the whatever complex

Something that You should Remember About Love...

Love is not measured by size….

Or shape…

Or even by “words”…

But purely in the fact that you want to be with this person. Nothing more, and nothing less.

Whatever form your love may be, may it be one that make you genuinely happy from the bottom of your hearts.

Happy Valentine’s Day ಌ

It was probably Elise who made Leo wear the flowers - Takumi is very much amused


Viva is perhaps more serious than the other three. She’s a girl who wants to move up in the world. She is very responsible towards her friends; she cares about their well-being and has a nurturing side. She’s sensible and very highly motivated to do well at school, go to university and have a career.

First thoughts on 12x18...

The Memory Remains is is one of those episodes where I can’t really tell how much of the problematic-ness was done on purpose, and I don’t want to be ‘that person’ that goes around saying that nothing is problematic and everything is perfect, but I also doubt that the ‘wrong-ey’ things in the episodes were accidents, because accidents don’t happen accidentally and there is a pattern, and patterns rarely happen accidentally. Basically - was the fact that all the main characters were white men done on purpose? The waitress Carmen and the health inspector are there, kind of in the outskirts on the scene, we barely hear their voices, the camera barely fixates on them, and when it does they don’t really get their ‘own’ shots, but we look at them through other characters’ eyes. In an episode with so much focus on looking through eyes (we repeatedly see things through a mask’s eye holes), I think it’s probably done on purpose.

It’s a claustrophobic episode, both in setting and ‘atmosphere’. Almost everything happens in enclosed spaces (the bunker, which is literally a bunker; a fridge cell; a basement with a literal tiny cage in it…) and the vibe of the episode is claustrophobic, a virtual enclosed space of lies weaved by white dudes. Reminds you of something? The episode Thin Man was the same, in Thin Man there was a dude wearing a monster mask that others mistook for a real monster (but… who was a real monster, although human), there were secrets and lies and the monster was a dude with an inferiority complex and whatever. After Thin Man aired we discussed about the episode being about white men only, the only female character killed right away and just a plot device, and it made sense - it felt jarring, and claustrophobic, and wrong, just like this episode feels, because everything is supposed to feel wrong and jarring and uncomfortably enclosing, because the episode is about cages and traps and acting wrong.

When Ketch and his men leave, the lights and shadow form a bar pattern, just like the bars that were supposed to keep Moloch trapped in the basement. The episode is about people being trapped, and Dean and Sam are trapped by the British Men of Letters’ scheme, Ketch has trapped them with the fake messages from Mick and now the bunker has become a cage, they’re under surveillance… it’s like when they were arrested, but now they are ‘arrested’ in their own home, and they don’t know it. They think they’re free, just like Lucifer thought he was free (and apparently now thinks he can get free, either with the help of that demon at the end of 12x17, or Dagon, or his child), but Lucifer was under Crowley’s control, just like the Winchesters are under Ketch’s control. Judging from the promo for 12x19, I’m betting that Cas also thinks he’s free but is under heaven’s control (again, poor thing).

Speaking of Lucifer - he’s a parallel to the Winchesters, but also, obviously, to the actual monster Moloch (*insert goat imagery related to the devil here*). Pete freed the monster from its cage, just like Lucifer has been freed from his original cage by Cas+prevented from going to the cage by Crowley. I’m not sure whether Pete is a mirror for Cas or Crowley or both - both Cas and Crowley wanted to use Lucifer for some goal (fighting the Darkness in Cas’ case, I-don’t-think-we-know-the-full-extent-of-it in Crowley’s), but Pete only claimed that his goal was ‘saving the town’, he just wanted very egoistical personal gain. If he’s a Cas mirror, he’s a dark mirror; if he’s a Crowley mirror, I don’t know.

