There are a lot of Weasleys. They’re hard to keep track of.
It’s useful that they all have the red hair and freckles branding, just so you
can see them coming. But of all the Weasleys there are, Charlie is the one left
over, and I never understand why.
Fred and George are the troublemakers. Bill’s the smart,
cool one. Ginny’s the badass love interest. Ron’s the best friend. Percy’s the
stuffy, stuck up one. And Molly and Arthur are self-evident. Charlie is the other one.
Hang on a second… Wait just one moment… because that is about as true as a Rita Skeeter article.
In the first book, I found Charlie Weasley fascinating. He was the Gryffindor seeker, Captain of the Quidditch team and
went off to farm dragons. He is literally a dragon farmer. How is that not the
coolest job ever? Sure, sure, Bill’s a curse breaker, but Charlie farms dragons, people.
In case you have not read Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them, or have forgotten your
third year Care of Magical Creatures lessons, or just didn’t take it as an OWL
subject. Or if you’ve had a confundus charm placed on you and you’re getting dragons
and puffskeins mixed up, I’ll give you a brief description of what a dragon is.
A dragon is a living, flying, fire-breathing, flesh-rending,
claw-wielding, killing machine.
And Charlie farms them.
Well, he works on a ‘dragon reserve’, so it’s probably more
like a wild life park than a farm. But that just means the dragons aren’t tame.
Wild dragons. This is the job he chose. No wonder Molly’s worried about her
children dying, her two eldest seem to have started their career interviews
much like this:
Weasley, have you any ideas of what sort of career you would like to pursue?
Bill: Something really
dangerous, but with opportunities to travel.
Weasley, what are your plans after leaving school?
Charlie: I’d like a job where I work with animals… with a life expectancy lower than 30.
He spends all day patrolling an area that is actively
seeking to house MASSIVE KILLING MACHINES with bad tempers and murder weapons
Other reasons Charlie is underrated:
His little brother sends him an owl saying ‘hi, I’ve got an
illegal dragon, can you take it off my hands?’
And his response is ‘Sure, I’ll just send some of my mates
over to pick it up on their way to Romania. How about you sneak around the
castle after dark with a baby killing machine, and they’ll take it from there?’
So that was paraphrased, but it’s not that far off. Here’s
the actual text, just to prove exactly how many fucks Charlie Weasley does not
How are you? Thanks
for the letter - I’d be glad to take the Norwegian Ridgeback, but it won’t be
easy getting him here. I think the best thing will be to send him over with
some friends of mine who are coming over to visit me next week. Trouble is,
they mustn’t be seen carrying an illegal dragon.
Could you get the
Ridgeback up the tallest tower at midnight on Saturday? They can meet you there
and take him away while it’s still dark.
Send me an answer as
soon as possible.
Yes, it’s another letter. I’m sensing a theme. But Charlie
here is the most chill anyone has ever been about an illegal dragon, and that
includes Hagrid. It might be the most chill anyone has ever been about
anything. He actually starts his letter with “How are you?” and “Thanks for the
letter.” WTF dude? Your brother’s letter was a request for an illegal dragon
smuggling operation… HOW ARE YOU? That’s not the first question anyone else in
the world would ask. But no, international dragon smuggler Charlie Weasley is
too busy whistling Little Green Bag while
wearing shades and riding on a dragon to be bothered by such petty things.
Seriously, how often does this happen to him that he can
just take it as a matter of course? Dear diary, today was a little
disappointing, I only managed three illegal things. In future I will try
Maybe his innate calm has something to do with when he was
born. Charlie was born in 1972. His formative years were during the First Wizarding
War. His uncles, Gideon and Fabian were part of it. His family were considered
blood traitors. When you grow up in that sort of environment, you’re bound to
lose perspective a bit. Nothing seems too bad, even dragons, after you fell
asleep with nightmares of Voldemort lurking under your bed. Sure they can
breathe fire, but are they as scary as random murder, imperiused family members,
and armies of animated corpses? I think not.
