the wife always wins

CULT: EPISODE 2 (A LOT OF SPOILERS AHEAD, AS USUAL)
  • Ahh yes, so here we are again. Another Tuesday night, another episode of AHS
  • I legit just jumped at the clown in the bed, as if I didn’t see the lead into this episode last week, a SPOILER ALERT indeed. Anyway, fuck!! I hate clowns
  • I don’t know if the entire Internet has spoken about this already, but I saw a college friend talking about AHS on her Facebook last week & her other friend called this particular masked terror (the one in Sarah’s bed) Dildo Clown™. I think it has a ring to it
  • HONESTLY, I LOVE MY LESBIANS. LOOK AT ALISON PILL FUCKING PROTECTING HER WIFE & YOUNG, WHAT A HERO
  • I sense there won’t be a clown in sight, though?? Stay tuned (I also sense Alison Pill will have a meltdown over Sarah’s antics eventually, someone protect my lesbians)
  • Honestly, what the hell are each of their characters’ names again?? Ally & who??
  • That’s a BIG. ASS. KNIFE. This chef doesn’t play, yikes
  • This music has me shaking!!!
  • “I don’t know what’s real anymore.” Same, girl - you get me
  • ARE THEY USING THIS AS FOREPLAY?!?!?!
  • Oh, hellll naw. Fuck Twisty. I know that’s him, I know his outfit way too well (help me)
  • Oz is so cute in his little glasses
  • FUCK NAW, FUCK TWISTY
  • Oh, I see Dildo Clown™ is friends with fucking Twisty, the hell
  • I HATE THIS SHOW
  • WHERE THE FUCKS HIS MOMS AT
  • OH, THERE THE FUCKS HIS MOMS AT
  • A fucking night terror?? Bitch, nope
  • Is it wrong to be weirdly suspicious of Alison??
  • Maybe she ain’t over that Jill Stein vote after all
  •   This blue haired dweeb
  • Oh, hi, new neighbors!! (Sarah’s profile makin’ me weak, though)
  • Have I mentioned that I’m really gay?? I feel like that should be in the above bullet, but it also kinda deserved its own bullet so
  • Anyway, I really like Sarah’s hair in this season!?!!? I almost feel like I should get a similar style, but I dunno if it would make me look way older than I want to look, though (I’m only 27 & I feel like it would make me look at least 35, no shade, just truth – I do need a haircut, though)
  • Ugh, Paulson, she’s so fine
  • This poncho-ass bitch!! I don’t trust her already!!!!!!!
  • Nice contamination outfit???!?! (HUGE QUESTION MARK)
  • WHAT ARE YOU DOING, SARAH?!
  • WHY DONT YOU HAVE A JELLO MOLD!?! IT WOULD MAKE YOU APPEAR LESS SUSPICIOUS!!!
  • Sarah… (you’re being a little creepy)
  • BUT HES CREEPIER, WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT OUTFIT!?!!?!
  • Hello, again, poncho-bitch (my uncle’s ex-wife wore ponchos & so now I don’t entirely trust women in ponchos, should I go to therapy for this????)
  • I would just like to declare that I’d totally eat my face off at Ivy’s restaurant (that’s her name!! All is right in the world again now that I know how to properly identify my lesbians & know their proper names)
  • Holy, shit. That’s a really BIG ladle?!?!!?
  • Who the fuck is this angry ginger anyway?? He’s giving me the creeps. Is that mean to judge?? Yolo, it’s a horror show sooooo
  • DAMN THAT OUTFIT, SARAH!! MAMA, WERK
  • I’m really gay
  • OH HEY, THERE IS MY GIRL, WEDNESDAY ADDAMS!! Always pulling through with those Halloween vibes (I don’t trust her, of course, but she can still serve lewks – yes, even with her bad dye job & WHATEVER *this* outfit is)
  • Da lesbians have such a sweet pad, though. What a nice house, I need to move to Michigan… or… well… “Michigan”
  • “Throwing shade!!” BILLIE!!!
  • That fucking Twisty statue-toy-thing-or-whatever. I HATE IT. BURN IT
  • THIS IS SO SCARY AND CREEPY HELP me?!!?!212
  • “They won’t come back for you.” That’s reassuring
  • Oz realizes the implications of being a witness at literally maybe 10 (at max)?? My tiny son is so educated. Good job moms!!
  • DONT TAKE HER PINKY
  • THIS GOTH BITCH IS SCARING ME, HOMIE
  • FUCKING RUN OZ
  • Oh, she’s keeping his fear?? I wish someone would take my fears too, damn. Make yourself a business out of that, homie
