the wine is not people

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This is my third time to Joshua Tree this year and I’m STILL madly in love. It certainly helps when you’re surrounded by rad people who love wine and coffee just as much as you… 💛 (at Joshua Tree National Park)

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hey kids if ur parents r gross n transphobic n homophobic then guess what aphrodite (goddess of wlw) is ur mother and eros (god of mlm) is ur brother and dionysus (god of trans people) is ur cool wine uncle

“Fy faen, I’m gonna miss you.” Isak said between smooches to Even’s face. They were laying in their bed, snuggled close and limbs tangled. 

So, tomorrow is the first day back to school after the summer break. This marked the end of the last few weeks that both of them spent mostly together, apart from the occasional meeting of friends alone or work shift. They got used to having each other around almost the whole day. 

“You’re having a free period at noon, right?” Even asked and nuzzled their noses together. Isak nodded (mostly to bump their noses further). 

“Yeah, Jonas and I wanted to go to KB for that and visit you.” Even’s face brightened. 

“Yeah?” Three hard pecks to Isak’s lips.

“Hmhmm.” Isak carded his hand through Even’s hair and then locked his arms around his neck and threw a leg over Even’s hip.

“I’m gonna miss you, too, baby monkey.” Even pulled him impossibly closer as Isak playfully bit at his jaw. “But, I can’t wait to meet my hot third-year boyfriend for lunch tomorrow.” 

“Hmm, if that gets you going, just wait until I get the red overall thing at the end of the year.” Isak’s grin was paired with a flirty eyebrow raise and Even mock-gasped before closing the remaining (none at all) distance between them. 

(Since Vilde infected Mags with the russ enthusiasm, there was the lose plan to form a russ together. Even if they just wanted to get a rental that matched the Los Losers van and not spend any real money for it, because effort). 

They made out some more after that. Because they are sappy and gonna miss the shit out of each other. Even though they will see each other in the morning. And at lunch. And right after school. But they have to get used to it again, ok? 

  • Let them be a bit clingy for the week. 
  • Let Isak wrap legs and arms around Even. 
  • Let Even say “my baby monkey” four times as often as usual. 
  • Let them pout and tell each other “I love you” in a dramatic voice as if this was the end. 
  • Let Even make Isak his favourite breakfast (pancakes, go home with your waffles, Mahdi). 
  • Let them walk hand in hand together to Isak’s tram stop. 
  • And let them part with a kiss that makes it look like one of them is going off to war. 

(And when I say “let them”, I’m speaking directly to Jonas, who is rolling his eyes at this so often he almost gets a head ache)

anonymous asked:

what would happen if SOMEbody stuck their head in Ding's ribcage? >w>

WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS ANON

DO YOU GO STICKING YOUR HEAD IN OTHER PEOPLE’S ORIFICES ON A NORMAL DAY

HIS RIBCAGE IS NOT AN OBSERVATION WINDOW

just saw a gay wine commercial

i know that companies usually don’t actually care about gay people and they’re just using diversity in their commercials specifically to appeal to people like us so we’ll buy their products BUT exploitation aside, let the gay commercials keep coming!

keep forcing straight people to see gay people and keep normalizing gayness! i want every product in the world to have a gay commercial if it means straight people are forced to accept a new normal!

anonymous asked:

Can you do pretty pretty please RFA and MC the floor is lava game? Like, MC would out of nowhere be saying the floor is lava and the guys would have to find something to jump on so the lava wont get them

Hell yeah I can

Edit: V and Saeran added

“The Floor is Lava, RFA!”

Yoosung Kim

  • This game reminded him so much of his childhood and he was ecstatic when you brought it up
  • The poor boy is a disaster.
  • He is falling in fountains, out of trees, knocking over stands, it’s… bad.
  • But the smile on his face when he plays is worth it and you guys are having way too much fun to ever quit anyways
  • He is usually the one who is frantically running around since you get more of a reaction.
  • Yoosungs is always shocked and completely off guard.
  • He doesn’t give his athletic skill enough credit. He is fast
  • Which could also explain why he is always crashing and falling
  • One day you were walking with him in the halls of his college.
  • You just stopped by to pick him up and maybe get lunch after. Innocent, right?
  • “Yoosung, the floor is-”
  • “Wait- Hold on-”
  • “Lava!”
  • Yoosung panicked since there was like no where to go since the halls were all empty and clean
  • So he leaped and grabbed a hold of the exit sign and it broke
  • You guys don’t talk about it.

