A Different Type of Feeling - boyf riends
Title: A Different Type of Feeling
Word Count: 1387
Pairing: Jeremy Heere x Michael Mell (boyf riends/Meremy)
Warnings: I don’t know anything about pot, so I’m kind of cringing at that part and I’m sure you will too (unless you know as little as me), kissing?
A/N: First ship I’m writing! (Well, publishing actually). I kinda got obsessed with Be More Chill, and especially boyf riends, so here’s this! I have two others in work that I’m not sure if I’ll finish, but I hope I do. I also have a Lin x reader one that I’m not sure I will finish, but I’ll try.
Gosh, Jeremy was in love. He know he shouldn’t, at least not with him. Now that he was with Christine he should love her. But he couldn’t help it. Michael was so cute and so good to Jeremy, and every time he saw his best friend his stomach filled with butterflies and his face turned beet red. He always cherished their moments together, and he had lost count of many video games he had lost to him because he was distracted by the way the shadows and light from the TV flickered on his face. Or how many times he had woken up beside him and just stared at his sleeping form. He always looked so peaceful. And his face seemed a little different because he didn’t wear his glasses. And sometimes he would smile a bit in his sleep, and small adorable dimples would appear on his cheeks.
It was not like he didn’t like Christine anymore. He still thought she was the prettiest girl in existence, and he still loved to talk to her. But he had realised he loved her more in a friend type of way. He didn’t get all flustered around her anymore, and he never felt the sparks to start with.
But he didn’t want to hurt her. She hadn’t judged him after the whole SQUIP incident, and she supported him afterwards when he had to deal with all the consequences. But so had Michael. He had honestly not believed it when Michael came back to him after he had treated him like he had done. He had been so happy. That was when he realised he loved him.
“So, what do you think? Jeremy? Jeremy!” Christine yelled, trying to get her boyfriend’s attention.
“Huh? Oh, uh, cool?” Jeremy shook his head as he tried to not think about Michael.
Christine wore an annoyed expression on her face. “Were you listening at all? Or were you to distracted staring at Michael?”
Jeremy’s eyes widened as his face turned beet red, and he started to shake his head. “N-no, I mean, I wasn’t staring, I just, I have a lot on my mind.”
It was obvious Christine didn’t believe him. With a sigh she took a deep breath and looked into his eyes. Jeremy hoped she couldn’t see his fear in his eyes.
“Look, I think we need to talk after school. Can you meet me in the drama room at three?”
Dread and relief filled up in his stomach as he nodded. He knew those words. We need to talk. That was something girls said when they wanted to break up with you. He felt bad for being relieved and hoping she would break up with him, but he really didn’t want to do it.
Christine smiled and stood up. “See you after school.” Then she left with her plate of food.
Jeremy caught Michael staring at him with a confused look, and Jeremy could feel the blush rise again. He put his head in his hands and sighed.
Jeremy were supposed to meet Michael after school to go home to his and play video games, but since he had to meet Christine, he had asked to just meet him there. But as he stood outside his best friend of twelve year’s house, he felt something he had never felt before. He didn’t want to go inside. He didn’t want to meet Micael and dealing with his feelings for his best friend. He didn’t want to worry about Michael finding out, or even losing the game because he was distracted. He just wanted to curl up in a ball under his covers and sleep. But he couldn’t, so after standing and staring at the door for five minutes, he finally walked in.
The way to the basement was memorised by now. He could walk the route in his sleep.
“Hey, what took you so long?” Michael asked from his beanbag, his eyes fixed on the screen.
“Oh, uh. Christine and I, we sorta, kinda, broke up…” Jeremy trailed off.
Michael’s smile was immediately wiped off his face, and he paused the game to look at Jeremy.
“Oh, I am so sorry. Are you okay, I know you loved her?”
Jeremy got a sort of fluttery feeling in his heart. Michael looked so worried about him. What had he done to deserve this?
“Yeah, yeah. I’m okay. It was mutual anyways. I had planned on breaking up with her soon, I just needed to find the right moment.”
Michael patted the place beside him, and Jeremy realised he hadn’t even sat down. He still stood by the staircase.
When he sat down, Michael handed him something small rolled up. A joint.
“Nah, dude, I’m fine without.”
Ever since the SQUIP, Jeremy had been terrified of not having a clear head. Of not being able to think without something influencing him. But he hadn’t told anyone. He should tell Michael.
Michael shot him a confused glance, but took the joint himself instead. Soon the familiar smell of pot filled Jeremy’s senses, and he felt strangely calm.
“So, what happened?”
“Why’d you break up? I thought you were helplessly in love with each other?” (A/N I’m feeling so helpless! Look into his eyes and the sky’s the limit-because I had to) Jeremy thought he heard a small undertone of bitterness in his voice, but he told himself it was just his mind running wild. He was hearing things that weren’t there, just because he wanted them to be there.
“It just didn’t work out. I didn’t feel like that for her anyway.”
And then Michael did something Jeremy should’ve expected. He hugged Jeremy. And a sweet scent of Michael’s shampoo and fabric softener, just ruined by the pot he had smoked engulfed him. Jeremy could feel himself instantly relax, and the butterflies in his stomach started to flutter again as his face went warm. Suddenly something Christine had said popped up in his head.
“You should tell Michael how you feel. Or else you might lose him.”
“Michael?” Jeremy said, his voice muffled because his head was buried in Michael’s shoulder.
Michael pulled away, and a small twinge of regret and nerves settled in his body.
“I-I have to tell you something.”
Michael’s eyes furrowed in confusion as he nodded. In the back of his mind Jeremy didn’t want to pull away, he didn’t want to this at all.
He took a deep breath, collecting courage, and then as he breathed out he said it. “I-kinda-have-a-crush-on-you-but-I-don’t-want-to-ruin-our-friendship-since-you’re-my-favourite-person-and-my-best-friend-and-I’m-never-gonna-have-a-better-person-than-you-in-my-life.”
Even though Jeremy had said it as fast as he could, and it probably had been pretty unclear, Michael seemed like he understood it, because now a shocked face had replaced his confused one, and a small blush spread on his cheeks, barely visible.
Jeremy looked down, his courage almost all gone, replaced by regret. How had he thought this wouldn’t affect their friendship?
“Jeremy, look at me.” Michael used hand to lift Jeremy’s face up.
He was met with his best friend’s brown eyes just a few inches from his face, and his breath fanned his lips.
“I-I love you.” Jeremy breathed, his mouth not following his head. Because in his head he was too busy picturing kissing his best friend.
Even though Jeremy could only see his eyes, he knew Michael was smiling.
“Good.” And then Michael gently placed his lips on Jeremy’s.
Even though this wasn’t Jeremy’s first kiss, it felt like it, because he had never kissed, or been kissed like this before. His kisses with Christine was awkward and lasted for a couple of seconds. He didn’t really feel anything with her. With Michael he felt like his whole body exploded. His eyes were closed but he could still see Michael’s eyes behind his eyelids, and the butterflies in his stomach was replaced with fireworks.
When they pulled away, the only thing Jeremy was able to think was ‘This was a different type of feeling’, and before he was able to react, he put his lips on Michael’s again.