  • YOU REALLY GONNA TELL ME THIS KID’S NAME IS OZYMANDIAS?? (honestly, putting it in my back pocket for parenthood because I really like weird names)
  •  I know she’s a lady, but Sarah looks very daddy in this. Like damn, D-A-D-D-Y
  •  SO ANYWAY THAT HOUSE IS KINDA MASSIVE FOR SUCH A SMALL FAMILY?!! I?!!?! I dunno *shrugs*
  • Wednesday Addams leaving Oz alone with the creepy neighbors. Good motherfucking job, Queen of Halloweentown™
  • OH SHIT, HES A BEEKEEPER?!?!!
  • IT ALL MAKES SEN – OH NO, HOLES
  • GIRL, I HATE HOLES TOO!!!!!
  • Yes, you tell them, Ally. Fuck bees (but also save them, just keep me very far away from them haaaaay)
  • Honestly, I’m getting flashbacks to that Mary-Kate and Ashley straight-to-video detective schtick musical that they did about a beekeeper once. Anyone else out there feelin’ dat?? Bueller?? (Click here to refresh your memory…)
  • PONCHO-BITCH GOT THOSE LESBIAN JOKES DONT SHE ($5 she tries to hit on one of them this season, I’m just sayin’)
  • This beehive is symbolic, though, right?!!?!
  • CRYSTAL LIGHT, I JUST SCREECHED
  • Beyoncé
  • WE’RE ALL GONNA GET CANCER
  • Etsy
  • Nicole Kidman
  • GAY MAN
  • Meadow!!!!
  • Soul Cycle
  • DOESNT IT UPSET YOU (SAME)
  • JESUS, A BLOOD STAIN?!!?!
  • OH, MAN. I LOVE LITTLE OZZIE. I NEED TO DECLARE THIS
  • That room is giant (make dat paper, my lesbians)
  • That bed is giant too, damn (oh, they just said it was a California King – I need me one of those)
  • SARAH GOING TO FIX THE TRIPPED ALARM?!?!! GOOD STORY
  • She don’t got this, though!?!?!!
  • The alarm is off, go home. Get gone. YOU DID YOUR JOB
  • I DONT FEEL SECURE AS SHE EXPLORES THE PLACE?!!?!
  • So much meat?!!? 
  • Suddenly I’m vegan
  • OH NO. OH NO NO NO
  • THAT. IS. NOT. AN. ANIMAL!!!!
  • That was a good scream, though. Some A+ acting
  • My Emmy award-winning wife™
  • I always get hungry around this time of the show, it seems?!! Damn. I wish I had a snack again…
  • Install dat shit. MAKE YOUR HOUSE SECURE
  • That kitchen is pretty dreamy, by the way
  • “Just plain” (I don’t trust him, but to be honest, I drink plain tea too)
  • “Unglued” - me too, honey, can I get an amen!?!!
  • P.S. What Sarah just did with her tongue makes me… umm… FEEL THINGS. Like very, very gay things
  • OKAY, I KNOW SHES HAVING ISSUES IN THIS SHOW & I FEEL BAD FOR HER BUT DAMN, SARAH AS ALLY?? HER FACE IS ALWAYS SO ON POINT, HELP ME. I NEED STRENGTH TO MAKE IT THROUGH THIS EPISODE
  • She killed him, oh no?!!?!
  • OH NO NO NO
  • Oh good, so she didn’t really kill him?!?!!
  • Honestly, Colton Haynes could gittttt it, though. All he’d have to do is ask (he’s gayer than me, though, yeah?!!)
  • Poor Pedro?!?!!?!!
  • “In the present” WHAT. A. THERAPIST. THING. TO. SAY
  • THE WORLD IS FUCKED UP, YASSSS HONEY!!!!!!!
  • She wants to keep her family safe. She’s being so daddy
  • I don’t trust a man with a closet of weapons?!?!! UMMMM
  • I don’t trust Ally with a gun either!?!?! Sorry, I’m not sorry, but umm?!!!?!!
  • She better not ever aim at Oz or Ivy?!! IM SHOOK!! I know she’s gonna do something dumb
  • Nicole Kidman (FYI, Ryan Murphy IS projecting again, I feel it in my bones)
  • IVY DOESNT KNOW ABOUT THE GUN!?!!
  • THIS IS NOT GOOD
  • SARAH BETTER KEEP IT LOCKED UP?!!
  • WHAT ABOUT OZ?!!
  • I need a safe space (I’m kidding, but am I??)
  • Ally’s therapist has quite the strong jawline. Who the fuck is he?!! I can’t place him, but I’d probably bang him if he consented
  • “I’m worried about ya.” “Yeah, you should be…” OH SHIT, I DONT FEEL GOOD ABOUT THIS
  • So anyway, that knock on the door didn’t sound kosher
  • Yes, girl, get dat knife (it’s probably a neighbor??!!)
  • NOPE NOPE NOPE ITS NOT A NEIGHBOR
  • YES, LATTE-MAN, FUCK OFF
  • Talking ‘bout forgiveness, mhmm. I don’t think so
  • This blue haired dweeb preying on my wife, he needs to leave
  • AND GET OFF GODDAMN FACEBOOK
  • I love Ally’s vocabulary, it’s getting me hot & bothered, so there’s that
  • FUCK THIS BLUE HAIRED BASEMENT DWELLER, I DONT LIKE HIM
  • Again, poor Pedro…