Zen

  • “Hyun the floor is lava.”
  • “You are so cute. It’s just warm because the sun is finally out!”
  • Zen has seen a couple of videos about it on social media but he didn’t really think too much of it. He thought the trend was dead.
  • But after telling him a couple of times, he finally realizes that you actually want to play and he is excited.
  • Out of everyone in the RFA, he is ranked 2nd on the extra scale
  • He wants to show off to you and impress you with how fast he gets onto things.
  • Constantly wanting to beat his previous time
  • So he kinda forgets the innocence and fun of the game but at least doesn’t go anywhere illegal
  • Zen likes making you jump around instead since you find the most creative spots
  • He sometimes panics because he doesn’t want you to accidentally get hurt so he avoids playing it in busy public places if possible
  • You got stuck on top of his fridge once and he couldn’t help you because he was too busy laughing
  • It’s payback for the time you laughed when his hair got caught on some tree branches. It was so tangled he thought he would have to cut it off.
  • Luckily that wasn’t the case

Jaehee Kang

  • Have you seen a grown woman in a pencil skirt and 6in heels climb a tree to impress her sweetheart? Now you have.
  • You would think she would be all flustered and embarrassed but no.
  • She is so competitive and badass no one wants to stop her
  • After working for Jumin, she has gone through many stressful / humiliating moments and learned to just be professional and confident in anything
  • The only rule is you can’t play at the coffee shop. Other than that it’s free game.
  • Jaehee just gets such a thrill trying to find something to climb something under 5 seconds.
  • She feels like a child and she loves it.
  • If she has to climb to the top of that playground with 2 seconds remaining she will.
  • When you guys go to shopping to restock or decorate the coffee shop, that’s when it gets rough.
  • She doesn’t aim to get kicked out, but if she so happens to climb on the aisle, it gets a little risky.
  • You guys have only been escorted out in one store because you accidentally knocked everything off it’s shelf.
  • Jaehee still giggles about it to this day.

Jumin Han

  • Oh dear God.
  • Everyone knows that Jumin would do literally anything for you and if swallowing his pride to play this jungle gym game every time you leave the house then so be it.
  • “Jumin! The floor is lava~!”
  • Straight face, red cheeks,  he is pushing people, and boy he is on top of that table in 5 seconds flat.
  • He holds enough power and confidence where people do not question him. That doesn’t stop all the pictures taking though.
  • Save him.
  • Jumin mostly likes it when you are the one that’s forced to run around. You look so cute with your shocked face and panicked moving.
  • This game is so fun for him. Jumin loves it because he is connecting to that inner child that never got to play ridiculous games.
  • Once he’s got the hang of it though, he is kinda brutal.
  • One time you two went to a classic party at the workplace and it was all going well until your phone alerted you with a text.
  • “I would get off the tile if I were you. It’s made out of lava.”
  • He had such a big smirk on his face when you started running towards one of the tables full of wine and champagne.
  • Sure, it was a big commotion and shocked a lot of people seeing you knock over all the drinks as you stood on the table but Jumin was silently giddy.
  • He’s proud.

Saeyoung Choi ( 707 )

  • “The floor is Lava game? This isn’t a fucking a game.” - From the man that can’t get down from a flagpole
  • Seven doesn’t play around. He goes all out and over the top.
  • You are pretty sure some of the things he does is bending the laws a little… but all is fair when the ground is lava,
  • Playing with Seven is fun for the first couple of times but then it gets a little too intense.
  • He counts in a different language each time so you don’t truly know how long you have to find higher ground.
  • You bet your ass he uses the skills from the agency.
  • “This was the true purpose of all those wall climbs, ___!”
  • Seven’s sadist side shows during these times. You could be in the most inappropriate times and he would just lean down and whisper in your ear
  • “The floor is lava, _____~.”
  • Every time you guys play he is recording you. For the internet? Just the RFA? Blackmail? Who knows.
  • He won’t let you live out the time when you guys were stuck in an elevator with Jumin and he gave you only five seconds to think of a way to get off the ground.
  • You climbed onto Jumin.
  • Save Jumin pt. 2

