the woman problem

i forgot that pearl took off these clothes before they reached the show, but anyways 

The violin scene at the end of The Final Problem is truly one of the most impactful moments (if not the most) in all of BBC Sherlock. I honestly am still speechless that Moftiss wrote something so profound. Eurus was beyond communication with the outside world after the events of this episode, back to the untouchable genius in her glass cage. But Sherlock. Sherlock, this incredible and kind man, who had lost so much to this woman, understood her and still reached out to help. He wasn’t encouraging her to play her own song, he was initiating a duet–so she wasn’t alone, even in her music. It was a conversation, it was understanding, it was connection. This man went beyond words, where others had failed and stopped trying, and showed her that she wasn’t alone. Sherlock has become- or perhaps he always was- one of the best men I’ve ever seen.

The Mad Woman in the Attic => The Mad Woman on the Island?

The concept of The Mad Woman in the Attic was a groundbreaking rug pull when Charlotte Brontë wrote Jane Eyre in 1847. Switching attic for island really does not count as a rug pull 170 years later. Locking up the mad, dangerous woman and pretend she doesn’t exist has been done too many times to count.

So, the ladies in Sherlock:
- Not your housekeeper but still brings tea every morning. Nice, that. No need to thank people who help you without your having to ask them. Like a mother, wouldn’t you say?
- Not your love interest but stays forever true anyway. Good, good. Angel/virgin, let’s keep her.
- The whore. Dangerous and exiting but you have to keep her at arms length so that she doesn’t distract you too much.
- Smart and complicated and not really a good person. Interesting! Let’s marry her. But no, that doesn’t quite feel right. Hm. Divorce is so messy. Oh, look! How nice! She just sacrificed herself and died for the boys. Great! Now we can pretend she wasn’t a real person but instead a tool for the man’s personal development.
- Recently born and motherless. Could really use a parent. Let’s give her to a nanny and ignore her.
- Cleverer than all the boys. Lock her up. She is too dangerous to even interact with any other human being. She might infect them with her cleverness and what greater villainy could there be?

Well, it feels nice to know where we stand, doesn’t it? Mother, virgin/angel, whore, wife, daughter or mad woman in the attic. Take your pick, stay in your box or die.

TMI?!

Seriously if you don’t like period talk (get the fuck over it) but if you don’t then just move on.

I REALLY wish pads were free. I started my period yesterday and I had plenty of pads for this cycle. I go to grab another today and they are gone. The culprit? My sister. She has a bad habit of using mine (because she never has money to get her own) and then when she finishes the pack never tells me. 

So here I am doubling liners because I don’t wear tampons to bed (toxic shock syndrome worries being why) and I also hate tampons which is a personal preference.

My problem is I’m not able to get to a supermarket because the nearest one to me is closed, I don’t drive and no one is home to ask to drive me to a supermarket that is open. 

So, they should be free so every woman who menstruates has an abundance of them and has them on hand when needed.

I kind of blame my sister (lol) but then again I blame whoever decided to make sure pads are fucking expensive to buy because not everyone can afford them.

Bullshit I tell you.

On being the fat girl at practice, part 2

It’s been 6 months since I started bjj, and still one of the most awkward experiences for me is going to the open mat.

Take today for example. I felt like I had to beg people to roll with me, and I’m not sure why it’s like that at this gym. Is it a normal thing at every place? Is it just me, taking everything too personally?

If there are people from my class at the open mat then it’s usually a good time. We are more comfortable with each other and, bonus, we are all white belts so we don’t feel like we are wasting someone else’s time.

But if that isn’t the case then it can be incredibly frustrating. There were a few times I tried to ask people to roll and they kind of side-eyed away to another person, or someone asked a group of us on the sidelines if anyone wanted to roll and I said yes, but he went to the next guy in line and asked him instead.

I can’t tell if it’s because I’m a woman, or its because I’m a white belt, or if it’s because I am fat. There was another white belt woman there who wasn’t having any difficultly with guys that wanted to roll, and she is thinner and pretty. It might just be my self esteem, but I feel like I would have more luck if I was prettier? Thinner?

I’ve talked about this with the other few women at the gym, and the other woman around my size feels the same way that I do, but the couple skinnier, prettier girls don’t seem to have that much of an issue with it.

I want to get better, and ever since I can remember my main life goal has been to lose weight. But I hate going to an open mat and having to try to hold back tears because I have to beg people to roll with me for one reason or another. It’s frustrating and makes me feel like this just isn’t the community for me.

I don’t know. I know I probably sound dramatic to most of you, and that’s okay. I just feel like I’m always trying to justify my worth to people, or avoiding people’s stares and rude comments due to my weight. And I usually gravitate to activities and sports that are women-only because I feel safer and more accepted for my size than in a group of men, so bjj is completely out of my comfort zone. And maybe I just am not strong enough to move outside of this comfort zone.

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The amazing thing is this: 90% of a woman’s emotional problems stem from feeling unloved.  So don’t stand back and analyze her, like a doctor diagnosing a patient, or like a therapist questioning a client.  Give her your love – the same love that is motivating your questioning – immediately and unmistakably.  Walk over to her, look deeply into her eyes, hold her and stroke her, tell her how much you love her, smile, hum her favorite song and dance with her, and chances are, her emotional problem will evaporate.  She may still have some situation to deal with, and you may be able to help her with that, but the emotional aspect will be converted to love.
—  David Deida, The Way of the Superior Man

The thing with CCs writing isn’t that there a just like two or three problematic things in her books because that really wouldn’t be a basis to hate the stuff. I’m pretty sure most books and movies, even with generally good presentation, have their problematic factors here and there. It’s human, sometimes we either don’t know better or simply didn’t think and as long as we are willing to learn how to do better that’s not a bad thing. The bad thing about her writing is the fact that there is such a big amount of problematic stuff that it’s impossible to even keep track of. Not to mention the shit she herself can be associated with. It’s not just about “oh, so he cheated, it happens in real life too” but about ALL of it piled together connected to how it’s handled.

Nobody hates on the books because of one or two things, that would be ridiculous. It’s about the big picture and the fact that there are constantly problematic actions displayed and that wouldn’t even be so bad if they were at least handled accordingly - if the books would point out that the things are bad and wrong, if they would make an effort to do better and let the characters develop into better versions of themselves. But they don’t learn from their mistakes, that aren’t even depicted as such, and they keep on doing shitty things.

The problem is that you could write a whole damn book or even book series listing the problematic thing surrounding CC and her work. THAT is why people react negatively because they have more than just one reason to and everyone defending CC with the argument of “well, it happens in real life too” clearly needs to get a reality check because if you don’t even get the problematic factors of a fictional world I don’t even want to know how you see the real world…