your strong thighs straddling my torso. “Who’s the winner?” you demanded. “You’re the winner daddy.” I purred, reaching up and biting your lip. Your expression shifted, your eyes going from that watery blue to devilish dark in a split second, and I knew I was in for a ride.

Sagittarius: It was 3 a.m. I knew I had school in the morning but at this point I didn’t care. Cruising around the city in your parents BMW, the bass in the sound system making our blood vibrate. Like it hadn’t been already. We didn’t say anything, we couldn’t. We couldn’t afford to lose control. Then L$D by A$AP Rocky came on. My hands were shaking in my lap, your knuckles white from squeezing the steering wheel so hard. The engine purred as you drove faster, now with a purpose, pulling into the beach parking lot. The car came to an abrupt stop and I couldn’t take this any longer. You moved your seat back as I jumped over the console. You kissed me like you were drowning and I was air. All that tension finally snapping like firecrackers as the music pumped through our bodies. Your strong arms lifted me up and pushed my dress up my thighs, the windows fogging up. I could feel your biceps trembling under the palm of my hand, and thought how could something that felt so right be so wrong?

Capricorn: The whole day had had a weird, electrifying feel to it. Now I knew why. We were standing out there on the balcony, face to face in the middle of the crowd. “Kiss me.” you said nonchalantly. “You kiss me.” I incited. You took a long drag of the joint, gently pressing your lips to mine as you blew the smoke into my mouth. I just stared back at you, blowing the smoke out again calmly, your fingers still caressing the back of my neck. You almost smiled but stopped it midway by biting your lip. I grabbed your shirt and pulled you to me. I kissed you like it was the last time. You pulled back slightly to catch your breath, “Wanna get out of here?”

Aquarius: The night I first met you. I didn’t wanna go out but my friends convinced me. The bar was so packed but somehow I got to the front of the stage. There you were, and that cherry red guitar, in your own world. I remember I couldn’t take my eyes of your fingers when you played. I didn’t even notice you were looking at me until the song was over. You laughed and playfully tugged on your shirt. I didn’t get why but then I noticed we were both wearing the same Led Zeppelin shirt. When the show was over you found me so quickly I knew you had been watching me. “I feel like this was meant to be.” you said leaning up against the bar. I took you in, your knuckles had little cuts on them and your black jeans were splattered with green paint. “I’m not really in the mood to make friends tonight.” I said, taking a sip of my beer. You ran your hand teasingly through that dirty blonde DiCaprio hair, “How ‘bout we just stay strangers then?” I knew I’d already lost this fight. The next thing I remember is literally falling into your foyer, your lips on my neck as I moaned in your ear. You held me so tight, pulling my shirt up ever so slightly just to put your skin on mine. I pushed you down, taking my shirt all they way off while I straddled your hips, and you looked at me like I had just discovered fire. When it was all over you grabbed my face with both your hands, “What’s your name?” you breathed. I smirked as I put my clothes back on, “I thought we were gonna stay strangers.” I was halfway home when I realized that the shirt I was wearing wasn’t mine, it was yours.

Pisces: The record had finished all the way through. That needle scratch sound from the record player filled the silence in the room. I was in your arms, tangled in bedsheets and your sticky bodyparts. You grazing my back lightly with your fingers. “I need to pee.” I said trying untangle myself limb by limb. Your arms tightened around me, “No, you can’t go.” you pouted. I giggled and wiggled around in your embrace. “I have to pee, I’ll be quick.” You pressed your forehead against mine. “Promise?” you said softly. I pecked your lips three times. “I promise.”

Every minute I close my eyes and see that it’s all nonsense, all nonsense.
—  The Brothers Karamazov by Fyodor Dostoevsky
All I ever wanted was to connect. With the world, with others, with myself…but I withdrew. Don’t do it. Let me tell you: Withdrawing from the world is like fumbling around in the dark, searching for a light switch. It’s always the right time to step into the world, to reach out–even if t hurts your eyes. To stumble into the blinding daylight. I promise–Your eyes will adjust.