Saeran Choi

  • What the fuck are you doing???
  • Why are you and Saeyoung climbing onto everything??
  • He doesn’t get it and he doesn’t want to play. He is too embarrassed.
  • One time Saeran went along with it when you announced the floor is lava and he thought it would be creative if he climbed the fence
  • His foot got caught on one of the holes and he fell right back down onto the sidewalk
  • He w i l l ne v er p l a y  ag a in
  • Saeran likes to watch vines and videos of people doing it though.
  • Then they could look like an idiot and he could laugh at them instead of the other way around.
  • You look too cute when you do it though and he will tell you the floor is lava util the game becomes dead to you 
  • No joke, he might be more brutal than everyone in the RFA
  • When you just wake up with a bowl is cereal? 
  • “Hey ___…” 
  • Right after sex? 
  • “..The floor is ..”
  • At a friend’s wedding? 
  • Right before checkout? 
  • At a funeral?
  • “SAERAN CHOI!”

Jihyun Kim ( V )

  • He tries he really really does
  • Because he loves you so and you are having so much fun doing it with your friends
  • But V is like that dad that is trying too hard to fit in with his teenager, y’know?
  • He can’t go over the top or else he would accidentally hurt himself but he is all laughing and having fun so you don’t really wanna tell him to stop.
  • When V accidentally hits someone while running he will apologize and forget all about the game
  • “Haha ____! I made it right?” He says, standing on top of a low bench
  • V gets worried if you go somewhere too high and he would suggest taking it down a few notches 
  • “I was just on a tree branch, V-”
  • You guys definitely do not play to the point where you would get kicked out of places or get in trouble.
  • It’s more sweet and innocent compared to how others play 
  • You guys are giggling and jumping around 
  • He is too sweet

anonymous asked:

Idk y but I want an MC that always gets id'd whenever her and her s/o goes to a bar since she looks so young, but in reality shes like 18-21, cause I feel like alot of people can connect this, specially ppl w/ ASIAN GENESSSSSS (LIKE USSSSSSSSS)

I LOVE WHEN I GET CARDED- IT MAKES ME FEEL YOUNG TT__TT 

Yoosung:
*trying to get into a club with MC*
Bouncer: I’m sorry these are so obviously fake
Yoosung: N-No sir, that’s definitely me…
Bouncer: This doesn’t even look like you- look your hair is all brown and dorky in this picture…
Yoosung: Please! I dyed my hair and besides- look at my girlfriend’s ID! She looks completely different in it too-
Bouncer: You’re right. She looks even younger in real life than in this photo- and she looks like she’s 12 on here… she also appears to have eyes… 
MC: HEY! I LOOK AT LEAST 14 BUDDY!… wait, what was that about my eyes?! 

Zen: 
*reading a magazine article about himself*
… the popular actor waves off to the side where his manager and ‘girlfriend’ is waiting patiently. At first we thought it was a joke, our Zen, getting himself a girlfriend when he’s been so loyal to us fans…and after seeing the teenager passing off as an adult to try to fool us- we remain wholly unconvinced of his relationship status… 
Zen: MC! THAT”S IT! YOU HAVE TO START WEARING MAKEUP OR SOMETHING WHEN THE PRESS ARE AROUND! THEY’RE CALLING ME A CRADLE ROBBER AND DONT BELIEVE YOURE MY GIRLFRIEND!
MC: But- you are a cradle robber. 
Zen: Woman! I’m like three months older than you!           

Jaehee:
Random customer winks and gives a finger gun to Jaehee after being served a coffee by MC.
Jaehee: Um… thank you? I’m not quite sure what that’s for-
Customer: Just giving you props for being an out and proud-
Jaehee: bisexual? thank you-
Customer- -Cougar
Jaehee: ???
Customer: ????
Jaehee: She’s older than me? 
Customer:…. ahhhh- like the older women then?? *another wink and finger gun*
Jaehee: …Alright. No more coffee for you today. 