Now let’s talk about Dean - Dean’s behavior is supposed to feel jarring and wrong, he’s concerned and scared about Cas so he distracts himself - the waitress (at a place filled with tiny Cas things* and large BS written everywhere), even called Carmen which reminds us of Carmen Porter from 2x20 and that is so not a coincidence, the burger, which Dean is overenthusiastic about just like when he came back from Purgatory (“it’s a treasure” then, “this is heaven” now - and the word heaven isn’t a coincidence, either, not with what the next episode is going to be about - again, I’m tending towards a Naomi-like situation where Cas is more under heaven’s control than he realizes, in some way or another).

* It’s like a compendium of everything - coffee, burger, “Gus’” like in season 9, the comet-ish-like logo, I mean, there’s even a fish…

The emphasis on the initial letters makes me think we’re supposed to read is as “BS C(a)S” aka bullshit Cas - Dean literally has sex with a woman to fill in Cas’ absence, and it’s quite explicit in the episode, it’s not just the letters or whatever - Dean is upset because Cas has disappeared, Dean acts on his coping mechanism things, it’s linear. It was supposed to be an episode about being closed in a dark place.

Changing the topic - the heaviness of dysfunctional white dude family brings us to the Stynes again. The entire season is run through by the Stynes, from the nazi elements to now a family who has a dark secret and basically owns the town (just like the Stynes were “gods” in the town). The intertwinement of the Bishop family and the British Men of Letters basically spells Stynes 2.0 - the Stynes invaded the bunker and ‘tainted’ it (back in those times we wrote about a possible adiós to the bunker just like we’re doing now…) just like Ketch and his men have done, with the difference that the Stynes trashed up the place, while the British Men of Letters acted so that Dean and Sam wouldn’t notice. Dean’s photographs feature heavily in both cases… (the two scenes are also parallel to Amara’s visit to the bunker, when she did trash the place up a little but also saw Mary’s picture and eventually brought her back - Amara, like Ketch, kind of collected into about Dean connected to Mary; the Stynes kinda did the same, as they dug up the same pictures, but they didn’t care).

So, I think the BMoL arc is going to have a lot in common with the Stynes arc, with the due differences - I expect a ‘reverse’ of the dark elements of the Stynes arc (Dean doesn’t have the Mark but has grown up a lot since those times, etc etc - extradiegetically, I’m pretty sure the witch twins and Jody are going to be fine lol, I’m pretty sure they learnt the lesson).

Basically I saw this episode as the love child of Thin Man and The Prisoner (there were vibes and references to other eps, but those two stood up imo), which suggests that the story will proceed in a way that will put the characters in situations similar to the ones back in late season 9-late season 10, except that the characters have gone through experiences that are going to have them react to the situation differently. Thoughts?


Yeah, we gave them a good show.  What? Cyrus bet on you. He doubled his donation. It was a show for charity. You knew that. Did you think you actually beat me, little brother? I did beat you. If you have to tell yourself that, go right ahead.

more angel au! (shout out to the two people in the rvb nano discord for suggesting “bird” and “wash”) 

he’s looking all fancy in his ceremonial armor and face paint. all ready to shake hands and kiss babies

One Night Only (M)

One night stand with Jungkook

Genre: Smut

Word Count: 5k

Originally posted by nnochu

It was never meant to be this way. He didn’t ever go for girls as average looking as you. Jungkook grimaced as he looked over your body and forced himself to look away. Why the hell are you looking at her idiot? She’s nothing like your type. Jungkook cursed himself and sighed loudly, pulling your attention towards him. He stared ahead blankly before leaning back in his seat, staring at the ceiling as the lights danced lazily across it.