  • Eeeeeeeek. So much meat?!!?!
  • Winter not tucking Oz in, I’m crying hahaha
  • Pinky thing :( MY POOR BABY CHILD
  • Winter is a certifiable creep, though
  • Me = squinting really hard to see what Ally’s prescription is (I feel like we might have known about this last week, but my memory sucks either way, so yay me)
  • WINTER!!!!
  • “They make me feel foggy” YES. BITCH. SAME
  • Meditation is nice…
  • Red wine & bath salts are nicer… and gayer
  • WINTER, ARE YOU TRYING TO SEDUCE ALLY?!!
  • Or hurt her…
  • Or both…
  • I’m so uncomfortable
  • WHAT. IS. THIS. BITCH. DOING
  • Really, Winter!?!!?!
  • ALLY!?!?!!
  • I don’t feel good about this?!!?!
  • That looks like a sweet tub, though…
  • Uhhhh?!?!!?!!!!!!!!!!! WINTER
  • jdfkgjgfk
  • I’m too gay for this
  • WINTER
  • “This is between us”
  • YO
  • NO. FUCKING. WAY
  • I AM TOO GAY TO FUNCTION, DONT GIVE ME THIS GAY ASS SEDUCTION
  • “You’re asleep.” - Okay, that line made me chuckle
  • NOPE, THIS CLOWNY ASS BITCH, THOUGH. FUCK HIM
  • It’s a commercial & I’m still a little turned on, but also confused by Sarah & Billie, whoooops?!?!!
  • IT WAS SO WRONG BUT FELT SO RIGHT, AM I RIGHT?!?!!
  • I need to take a Xanax, my gay ass is SHOOKETH
  • I’m now on Twitter during the commercial break & I may or may not have searched “Billie Sarah” SOOOOO
  • Glad I’m not the only one that needs to fan herself (according to Twitter)
  • Fuck Ryan Murphy for always dangling the things I want in front of me, but never actually giving them to me (e.g. Faberry)
  • “LESBIANS, WE’RE UNDER ATTACK” - is this a quote by me? No? Oh, okay!
  • SARAH NEEDS BILLIE AND I SHIP IT?!?!!?! (Only on the show, though)
  • I’m sorry Alison Pill/Ivy, I’ve betrayed you… and your marriage 
  • That fucking clown is still there & I’m not okay?!?!!
  • It was the masturbating clown too, right?!?! I MEAN IT WAS A MEMORABLE MOMENT LAST WEEK, OKAY
  • WHAT. IF. ITS. THE. RUSSIANS
  • My sweet Ally, I’m so upset
  • HER PHONE JUST DIED AND NOW IM SCARED SHES GONNA GET HER GUN
  • Oh, no, Pedro is gonna end up shot?!! WHY WOULD IVY SEND HIM OVER?!!? In Ally’s hysteria, we know she isn’t gonna recognize anyone that’s not her wife!!?!! This is so yikesy!!!!!!
  • IM SCURRRED
  • Fuck that ice cream truck!!!!!
  • Trust no ice cream truck…
  • Side note: my neighborhood ice cream truck got busted for drugs in the ‘90s. I hear this might have been a common occurrence, though?!!
  • Oh, the ‘90s, so nostalgic
  • HOLY SHIT, FUCK THIS SHOW?!?!!
  • I can’t do this clown shit, I did not sign up for this
  • WHAT. THE FUCK. IS. THAT
  • OKAY, BUT DOES ALLY EVEN KNOW HOW TO SHOOT A GUN?!!?!
  • Pedro is fucked, I feel it & I’m scared
  • “Is it morning?” “My glasses.” My sweet child
  • IS THAT A GUN, IM SCARED (ME TOO OZZIE)
  • I don’t feel good about this…
  • DID I CALL THIS OR WHAT (P.S. I guess Ally does know how to shoot a gun after all)
  • IM SHOOK
  • AND SAD
  • WHAT THE FUCK, PEDRO DIDNT DESERVE THIS!!!!!!
  • Back on Twitter looking at the previous search I did (”Billie Sarah,” woo woo) & it’s a commercial!! 
  • Oh great, awesome, wonderful. I just found out that Sarah has known Billie since Billie was 10?? I’m emotionally scarred from that scene, all of a sudden (source) & my wet dream is now insanely dry
  • Okay, so it’s still the commercial break & I don’t even like Burger King, but it’s an insane time at night (erm, it’s actually morning now) & these BK commercials are really speaking to me and my rumbling stomach
  • YO, TWO BURGERS, FRIES AND A DRINK FOR $3.49
  • Okay, we back!!
  • The preview for next week has got me sweating. LIKE DAMN, WHY YOU GOTTA DO THIS TO MY WIFE, SARAH PAULSON!?!?! SHE DONT DESERVE THIS
  • Alright, that’s a wrap for this week. Be good & pray to the heavens we get more Paulson/Lourd scenes that half creep me out (thanks Twitter for that fact I. DID. NOT. NEED. TO. KNOW), but also half arouses me too (we’re all adults here, damn it!!)
  • Until next time, watch out for dem clowns
NoctLuna family headcanons

