the witch the lion and the wardrobe

The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe: A Summary
  • Lucy: there's a magical world inside of this closet
  • Edmund: don't believe her
  • Peter: I don't believe you
  • Aslan: believe her
  • Susan: Jesus Christ, a talking lion
  • Aslan: you are correct in multiple ways
narnia preference: dating them would involve...

dating edmund would involve…

  • you being the one to break his shell
  • being the one person he shows vulnerability around
  • holding hands under the table
  • the cUTEST PECKS ON YOUR NOSE
  • finding millions of ways to turn him on
  • holding doors open for you even when you’re 25 feet away
  • NECK KISSES
  • low-key (actually high-key) super kinky
  • threading his fingers through your hair when you’re sleeping
  • him thinking that you’re super hot when you guys are arguing but turns red at the thought and becomes an awkward, stumbling mess
  • passing cute notes in class
  • being lucy’s best friend
  • him watching you and lucy play
  • and unconsciously his mind is always thinking about you
  • because he just loves you so much

dating peter would involve…

  • lots of picking you up and spinning you around
  • mama pevensie loving you so much, she thinks of you as already being married to peter
  • BAKING COOKIES TOGETHER
  • anD YOU GETTING FLOUR ALL OVER HIS FACE
  • leading to heated make out sessions on the kitchen countertop
  • him being such a gentlemen
  • always having his one hand on your back or around your waist
  • sO SWEET IN BED
  • like he would stop and make sure you were okay
  • edmund accidentally walking in on you two
  • always finding him staring at you
  • staying home whenever you fall ill
  • being tight knit with susan
  • “because if you think about it logically – “
  • “you’re spending too much time with susan.”
  • JUST THE MOST AMAZING AND SWEETEST POWER COUPLE EVER

dating caspian would involve…

  • lots of hugs from behind
  • lots of forehead kisses
  • him letting you run your hands through his incredibly smooth hair
  • him purposefully trying to get you mad because he thinks it’s the cutest thing
  • the mosT PASSIONATE SEX EVER
  • you being better than him wielding a sword
  • so you end up teaching him
  • his scruff tickling you
  • being close friends with reepicheep
  • going on picnics
  • okay, but the way you guys sleEP IS ADORABLE
  • YOUR FACE BURIED IN HIS NECK AND HIS HEAD RESTING ON TOP OF YOURS
  • HIS SOFT SNORES ARE WHAT LULLS YOU TO SLEEP
  • him waking up before you just so he could admire you sleeping
  • cause damn
  • how did he get so lucky

I always kind of laugh when people get into the “Susan’s treatment is proof that C.S. Lewis was a misogynist” thing, because:

Polly and Digory. Peter and Susan. Edmund and Lucy. Eustace and Jill. 

Out of the eight “Friends of Narnia” who enter from our world, the male-to-female character ratio is exactly 1/1. Not one of these female characters serves as a love interest at any time. 

The Horse and His Boy, the only book set entirely in Narnia, maintains this ratio with Shasta and Aravis, who, we are told in a postscript, eventually marry. Yet even here, the story itself is concerned only with the friendship between them. Lewis focuses on Aravis’ value as a brave friend and a worthy ally rather than as a potential girlfriend–and ultimately, we realize that it’s these qualities that make her a good companion for Shasta. They are worthy of each other, equals. 

In the 1950s, there was no particularly loud cry for female representation in children’s literature. As far as pure plot goes, there’s no pressing need for all these girls. A little boy could have opened the wardrobe (and in the fragmentary initial draft, did). Given that we already know Eustace well by The Silver Chair, it would not seem strictly necessary for a patently ordinary schoolgirl to follow him on his return trip to Narnia, yet follow she does–and her role in the story is pivotal. Why does the humble cab-driver whom Aslan crowns the first King of Narnia immediately ask for his equally humble wife, who is promptly spirited over, her hands full of washing, and crowned queen by his side? Well, because nothing could be more natural than to have her there. 

None of these women are here to fill a quota. They’re here because Lewis wanted them there. 

Show me the contemporary fantasy series with this level of equality. It doesn’t exist. 

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“Once a king or queen of Narnia, always a king or queen of Narnia. May your wisdom grace us until the stars rain down from the heavens.” ― C.S. Lewis, The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe

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men are haunted by the vastness of eternity. and so we ask ourselves -