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Notes on: radical aloneness

Last fall, I presented a paper on relationship anarchy. For those of you who are unfamiliar with the term (or concept), it can loosely be understood as a style of interpersonal relationships that doesn’t prioritize or hierarchialize relationships with others based on what takes place within them, at least a priori. In short, there’s a uniqueness to each relationship which makes their translation between relationships difficult to gather––a kind of ineffability that gets lost or violated in the transition. So, for example, you may relate with someone in a way that tends to be more like friendship: perhaps you sometimes get together for coffee, talk about things that are going on with your life, go for walks, make dinner together sometimes, etc––but, sometimes you mess around, not too often, but sometimes. Then, you may have another relationship that is a bit more weighty––for one reason or another it’s got a trajectory that shoots out into the future, a place where you may see yourself growing vegetables and living together, sharing projects, intertwining intricately. And then, just to have more than two examples, you may have a friend that is more traditionally just a friend: you watch hockey together, talk about books you’ve been reading, get a drink, whatever. There’s a complex calculus taking place in all of these relationships, a shifting definition, murky waters, not only interrelationship but intrarelationship, as well––just because you fucked around last time doesn’t mean it’ll definitely happen this time, just because you didn’t hold one another last time doesn’t mean you won’t this time, etc. 

The point being is that, out of the gate, you can’t prioritize based on the activities that go on within the relationship––the only thing that can be said is that the relationships differ. Now, in lived experience, you may want to spend more time with the person who you see yourself growing vegetables with (this is one of the miserable aporias of existence: love seems infinite, but time isn’t…) but this isn’t because you have sex or because you don’t have sex, it isn’t because they’re “more than a friend” or whatever coarse terminology is hoisted upon it––it’s because that’s the way that relationship goes, its particular mode––you require more time with them for one reason or another: they ignite you, they unravel you beautifully, they support you unflinchingly, they catalyze splendid complexity and nuance.

After I presented this paper, I spent some time with one of my former professors, a vibrant and shimmering man with a long philosophical history, but more importantly an insatiable thirst for life, gaiety, and joy––his continuing project being resolutely existential and affirmative. As we rode the bus late at night, he said to me something to the effect of: I absolutely loved your paper, why would we ever want people to be with us who don’t want to be with us? Why would we ever want to exercise power and control over loved ones, for that negates or corrodes love, rots it constitutionally. And then, in passing, right before I got on the bus I was transferring to without him, he said something to the effect of: what you need to be able to do relationship anarchy well is an incredible amount of radical aloneness. At the time, this comment slid right off me, it didn’t stick for an instant longer than hearing it and offering a surface response without thinking, “Yeah, you’re right, I think.”

What does radical aloneness mean, anyway. To me, it’s some sort of commitment to your shit, what you’ve got going on, a wellness and health that supports engagements with others, comes to the rescue when you want to lash out and heave at others, take people down because of your own insecurities. One who has cultivated an abundant radical aloneness can let the other be because they’ve got their own projects and projections, their own vital flow. If the one they love wants to be with others for whatever reason, they can be upset and bothered, even jealous of course, but on the whole everything is okay, for they are fecundity. You only know you haven’t cultivated radical aloneness when it’s too late, when you need it, unfortunately. Radical aloneness shouldn’t be equated with the singular or the individual either––sometimes radical aloneness means that you have fostered relationships with others that support you and supplement you. Other times radical aloneness means being actually alone, but alone is of course always populated by others as well, even if you’re alone in space at a given time.

Events of late have lead to reflect upon the ways that I create, sustain, and tend to my sense of radical aloneness. I think that, in other circles, this would be taken up as self-care, but this is unfortunate, I think. Radical aloneness can encompass what is broadly construed as self-care, sure, but sometimes radical aloneness means fleeing the self, evacuating the self’s rigid postures and habits, and setting out on unforeseen trails––instead of watching over the self, dismantling the self, letting the light shine in, opening up a window, cracking things up a bit. Maybe I’m being too fine with distinctions, but I think there’s a difference. Beyond that, I think that radical aloneness is the wellspring of being with others confidently and creatively: it is from this shimmering becoming that we can glow with others, connect with others in productive and dazzling ways. Radical aloneness as generative and combinatorial, experimental and stochastic, seeking to build and proliferate. Sometimes self-care is necessary to do this: sometimes you just need someone to make you an avocado sandwich, but an avocado sandwich isn’t going to propel you into radiance, just get you into the position where you can once again have the opportunity to luxuriate.