Jumin:
MC: Excuse me, Waiter? I would like to order a glass of wine-
Waiter: I’m sorry little lady, we don’t serve people under the legal age-
MC: Oh- hahaha, I’m legal!
Waiter: Please sir- control your little sister-
Jumin: *chokes on his wine. He reaches for her purse and takes out her ID and smacks it against the waiters face*
Waiter: I… Oh… I’m so sorry- you are indeed legal-
Jumin: NOT THAT! SHE’S MY WIFE NOT MY SISTER! HAN SEE THAT H-A-N! WIFE!
MC: *sweat drops* thats… that’s what matters to you right now??? 

Saeyoung: 
*trying to get into a R18+ movie* 
MC: They won’t sell me a ticket! 
Saeyoung: Why not?! 
MC: I forgot my ID and they won’t believe that I’m over 18! 
Saeyoung: What?- well- you do look young. I’ll buy them. *goes to the counter, comes back instantly with two tickets* 
MC: Oh yes! …wait… these are tickets for Moana… 
Saeyoung: HE GUILTED ME INTO IT, SAID THAT THIS WAS FAR MORE AGE APPROPRIATE FOR US TT__TT
MC:… You didn’t even try did you? 
Saeyoung:…. the reviews said it was really good… 

Saeran: 
MC: *reading a racy manga in public* 
Offended Old Passerby: Sir! Your young friend is reading material that isn’t-
MC: *gives them the finger*
OOP: WHY I NEVER! As the older party here aren’t you going to tell her off?!
Saeran: *gives them both fingers*
OOP STORMS OFF
Saeran: *turns to MC and points to a picture* We should try that position when we get home. 
MC: … why wait until we get home? 
Saeran: I love you. So much, 

V: 
MC trying to enter V’s exhibition 
Guard: Honey- listen, you can’t come in OK- this exhibition is for adults only. 
MC: You don’t understand-
Guard: Look there’s some pretty intense nudity in there and it wouldn’t be right for me to allow you in without some form of ID
MC: I forgot it in my other purse- oh! V! V, over here! 
V: Hey MC! What’s wrong?
Guard: Sir, she has no ID and I can’t allow someone into the exhibit when they could be exposed to such-
V: She was the model for the entire series
Guard: *nosebleeds*
MC: So I guess I can go in and look at my own naked ass right? Thanks buddy! 