So me and @mistress-light came up with the most aodrable headcanons that it legit bought us to tears figured why not share it? Okay soooo

Noctis and Luna are married ofc but the still bicker like any other couple but Luna is the one to ALWAYS win and Noct knows better then to fight his wife since Luna always wins their arguements-Although it’s the opposite when they’re in bed together ;) hahaLuna is more of a strict mom while Noct is the fun dad and this is where their cute arguements punch in cuz if Luna is telling Dawn one thing Noct is saying the COMPLETE opposite lol like eating veggies for example XD When Dawn is feeling lonely she comes out at the middle of the night and go to Noct and Luna’s room to sleep with them when she climbs their bed and sits in the middle of both Noct and Luna she squishes her squishable chocobo plushie and it squeals and both Noct and Luna wake up amd are like whhaaa??? - When they see it’s Dawn they both laugh and cuddle her with hugs and kisses while in the process they squish the chocobo again and it squels for the second time ♡ While Luna and Noctis are cuddling their little girl Dawn can’t help but pull out those adorable baby giggles XD When Dawn has a nightmare and wakes up crying Noct would take her in his lap and tell her an old story of when he was on a roadtrip with the boys just like how Regis did when Noct was a boy With Noct stroking her hair Dawn falls back asleep while Luna also was litsening to the whole story about his roadtrip Luna along with Dawn falls asleep too-Noct looks down at both his most beloved women in his life and gentlely kisses both their foreheads and he himslef goes back to sleep!
War (Robb x Reader)

Originally posted by drain-seeker

(Gif credit to owner)

Fandom: Game of Thrones

Character: Robb Stark

Persona: Female

Word Count: 824

Request: Will you write a robb stark x reader where reader is his wife and robb goes to war and is losing. Until his wife and her men arrive and save him and they win :)))


It was always sad for a wife when her husband went away to war. There was always the possibility that her husband would never return again and it was almost guaranteed that if he did he would never be the same.

You tried not to think about that, instead you thought of happy things as you sat watching Winterfell from your window, a needle in your hand and a piece of fabric in your lap. It was much quieter now that nearly all the able bodied men went away to war, it was even more quieter now your husband, Robb, wasn’t around. You had no one to spend your time with, Bran often lay in bed and you couldn’t entertain Rickon for long enough.

Keep reading

Rape Culture in OUAT, or why you can’t pick and choose what is and isn’t sexual assault

The argument about rape culture in OUAT often comes down to “Who’s the worst villain?” which is troubling when it is a very real and prevalent aspect of the show. And when people start arguing that well, this villain does this and that one did that, it diminishes the fact that OUAT continues to perpetuate lack of consent as normal and acceptable.