Maybe in subsequent posts I can explore the ways in which I cultivate this radical aloneness, or perhaps the times when it would have been immensely useful to have access to. 

because 也 is not "and"

So it’s pretty basic that 也 is only “also” or “and” when you are connecting right next to a verb. re: it always precedes a verb! ok so what do you use the rest of the time or when you want to mix it up. These are v basic example sentences but obviously you can put the structure into whatever more complex things your heart desires. Also google translate wont load and I do not want to pinyin right now :/ srry

noun 和 noun

ok you probably knew this one too, but still remember that it’s only for nouns. only!!

I ate buns and dumplings. (living that life)

adj 而 adj

uh yep, link up some adjectives. 

My friend is smart and hardworking.

verb 并 verb

This can be whole verbal clause, it doesn’t have to literally just be verb + verb.

Because I have three classes with her, we quickly became friends and understood each other.

big fancy list structure: 不但 …, 而且 …, 还

this is good when you need to list a couple clause-y things and want to upgrade from one activity per sentence. 

Teacher Liu has a wide variety of hobbies, for example not only going to the gym to work out, but also studying linguistics, and drinking local beer. 

bonus: “or” 或者 vs. 还是

还是 is typically for yes/no questions, or when there is only one possible answer. 或者 is for more complex questions or situations where the choices might not be exclusive. You can have your cake and eat it too. 

what is it with nerd boys being all like “activists are so over the top and hysterical, seeing problems that aren’t there! Geez!” and then going off on some wild spiel about how feminists want to make videogames illegal or enslave men or whatever victim complex fantasy they’ve dreamed up to explain away criticism. How do you become that unknowing of the irony in your own actions, how do you develop such a massive lack of self-awareness

Not everyone is meant to stay in your life, not everyone will understand you, nor you them. Not everyone will respect you. Not everyone will stand by you during your greatest trials. Not everyone will interpret your need for silence. Not everyone will appreciate the complexities of retreat. Not everyone will read between the lines of betrayal, trust, and abandonment of friendship. Not everyone will share your values. Not everyone will see what your frustrations really are. Not everyone will get your moods. Not everyone needs to. Very few will empathize, very few will keep your secrets and private fears. Very few will truly be by your side when it counts, unconditionally. Not everyone is meant to stay in your life, but such as any loss, there is grief, understanding, acceptance, letting go, finding inner calm …and an appreciation for simplicity in life.

I love everything that Frustrated Jacob says about Kairi in his “The Top 10 Things That Kingdom Hearts III Needs” video so much.

I love everything that Jacob says about anything in general, tbh. He’s just so smart and good at making his points. And this video in particular highlights a ton of the series’ problems, and how they could be made better.

But just keep in mind if you’re reading this, that he made this video before we really knew anything about KHIII. But even though we know Donald and Goofy will be going with Sora now (and other things), I think a lot of what he said here still stands, honestly.

“Kairi’s been around since the very beginning. She’s the second character we see in the entire series, for crying out loud. Unless you wanna count the opening cinematic. And she needs to finally have the chance to step into the spotlight.

I know that a lot of people have given up on Kairi entirely as character. Especially since she’s barely had a presence in the games. In Dream Drop Distance, she has maybe five seconds of screentime, no dialogue, and is mentioned perhaps twice. But personally, I like her.

Yeah, she hasn’t been all that fleshed out. But I think people’s complaints about her being a completely helpless damsel in distress are unfounded.

Sure, she lacks the ability to take care of herself for the majority of the series, but that doesn’t stop her from trying.

When Sora rescues her in Kingdom Hearts 1, she asks to go back with him for the final fight. In Kingdom Hearts 2, she actively leaves to go and look for Sora and Riku, as soon as the opportunity is presented to her.

If you go to the manga–…yeah, I’ve read the manga. What are you gonna do about it?–she’s even more proactive: punching a Nobody, and biting Axel when he tries to abduct her.

What does Princess Peach do when Bowser kidnaps her? Oh, yeah: She screams, ‘Mario!’, and that’s it. I’m not even sure Kairi even has it in her to ask for help, because she never does.

