the wolf that was killed by a dragon

"I'm Bored!"

…and after the 50th time my little cousin said that at today’s family get-together, I went to the car and got the dice.  Three small children between the ages of 6 and 10 got to play (a very loose, impromptu, anything-goes version of) D&D for the first time ever.  I titled it, “Save the Princess.”

My niece played a wizard, while the bored cousin played a fighter, who gradually evolved into the equivalent of a rogue/eldritch knight, and the other cousin played a cleric. These are the ensuing things my young players said.

DM: You are all staying at an inn tonight.  It’s like a hotel.
Wizard: Is there a pool?!
DM: … why not.
Wizard: I’ll get my bathing suit!

DM: The man who was reading the book in the lobby last night comes up to you guys.
NPC-Druid: I’m going to get to the dragon first, turn into a bear, and kill him! 
Fighter: There’s going to be bear traps!
DM: Roll to persuade him there’s going to be traps.
NPC rolls a 3, and the Fighter rolls a 7.
DM: The guy with the book starts crying and goes back to his room.

DM: A pony is 20 dollars, a horse is 50 dollars, and an invisible horse is 70 dollars.
Wizard: Ooooo! Let’s buy a pony!
Cleric: YEAH!
Wizard: It’s white with polka dots, okay!
Cleric: YEAH!


Fighter: I want to put a bottomless hole under the wolf! (rolls too low).
DM: You put a hole next to the wolf.
Cleric: I want to put the wolf to sleep. (rolls high enough).
DM: Alright, he’s asleep now.
Wizard: I’m going to push the wolf into the bottomless hole. 


Wizard: I want to cast a spell to put bugs in his shirt… Is the dragon wearing a shirt?

The saddest part about the campaign was that the dragon didn’t get one hit off on the players.  The wizard, however: poisoned it, burned it, summoned a rock that fell on its head, summoned a swarm of insects that got in its scales and bit it a lot, and the fighter made it incapable of breathing fire.  This is how the dice fell, and this is how the dragon died.

The dragon and the wolf. A summary:

Kill the bastard who wants to be call king:

Originally posted by ivanv

Tyrion, bronn and pod reunited:

Originally posted by princesconsuela

The hound and Brienne about Arya:

Originally posted by wytmid

Dany arriving late:

Originally posted by mxsiclyrics

Jon saying Dany is his only queen:

Originally posted by luciagpx

jon fucking the plan:

Originally posted by toniepepperonie

The wight:

Originally posted by gorillarama

Euron: but can they swim?

Originally posted by penultimxte

Brienne and Jaime:

Originally posted by thebrooklyninenine

Tyrion: I don’t want to destroy my family 

Originally posted by annefrankisgod

Dany: I cannot have children

Originally posted by tiltonightdouspart

Cersei’s plan

Originally posted by trollitics

Cersei trying to kill Jaime:

Originally posted by hunilikafa

Dany going with Jon intead of following Jorah’s advice:

theon not dying because he doesn’t have a dick:

Originally posted by whatever-its-disney

Sansa:  How do you answer these charges…. Lord Baelish?

Originally posted by n-wordbelike

Stark siblings:

Originally posted by jennabean9

Littlefinger’s death:

Originally posted by vielibera

Bran: I am the three-eyed raven


Originally posted by n-wordbelike

Bran traveling to rhaegar and lyanna’s wedding:

Originally posted by sheexhalesvanillalace


Originally posted by kitsn0w

Meanwhile Tyrion:

Originally posted by yourreactiongifs

Berric and Tormund in the wall:

Originally posted by yourreactiongifs

The Night King:

Originally posted by malfoygasmic


Originally posted by leatherjacketrenegade67

>random guy in shit tier iron armor shows up one day saying a dragon is burning down a city.
>don’t know why the guards let him in.
>figure I can throw another body at my court wizard so I shuffle him over.
>Comes back with arrows sticking out of his body and holding the tablet out for my court wizard like its nothing.
>Hear reports someone killed literally every bandit, rat, wolf, and rabbit between here and the spot he was sent.
>I now need to get this pain immune lunatic murderer out of my city.
>Dragon shows up.
>Send the guy out on a suicide mission to kill a dragon.
>End of my worries.
>He comes back, apparently having killed the dragon and eaten its soul.
>According to reports just stood there and let the dragon burn him while chugging addictive and dangerous health potions he made himself.
>Now standing in front of me eating an entire bushel of apples, two loaves of bread, and an entire side of beef while everyone looks on in horror and disgust.
>Need to get him away from my children as fast as possible.
>Tell him he needs to climb the tallest mountain in Skyrim and stay with the Graybeards.
>He leaves without a word.
>Hopefully thats the last I’ll see of him…

It’s Become Apparent Recently That I Have a Type

Originally posted by rina-gunvor

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Originally posted by pedroismahname

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Originally posted by star-forest

Originally posted by sodacolouredskies

Originally posted by desu

Originally posted by tachibana-sylphynford

Had we met in another time

Originally posted by benjanriver

As different people…

Originally posted by aryaestarks

But here we stand on the edge of war

Originally posted by vantablackemo

Where nothing is certain

Originally posted by skhal8

Don’t be scared, my love, because

Originally posted by winterfellsrose

If we die, we die, but first

Originally posted by atimefordragons

We’ll live

Originally posted by kindon18

Let me stay by your side

Originally posted by bridget-malfoy-stilinski-hale

In this brief dream before the long night falls

Originally posted by cortexiphanolivia

I’ll kill the man who tries to wake me

Originally posted by jonerysthrones

Typical Movie Characters

ARIES, female: Attractiveness

Uma Thurman as Mia Wallace in Pulp Fiction

ARIES, male: Inadequacy

Jared Leto as The Joker in Suicide Squad

TAURUS, female: Consistency

Kate Winslet as Rose DeWitt in Titanic

TAURUS, male: Sadness

Jim Carrey as Joel Barish in Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

