the wild lord

10 Alternative Titles for The Picture of Dorian Gray:

• 101 Times Lord Henry Should Have Shut His Cynical Whore Mouth
• I Kissed a Boy, and More Embarrassingly, My Own Portrait, and I Liked It
• I’m a Murderer, but Everything is Perspective
• Although I’m a Complete Wanker, I Am Infact a Victim of Suggestion Under the Influence of Another Complete Wanker
• Narcissism and Consequences
• If You’re Not Young and Pretty You May as Well Just Die
• Personalities Don’t Seem So Ugly When Surrounded With Beautiful Things
• Selling Your Soul for a Picture Probably Isn’t Worth It
• Being Philosophical and Being Intelligent are Not Always the Same Things
• It’s Okay to be Gay As Long As You Get Rid of the Body

Tom Bombadil is the best/most amusing character in anything I’ve ever read because here you have this dude who skips around the forest all day and sings nonsense songs about himself, and the One Ring, the single most powerful object in all of Middle Earth that a fucking ancient evil is furiously searching for, has absolutely no effect on him. He pops it on and doesn’t turn invisible like most do when they accessorize themselves with the pure manifestation of power and greed but instead pulls some sleight of hand shenanigans and makes it disappear into thin air like a party trick before casually flipping it back to Frodo. Frodo asks Tom’s wife who the hell he is and she just responds “He is” because Tommyboy over here is fucking beyond mortal description. The elves, who are essentially immortal themselves, refer to to this guy as “the Elderest” because he was there before any of even the oldest beings on the planet could remember. The only reason the Fellowship didn’t pick the guy to journey to and destroy the Ring in Mordor was because he might accidentally displace the whispering hellcircle that even Gandalf, a primordial spirit that helped in shaping the world, was afraid to touch because Tom Bombadil just doesn’t give a shit. So the character that many scholars speculate is the supreme being and one true god of Tolkien’s entire universe is just this secondary character that refers to himself in third person and fishes in the forest while writing iffy poetry

2

june;

i. perfect places, lorde; ii. 13, lany; iii. somebody you found, the japanese house; iv. strangers, halsey; v. chanel, frank ocean; vi. broken clocks, sza; vii. shadow, wild nothing; viii. what a pleasure, beach fossils; ix. genesis, grimes; x. let my baby stay, amandla stenberg; xi. the louvre, lorde; xii. relax, fyfe; xiii. lovetrap, soko +more