And when Riku does give her a weapon, she doesn’t waste time brooding or stumbling around like a jackass. She jumps straight in and starts killing things. I’m telling you: this chick is awesome!

…And since we were talking about escalation before, Kairi would be the absolutely perfect third protagonist.

As I said before, Sora and Riku should be unstoppable at the beginning of the game: So having a character like Kairi start at level one, and work their way up, would be a good contrast.

She could be the tutorial character like Roxas was in Kingdom Hearts 2. And then the player could get eased into the systems of the game, without having to worry about whatever complex tricks Sora and Riku have up their sleeves. 

Kairi would also massively change up the gameplay. The experience of playing as her would be totally different and refreshing, after doing an entire campaign as Sora or Riku–even moreso than switching between Terra, Aqua, and Ventus was.

But seriously: Kairi is the crux of this whole thing. There’s simply not enough depth to Sora to carry a major, emotional character arc. And Riku’s bout with darkness, while interesting, is getting a little stale.

Introducing a new character, with her own set of wishes and goals and faults would be fantastic.

Maybe Sora–afraid Kairi won’t fare well by herself–sends Donald and Goofy with her, instead of bringing them with him. Think of all the weird banter they could have: Donald would probably feel gypped, for having to spend time with Kairi instead of Sora. Kairi could feel belittled and embarrassed, but over time they’d come to like each other.

Oh! And just think about how much Donald and Goofy could tell Kairi about Sora! …And all the times that he talked about her… and all the embarrassing things that they’ve seen him do- it would just be a great dynamic. Even if it was just for a small part of the game.”

I think I might have inhaled you
I can feel you behind my eyes
Youve gotten into my bloodstream
I can feel you flowing in me

anonymous asked:

Could you tell me what a sigil is please? What does one do with it?

A sigil is a symbol that has a variety of uses. Sigils can be used as complete spells, as part of a spell, or something else. Basically, each sigil has a subliminal message of sorts in it that triggers magical energy when activated and charged. Charging sigils can be really simple or really complex- just whatever way you feel is easiest to transfer energy into it.

I’ve just been thinking about religion a lot lately since I’m going to be on my own soon and my parents have finally accepted that I’m not mormon.
I can only speak from my experiences, but often religion itself is not what many are unhappy with. Personally, I see a lot of truth at the roots of many religions, but as time wore on the churches lost a lot of those roots and took more secular approaches (one of the main reasons I’m not a fan of organised religions). Also, the attitude of many Christian religions is very interesting, and I’m sure this varies outside of the western world. But there’s this idea that believing in other another god(s) or goddess(es) is somehow… not real? As if polytheism or non-Christian religions are only myths or things to be seen in the movies.
I find this especially prominent as a polytheist. When I told my mom I believed in more than one god, including Greco-Roman gods and goddesses, she said that I was taking myth and making it my religion. This concept that “polytheism is great bedtime story fodder but people don’t really believe it” is very frustrating since it leads to people thinking you are out of touch with reality.
It also is really based in this superiority complex of “the whites have their good Christian god while those savages worship multiple gods we must therefore set them straight.” It demoralizes those who are polytheistic and treats them like children. Many polytheistic cultures are native cultures, and while the current general thought toward polytheism isn’t as harmful as it was in the past, it still has ties to the white savior complex.

anonymous asked:

What is your thought of fans saying Kaname is a complex character?

On one hand, I think it’s a fair assessment. A lot of his actions are initially shrouded in mystery throughout the series, he seemed like he was one step ahead of everyone else, and being cryptic is a key part of his personality. There’s also the fact that he has, like, three different personalities that contradict one another and struggle to coexist. So, I can understand why some fans - particularly fans of his character - would find him to be complex.

I guess my issue is that whatever complexity I thought his character had, or could have had, was ruined by the end of the series when I felt that Hino had simplified and watered his character down to the point of seeming silly. His motivations for all these terrible things are literally reduced to being just about Yuuki, which is funny, because she never asked for him to do any of that. And she became suicidal because he was too selfish to see how his actions were impacting her. In fact, she remains suicidal even after his death. 