Keep reading

La Rumba

This is my first ever fanfic. It’s all James and Sharna’s fault. I may write more if I have time. Enjoy!


——————————————–


James is sitting alone in the living room of his new country house in Indiana. The huge flat screen TV is showing the live premiere of DWTS season 29. It has been 3 years since he was on the life-changing show. He can remember it like it was yesterday. It started simply as a stage to promote Indycar to a wider audience. He went on without any expectations but instead the whole thing went way beyond his wildest dream.

It was fun meeting Sharna, James remembered. They had same sense of humor. Becky even said that Sharna is the female version of James when they were at Sonoma trying out the two-seater. The first three weeks went really quickly with both of them goofing around during practice and Becky sitting in the corner watching. Becky was not wild about the Cha-Cha because she has never seen that side of James before, being all sexy and basically glued to another beautiful woman. She complained. James remembered saying that he was not comfortable too but he had to do it, so he invented Ricardo. Well, James felt something after the Cha-Cha. He was not sure what it was. Maybe it was just Ricardo messing with him.

Week 5’s tango was lauded by the judges and it gave James the confidence he needed to think that he might have a shot at the mirrorball after all. Then came the wicked Week 6. The Rumba.

“James, the rumba is a very sensual and sexy dance. Much more than the Cha Cha” said Sharna at their first session of the week.

“How can it be worst than the Cha Cha with all the grinding there were?” joked James while doing the ass grinding…

Sharna, unimpressed by his grinding, said: “Well, imagine having sex without actually showing the act of it. It is intimate, sexy. The dance before the act.”

James’s jaw dropped to the floor. Becky was fidgeting in her chair. There was a dead silence in the room.

“Don’t worry! You will be fine! Becky, don’t worry, the chemistry James and I have will be enough to get us through this. Remember Robert and Kim? They did a wonderful rumba and he is not even close to your level of goodness!”

“Uh…. didn’t they get married after the show?” Becky asked.

“Not because of the rumba!” said Sharna. “Come on, I already have something planned”

The next few days, James picked up the routine pretty quickly. But on Friday, during practice, Sharna looked a little preoccupied.

“What’s wrong?” Asked James.

“I don’t know. We are doing fine with the steps. But I feel something is missing.”

“What’s missing?”

“I think we’re missing the passion in the rumba. The lust between us and the urge of you having me and vice versa. That’s how I planned the routine and I feel it is incomplete.”

James didn’t know what to say. He was never in this situation before. He is not a dance nor an actor. It is hard to act as if he wants someone especially in front of all the millions of viewers.

“I will try to study videos of previous seasons and I will try to find a solution just like I have before.”

James, being a racing driver, is used to analyze datas from previous races to improve for the next race. That’s what he has been doing since day one of DWTS. Sharna was so impressed with his improvement, she one day asked him how he does it. Ever since that day, they will sit down together, looking at the tiny screen of his phone, finding things to improve upon.

“Babe, this is all you. I can’t help you this time. I’m a pro so I can turn the heat on anytime! If you cannot find a solution by Sunday, on Monday night I may just have to set you on fire to get the heat!!! Hahaha”

“Challenge accepted!”

The next two days were the longest two days of his life. Even worse than his rehabilitation after the accident. He already had a solution but he didn’t know how to implement it. It was easy enough just by pretending she is the woman of his dream. But during the practice, he was unable to show it. By Sunday night during the camera blocking, Sharna told him not to worry that their routine is good enough to go through the next round even without the intense passion.

“It’s unacceptable!” thought James. “I will not settle for second best. I have to give it all!”
“For this once, I will love Sharna with everything I’ve got. She is my love and she is my life!”
Deep inside, Ricardo is laughing. “ Yes James. Yes. That’s right. You know you want it to be true for sometime now.”


Monday at the dress rehearsal, Sharna noticed something is different. Good diferente. She noticed the way James looking at her was diferente. “Maybe I’m imagining but this is good for the routine. Not enough but good enough.”


Just before their dance, in the red room, James came close to Sharna and whispered into her in a musky voice: “I love you.” She was caught off guard. “I love you too babe!” She said.


At their starting position, she felt James. Not because they are touching each other. But she felt his yearning, his wanting, his desire of having her. She felt his love for her. It was something that never happened to her before. EVER! Not even with Paul. The sexual tension is palpable. She was so surprised. The only way she can do is to reciprocate the feeling during this dance. “He wants me and I want him. He loves me and I love him. I will take all his love for me and give him back more. We are one and we are for each other.”


