When you were asked about your plans for the future for the first time, you hadn’t even had your first day of school yet and there were dozens of szenarios in your head of how you’d spend your life.
It took a few years for your dreams to be shaped, until the vary shadows formed contours and you could answer with a small smile playing around your lips whenever someone asked you about that time which still felt so far ahead.
However, in middle school, you had to realize that life wouldn’t be as easy as you had thought before; that many of the things you had once dreamed of would never be possible but then, new ideas started to form in your head and when your friends told you about the subjects their older siblings were studying at university, you almost couldn’t wait to grow up and follow your dreams.
In high school, you had learned about your abilities and the topics you’re interested in, what you are good at and which issues you would rather avoid.
Now, when you were asked about your plans for the future, you could answer with several opportunities lying ahead of you and you’d talk about the cities where you would have liked to study. Graduating no longer seemed out of reach nor sight but still far enough away to not worry about details or feel the need to have your whole life planned out.
But then senior year comes around.
The first weeks, even months, still feel relatively normal, compared to high school, even though more and more people around you have a concrete idea of what they will do after they graduate.
But in the beginning, it’s still possible to laugh it all off, to shrug your shoulders and form an alliance of carelessness with those who feel as lost as you do when it comes to the future.
And you begin to remember all those dreams you once had, especially those who will never truly leave your mind and you cannot stop asking yourself whether it would actually be possible for you to follow them;
if maybe, just maybe, you are really free to achieve whatever you want.
Yet, it is still easy to forget about it all by focusing on the tasks ahead, the final exams and the preparations for the last educational events you’ll ever witness with these people who have been a part of your life for so long.
It’s not hard to simply surpress your worries and fears but then the end of this final year in school comes closer and closer until all the ‘last times’ are beginning.
The last time studying for an exam, the last presentation or the last movie you’ll watch bored to death while doodling on your paper.
But also the last free period spent outside in the sun with the people who mean the world to you, laughing until there are tears in your eyes and your ribs hurt, the last time being late to class because all of you rather stay in the car to finish singing this one song, the last time of ever laughing about a joke of that funny kid in your math class.
And then, suddenly, there is only one week left until you will all go separate ways, hoping that your paths will cross again someday and you cannot possibly understand that this part of your life, which seemed endless back when you were eight, will actually come to an end.
// and it is when you are standing on that hill behind the building, looking over the place where you spent almost your whole life, that you realize that it might just be true what people say; that good things have to come to an end to make room for even greater adventures j.d.m.
Here I am, lying in my one-place-and-a-half bed, in the very place where you used to throw yourself to snuggle in, and I miss you.
The intensity that permeated your look when it touched me, the softness of your hair, the tenderness of your cuddles, the warmth of your skin against mine, the comfort of your presence, I miss everything.
It is so unfair. You are the person who has approached the most closely the frail little organ that is my heart, and here we are again strangers. It is even worse than being strangers, if we had simply returned back to this stage, there would remain hope, the electrifying excitement of having the opportunity to know each other, to discover each other, to marvel at each other of what we were, the visceral excitement of bonding to a new soul.
We’re not even strangers anymore. Even our eyes are fleeing each other as we both die of wanting to make them cross again.
I miss you.
You had to realize that we did not want the same thing for this utopia to end. It was too good to be true, you were too beautiful to be mine.
And here we are, both of us wishing deeply to reach the contraries of our mutual desires.
You, to love me with a flame of love that you do not have, in order to keep by your side the soul mate you found in me.
Me, to be able to forget that it is this flame of love that I have for you which gnaws me, in order to be able to meet again your almond eyes without feeling my world collapsing, in order to have the strength to keep you by my side, to have the strength to love you with that profound friendship you have for me.
I miss you.
We are but the sad spectators of a morbid scene, where we can only look helplessly at our plans to empty their blood by liters. The hope was extinguished in my hands when I tried to hold it to you and you did not know how to grasp it.
Love has given way to disarray, happiness has given way to loneliness, romance has given way to nostalgia, your kisses on my cheeks have given way to the erratic furrows of my tears, and you, you have given way to a gaping hole in the middle of my most secular hopes.
I miss you.
I wish I could hug you again, I would like to have the naivety to believe that you loved me, I would like to have the carelessness not to fear the nature of your feelings. I wish I could no longer be afraid to eternally continue to seek for you through all the people I meet. I wish I could not be terrified that I will never find someone else like you, someone who would have the same laugh, the same look, the same dimples in the corner of the mouth, the same hair, the same Way to kiss, the same way to get angry, the same tastes for music. I wish I could feel able to love something else than what you are.
I wish I could no longer feel a piece of me collapse every time I remember that you are now part of the past and that there is no possible future with you.