I also feel like Kaname is a victim of his own making. He pushes away people who genuinely care about him, for… what reason, exactly? Why is he not allowed to have friends again? There’s literally no reason, other than the excuse of his pureblood charisma manipulating them, which Yuuki doesn’t seem to think is an issue. Because it’s not, unless you, you know, use it to take advantage of people. And it’s his self-inflicted isolation that makes him so lonely. Even in the Ancestor days, when he’s lonely, like… why didn’t he leave with the Ancestress to find more people like him? If her giving him a name meant so much that he continued to use it the rest of his life, why not follow her? Why choose to live somewhere where he’d be an outsider? I mean, I’m not saying he had bad intentions. He helped the humans in the village where he lived. But I feel like, at every turn, he set himself up for failure and then wondered how it happened, as if there was any other alternative. It’s like touching a flame and wondering why you got burnt. 

And this continues throughout Kaname’s life. He changes his mind about his original plan and decides to live with his “beloved girl,” even though he acknowledges before they even enter their family home that she has feelings for Zero. Like, he knew this. Her not being satisfied by his blood should not have surprised him. And he should not have tried to pursue a relationship with her while she was confused about her feelings, nor should he have guilted her for it as if it was something she did to him. So he enters a relationship with a girl he later admits to knowing all along should have been with Zero instead. He also repeatedly lies to her, even after supposedly coming clean not once but twice in their relationship. 

There’s also the question of why killing all the purebloods was even necessary at all. I get why he thought it was when Yuuki was still human - to ensure she couldn’t be turned back into a vampire. But after that? Sure, Sara killed a pureblood and was looking for power, but Kaname didn’t kill her. Touma attacked Yuuki, but Kaname didn’t kill him either. So what, exactly, flipped the switch on Kaname’s intentions? And then after all those chapters of showing us how Kaname loved humans, how Kaname helped them with the healing properties his blood offered, how he wanted to save them from bad purebloods, we have all of Kaname’s present actions reduced to being about Yuuki with the humans as collateral damage he doesn’t even show the slightest bit of remorse for. 

And you know, all of this could have contributed to making him seem like a very complex character, if the narrative had portrayed it that way. But Kaname’s not portrayed as a victim of his own making. Kaname is portrayed as a character we are supposed to feel bad for. And, I mean, I try. I know it doesn’t seem like it but I really, really do. But I can’t look at anything he’s done without thinking, dude, you brought this on yourself. Kaname is a character who eternally feels bad for himself, and kindhearted people are drawn to that like moths to a flame. Yuuki. Ruka. The Ancestress. They give up so much to save him from himself. The Ancestress gives up her life not only for the humans but to save Kaname from throwing away his own. Ruka betrayed him to save him from doing something that would push Yuuki away forever, giving up her position by his side. Yuuki basically gave up her heart and soul to repay him for all that she thought he had done for her. Hell, even the rest of the Night Class students would have died for him, not because he asked or wanted it, but because they cared for him.

Maybe that no longer mattered to him because he was suicidal and he wanted it to end. Maybe that’s exactly why he set himself up for failure, because he was hoping somewhere along the way, one of those failures would end his life. But, again, the narrative only barely alluded to this and whitewashed his character so much that this complexity was all but erased. It was a huge disservice to the story, and the character, and I wholeheartedly believe that is Hino’s regret with Kaname. 

tl;dr IMO Kaname was a character the narrative itself woobified and turned into a draco in leather pants, which really watered down the complexity of his character. It’s still there, I mean literally any character has the potential to be complex if you look deeply enough. But it’s not on like, Light or Lelouch level complexity by any means, and I guess that’s kind of what I was hoping for from him. 

Hope that answered your question! I’m not really sure what posts were talking about Kaname’s complexity as a character since I’ve only seen @abandonedsock’s response to a similar ask here but if there was something else you were wondering that I didn’t address, feel free to send another ask. :)