And who are these friends? They are barely mentioned
in the book, but they are good enough friends that they will go out of their
way (no one can tell me that Scotland is on the way to Romania from anywhere, unless they’re from Iceland. Are they from Iceland?) to pick up
illegal and flammable contraband, of a living variety, to take on a VERY LONG
broomstick journey just because Charlie floos them and says ‘hey, my brother
Ron… no not that brother. The other one. The youngest one. Honestly, I don’t
have that many brothers… yes, that’s the one. He’s got an illegal baby dragon in
Hogwarts and I need you to pick it up and bring it on over to Romania for me.
Then they get there and Ron’s not even there to meet them,
just two other random first year students (well, less than random, because one of them is Harry Freaking Potter) and a dragon in a box. But do they
ask questions? No. Pfft. They came here for a dragon. There’s a dragon. What’s
the big deal. They are described as ‘cheerful’, and even take the time to show
Harry and Hermione the gear they’re going to use to dangle Norbert(a) from
Why are they even using broomsticks at all? I doubt an
unregistered portkey is really going to give them difficulty, seeing as they
are smuggling an illegal dragon out of the country. Can you not side-along apparate
Yes, Hermione, I know you can’t apparate into or out of
It is possible that they could have apparated just outside
of Hogwarts Grounds, hopped on their brooms, picked up the dragon from the
tallest tower, flown back, then apparated away again. All with a baby dragon.
I guess the point of this whole exploration into the
logistics of dragon smuggling is that Charlie is the kind of person who has
friends who are willing to risk life, limb and liberty for him. And do it
cheerfully. Either that, or he just attracts the sort of crazy, madcap
troublemakers who think that smuggling dragons a-broomstick is a good time.
Either way he’s a man I’d like to meet.
Then, in Goblet of Fire, we finally actually meet the man,
but his appearances are entirely overshadowed by Bill. Which is sucktacular. I
get it, I get it, Bill’s cool. He’s got an earring.
He wears dragon hide. Sure. Bill’s
But Charlie transports four nesting mother dragons to
Hogwarts just so the Wizarding World can hold the Hunger Games Triwizard
Tournament. And he survives.
I don’t know what was involved in that transportation, but I’m
willing to bet it was not the most fun road trip ever.
“Are we there yet?”
“You asked that like, three seconds ago.”
“I know, Charlie. It’s just that Bob’s on fire.”
“Again? Tell him he’ll have to wait until we see the next
lake. I don’t have time to put him out right now.”
And then, after Goblet of Fire, Charlie becomes the Weasley
Family Ghost, occasionally mentioned, but seldom seen. His page on the Harry
Potter wikia is full of ‘It can be assumed that’ and ‘It seems’. He gets so
little page time compared to the others that there’s very little concrete that can be said about him. But he charges straight into the final
battle. He’s supportive of Harry and Ron. He’s Bill’s best man, and he’s
clearly a cool head in a crisis. He was also a really good seeker. All things I would like to see more of.
It’s even worse in the films. I couldn’t remember him being
in them, and I am reliably informed by the HP wikia that he only appears in the
photo of the family in Egypt in PoA. He’s the only member of the family that
doesn’t appear in person.
I’ve even just had a look for him on the new Pottermore and
he doesn’t have a page. He doesn’t have a page! I think I might have
accidentally wandered into the wrong universe. He’s not even mentioned on the
Weasley Family page. WTF?! Has he been written out of canon? Am I genuinely in
an alternate universe? *Checks books* Nope. Charlie’s definitely still there.
Should I start a petition about this?
Most underrated? I think so.
My only consolation in this is that if Charlie knew about
this, he probably wouldn’t even care.
He’s also the only member of the Weasley family not to be
paired up at the end, like the characters in a Shakespearean comedy. He’s more interested in dragons than women,
apparently. Maybe some of you are reading into this that JKR just forgot about
him, or didn’t care. But let’s look at it another way. He already has his happy
ending before the books even begin. Him and his psychotic killing machine pets,
living it large in Romania. Who needs romance when you’ve got dragons?
If you don’t picture him walking slo-mo towards the camera
with dragon fire exploding out behind him, not batting an eyelid, then you are
imagining him wrong, just so you know.