Literally Just A List Of Things That I Love
  • cheese, of all kinds
  • my family
  • the way workshops and some garages smell
  • the fact that you can have restaurant-quality food delivered to your home so that you never have to get out of your dog-themed jimjams
  • the word “jimjams”
  • every dog that has ever been and will ever be born
  • usaa’s a+ customer service
  • the smell of books when you fan their pages right onto your nose
  • when you’re underlining something and the line is perfectly straight under the text
  • colorful highlighters, in general but also i’m thinking kind of specifically of this 15-pack a sixth grader gave me once when i was in the 8th grade, and looking back i obviously shouldn’t have accepted it because i think he was just trying to impress me, but whatever, those highlighters were the bomb
  • 3 musketeers bars, the best candy bar do NOT @ me about this
  • dave, the nice man who runs the candy store below where i work, who always calls me mollyboss or smiley-girl
  • my xxl ovechkin ugly christmas sweater that goes down to my knees and like four inches past the tips of my fingers in the sleeves
  • actually i could probably just say xxl sweatshirts and sweaters in general, my jimjam of choice
  • soup!!!!!! oh man i love soup. clam chowder is maybe my favorite? it’s hard to say, there’s lots of amazing soups in the world, you guys gotta get in on this soup thing
  • a clean apartment
  • setting my ac to freezing temperatures and then going to sleep under a pile of warm blankets
  • babysitting children between the ages of 5 and 12 and then returning them to their parents who are not me, that part is very important
  • stretching in the morning and making those weird dinosaur sounds when you do it to deepen the stretch you know what i mean like the t-rex sounds??? but like baby cartoon t-rex sounds. not real t-rexes because i feel like … probably real t-rexes were very loud
  • running outside when it’s like … 40-ish degrees so you don’t get hot and the air tastes like water
  • the ocean, as long as i am not in the ocean
  • midi rings, even though they definitely always fall off, like, immediately thanks to my tiny troll hands
  • when your checked bag is the first one on the carousel at baggage claim
  • novelty mugs!
  • interior design–i’m not actually any good at it, i don’t really have an eye for furniture, but i love looking at other people’s beautiful interiors, some people are so gifted!!!!! 
  • looking outside the plane window and seeing clouds
  • panang curry that’s so hot it makes your nose runny
  • my nearly-lifesize papier-mache cow, whose name is queen beez
  • my sister’s couch
  • coffee with real, fresh, heavy cream
  • coffee with that terrible french vanilla flavored creamer you can buy in like, 7/11s
  • brunch in all forms, at all times, in all restaurants
  • snow!!! on christmas especially but also just whenever
  • the first week of warm weather after winter
  • the way it feels when you land in your home airport and step off the plane and all the tourists don’t know where to go but this is your turf and you already know where baggage claim is
  • getting into the writing zone where everything comes easily and you keep surprising yourself with on point turns of phrase
  • receiving messages from people who were having a bad day and read my stories and laughed
  • when my podiatrist told me i was his toughest first-timer for epat which was either good or worrying about my pain tolerance
  • having my teeth cleaned, i mean not the process but the way your mouth feels shiny after
  • listening to music, always, at all times, in all situations, but especially when i’m running and a song has exactly the right beat and it gets in like, your bloodstream you know what i mean? like you can feel it? and suddenly running isn’t hard anymore, you’re just like, moving with the music and it’s as easy as breathing
  • waking up early and not being tired
  • murder, she wrote
  • those people that you’ve never been particularly close to, but who are kind of just simpatico–like you’ll never be great friends but you’ll always be great at being friends
  • workout gear, god, i’m such a sucker for workout gear
  • amazon prime can deliver to you in under an hour!!!!! and i know it’s bad, i know amazon is bad, but we are truly living in the future
  • realizing that you’re not angry about something anymore
  • papa john’s garlic breadsticks that will definitely, definitely give me heart problems but are so worth it
  • a really satisfying zit pop
  • the billy gilman christmas album
  • massages when the masseuse just turns on like enya or whatever and makes all your problems disappear
  • the way the world looks when the sun sets and when it rises
  • money!!!!! i love money. i want more money all the time. anyone who tells you they don’t care about money is either lying to you or already has enough that their hunger is sated.
  • rain on the weekend, when you can stay in and drink hot drinks and read and light scented candles and never get out of your slippers
  • someone playing with my hair
  • finally getting to pee after holding it for way too long
  • the smell of cigarettes a few hours after someone has put their cigarette out, so the smell has gone soft and gentle
  • an exclamation point drawn next to something i’ve written because somebody has loved it and wanted me to know
  • climbing on big rocks next to water, i feel like there’s a word for those but i don’t know it
  • “ain’t no mountain high enough” (the marvin gaye and tammi terrell version but of course also all versions)
  • airplane wifi!!! how cool is that!!! how does it work that high up!!!!
  • remember that internet post of the guy who wanted to buy a size 14 slipper but they accidentally sent him a 14-foot slipper?
  • country songs about women murdering their abusers
  • we don’t have to turn our phones off on planes anymore
  • the whistle of a text from someone i didn’t think still thought about me
  • lipstick
  • when the ice cream truck gives out free choco tacos
  • quick-dry nail polish that doesn’t chip
  • when people sitting in chairs are trying not to fall asleep so their head keeps falling and startling them awake
  • perfectly popped popcorn so there is only like 2 or 3 unpopped kernels