During the routine, every embrace was tender and loving. Every spin was powerful and with passion. Every touch was electric. James was on fire and Sharna was surprised.


The only person in the room who could feel this was Julianne. She saw the potential of this partnership. She saw the potential for it to be much more. Being a dancer, she knew this kind of opportunity didn’t come easily or ever! She wanted Sharna to be happy, so she wickedly planted the seed by giving a 9 and saying that there could be more chemistry.


After the live show, Sharna took James aside and asked.


“What happened tonight?”
“What? I told you before the dance in the red room.”
“You love me? I don’t understand”
“Sharna, I decided that in order for me to overcome this obstacle, I have to love you. I have to love you with all my heart.”
“James… I felt it. I felt your love. It took me by surprise. It was so intense, so raw. I never felt anything like this before. Thank you.”
“But still not enough for Julianne.”
“Don’t worry babe. From now on, I will love you back. We will show the world how beautiful our love is, even just for a short time.”


And the rest is history.


James, standing up after finishing the premiere, turn around and look at his trophies. He had just won his second Indy500 championship which are the two centerpieces. Next to his trophies are the two Emmys of his wife. In his heart, he always regrets not winning the mirrorball with Sharna.


He heard someone approaching behind him.


“Are you thinking about the mirrorball again, babe?
“Yes, I don’t know why. It seems to be more important to me than the Indy trophies.”
“Well, I just got a call from the producer of DWTS. They will be doing an all-stars season for Season 30.”
“Really?!”
“Yes, really.”
“Aww muffin, we are gonna crush them and we are gonna make history!”
Sharna laughed wholeheartedly and said:
“Yes my love, the first ever celebrity and pro married couple winning the mirrorball.”
“I think we need to make more room for the mirrorball, hon.”
“You didn’t do that for my creative Emmy! I hate you so much!”
“I hate you so much too!” He leaned in to kiss his beautiful wife with the biggest smile on his face.

honxrable  asked:

Zuko didn't know what to do. He was busy, but he gave his daughter and wife of five years his all. He wanted to know why this man was so much more interesting to her than he was. He was a handsome man- tall, dark, muscular, and from her tribe. He was always here now, and he didn't think she was cheating, but he knew Katara liked him- she flirted with him, smiled in a bubbly way when he was around. Zuko was jealous, and he was going to compete with this man to win back his wife's heart.

Katara had always been told she was a natural flirt… since she was a girl, getting along with the opposite was just something that came easily to her - even when she didn’t intend for it to. And now, five years into her marriage to the Fire Lord, the situation was no different. A childhood friend, Kanto, had been staying in the palace for the past few weeks, helping her renegotiate trade agreements with the Southern Water Tribe and the Fire Nation. Things with him were easy - the simple conversation, the laughter, the casual touches - and even though she meant nothing by it, she knew how it must look. Especially to Zuko.

Which explained her irrational nerves when she knocked on the door of his study. They were probably going to fight… again… and it ate away at her.

2

The tale of two cities according to Heiko and Stephi - Part 12


The last weeks we shared some historical information with you and we thought it’s time for sagas.

In the first picture you can see the Heinzelmännchenbrunnen in Cologne. This fountain was built in remembrance of little goblins called “Heinzelmännchen” which helped the citizens of Cologne. They came at midnight while everyone was sleeping and did the homework. The citizens were grateful though nobody ever saw them. One night the tailor’s wife (it’s always the tailors wife) played a dirty trick with them. She spread peas at the stairs. At midnight the Heinzelmännchen slipped on the peas while the tailor’s wife laughed about them. The Heinzelmännchen were very sad and went away. They never came back.

In the second picture you can see one of the bronze lions in front of the Residenz in Munich. It is said to bring luck to stroke the snout. In 1848 there was a rumor that king Ludwig I has a mistress. This rumor made the king very angry and he closed the university where the students laughed about him and his mistress. One night a student put a diatribe on the gate of the Residenz. The king was angry and promised a reward for catching the person who did it. The next night the student put another diatribe on the gate. The guards caught him. Surprisingly the king liked the student and gave him a bag of money. As the student came out, relieved that he’s not in the dungeon and even with a lot of money, he grasped on the lions snout to maintain balance. The passerbys saw this and since then most citizens of Munich (and tourists) stroke the snout of these lions.

And the moral of these stories, the tailor’s wife is always the bad one and impudence wins!

And as always praise to me and critique to Heiko. After twelve weeks working with me on this project, he’s used to it.