the woman felt for it

it’s been a whole four days and it’s time for a reread update!! finished the fires of heaven, maybe now that I’ve finished five books I’ll, you know, read something else

hahaha just kidding lords of chaos is one of my faves

anyway! thoughts:

  • I’M SO UPSET ABOUT MOIRAINE. like, I knew it was coming this time so all of the “saying goodbye without actually saying goodbye”, ouch
  • rand’s repeated fixation on his own death is a very emotional thing for me. I’m not saying “depressed protagonists” but that is absolutely what I’m saying
  • the end scene with rand stalking rahvin is still fantastic, I just really love the mental image of rand appearing in front of rahvin and rahvin running around going “oh shit oh shit oh shit” (and then getting his dilf face hella burned off by nynaeve)
  • I can’t remember how I felt about all the “how can more than one woman be with a dude” last time but this time around I’m definitely just like “ladies come on, polyamory this shit, you all love each other anyway” 
  • ah asmodean, we barely knew ye. I must say I feel bad for him this time around, like, his situation is pretty fucked. and also love his consistent Ironic Music Choices. 
  • man I really forgot how much rand gets beaten to hell and back in all of these books, but he really does. 
    • into it.
(N E W!) All For a Woman TEASER!

Remembering the way it felt when he was inside me is something I don’t let myself go back to very often. But now, I can’t help it. I let myself go back to that last time in the on-call room and the time before that in the supply closet and the time before that in the shower. The feeling is incomparable, but when I open my eyes to see Matthew’s face centimeters from my own, I realize that for the entire time we’ve been having sex, I was doing just that. I just came forgetting that I was having sex with my husband and pretending it was Jackson instead.

“You haven’t enjoyed yourself like that in a while,” he pants, planting an absentminded kiss on the corner of my mouth.

My cheeks flush red with guilt and shame. My shirt, pants and underwear are all off, but my bra is still on. Matthew always has a hard time with the clasp, and when he tried to get it off, I guess he couldn’t do it. I don’t remember the process of any of this happening, I was so lost in my thoughts. I know I can’t ever do that again. That wasn’t right, and it wasn’t fair to him. Or me.

“I… yeah,” I breathe, and throw my arms over my head as he continues to thrust inside me. I try to stay in the moment until he finishes, and snap back to reality enough to fake my second orgasm so we can be done. Sex is the last thing I want to be doing after I just let myself indulge on that age-old daydream.


What would life look like if Jackson hadn’t stood up at April’s wedding? He realizes he loves her - enough to let her go. But when April and Matthew move to Chicago, the place where Jackson has made his new life, everyone involved is hit with the fact at how shallowly the old feelings had been buried. April wants her old best friend back; but at what price? Soon the two will come to know that change can hurt, but it leads a path to something better. 


Look for ALL FOR A WOMAN coming to a computer screen near you very soon!! 

anonymous asked:

As a cis bi woman, I have been annoyed by the inconveniences of female biology & the sexism I've encountered. However, I've never once felt like I wasn't female. Being bi comes with its own brand of confusion, but I've never looked at a pretty woman & wished or felt I was male. My body may be imperfect but I've never felt it was wrong/not mine. My experience is different than yours, maybe comparing will help you sort out your nerves from your true gut feelings & live your truth. Good luck today!

This is reassuring actually, thanks💚 it is interesting how diverse experiences in our community are

2

“Their eyes met at the same instant, Therese glancing up from a box she was opening, and the woman just turning her head so she looked directly at Therese. She was tall and fair, her long figure graceful in the loose fur coat that she held open with a hand on her waist. Her eyes were gray, colorless, yet dominant as light or fire, and, caught by them, Therese could not look away. She heard the customer in front of her repeat a question, and Therese stood there, mute. The woman was looking at Therese, too, with a preoccupied expression, as if half her mind were on whatever is was she meant to buy here, and though there were a number of salesgirls between them, Therese felt sure the woman would come to her. Then Therese saw her walk slowly toward the counter, heard her heart stumble to catch up with the moment it had let pass, and felt her face grow hot as the woman came nearer and nearer.” 

Patricia Highsmith, Carol/The Price of Salt

When you see a hot girl for the first time and realise that you might not be as heterosexual as you first thought.

Day Forty-Seven

-A woman dropped a candle, scattering shattered glass across the floor. Without hesitation, she began to crush any shards she saw under her foot, smothering them into a dust. I do not know whether this was her method of cleaning, or if she was attempting to hide the evidence of her mistakes, but her determination warned me not to ask.

-An aggressively yet impressively steampunk family came through my lane and purchased the Oregon Trail board game, leaving me further puzzled about what time period they called home.

-The total for a woman’s purchase came out to exactly $33.33 and I felt like my life may have meaning again, until she had to ruin everything by “using her store card” to “save money like a financially responsible adult.”

-I handed a child his toy zebra after scanning it. This, to him, was an intense show of kindness, and he seemed to vow his life to me in this moment. From then until he was well into the parking lot, he did not take his eyes off of me, waving persistently and shouting his goodbyes. I appreciate the adoration. I hope to see him again soon. I hope he has developed object permanence by this point.

-A man came through my lane, furious at me for the fact that we were out of a Kenny Chesney CD. I am so sorry for this man, this white heterosexual Christian man, that he has to deal with such intense persecution today.

-A girl in her twenties witnessed me hand a child a sticker and was clearly struck with envy. When it came to be her turn, she wasted no time asking for one, just as I wasted no time handing her one, just as she wasted no time plastering it across her face, just as I wasted no time appointing her as my role model.

-I watched as a baby, screaming and crying in fury, did the only thing he possibly could, and began to aggressively lick his blanket up and down. I have said it before and I will say it again: Babies. Are. Incredible.

-A woman came through with, I believe, three prepubescent boys who would not stand still long enough to be properly counted. They bombarded me with questions which I attempted to answer in rapid fire. “Is your name really Tom?” No. “Then why is your name tag like that?” They gave it to me. Store policy. “So everyone has a random name assigned?” Yes. It promotes equality in the workplace. “Are you wearing a Christmas sweater?” Yes. “Okay.” It is possible that I sacrificed honesty for speed here. 

“I love Rouge she’s my fave”

“But her design is just awful, sexualization much?”

If anyone remembers George Lopez called black people roaches back in the day during his stand up. I don’t know why he’s so openly accepted in our community. And I still side eye his television show where he had a white girl play his daughter and a white Latina woman his wife. He’s probably colorist too. Other men of color are no different.

And that stand up event wasn’t just about him saying the comment about not bringing a black person home, it was also about how easy it was for him to call a black woman a bitch, which proves despite all the marching about women’s rights, people’s views haven’t changed towards women, and how people applauded him disrespecting a black woman. I feel if she was a woman of any other race people would have felt uncomfortable and thought he took it too far.

I have all the reasons in the world why that incident was not okay, and why he’s forever a disgrace in my eyes.

10

I love everything about her, and I’m not a guy who says that lightly, I’m a guy who has faked love his entire life, I’m a guy who thought love was just something idiots felt, but this woman has a hold on my heart that I could not break if I wanted to. And there have been times when I wanted to. It has been overwhelming and humbling, and even painful at times, but I could not stop loving her any more than I could stop breathing. I’m hopelessly, irretrievably in love with her.                                                                                                                                                                             M o r e  t h a n  s h e  k n o w s.