I wish that the thought of you leaves me a different taste than the bitter one of the salted pearls that flow on my cheeks.
You’re in love with a legend;
A god who can kiss with a mouthful of stars.
And maybe it was lust, thrill, an addiction to danger and the idea of getting burned.
How it starts is unrecognizable. A whisper, a touch, then a storm.
It makes you open your eyes, grasp the world, and leaves you hungry.
Like you want more.
Like you always have.
And it will amaze you, how the story gets twisted.
How staring into the sun doesn’t leave you blind, and his touch is pleasantly warm.
You see the sea breathe in shuddering breaths and look to his lover lit by the sun’s rays,
And you’ll think this is the true story.
The true love.
Not between Icarus and the Sun, but between something of the sky and the depth of the sea.
how he couldn’t wait to press his salty kisses across his face // L.H.Z
@avengerstories - you truly are the best of the best when it comes to editing (and everything else too)
You’ve walked the length of this hallway more than a dozen times before. Hundreds, if you count the amount of times you’ve strolled through the hallway in your apartment, one that is a spitting image of the one you’re standing in now. Your familiarity with the small space should make the journey from where you’re standing to where you need to be easy.
Every time you’ve made this walk, it was never with the knowledge that what’s waiting for you at your final destination had the potential to change everything.
Summary: On a whim, Bucky declares you to be his girlfriend to his grandma and mother. They’re eager to meet you and he asks you to pretend to be with him for just one dinner with his family. But is that really all?
A/N: Thank you for coming on this journey with me! Here’s to the next series! <3
Bucky felt like a lab rat, being
observed and analyzed to the deepest parts of himself. Fidgeting, he glared at
Steve and Peggy. “What?”
“What?” scoffed Steve. “We should
be asking you that. What the hell is going on, Bucky? You don’t really look
like you care so much that your girlfriend is cheating on you.”
Bucky raised a finger and gave him
a cheeky smile. “Actually, I have fed you the incorrect information?”
“Fed us?” asked Peggy, voice filled
with indignation. “What are we, your pets?”
“I’m just sayin’! I haven’t been
completely honest with you.”
“Then what is the truth, Buck?
Because it’s all pretty confusing right about now, and your ‘girlfriend’ is not
exactly the best of persons at the moment,” said Steve, crossing his arms over
his chest. He looked every bit the part of a father and Bucky stopped himself
from teasing his cousin.
Will you always come home with me and tell me about your day? Tell me about the guy at work who talked too much, the stain you got on your shirt at lunch. Tell me about a funny thought you had when you were waking up and forgotten about. Tell me how crazy everyone is and we can laugh about it. Even if you get home late and I’m already asleep, just whisper in my ear one little thought you had today, ‘cause I love the way you look at the world. I’m so happy I get to be next to you and look at the world through your eyes
15 things I learned at 15:
1. Life isn’t all about grades and paying bills and getting old. You can’t wake up every morning and do the exact same thing and then say you’ve lived. Do the types of things you can tell stories about. Live a little.
2. The world can be a beautiful place if you look hard enough. Find those places. The world was made to be seen by your eyes.
3. Love is more than saying those three words. You have to mean them. You have to feel them.
4. Your feelings are valid. Always. Please don’t forget that.
5. We were given voices so that we could say how we feel and what we think. Don’t let your voice go to waste because you’re scared. Speak your mind; tell him you love him, tell her that she hurt you, tell your parents that your sad, tell them you’re so fucking happy that they exist in this world.
6. Losing someone who was important to you once doesn’t make what you had together invalid. No matter how thing ended, whether you faded out like a sunset or you burst into flames and it was over instantaneously, they made you happy at one point. Just remember them like that.
7. Flowers braided into your hair are beautiful and leather jackets and combat boots are beautiful and stilettos and lipstick are beautiful and beautiful is not defined by a number, or an image, it’s a feeling.
8. Sometimes all someone needs is to be held.
9. Your heart is a muscle. It will break and then it will become stronger than ever. Love will end you, but you will rise from your ashes and you will be okay.
10. Being alone and being lonely are not the same thing.
11. Hold onto the things and the people that make your heart race and your cheeks hurt from smiling so much. Make sure they know they matter.
12. You don’t have to be okay all of the time. Just know that pain is only temporary.
13. No one in this world knows you better than yourself. Don’t ever let someone try to tell you otherwise.
14. Feel. Feel everything. Every emotion that is thrown your way, welcome it with open arms, invite it into your home, drown in it. Let your emotions consume you, when you feel things like this, no matter how painful, you know you’re alive.
15. If Van Gogh can turn his pain into a collection of masterpieces and Shakespeare can turn the greatest tragedies into something beautiful then you can get up every morning and find a reason to stay.
15 things I learned at 15 // Happy Birthday To Me 05.01.17