Redefining cool as fuck since 1972.
The cutest roar ever! Three-month-old lion escapes
from his mother to test out his new voice in South Africa
He may only be three-months-old but this lion cub has proved it is never
too early to start practising his roar. The young cat was caught on camera opening his mouth wide and testing out
his voice in an South African game reserve.
And tourists who were lucky enough to catch the rare sight said the
youngster looked exactly like Simba, star of the 1994 Disney classic, The Lion
King. Heinrich Neumayer, from South Africa, snapped the pictures, and said this
particular cub seemed to have a big personality.
He said: ‘There were eight cubs in total, but this little one stole the
show, no one seemed to notice the others.
'The whole group were stunned by this little guy’s performance, the
mischievous cub wasn’t listening to its mother.
'He definitely reminded us of Simba, he didn’t want there to be any rules.
He moaned the whole time he was being carried by his mother and ran away as
soon as he was let go.
'His mum called him back a couple of times but he was not finished and he
didn’t even look in her direction.
'She was not having any of it and started walking to the cub, and continued
calling him and he still ignored her.
'When she reached him he quickly tried to run away but she managed to trip
him and he tumbled a couple of times.
The professional wildlife photographer and safari guide, snapped the
pictures of the captivating cub in the early hours of the morning at the Sabi
Sands game reserve, adjacent to the Kruger National Park. He said: 'We could hear the roars of the lion pride throughout the night,
but in the early morning we were woke by raucous roars which suddenly pierced
through the early hours.
'Our guide quickly walked to each room with his flashlight and gathered all
of us for an earlier than usual game drive.
'We hastily made our way to the game drive vehicles and the excitement was
'Not even five minutes into the drive we found the entire Nkuhuma Pride;
the kings responsible for waking us all.’
The pictures show the young lion cub breaking free from his mother before
practicing his mighty roar to his adoring crowd. Mr Neumayer explained: 'He paused for a couple of seconds contemplating
what to do next, he looked at our vehicle, then the most adorable little cub
made an attempted roar.
'Our hearts melted and our cameras fired away!
'There were a lot of oohs and aahs from the group as the cub tried to state
'This little brave heart surely made it worth waking up so early and he
stole our hearts.
'With a will of his own and not following any rules, this little fluff ball
is all set to be a one of a kind ruler.'
With special thanks to @livingdeadblondequeen for her insight and ideas that were invaluable to me during this process.
Her heels clicked with every stomp on the pavement as she
ran towards her apartment after work, she grimaced just thinking about it. Not
the morphing into a wolf thing but the whole I just-blew-off-my-boss thing. He
said he had to go out, out! Whatever that had meant she hadn’t had time to ask
or be curious about.
Caroline couldn’t afford to stay locked in an office
building in the dead of night much less once the moon came out. It would not
only shock the night cleaning crew it might kill them too. Worse even turn them
into what she was. She racked her brain trying to think of all the ways today
could have gone and came up empty as she sped into her apartment ripping out of
her work clothes.
She raced to her hall closet and pulled out the duffel bag
filled with toiletries, chain, and a set of clothes for the morning after
before she jogged over to the kitchen. There she pulled the ham from the lower
rack and stuffed it into her duffel bag before she changed into an old dress
and sandals before she was gone from her home again.
Some of her kind she’d met in passing had said trying to
live a normal life was the thing that would be difficult, but Caroline always
found a way around it. That was until earlier today.
Klaus had marched all the way from his office across the
building to her little cubicle and had dropped a stack of files onto her desk.
She looked up from her own work to his eyes feeling like she was on fire, and
then he spoke.
“I’m heading out,” he said shortly, his temper obviously
getting the best of him, “these files are for you to finish up.”
Caroline felt her eyebrows shoot into her hairline at his
attitude then her eyes shot to the digital clock on her desk, she was late to
leave. Inwardly she panicked as she dropped what she was doing and ignored the
look her boss was giving her.
“And just where do you think you’re rushing off to?” he
asked as she slid past him in the nearly empty office floor making the reminder
of her co-workers look up at him as well.