  • drinking a bottle of red wine with people who can make me laugh
  • stepping off a plane on a place i’ve never been
  • trains
  • dancing in my apartment, which is the only place i can truly unleash my dance talent
  • playing music with my brother at my mom’s house
  • jumping a gymnastics line, which is a horse thing i don’t know how to explain to people who don’t already know what it is
  • watching the penguins win in pittsburgh
  • actually, watching the penguins win anywhere, including from the comfort of my own home
  • remember how we won the stanley cup 2 years in a row???? me too, it was great
  • videos of soldiers coming home and surprising their families, which i know are designed to make me cry as part of the military-industrial complex, but whatever, it works every time
  • nailing my eyeliner
  • presents!!!!!
  • kissing!!!!!
  • finishing a crossword, especially the nyt sunday crossword, which is almost impossible to finish so when you do everyone in your life must bow down to you and call you queen of crosswords for the rest of the day
  • getting surprise packages in the mail, usually books, usually from my aunt
  • tsa pre-check
  • warm laundry piles
  • that show on netflix about unlikely animal friends
  • hot sauce, in general but specifically on a salmon and dill quiche
  • laughing so hard my stomach hurts
  • this one specific salad from my favorite restaurant in buenos aires, called felicidad (the restaurant not the salad, though it would have been an appropriate name for the salad, too), which was grilled vegetables and goat cheese and this special homemade dressing they refused to give me the recipe for even though i promised i wouldn’t tell anybody
  • cityscapes at night
  • the countryside at night, when you’re far enough away from everything that you can see what feels like the whole universe
  • mountains! mountains! mountains!
  • magic mike xxl
  • a good cry, the kind where like, something not that bad happens but your brain just decides that it’s time for you to totally lose it and loudly wail on your couch for a little while until you’re sleepy enough to curl up and fall asleep under the faux snow leopard blanket your friend you call egg made
  • the faux snow leopard blanket my friend i call egg made
  • whole pints of ice cream, especially freddo, especially freddo that has been delivered fresh to my door, which is a thing that can happen for you in argentina
  • having the perfect return zinger in a battle of wit
  • when you hug somebody and they pick you up and swing you around
  • big parties with music and dancing and long dresses
  • road trips
  • biking to work when the wind is going my way and there aren’t too many other commuters
  • everything bagels with just the right amount of cream cheese
  • chicago’s lincoln park nature walk
  • making friends with cashiers and waiters and tsa agents and taxi drivers and the other people it takes no effort to talk to but are always so sweet and kind
  • when someone comes through for you that you didn’t expect would care enough to come through
  • being surprised
  • new boots
  • the smell of a tack room
  • vintage travel trunks
  • 1010, even though it’s just low-stakes tetris, a game that is already very low stakes
  • taking a bath in my mom’s jacuzzi
  • doing a good job on a project at work and seeing it all come together
  • bullet points, just like, as a concept
  • words that can’t be neatly translated from one language to another
  • a really good novel, but also
  • a really good nonfiction book about basically anything though right now i’m really into art theft
  • oh!!!! art museums!!!!
  • writing papers about books and their subtexts
  • northerly island in the summer when the geese are on the water and it’s quiet and i’m the only one there and you can’t see the city
  • creating an elaborate self-insert fantasy about my character in zombies, run
  • floating in a pool on a sunny day while there’s music playing and someone keeps refilling my drinks and feeding me spicy shrimp appetizers
  • that sushi place in chicago where all the sushi is $2.50
  • the internet
  • the subscription economy
  • when politicians surprise you, pleasantly
  • good hair days
  • driving over a hill just a little too fast so your stomach drops
  • driving on the back roads in virginia, which are all winding and tree-covered and beautiful and don’t have speed limits
  • going to the movies
  • you know when you walk through the front door and a dog is excited to see you?
  • big hats
  • dresses of all styles, but especially the ones that make you look like a literal hourglass
  • crop tops
  • my pittsburgh penguins toaster that burns the logo into my bread
  • taking a long walk and talking on the phone
  • racerback tank tops (END THE HEGEMONY OF T-SHIRTS)
  • the feeling you get when you’re riding on a bus or in a car or on a train at night and you’re going home and the day has been busy and good and your playlist is slow but not sad and your heart feels so so so full
  • days of the week underwear, especially the stella mccartney ones that i can’t afford and wouldn’t buy even if i could because who needs to spend $250 on an underwear set?! that’s insane. i’m against it. but!!! i like that they exist. they’re very pretty.
  • the view of chicago you get when you ride the pink line to pilsen
  • sparkling water
  • when my form is perfect doing a roundhouse kick in krav maga and i get that really satisfying bam sound when i hit the mat
  • perfume that smells like orchids
  • coming through for somebody you weren’t sure you’d be able to come through for
  • when i tell a story at a party and all the surrounding groups fall quiet to listen even though i was only talking to a few people
  • late night with seth meyers
  • drawn-out fantasies of winning arguments while i’m taking a shower
  • having my back scratched
  • meeting someone very briefly, like on a bus or in a bookstore, and flirting with them, and weaving an entire fantasy relationship and life with them that you have no plans to pursue it’s just like, a nice thing to think about
  • that this blog exists
  • that you read it
  • that you clicked on it at all
  • thank you,
  • i love you,
  • stay good, moonbirds.
  • stay good.