GEMINI, female: Indecisiveness

Chloe Grace Moretz as Carrie White in Carrie

GEMINI, male: Unpredictability

Johnny Depp as Jack Sparrow in Pirates of the Caribbean

CANCER, female: Love

Faye Dunaway as Bonnie Parker in Bonnie and Clyde

CANCER, male: Selflessness

Leonardo DiCaprio as Romeo Montague in Romeo + Juliet

LEO, female: Gorgeousness

Angelina Jolie as Chiara Manzoni in The Tourist

LEO, male: Madness

Jack Nicholson as Jack Torrance in Shining

VIRGO, female: Reticence

Rooney Mara as Lisbeth Salander in The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo

VIRGO, male: Originality

Keanu Reeves as Neo in The Matrix

LIBRA, female: Daring

Linda Hamilton as Sarah Connor in The Terminator

LIBRA, male: Obscurity

Daniel Craig as James Bond in James Bond Series

SCORPIO, female: Vengeance

Uma Thurman as Beatrix Kiddo in Kill Bill

SCORPIO, male: Insanity

Leonardo DiCaprio as Jordan Belfort in The Wolf of Wall Street

SAGITTARIUS, female: Strenght

Jennifer Lawrence as Katniss Everdeen in The Hunger Games

SAGITTARIUS, male: Independence

Harrison Ford as Indiana Jones in Indiana Jones

CAPRICORN, female: Gloom

Helena Bonham Carter as Marla Singer in Fight Club

CAPRICORN, male: Ambitions

Al Pacino as Michael Corleone in The Godfather

AQUARIUS, female: Creativity

Sharon Stone as Catherine Tramell in Basic Instinct

AQUARIUS, male: Psychopathy

Anthony Hopkins as Hannibal Lecter in The Silence of the Lambs

PISCES, female: Sentimentality

Audrey Tautou as Amelie Poulain in Amelie

PISCES, male: Strangeness

Tom Hanks as Forrest Gump in Forrest Gump


Dany’s thoughts:
‘He said WHAT?!’
‘I mean… not that I’m complaining…’
‘After all it was kinda hot.’
‘Oh, great. This murderous bitch is leaving.’
‘I’m gonna kill him. With hugs and kisses but still…’

The Signs And Their Mystical Pets

Aries: Panther with fur made of actual fire, eyes black as coal. Teeth drip with lava. Can swim through lava and walk through molten earth with no problems.

Taurus: A raven large enough to fly on, matte black feathers and cold, dull purple eyes. leaves a trail of smoke when it flies.

Gemini: A white tiger with dark black stripes. silver claws and teeth that can bite/cut through any material. A roar so powerful the earth shakes. A tail almost as long as it’s main body.

Cancer: An elk with antlers made of ice. Icicles sharp sharp enough to kill drip down from them. Eyes that reflect the ocean. Fur that is as cold as snow. When it walks on water it freezes the surface.

Leo: A lion actually made of earth. It’s fur is like grass, and it’s eyes reflect the sun itself. Wherever it goes, it spreads life. It’s mane sometimes sprouts wildflowers.

Virgo: A bear made of the night sky. It’s fur contains constellations and planets. It’s eyes are stars themselves. It is a peaceful, loving creature-until one of it’s loved ones are hurt. If that occurs, they have claws sharp enough to rip through rock.

Libra: A giant bird with transparent feathers that reflect it’s environment. Eyes that glow red. when it lands, it levels out the ground beneath it.

Scorpio: A lioness made of shadow. It lurks in caves, afraid to be seen. Poison runs through it’s veins, deadly enough to kill by contact. large canines, and claws.

Sagittarius: A wolf that can outrun the wind. pure white fur and deep, sea blue eyes. Long, jet black claws and teeth. Spends most of it’s life fleeing, not fighting.

Capricorn: A creature with no defined shape nor species. Constantly turns from one to the next. They are identified with a scar, an X across their chest, that they contain in every form. iridescent fur/scales/skin.

Aquarius: A large, dragon-like lizard with matte black scales. Eats rocks, and breathes out fire and smoke. Spits up lava over it’s enemies. Creates deserts.

Pisces: A large ice dragon with scales comprised of sea ice, to resemble icicles, scales are almost clearer than glass. Lives in arctic waters. Breathes super-cold breath to create more ice. It’s wings glisten in the sky due to the little pieces of snow, it can be blinding. Very loyal to its master.

Brienne and Jaime in the Season 7 Finale

Brienne: Reminding Jaime that what is right isn’t always what is “honorable” by other people’s definitions (something she started learning from him!)

Originally posted by drogonstone

Jaime: Echoing Brienne by sticking to his oaths, even if it nearly got him killed 

Originally posted by kvngslayer


Originally posted by actuallygimli


Originally posted by stormborn

Sansa x Young!Reader / Daenerys x Young!Reader

“You must leave here, there is a ship going across the red sea.” Sansa hissed as you both hurried through the castle.

“But why can’t I stay here with you?” You complained as she tugged you too quickly and your legs tangled in your dress.

“Because if you stay you will be stuck here forever like me, I am no longer marrying the king which means you aren’t safe… you may be a very far removed Stark cousin but you are still a Stark and if we all go you would have claim to Winterfell.” She explained hurrying you out of the docks and to a ship.

Keep reading

Jon Snow, basically:

I can kill you and I will if you touch Sansa”  to LF.

I refuse to talk (or to hear) about your marriage with Sansa” to Tyrion

I could kill you right now but I’ won’t, only because of Sansa”  to Theon

B*tch, that isn’t a protective brother, that’s an alpha Stark showing his dominance over every other male who could possibly want his lady.