The blonde winced turning back to look her boss in the face
as she vaguely told him, “I have a thing,” looking downwards before she was
sprinting towards his office because the elevator was located in that
He stalked after her grabbing her arm and tugging her into
his office looking for privacy as most of her co-workers eyes had followed.
Seconds passed and she stood still as he paced like a lion in a cage behind him
the sun dropping making Klaus look more handsome than ever. He slowed his pace
and finally acknowledged her once again as he drew closer.
“That thing,” he reiterated, “It’s officially postponed
unless you have a reason you’d like to tell me?” She felt his body heat, his
voice only now just above a whisper as he asked her.
She held onto her purse feeling her body pulse with desire,
“I’m not staying so sorry,” she said like there was ash on her tongue the words
barely escaped her.
Klaus must have sensed her disconcertion and used it against
her, “I’m the boss and you, you follow my orders. Now I realize you’re new here
but things have always run this way,” as he spoke she saw red.
“I assure you I am aware of how things traditionally go,”
she grit out, her fists in balls as she made her way back to his door.
“Caroline, These files-“ he began as he set his hand on the
door so she couldn’t make her get away.
She shook her head, she was running out of time, “Sorry, no
can do I gotta-“ she shook her head stopping just a whisper away from his mouth
making her breath puff.
“No, you’re staying here,” Klaus whispered seemingly under
the same spell.
Caroline shook herself mentally, “Look, any other night I
would but I have an emergency,” she said instead of kissing him like her wolf
would have liked. Kissing would be bad.
“Your emergency can wait until these files are…” Caroline
managed to pull the door open with her wolf strength the night gaining in and
making her that much more powerful.
“Bye-“ she called as she pushed for the stairs not wanting
to wait on the elevator and risk getting cornered.
“Caroline!” she heard her name but didn’t bother to take a
Living in the city was the hardest part of being a wolf, all
the smells, the dog parks, and the need to mark territory with other wolves in
the area. The smells. It was worth mentioning twice, especially how good her
boss tended to smell. It was like being free to run in the woods, no fear or
worry. It was like home or at least that’s what it felt like really he probably
just smelled of Armani or something equally as ostentatious as him.
Why was she thinking about Klaus again, Klaus, yeah his mere
name did things to her and her wolf. The bad girl inside Caroline liked to call
her. Why she thought of him still eluded her as she got into her car and drove
the twenty minutes outside of the city before she got to the wild life reserve
and paid her overnight ticket parking her car in one of the many free spots.
No one had ever asked her before why she never had a tent or
cared to bring anything but a duffel bag and she had barely stuck around now to
have anyone ask as the day grew darker. Quickly she unzipped the duffel bag
when she had gone out as far as she usually did and threw out the ham. It was
disgusting but it usually sated her wolf’s hunger.
Then she quickly looked around careful to sniff out anything
or anyone that would be lurking by as she felt her blood temperature drop. She
felt her eyes shift to night vision, as she stripped from her dress and tossed
aside her sandals grabbing the chain from the bag and wrapping it around a tall
oak tree before she wrapped then end of the chain around her waist. Usually she
got out of it but it kept her wolf bust most of the night and away from anyone
Then the difficult part happened, she shifted, her bones
cracked, her flesh tore, and her blonde tresses once again became beautiful
silver fur. She swore she heard something, definitely something, sniffed their
scent, and a growl escaped her. That was when her chain was unlocked by an
outside force and Caroline was set lose.
The next morning she awoke naked but not alone. It was a
shock to see him laid out beside her. And so she peeked. Just once, but it was
enough to have her body turning molten at the sight. Nope, she thought, Klaus
Mikaelson was her boss not a wolf and not her mate. So Caroline shot up from
the ground and covered her body with her hands.
She’d figured out his secret and he’d figured out hers. So
why did their touch electrify? Why did he chuckle so huskily as he got up and
leaned closer? Why was he as naked as her on the full moon? Spooning? These
questions eluded her as his lips met hers.
“I knew it,” he uttered against her mouth as the
autumn leaves crunched underneath their lithe bodies, “What a pleasure it is to
have my suspicions confirmed.”